Hi guys!

I bet you didn't expect me to publish my new story so soon! Well, me neither but I started writing last night and couldn't stop until this first chapter was finished.

I know I implied that this new story would be about a completely new pairing and tv show, but to be honest with you I had this particular idea on my laptop for months and I just couldn't dismiss it so easily.

I didn't lie though. I'm very tempted to write a story that has nothing to do with SVU or Rizzles and I will explore this new pairing(Minx, which is the pairing of Marissa and Bianca on All My Children) very soon but I decided to give this SVU story a chance first.

What was it that convinced me to focus on this new SVU story first?

Easy, the couple of anons who left me negative reviews on Starting Over. I think it would be a shame to give them the impression and satisfaction of believing that their meaningless, redundant,(but incredibly amusing) reviews convinced me to quit writing SVU fictions.

Truth is, I'm never more inspired than after receiving negative reviews(and I received a couple on the epilogue), yeah I'm weird like that. So, thank you Anons for helping me make my decision and encouraging me to pursue this new SVU story !

Don't worry about my other idea, I'm working on it and I will post it soon. I often worked on several stories at the same time so it shouldn't be a problem.

Chapter one :

Perfect morning :

It was about eight O'clock when Olivia Benson woke up that morning. Waken up by the sun light piercing through her curtains, she quickly checked her alarm, groaned and pulled the covers, burying herself underneath. Positioning herself in fetal position, she took a minute to roam her fingers on that cold, empty spot next to her, spot that not long ago was taken by the most incredible woman she had ever met in her life, a woman she used to call her wife. Unfortunately all that remained of that woman today was the vague memory of the way she smell, of how soft her porcelaine skin felt when she gently stroke her cheek with the back of her hand to wake her up and how bright her smile was when she finally opened her eyes. But mostly what remained was a big dark hole in her heart she feared nothing would ever fill up, well, almost nothing...

"Mommy, mommy, wake up! It's sunny outside, I want to play!" That rather joyful voice belonged to Emily, Olivia's four years old daughter, whom she adopted about a year ago.

"Okay, but please, not so loud, I'm just waking up." Feeling her daughter's little hands all over her body as she quickly made her way in bed next to her, Olivia immediately snapped out of that contemplative state and instead found herself overwhelmed with joy at the simple view of the beautiful smile her daughter greeted her when she finally opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry mommy. Are you okay? You promise to help me ride with my try...try..."

"Tricycle sweetie and yes, I promised and I always keep my word. Come on, let's go get some breakfast first, you'll need a lot of energy if you want to ride that tricycle." Tossing the cover asides, Olivia snaked her arms around her little girl and bounced out of bed, holding her as tight as she possibly could.

"I think I like strawberries and apple juice for breakfast mommy, please." Little Emily said, giving Olivia her most irresistible pout.

"I think I can arrange that." Olivia replied as she quickly but careful walked down the stairs leading towards the kitchen.

Stepping into the kitchen, Olivia couldn't help but feeling a knot in the pit of her stomach. This used to be her favorite room in the house, the room that made her fell in love with that house the first time they visited it. Olivia, on the other hand didn't care much for the kitchen, what convinced her to purchase this house was the backyard that was large enough to accomodate a large table, a barbecue but also to build tree house with still plenty of space around for their kids to play.

This house was everything they ever dreamed about and remained as such for two years, until she walked out on Olivia and filed for divorce. The large living room was perfect to welcome Olivia's male friends during the Superbowl or other games that required to be watched on a big plasma screen to be fully enjoyed, on the first floor, the room on the opposite side of the hall from their bedroom was right above the kitchen and therefore quiet enough to allow her to work without being disturbed by screams coming from the living room during sport season. The bathroom possessed not only a large italian shower that allowed them to shower together but also a very large bathtub that they usually enjoyed together on the week ends by drawing themselves a hot bath with bubbles and lighting up some candles. Olivia would always go in first, just in case the water temperature wasn't perfect, she would settle down and then welcome her between her legs. Even though they often made love in that tub, this moment they treated themselves with was mostly meant for them to relax after a long week at work.

Things were different now, even though Olivia continued to receive Fin, Munch and Amaro and even Cragen to watch sporting events with her or to share a barbecue, the brunette mainly focused her free time on taking care of her daughter. For the first year or so after the divorce, she would only come home to take a shower and change clothes, she would mostly sleep at the precinct and the rare times she allowed herself to take some rest in the comfort of her house, it was always on the couch, never in their bed. Yes, it took over a year for Olivia to sleep in the bed she once shared with her and to this day still found herself crying from time to time when looking at the empty spot next to her.

Luckily things had improved since Emily came into her life, not only waking up to an empty bed didn't seem so painful anymore but she was actually looking forward to go home and spend time with her precious angel.

When Olivia decided to adopt a child a little over a year ago, she was still recovering from her divorce that had occurred about a year and a half before but she still possessed enough strength and determination to finally realize her dream of becoming her mother.

Because she had been turned down years before because of her lack of family support and her long hours, Olivia, , made sure that her passion for her job wouldn't be detrimental this time around. To do so, she studied for the Sergent exam, which she passed with flying colours and made further changes in the way she did her job.

Quite frankly, she never had a schedule before, she would simply go home once the job was done or if Cragen ordered her to do so, or at least that was before she starting dating her. With serious relationship comes responsibilities and the need to make compromises and strangely going home at reasonable hours or take week ends off here and there didn't seem that big of a deal because she got to go home to the woman she loved. So, when Olivia was appointed Sergent, replacing Munch, cutting down her hours didn't seem that much of a challenge, especially since she knew it was necessary if she wanted to be considered suited to adopt a child.

She met Emily a couple of months later through an adoption program Nick's church was sponsoring and it was love at first sight.

Emily was only two and a half years old at the time, and had only been in foster care for only a couple of weeks but bared the marks of her painful past. She was smaller than normal for her age and she barely talked but there was something about her that drew Olivia to her almost instantly. After only two months of supervised visits, Olivia made a formal request to adopt her. At first she was only granted temporary custody but, to her big surprise, social services, seeing the extend of the efforts she had made and the instant bond she had develop with Emily, gave her a positive recommandation and the adoption was finally granted four months later.

Bringing Emily home turned out to be more difficult than she expected because not only the girl would still barely talked to her, but also had terrible nightmares and would wake up crying several times a week. Slowly, with patience, love and a lot of kisses and warm hugs, the little girl slowly came out of her shell and slowly starting talking and returning Olivia's affection and they were now almost inseparable.

"What are you thinking about mommy?" Emily asked, her head titled on the left, her lips pursed.

"Nothing, I was just thinking that maybe we could go to the pool this afternoon, would you like that?" Now that Olivia was Sergent, she spent less time on the streets, chasing down suspects, interrogating suspects or even talking to victims and even though her administrative duties and various tasks as Cragen's new right hand often seemed boring, the joy of spending her evenings and week ends with her little girl made it all worth it.

"I don't know mommy, I don't like the pool very much." Taking a bite at her strawberry, Emily sent a quick frown towards her mother. Even if she was only four years old, she was already very stubborn and never hesitated to express her opinions.

"I thought you liked it when we went to that swimming class a couple of weeks ago?" Swimming lessons, attending painting classes, teaching her to ride her tricycle, having picnics in the park whenever the weather allowed it or even visiting the zoo were the new activities that now filled Olivia's free time to and she was enjoying every minute of it.

"No, the water is too cold and it hurts my nose when it gets inside and it doesn't taste good. I don't like it mommy. I'm sorry." Her head down, Emily immediately brought her knees up against her chest, closed her arms around them, and starting rocking her body back and forth.

"Hey, sweetheart, look at me. It's okay if you don't like it, we can go to that painting group you like to much." Sometimes Olivia forgot about Emily's past, how from a very young age she had to listen to her mother's lover verbally abuse her and witness her being beaten on weekly basis and how when she was two and half years old, she watched him smacked her head against the wall so hard that she died instantly.

Even if, according to Dr Huang, it was very unlikely that she remembered any of it, hearing Olivia's rising her voice or feeling that she was slightly upset was enough for her survival instincts to kick in it broke her heart every single time.

"Okay, I love you mommy to the moon and back..." Now sitting on her mother's lap, feeling her strong and warm arms around her, little Emily, slowly calmed down and within minutes resumed eating her breakfast.

"I love you too Emily." Her daughter on her lap, her arms snaked around her, Olivia couldn't help but wondering how long it would take for her nightmares to stop or for her to enter that kind of catatonic state every time she dared to slightly raised her voice on her.

According to Dr Huang, even though children usually don't form memories until the age of 3 or 4 some events remained branded in their brain for ever, and explained to her that pieces of the abuse would inevitably resurface from time to time. Furthermore, he explained that at some point, even though she would feel loved and safe with her, Emily might start asking questions, wondering why she's having those nightmares and that when that times comes, therapy might be an appropriate approach to slowly reveal her past to her without traumatising her.

But for now, all Olivia wanted to focus on was this sunny day and how she and her daughter were going to enjoy it.

So that morning, after dressing her up and making sure her helmet, knee and elbow protections were properly set, Olivia installed Emily on her tricycle and spent the entire morning teaching her how to ride it. At first, she would stay next to her, with her hand on her back but quickly the little girl felt more and more confident and asked her to let her try on her own. To Olivia's big surprise, Emily was so comfortable on that tricycle that she ended up running after her most of the morning.

Later that day, after eating the delicious lunch Olivia had prepared for them, yes becoming a mother had forced her to learn to cook basic meals, little Emily went for her daily nap, her mother lying in bed next to her, her arms snaked around her, thinking that this was definitely the most wonderful gift she had ever received, regardless of what it had cost her.

Well, well, well. What do you guys think of this first chapter? I decided to not use the present tense anymore. I know it makes things more intense and that you feel everything is happening before your eyes but I find it really hard to master and it just didn't seem fluid enough...

I know you're probably all wondering who Olivia was married to and why they got divorced. Don't worry, you'll know soon enough but for know I'd rather remain as vague and mysterious as possible...

Feel free to make educated guesses though! Once her identity is revealed I will alternate between the present and the past to include flashbacks, memories of what their lives used to be when they were married...

Thank you for reading!