Cycle of Our Souls: Heart's Thunder
Part VI
Moon Raven
Disclaimers, notes, all that jazz:
Sailor Moon not mine! You no sue! Ok... uh... whatever...
Outward and onward... the quote at the beginning is, as always, Shawn Mullins. I love him dearly and am writing a play based on one of his songs; I would never want to do anything to piss him off, so I give him credit where credit is due!
This is the third chapter in the "Cycle of Our Souls" series, behind "Cycle of Our Souls: Heart's Love." The fourth and final chapter is "Cycle of Our Souls: Heart of Ice." Look for it if you enjoyed this one!
Enjoy!
"I am here now,
You've got the best of me.
So go ahead now,
Go ahead and take the rest of me.
There are two of us,
There are two of us - it's the cycle of our souls.
Yet we try and change and rearrange the way the story goes.
That's the way the story goes..."
-from "Cycle of Our Souls" by Shawn Mullins
"Oh, Gods, Lita," he moaned into his hands, "what have I done? What have I done?" The memories of his betrayal sang through him like the wind through the strings of a harp gone dreadfully out of tune. "I'm so sorry," he murmured in agony. "I never meant to… ohh, Gods!"
He had to go find her, to tell her… but no, why would she want to listen to him now? Surely she would soon remember this last bit, this horror that was the truth about his past self. How could he face her again, knowing what he knew now? And that knowledge combined with the way he had spoken to her when she tried to tell him the truth… he shuddered in revulsion and pressed his body against the stone that felt cold as ice against his back.
"Well you've made a fine mess of things," a voice said dryly from above him.
"Excuse me?" Neil demanded, annoyed, not bothering to uncover his face.
"If you continue to sit there and wallow in your own self-pity, her pain will turn into anger, and anger into hatred. If that happens, you'll loose her forever. And if that happens, the princess will die. Then what will become of the prince? Of Crystal Tokyo? Of Small Lady? Broad and strong as they are, Nephrite dear, I'm not sure even your shoulders could bear such a weight."
"What are you talking about?" he demanded, searching for the source of the lightly mocking voice. It was familiar to him somehow, as familiar as the memories he had just experienced. It was a man's voice, yet occasionally there was a soft, effeminate quality to it. "Who are you?" he asked at last.
"Flattered as I am by your interest, that is not a question I can answer at this time. Go to her, Nephrite. Tell her all that you have remembered, and accept the love she offers you. Without it, you're doomed. Without it… we're all doomed." And then he - whoever he was - was gone as though he had never been.
'Go to her,' he remembered with a frown. 'Go to her,' indeed! Go to her so that she may slam the door in my face and tell me - rightly enough - to go straight back to the Hell from which I arose?
But some other part of him, a more rational part, knew that the man had spoken the truth. Though he had no idea who Small Lady was, or why he should care about some place called Crystal Tokyo, he knew that Lita's friend Serena was the princess... and that Darien Chiba must be the prince.
Good Gods, I hadn't even thought about that! But then, quietly, he remembered Lita mentioned Jay and Malachy, and he knew that Darien was friends with the two of them. If everyone - especially Raye, Mina and Darien - can forgive Jadeite and Malachite, might Lita possibly forgive me?
Suddenly he realized that the cold stone of the fountain's base was no longer behind him, and that he was walking down the sidewalk toward Lita's apartment. "Well," he murmured bemusedly, "I guess this means I'm going to take his advice after all."
He walked through the lobby and into the elevator, hitting the button for the top floor of the building, knowing perfectly well it wasn't the one she lived on. He had to work up his nerve first, so he rode quietly to the top, then down again, then up, then down... on and on. Finally he stopped on the top floor, the doors opened, closed again and he did nothing. "You're a genius, Forrester," he said aloud. He reached out a shaking hand to hit the button for Lita's floor when the elevator suddenly started moving.
It stopped and the doors opened to reveal the very girl he was on his way to see. "Neil!" she demanded upon looking up to see him. "What are you doing on an elevator going down?"
"See, it's like this..." he began, wondering what exactly he was going to tell her. "I went to the park, and I remembered everything that happened back in the Silver Millennium. I realized that you were telling the truth - I guess I knew that all along, really - and I figured that you would hate me forever for being so mean to you. But then all of a sudden I heard this weird voice that told me to come talk to you so that we could save the princess and protect Small Tokyo and Crystal Lady or something;" the doors began to close and he hit the open button testily; "it was really quite confusing. So then I walked over here and got in the elevator, but I was too scared to come talk to you, so I've been riding up and down for the last..." He checked his watch. "...thirty minutes."
The dark-haired girl stood, open-mouthed, at this haphazard spill of words coming from the always eloquent and succinct Neil Forrester. Before she could reply, the doors started to close again. He pulled her into the small space with him and allowed them to close behind her. "Look, Lita, I know you have no reason to ever speak to me again. I was horrible to you, especially in light of everything I did... back then. I betrayed you and my prince and everything. But... you need to know that I love you. I've always loved you. No matter what happens, no matter what you say tonight, I always will love you."
"You've really been in the elevator for half an hour?" she said at last, grasping onto the least confusing thing he'd said.
"What? Oh, yeah... I'm getting a little dizzy from going up and down so much," he said sheepishly.
She looked down at her shoes for a moment, and a smile began to spread across her face even as tears began to collect in her emerald eyes. "When you walked out tonight I thought I'd never see you again. I thought I'd lost you forever. I thought I was wrong about... about everything. I didn't know if I was glad you were gone or not. Supposedly it's my destiny to be with Nephrite, and if you weren't him, then my love for you went against everything written in the stars about my fate."
He smiled softly and lifted her chin with a gentle hand. "The stars know all, Lita. They would never have allowed us to meet and fall and love were it not meant to be."
"Neil, what you did in the Silver Millennium was a long time ago, and Beryl had control of you. As for your reaction to my news... well, I can't say as I blame you, really. To remember all of this so suddenly is terribly hard."
His heart stopped and he clutched her hand desperately. "Does that mean you forgive me?" he whispered breathlessly.
She smiled up at him fondly. "Of course I do, baka. I believe I would forgive you anything... don't you know that I love you more than life?"
His jaw fell open, but rather than say a word, he swooped her up to kiss her long and hard. "Oh, my Lita, my darling, my princess, my goddess, my guiding star... how I love you. How I love you!" he murmured into the side of her neck as he held her.
"I love you too," she told him softly. After a moment, she shifted away to look up into his brilliant sapphire eyes. "Would you do something for me, Neil?"
"Anything in the Universe, Lita," he replied reverently.
"Then get me out of this elevator before I pass out from claustrophobia!" she cried suddenly.
He laughed, hit the open button, lifted her in his arms and carried her back to her apartment. Even after the door closed behind them, the sound of his warm, rich, love-filled laughter seemed to fill the hallway and the box-like compartment of the elevator.
End VI
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Check out "Cycle of Our Souls: Heart of Ice" if you liked this, and please review me!