Disclaimer: I don't own Roonil, The Quibbler, or anything you'll recognize. I do, however, own this plot.

Roonil Wazlib:

Dark Wizard or Aspiring Pollywog Trainer?

Who really is Roonil Wazlib? Is he a Dark Wizard affiliated with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Or is he a talented and aspiring pollywog trainer? This reporter brings you the truth about Roonil Wazlib and who he really is.

Recently, Wazlib was seen in the Hogwarts dungeons (also known as the habitat of the elusive Greasy Git). When parents received news of this mysterious wizard, rumors ran rampant, most saying that Wazlib was in league with You-Know-Who. The parents feared Wazlib and suspected he was a threat to their children. They demanded that the Board of Governors remove Wazlib from the school property.

However, the Board remained inactive. One concerned parent took the matter to the Ministry of Magic. Former Minister Cornelius Fudge immediately acted on the advice of now-known Death Eater Lucius Malfoy and declared Wazlib a Dark Wizard and wanted for questioning on his motives.

Today, The Quibbler has gotten an exclusive interview with Wazlib himself. In the private interview, Wazlib mentioned that he had wanted to be a pollywog trainer when he was a child. However, Dolores Umbridge, former professor of Hogwarts, 'crushed his spirit for pollywogging'. Without anything else to live for, Wazlib turned to stalking. Current Headmistress of Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall, has said that she believes Wazlib to be of no threat to the children and that 'he is free to come and go on Hogwarts property'.

Wazlib has rediscovered his enthusiasm for pollywog training with the help of a few Hogwarts first-years and hopes to enter a Muggle 'circus' in the future. This courageous wizard stood up against his disbelievers and proved them wrong. He is a role model for hope, humanity, and pollywogging here at The Quibbler.

What do you think, readers?

Do you support Roonil Wazlib? Have you met him before? What do you think of this astounding and unusual story? Owl your answers to 'The Quibbler' and we'll be sure to read your replies!

So, what did you think? This was just a short article I wrote as part of my Quibbler. I'm writing and formatting an edition of the Quibbler for a library program and my own fun.

I decided to take 'Roonil Wazlib' and turn him into someone real. As we all know, the Quibbler is famous for it's slightly nonsensical stories, like the one about Sirius Black/Stubby Boardman, so I thought this article wouldn't be too OOC for the Quibbler.

What did you think of it? Would you support Roonil in his pollywogging adventures? How do you think Ron would react if he were to read this story?