Rose,

You'll never see this. I know you won't. You're gone, and I lost my chance.

I burned up a sun, just to tell you…and I still couldn't.

I'm so sorry, my beautiful Rose.

I saved the earth today, Rose. I saved it from a giant spider, with the help of the only person in the universe who can talk more than I can. Yep, such a person exists, can you believe it?

Afterwards…I asked her to come with me. I don't know why. I didn't really want her here in the first place, she just appeared, did I mention that? I said good

I left

You disappeared

Anyway.

She just showed up, this woman in white, IN THE TARDIS, and then we had to go off and save the world because her soon to be husband was head of human resources in a very literal sense, and…well, that happened.

I know why. Because she stopped me. I would have just kept going, watching everything burn and drown until I was lost in it, until all the rage and grief and loss pulled me under with the Empress and her many children.

But she stopped me.

So I asked her to come. Because I can't…without you, I don't know when to stop, because it's so easy to forget the reasons why I should.

She said no. She said she couldn't live her life like that. That it was terrible. That, while it was flooding and burning, I stood there like…a stranger. That I scare her to death. And then she invited me to Christmas dinner! Not that I do that sort of thing, not that I could, except…except when I did. But that was different.

She wanted me to promise her that I'd find someone. But I told her I don't need anyone. I can't. Because when I need someone, that someone's life is inevitably destroyed. Your life was destroyed. Because of me.

The last thing she said, she asked me what my friend's name was…the one I lost. The one that was very much alive, but so very, very lost.

The last word I spoke to her was your name.

Rose.