House of Crows (Vignettes)

Title: House of Crows
Author: Eternity in Seconds
Rating: T.
Pairings: Well… Zutara, but not…
Summary: Ending is beginning, beginning is ending. Freedom and Imprisonment walk hand in hand. Duty and honour are skewed. Life can be divided into seven parts: Birth, Innocence, Awakening, Trial, Love, Loss and Death…
Authors Note: Vignettes This is… different. It will have seven chapters, books or parts, whatever you want to call it. It WILL BE CANON COMPLIANT. Meaning Katara and Aang shack up and have little babies… I'm ignoring the comics. Heavily influenced by To Build A Home by the Cinematic Orchestra; Little Lies, Dreams and Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
Authors Note II: This is it guys. The End. Of House, that is. Ruins, the not-a-sequel, will be published within the weekend over in Legend of Korra. Yes. The non-sequel will be all about Korra working through her own Secret and dealing with the discovery of Master Katara's Secret. More down bottom.

What this A/N II is all about is the THANK YOU! Thank you to all those who reviewed. Your words meant the world and really did keep me going, fuelling the fire. I would love to see your thoughts etc etc on this chapter and the story as a whole. Thank you to all those who favourited and followed House of Crows. I will be adding one more chappie after this, with a TIMELINE of events, little bits and pieces and some background... Plus, I'm sending this out to the world - Any questions, drop them in a review and I will answer them! Cool?!

Anyway, this is a little late because its so LONG! It just grew and grew and grew! Hope you enjoy the finale to the House of Crows before it shatters...
Disclaimer: Bryke own EVERYTHING. I may own the story herein this FanFiction and I may own some of the Original Characters, but the original idea belongs to them.

Part The Seventh: Love
Seven For A Secret, Never To Be Told…

Summer, 171ASC
Six Months after the Equalist Revolution
Fourth Year Of Firelord Zeeri's Reign

His grandson stood behind the lectern, back straight, uniform gleaming. Hair just this side of disarrayed. The crowd had gathered in the beautiful, traditional City Hall, and Zuko watched in awe as they gave his grandson, complete and undivided attention. Respect. General Iroh II, he knew, was about to be promoted to Commander of the United Forces when the current Commander, Bumi, son of the Avatar, stepped down.

The United Forces was the United Republics' first line of defense. It served as the nation's main military, consisting of soldiers and benders from the Fire Nation, Water Tribe, and Earth Kingdom. Everyone was equal. There was no discrimination, against race or gender. It was one of Zuko's greatest achievements.

The higher ups said it was only natural that the grandson of the greatest Firelord in five hundred year's would take control of the entirety of the United Forces very soon. Zuko was proud of his grandson, proud beyond compare, but he worried. Iroh, like he himself, hadn't really had a chance to be wild. As soon as his grandson had turned fourteen, he entered in the United Forces Academy, which usually only accepted students above the age of sixteen. By seventeen, he had started his climb through the ranks.

But seeing his grandson addressing all these, commanding the attention of every single one, he had never felt so sure that Iroh would be fine.

He, though, he was not fine.

His heart ached. His head hurt. He felt the presence of his lost friends in every corner, aspect, part and stone of this hall. Toph. Sokka. Aang. Suki. They had all made this place themselves, they had all built it up and watered it and maintained it. They had raised it to be what it was today.

He missed them

"This is the anniversary of a great day in our joined history," Iroh said in a clear and concise manner. "This is the day that the people became one. This is the day that war ended. This is the day when life began again, anew, for every person in this world of ours, no matter their rank or position, their money or fortune, their home or valley. This is the day Peace won. This is a day that we will remember in our hearts and minds forever."

The crowd came alive after its nostalgia, shouting and cheering. Zuko knew that a screen had been placed outside, allowing the square to fill with thousands of locals and travellers. He heard their roar of agreement through the stone walls, felt the vibrations as they stomped and jumped in celebration.

His grandson sipped from his glass of water and said nothing more.

The crowd inside was a little more reserved. The clapped politely as Iroh stepped down and immediately started conversing amongst themselves. A long table had been made by the earthbenders across one side of the marvellous hall, adorned with food from every culture and town across the known world. Water Tribe cuisine, Fire Nation deserts. It was feast for the eyes.

Zuko marvelled, not at the food itself, but of the tiny little flags sitting behind each dish, side by side. Water. Earth. Water. Earth. Earth. Fire. The occasional air nomad dish. Yet nothing was out of place.

"Dragon Ambassador Zuko." He turned around, his old body still agile, and didn't even bother to hide the smile as Lin Bei Fong bowed her head.

"Commissioner Bei Fong, a pleasure to see you again." Her cue received, Lin fluidly returned to her normal height, back military straight, green eyes assessing the room before them. Her uniform gleamed dangerously in the light, making her threatening and aristocratic at all at once.

"It's been too long, Lin."

Lin turned around, a grin as mischievous as her mothers had been settled over her lips. "Not really. Maybe you're just losing your mind in your old age, Dragon."

Lin had had a fondness for nicknames as a child just like her mother. Dragon had always been his.

"Careful Lin. I can still take you in a fight."

"I don't believe you, sir."

He cocked an eyebrow, a smile threatening to pull at his lips. "Name a time and place, child."

"I can't fight an old man. Where is the honour in that?"

They stood in contemplating silence; Zuko cloaked half in the shadow as he leant against a pillar. Lin was like the niece he had never had. She was a cousin, friend and confidant to Zeeri – or had been, once upon a time – and a member of his small family.

When he actually put thought to it, Zuko realised that Zeeri and Iroh were the only other two who fell into that very selective category.

Toph, Azula, Uncle, Irax, Issa and his mother had once been a part. But no longer. No one else

Don't keep pretending! Be honest, don't lie! I…

He banished the thought before it could grow and shook his head. Up on the stage, Master Tenzin ascended to the lectern. He felt Lin stiffen, ever-so-slightly, and felt pity drip into his stomach.

"How have you been, Lin?"

"Fine. After the Avatar gave me back my bending, of course."

Zuko appraised her, calculating and analysing. She shifted and he took his chance. "That's not what I meant, champ, and you know it. So how about you stop lying to your Spirit-father."

Lin sighed, refusing to speak.

He tried again. "It's their thirteenth anniversary, isn't it?" He asked, nodding with his head towards the stage where a woman and a small baby talked quietly with Master Tenzin. He saw Lin's jaw clench out of the corner of his eye. "And they just had another child. Is that one an airbender as well? Or just a non-bender, like Commander Bumi? Everyone was shocked when the Avatar's first son was a non-bender. The Avatar especially. He was worried that the airbenders would literally die with him. Luckily…"

"Why don't you call the Avatar by his name?"

"Don't change the subject, Lin Bei Fong. It's rather rude."

Lin growled quietly. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because Toph would if she was here."

"We'll, my mother isn't and my father…"

"That's why I'm asking."

Her puff deflated. "It hasn't been easy. Especially when that pesky, wild Avatar came to Republic City." He didn't bother to hide his smirk. "She was asking too many questions. Annoying questions. That were none of her business."

"But you like her?"

Lin blinked, caught off guard. "What?"

"I should meet her. If she has your respect then that means something."

Before Lin could respond, Master Tenzin started his speech. "Today is not only a celebration, but a time of remembrance. Seventeen years ago, the world lost its greatest hero."

Zuko had never been the hero.

Aang was the hero. The Avatar.

"Avatar Aang – my father, my teacher – died knowing that he had achieved his dream: Peace in our realm. He had birthed this place, this era of acceptance and equality, and determined our fates. He left the world in our hands. And he was reborn. Nine months after his death, his soul returned to us in the form of a little water tribe girl. She was opposite and complement – she was him and herself. Today, we celebrate the birth of our new saviour, Avatar Korra of the Southern Water Tribe."

Clapping. Zuko strained, trying to see over the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of the girl-avatar. He found her to the left of Master Tenzin's lectern, surrounded by the airbenders children, the Sato girl who owned Future Industries, and two other boys who looked like family.

He wondered why Lin was not with them.

As if reading his thoughts, Lin snorted. "The younger brats bug me."

A few diplomats gave him dirty looks when he chuckled quietly, which quickly turned to red-faced bows and mumbled apologises. Eighty-six and still commanding fear.

"It is with great pleasure that I present to you your Avatar."

The cheering was thunderous. It seemed like the halls shook as the people inside and out went wild for the girl. She was strong, dressed in the garb of her nation. A formal dress. Boots. Her hair even had the traditional loopies – without the loops. So maybe it wasn't so traditional. Zuko couldn't decide.

She made a quick speech, thanking the people for their continued support and apologising for her absence. She had been training, honing and improving her airbending. Lin informed him that the girl had struggled with air, but excelled at manipulating fire. Zuko admitted surprise, by knew that it made sense.

Personality determined the majority of an Avatar's talents. Aang hadn't been able to firebend because it wasn't in his nature to be passionate and temperamental. Water had been easiest, because it was all soothing motions. A perfect companion to his beliefs as an Air Nomad.

Lin suddenly straightened and he came back from his thoughts quickly, sliding into his persona effortlessly. "I have to attend to some business. One of the Triad's is trying to be funny."

Zuko nodded. "Understood."

Lin smiled gently. "Is it okay if I try and see you before you leave?"

"When was it ever not?"

She slipped into the crowd. And Zuko was alone.

Instead of starting riveting political conversation with the other ambassadors, diplomats and rich-snakes, Zuko skirted along the edge of the rom and observed. He watched Chief Unulaq of the North and South, and his children, Desna and Princess Eska. He watched as the Chief watched the Avatar, and it suddenly occurred to Zuko that he was her uncle.

He watched Commander Bumi discuss battle tactics with Iroh and a few other ranking officers of the United Forces, the Commander animated and exhilarated in his actions and movements. He was every bit the child in a man's body, just like his father had been later in life. Maybe it was an airbender thing?

But then again, as he watched Master Tenzin and his beautiful family, that wasn't true. Master Tenzin was studious, serious and droll. His eldest daughter looked like she would rather be in a library. But the two younger siblings fit perfectly into his theory, making balls of air and then throwing them at each other to see whose wold last the longest.

He never understood Lin's feelings for the air bender.

His golden gaze slid over the crowd, trying to find the Avatar, when someone interrupted him. "Good evening, Dragon Ambassador."

His heart lurched into his throat. His stomach turned in on itself and started knotting. Pulse flashing, as fast as lightning, and just as violent. "Well met, Master Kya."

She's wearing the necklace…

She was there. Right there. Within touching distance. Blue robes traditional. Hair loopies swinging. Her silver hair gleamed in the light and he felt his age in every pore of his body.

Kya, daughter of the greatest waterbender in history, bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Ambassador, but I haven't properly thanked or spoken to you since my father's funeral."

Father.

His heart sped up. Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump Tha-rump.

"Don't apologise for something like that, Master Kya. What you went through isn't easy. I wish it upon no one, burying a loved one. You are in no wrong."

He saw a faint flush in her cheeks. "Actually, I wanted to thank you for the aid you sent the South after the tsunami."

He had never been gladder for a change of subject. He shrugged. "The Fire Nation knows better than anyone else the effect a tsunami can have."

"But still, you didn't need to."

"I wanted to, Master Kya. And I usually do what I want. Just ask any of the diplomats, politicians, generals or Kings in this room. I'm a stubborn bastard." He went still, realising what he had just said. "I apologise for my language. It was unnecessary."

She laughed the sound like trickling water and he was lost in the sound, so familiar. A taste of home. "Don't apologise! Seriously, I'm glad for the respite. Politicians, diplomats, generals and Kings are all so stuffy and uptight. I'm all about honesty. And I don't care much for code of conduct, if you understand my meaning."

Her whole demeanour had changed. She was just like her mother.

"I understand your meaning."

Kya paused, looking anxious for a moment. He decided to ease the tension. "Have you ever probended?"

"Absolutely." She paused, titling her head to one side, considering him. "Made the local team growing up around here. Kicked serious but. It was probably nothing compare dto the way you, my mother and Master Toph used to be, though." Her face turned serious and blue eyes studied him. "You have so many scars. I've only seen them today, but I'm going to miss them."

What?

"That's a very odd thing to say to someone you hardly know."

He was used to comments about scars. But he still felt the urge to touch his face.

People had started to notice the pair of them in the dark corner, close together and seemingly engrossed in one another. Stupid people got the wrong idea. Whispers started. Zuko felt his temper tick-tock tick-tock and knew that it was only a matter of time before he bent someone into an appetiser.

Kya suddenly started swaying in front of him, and his anger turned to panic. Grabbing her upper arms, he led the waterbender through a side door and weaved through the small groups of chit-chatters until they reached the balcony. He sat her down on a bench and offered to bring her water.

Kya snorted, steady again. "Why would I need water?"

Zuko blinked. "Because you feel sick…"

"Says who?"

He caught on and groaned, rubbing at his eyes. The waterbending master only smirked in amusement. So familiar… She didn't pester him, though. Silently, she scooted over, patting the bench beside her. Warily, he eyed the seat. I have done this before… Unfazed, she titled her head back and proceeded to stare up at the twilight sky, admiring the young stars as they peeked out, kicking her feet like a five year old. So many years…

"I am so glad we walked. We can use that as an excuse to leave early and avoid the bloodsuckers."

"Well I didn't really have a choice in the matter," Zuko remarked. "But I would have to agree."

"If you would stop being mean to everyone, you might actually have some fun, you know."

"Me? Mean? I haven't even spoken to someone properly. How on earth can I be mean to someone I haven't even spoken too?"

She shrugged.

He wrinkled up his nose. "I doubt it, anyway. Fun? As you just wonderfully and creatively put it, they're a bunch of bloodsuckers. They all want something. They are never willing to give something."

"Why would you want to be part of any of that, then?" She asked, gesturing back to the double doors they had come through with her chin. "You would never get any peace. And you did your figurative time. You rebuilt your Nation, from scratch practically, and then spent years fighting for it. Have you ever actually had a place or moment or person just to yourself?"

Why is she asking all these questions?

"You shouldn't worry about me so much, Master Kya. Plans are very likely to change between now and whenever. I may retire. I may die. I may wake up one morning and decided to live for me. I don't know though, and until I do, I am what I am."

"That's sad."

"That's my life."

She paused again, watching him. "It's so strange. I know that I have never met you, but it feels like I know you. I want to know more about you. You're some kind of enigma. A mystery. A puzzle box. My father always spoke about you so highly. My mother said you were a great man. The most perfectly flawed person she had ever met." Kya closes her eyes and allows the moon to soak into her skin. "I was never close to my father. Not like my brothers. But, when he talked about you, I felt like I knew you. I felt close to him. Connected. I felt like I should be proud…"

"Kya."

Everything froze. Time ceased to move. His heart was racing, beating so fast and loud he was sure she would hear it from where she stood behind him. He wanted to turn around; he wanted to sink to his knees. He wanted to see her. But he couldn't do it. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to live. He should hate her, yet he knew that if she left, he wouldn't – couldn't continue.

But still, he turned around.

"Hello Zuko."

xXx

Spring, 124ASC
Twenty-Fourth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign

Republic City was beautiful in the springtime.

"Daddy, look!" Zeeri shouted from her place on top of his shoulders, a hand wrapped around his forehead as his shaggy hair flopped across his face. "It's you!"

He laughed looking up at the statue as fire burned in its palm. A lot has changed since he was last here. There are more benders of every Nation – Fire, Earth, Water. Non-benders from every walk of life mingle with them. The rich chat amicably with the merchants and the poorer. It is utopia. Paradise.

He can't believe he helped create it.

"Come on, Zeeri."

"I want to stay and buy something from that Water Tribe merchant," she whines, gracefully tumbling off his shoulders and landing in a crouch. She stands, hands on hips, golden eyes pleading. He chuckles.

She looks so much like him.

"Fine."

She squeals and dashes off.

Left alone, Zuko remembers that the last time he was here in the City was four and a half years ago, with his Uncle. At the thought of his Uncle, his chest aches and heart constricts. He still can't believe that his Uncle has been dead for four years. Zeeri was seven.

But she still remembers him.

"Hurry up, dad!" Zuko blinks dazedly and sees a smiling Zeeri, taping her foot patiently. He grins and follows her to the jewellery vendor.

"Help me pick something out for Kya."

Zeeri sees the little water bender every time she goes on a min-vacation with her Aunt Zuzie. Zuko loved that his daughter insisted on calling Azula by the childhood nickname. Azula groaned and bitched, but he knew that she loved it.

"Shouldn't you have brought your Aunt? She probably would be more of a help. With shopping."

Zeeri shrugs. "Then Sokka would have come too."

Zuko smirks. "And that's bad, why?"

Zeeri rolls her eyes. "Have you heard his jokes?"

Zuko laughs and ruffles his daughter's hair affectionately. Zeeri give shim a look and he raises his palms up in submission and starts looking half-heartedly. Zeeri starts an easy conversation with the vendor, who asks why her father wears a hood, and Zuko blocks the conversation out as Zeeri goes off on a breezy answer about shyness.

People still shrink away from his scar. Zeeri, Toph, Lin, Tatou, Szarchi, Piando, Jee – they are the only ones who don't. He has come accustomed to the shame. It's only a passing thought.

His eyes nearly missed it. He reached out and unhooked the necklace from the display, holding it in the palm of his hand, and knew that it is the one. Smiling victoriously as he holds up a traditional Southern Water Tribe necklace, Zuko gives Zeeri a look.

Her eyes went wide. "Perfect."

xXx

When they reached Air Temple Island, Zuko almost didn't recognise the place. It had grown from the small pebble that it had been birthed as. There was now an actual Temple – complete with small, tiny little sky-bison drifting around the spires like lazy flies. The ferry chugged along happily, and Zeeri was contentedly leaning against Zuko's side as she read one of the History books from his library.

The History of the Avatar and the Firelord. Sozin's story. Roku's story.

Zeeri still couldn't get over the fact that she was descendent of an Avatar. His own mother, Ursa, in the brief time he had spent with her, had told him his history. Explained her story.

It was a cherished memory.

"Now arriving at Air Temple Island."

Sokka stood on the dock, waving enthusiastically even though he was a grown and respected man.

Excitement. "It's Councillor Sokka!" Zeeri gave a small wave, still unsure around the Water Tribe man, even though he spent quite a lot of time in the Fire Nation whenever he had a break.

"Zuko! Princess Zeeri!"

"Why is she Princess and I'm just Zuko?" Zuko asked as he climbed off the ferry. Zeeri, as athletic and talented as her Aunt had been, somersaulted off. Ty Lee's lesson doing some good after all.

"Because you tried to kill me once," Sokka pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling broadly. "Plus…"

Zuko raised a hand. "What have I told you? I. Don't. Need. To. Know."

"Know what?"

Both men looked at Zeeri and Zuko resisted the impulse to slug Sokka. "Nothing, sweetie. Go on ahead."

She shrugged and started on her way up. Sokka watched after her, a wistful look on his face, and Zuko felt a deep sorrow for his friend.

"Azula apologises. But she…"

Sokka cut him off. "Don't worry. I know she still finds it uncomfortable to be around… Team Avatar. I mean, we are the reason she was locked up, right?"

That pang panged again. "Sokka…"

"I've made peace with it Zuko. She has as well."

Zuko didn't say anymore and neither did Sokka. He knew that Sokka, a fellow warrior, understood the silence that had descended around them. It was filled with words and aid. It was filled with the things that had no need to be said.

They arrived at the Temple and Zuko smiled. "Reminds me of the Western Air Temple… if it were the right way up, anyway."

Zeeri waited by the door. "Come on, Dad. You haven't met Kya and it's her birthday. Plus, you need to see Bumi and little baby Tenzin."

"Can't wait to see the teen years," Sokka mumbled to him, devilish grin on his face. Zeeri heard, bracing both hands on her hip and glared.

Sokka visibly gulped. "Damn… She's as scary as Azula…"

Zeeri's temper changed and she was bright and bubbly again. "Good! Aunt Zuzie is a great lady. I'm glad I'm like her."

Sokka's eye practically bugged out of his skull. Then a tender smile crossed his lips. "You're absolutely right, little Spark. Come one. I'll show you around."

Zuko followed through the winding corridors. He heard the faint thrum of happy voices and giggles. He heard Toph's gentle voice and Lin's squabble. Then, he heard and saw her.

"Sokka, what's taking so…"

Katara was as beautiful as ever. Her hair was pinned back, her cheeks slightly flushed. She looked as strong and powerful as ever, but little tell-tale things struck Zuko as Wife and Mother.

Fuck me…

He saw her in red. He saw her crowned in gold. He saw her holding two little bundles. He saw Zeeri and another little girl. He saw a boy to match the two in her arms. He saw his Uncle, back from the dead, laughing happily with his mother and Azula. He saw them together, Toph holding Lin. He saw Irax and Issa standing with their own bundle…

The dream shattered into a hundred thousand pieces when Aang appeared and kissed Katara on the temple.

"Kya wants help putting balloons up in the rafters," he said, snuggling against her.

The girl in question appeared next, holding a tiny little flying-lemur tightly in her arms as it purred. "Mummy, can Zeeri and I have some ice-cream?"

Katara's eyes strayed from Zuko's face for the first time, wide with fear and horror. Zuko's heart clenched. Kya's round face and dark skin made her look almost identical to her mother. Thick hair curved around her face, pulled back in a ponytail. A slight slant titled her brilliant cerulean eyes.

Her smile broke him.

Zeeri appeared. "I don't mean to be any trouble, Master Katara…"

"Its fine, Princess," Aang replied smoothly, moving off Katara. "Let's get that ice-cream, shall we?" He cats a quick look at Zuko and smiled. "Sorry, Sifu. Duty calls, you know?"

And then there were two.

He couldn't speak. He couldn't make a sound. Every word he thought of came tumbling over his conscious, tripping over itself and making everything narrow. He remembered Kya's birth – vividly, the red tinging everything. Remembered what he had thought.

Beautiful… you'll be a heartbreaker, like your mother so unknowingly was. You'll be a great waterbender, kind and caring. You'll have a free spirit and grow up in a happy place, where pirates don't stalk the nights. You'll grow up playing with Zeeri and the two of you will become the closest friends. I'm sorry that your mother couldn't hold you first. Sorry you had to see this horrible, twisted thing instead of your mothers beautiful face…

He remembered the look Katara had. The frown. The panic.

Kya was a heartbreaker.

She broke his.

"She's mine. I always suspected… never… Azula… Kya is my daughter. She even… she looks like me… Zeeri will be so…"

"You need to leave. Now." He came up short, breath vanishing without a trace, heart ceasing its movements. Her eyes blazed. "I'll have Sokka bring Zeeri back to your apartments."

"Katara… Kya…"

"I can get Zeeri so you can say goodbye."

"Stop, Katara."

She wouldn't.

"I'm sure everyone will be a little disappointed, but you won't be missed. I'm sure they'll understand that you'll have Firelord duties to attend to. Besides, we wouldn't want to keep you, anyway. The Fire Nation is only now back on track after all the civil disputes."

"Katara."

She moved away from his outstretched hand. Hurt. Despair overcame everything. Rejection.

Not again… The funeral pyre burned to life.

"Just go."

"Katara…"

"You are not to come near my daughter, Zuko." His name had never been said as such a curse.

"Katara, please. Kya…"

"No one can know. No one can see you two together. I never realised it was so obvious until just now..." She closed her eyes and her whole body shuddered. She turned her back on him and started for the door. "She is Aang's daughter."

He reached for her again. He spun her around, made her face him.

And she flinched away from his face.

xXx

Summer, 171ASC
Six Months after the Equalist Revolution
Fourth Year Of Firelord Zeeri's Reign

When he was out – here, there, anywhere – alone, contemplating all the things he didn't do and the person he hadn't become ... if he thought about it too long a hush seeped into the grey space and the wind would hollow out his bones, and the purest kind of loneliness would rise up from the inside to swallow him like an avalanche.

It was a pleasurable, tortured pain. Anguish and desire. Regret and acceptance. He would wish a hundred-thousand different things, one for every star he saw, and know that they were empty words. That nothing would come of them, that nothing would ever come of them, because the Spirits had determined everything.

He had spent a life time trying to atone for sins that weren't his to atone for and had wasted a life in the process. He had nothing to show of it. Except a legacy that wasn't really his (The Avatar, with the help of the Firelord) and a daughter who didn't know him at all.

He hated that.

Zeeri had deserved so much better…

But he had kept her in the light, as far away from his shadows as possible. As far away from his mistakes and treasons, from his regrets. From his truths.

Hell was not a pit of fire and brimstone. Hell was waking up alone, the sheets wet with your tears and your seed, knowing the woman you had dreamed of would never come back to you.

Zuko had descended into hell and returned.

But he would give anything to go back, even if just for a moment. A night.

"Kya, I've been looking for you everywhere," she said, her words sugared in the tone he knew so well. Falsehood and warning. She was not happy. "Your brothers want to give a demonstration of some description."

"I'll be in a minute."

"Now."

Kya looked taken aback by her mother's sharp edge. "I'm talking to the Dragon Ambassador."

"Now, Kya."

"I'm not seventeen, mother. I can talk to men when I want. Especially if they are old enough to be my father."

She visibly recoiled and Zuko felt his last tether break. The last rope binding him to sanity snapped cleanly, violently.

"It's alright, Master Kya," he murmured, giving her a soft smile.

Kya hesitated but gave in to his quiet, unspoken demand. Leave me alone with your mother.

"Thank you for answering my questions and not trying to burn me to a crisp. It was much appreciated." She gave a traditional Fire Nation bow and turned to leave. She brushed by her mother, coldness and frozen ice, but stopped short of leaving. "And it's Kya." With that, she stormed away into the hall.

For the first time in seventeen years, she was there. In front of him

For the first time in forty-seven years, they were completely and utterly alone.

"How dare you," She hissed, eyes burning in the darkness.

"Ka-"

"Do you know what they are saying? Do you know what they think?"

His mouth ran away with him. "Unfortunately, I'm not a telepath." Her face twisted in anger, frustration and hurt. His heart broke. "No, please. I… Kya… Just give me a chance before you push me away. That's all I ask."

His soft voice was a scream, but her silence was deafening. The horrible things she must have wanted to shout at him... all the things he wanted to say to her stuck in his throat and refused to move. He tried to spit them out, but they ran together creating static in his mind. He no longer wanted to see her, no longer wanted to talk to her. He only wanted to forget her.

He had moved towards her, grasped her arm, without even realising it. She pushed his hand away from her shoulder. He tried holding tighter. There every move became a tug of war. He wanted her closer. She couldn't move fast enough to get away from him.

"Let me go," she snarled.

"Not until you talk to me."

Suddenly, all control was gone. His hand snapped back, snapping, and he bot down hard on his lip to stop the shout of pain. His entire arm lurched away, completely free of his control, and he skidded backwards like she had pushed him.

Her eyes were wide and frightened. Just like the last time.

He cradled his arm to his chest and didn't make a move in her direction again. She was finally coming down from the shock and feeling that came with seeing him again. Cautiously, like a deranged animal was hunting him, he eased himself to a standing position.

"I'm sorry…" Hers a broken whisper to the night.

He wondered how long it had been since she had bloodbended.

He found his voice again. "I expected you to look different… I should have recognized your voice… I don't know what happened… I wouldn't have if I had known people would talk… I… didn't realise that I would hurt…"

Should have, could have, would have. Did, did not. Empty words.

"How could you not have imagined or thought…" She couldn't find the right words either. "Given our history, I don't want you touching me. Is that hard to comprehend?"

"It is for me. I actually know our history, and I touched you..."

"And how did that work out for me?"

His temper flared. "You can't make our entire relationship about that night. It's not fair. You don't know what you meant to me. You don't know anything. It could never be as wrong as you thought it was."

"Confessional is coming up. Was I married to someone else? Was I wrong to put my trust in you? Did you betray me? Tell me, out of all those, which were wrong?"

"None," he shouted. "I fucked everything up. Even when you know the truth, I'll still be the villain. Even though it wasn't my fault."

"Just like I thought."

"Excuse me?"

"You are never at fault. It is never your fault."

"Can you hear yourself? Majority of everything is my fault. Always has been. My mother leaving and killing my grandfather? My fault. My sister going nuts? My fault because I caused the root of her insanity. My wife dying? My fault. My fault, my fault, my fault. But the one time I wasn't at fault…"

"It was a mistake and mistakes are wrong."

"No they aren't! You learn from mistakes! You grow from mistakes!"

"And I grew from ours."

He flinched. He couldn't help it. It was what he had dreaded. What he had feared since she had told him to stay away all those years ago. He was a mistake. He had always been her mistake. She had never cared.

"You came to me that night."

Silence. The Loudest Sound.

"You came to me that night…" Caught. Frozen, Stuck. Stubborn. Breakable, all the same. "Katara."

xXx

Spring, 113ASC
Thirteenth Year of Firelord Zuko's Reign

He'd rolled out of bed on the darkest watch of the night, awakened by one of his daughter's braver attendants. The story had poured out of the maid like storm-water off a roof. The Princess Zeeri was still not well. The Princess Zeeri was cold to the touch, not warm. It was almost like the baby was exhausted by the struggle of her birth, even though it had been a week ago.

Some nights though, especially at the beginning, he had sat by her crib, in the room that had once belonged to his mother and then her mother, all night. Alert. Tense. Waiting. She'd been so sick when she had been born. She hadn't cried out. Hadn't made a noise. Her body had been cold. But when Zuko had taken her up in his arms, unbuttoning his shirt and placing her little naked body against his broad chest moments after Issa's spirit had departed the world, and used his inner fire to warm her.

He was the only one who could calm her.

Zeeri was finally asleep, breathing evenly. He crept out of the room, through a secret passage a long-ago Firelord had installed, and arrived back in his chambers. He has forsaken his bed, and in his black pants, stood on the balcony that overlooked the Fire Rose Garden, Caldera City and bay. It was a beautiful sight and it usually filled him with warmth and ease.

But not tonight.

All he could see was white and red. White robes. Red flames. All he could hear was the sermon.

Irax had left, leaving for the United Forces Naval base off Whale Tail Island. Zuko knew that he was not coming back. Issa's memory haunted him here. His Uncle had had to depart for Ba Sing Se to stop a small uprising. He was alone in his grief.

Always alone.

His chest ached, right where Azula's lightning had hit, and he raised a hand reflectively, even though it caused him no pain. It was just a tingle. Reminding him that lightning coursed through his veins.

"I thought it had stopped hurting."

He froze, spinning around, and she stood in the doorway, cloaked in moonlight like a Spirit of the Night.

"It has. The pain… is different this time."

She doesn't move from his doorway. He sees that she wears the customary white of mourning, even though she is not Fire Nation. Then he realises that it is actually a silk night gown, with long sleeves that drape around her arms, moving like water over pebbles. The end of the sleeve falls to her knee in a bell shape.

He shouldn't, but he reacts. She is beautiful.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't save her."

"Issa knew the risks. She knew. The Fire Sages said she wouldn't survive. But she wanted Zeeri so much…" He cleared his throat, looking away out over the glittering bay, rubbing the back of his neck. "Besides. What's another scar?

She titled her head, not saying another word. Then she moved, flowing like water until she stood in front of him. A vision from his darkest, deepest, purest dreams. Hesitantly, tentatively, she raised her hand and placed her cool palm against his burning chest. "So many scars…"

She traced each one.

That one was from a knife.

This one from his sister when they were five. An accident. She had been running with scissors.

That one was from his training. From Piando, the swords master.

This one was from an assassin.

That one from an insurgent.

This one from the man who was his father.

That one from Mai, long ago.

This one from the pirates.

That one from the explosion that nearly killed him, back in the North.

This one, that one. That one, this one. That, this, that. This, that, this.

Thousands of scars show his past but at least he knows who he is. Some saw him as a monster, like his father, like his grandfather, like all his ancestors. Some saw him as a martyr. But they all lied and hid while he sat back and watches.

He breaths in quickly as her finger traces the outline of the old bite-scar across his right shoulder and trapezoid. She looks up at him, questioning. "I was eighteen. The insurgents were hiding on the Jungle Island, off the east coast. A leopard-centipede-eel – six legs, agile, cunning, massive – managed to sink its teeth in. We ended up beating the insurgents."

She moves to another. "Mai. I pissed her off. I was twenty. We had been friends for three years."

Another. "Your brother got a lucky hit in in sparring practice."

Again. That scar. "You know how I got that one."

She bites her lip, worries it between pearl white teeth. "You're always the hero. Always saving me. Form the lightning. From the rubble at the Western Air Temple. From death."

He feels his heart speeding up as she continues to trace the star-scar over his heart. He grabs her hand, suddenly, moving so quickly she startles in fright. "I'm no hero."

"Zuko…"

"I'm not, Katara. Aang is a hero. I've done too many evil things. Killed too many people."

He turned away, locked the door to his heart and threw the key as far away as possible. The pyre of the dead burned behind his closed eyelids. The Fire Sages and Ash Sisters sung their funeral march in his ears. The loss clawed at his touch, his taste. He couldn't lose someone he never had to begin with.

But that is what would happen if she got close.

He felt calloused hands tug at his bare shoulders. He stood strong. She slipped around him, trailing lines of fire and ice wherever her fingers touched and brushed. She stood in front of him again.

"Zuko, please, don't shut me out." Pleading. Begging. Needing. Hoping. "Zuko, you aren't a monster. You're not. No…"

"Yes, Katara." Her eyes would be his tomb. "I see them all. Every man I have killed. Every woman. Every child I couldn't save. The victims of my father. The victims of my ancestors. They all come to me, seeking retribution. I've a hundred in the Civil War. I will kill so many more. Every time I sign an order, that means someone else will die. I am a monster."

"Stop it." Her voice is impossibly smooth. "Just stop it Zuko. You aren't a monster. You will never be a monster. Even if you can't, I do. I see the good in you. I see the honour and respect and love. I see the way you cared for Mai, even when she hated you. I have watched you with Azula. I have seen you forgive her time and time again. A monster does not have compassion. Does not have empathy. You are flawed." She flattens her right palm against his star-scar and cups his scarred cheek with her left. "You are everything you need to be. You are perfect. Scars and all."

Everyone has secrets; someday they'll know them all. Someday his will all come out.

But not tonight.

Tonight, he would make a new one.

When he kissed her, the fire blazed hotter and fiercer than before. He pressed against her with such heat he thought he'd surely melt into her and live in her bones. She kissed him back, hungrily, her lips and teeth and tongue starving for words unsaid and kisses unkissed for years. She knotted her fingers in his hair and ran them over his chest, leaving little marks of her own. She stroked his scars with the pad of her thumb, and there was lightning in her fingertips. She moaned when he stroked that spot on her thigh, and he broke away from her mouth to kiss her there…

xXx

Summer, 171ASC
Six Months after the Equalist Revolution
Fourth Year Of Firelord Zeeri's Reign

Her breath catches, and suddenly she isn't eighty-four anymore. She is twenty-eight and he is thirty. His wife has been dead a week, his daughter is finally asleep and she is there. Tangible. Touchable. Solid. Warm. Alive. Strong. Soft. Hard. Beautiful. Fragile. Breakable. Alive. Breathing.

"Zuko, please, don't shut me out…"

He had not shut her out. He had broken his own walls, the walls he had built to protect himself from her and against his better judgement, let her in. Then, she had shut him out. Permanently.

"Why did you, Katara? Why would you come to me like, Katara?" Now that he has spoken the forbidden, he cannot stop. He doesn't want to. Ever again. "Did you know that what happened would happen, Katara? Did you plan for that, Katara? Did you imagine the depth of my emotion? My pain? My torture? Did you know that I had shut you out because of what you meant to me, Katara? Did you realise that I couldn't lose the person I loved more the anything else in the world, Katara? Did you realise that that person was you, Katara?"

KataraKataraKataraKataraKatarakatarakatarakataraka tarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakata rakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatarakatara katarakatara…

On and on and on and on. His heartbeat. His pulse. His life. His death. His hatred. His love. She was his everything. She always had been. She always would be.

"Don't so this."

It was far too late. Too long coming.

"Don't do what, Katara? Don't tell you that I loved you? That I loved you since I saw you bloodbend and cry out in the rain? Don't tell you that I loved you throughout my marriage? Don't tell you that Issa only married me so that we could keep peace, because she and Irax were actually in love and I loved you?" No more secrets. No more lies. "That I slept with her on our wedding night and never again? That her bed was with Irax?"

"Stop it…"

"That I only attended your wedding because I wanted to see you happy? That I nearly died on the same night you almost died, after telling you the story of the Blue Spirit? That I didn't want to live if you weren't alive?"

"Enough."

"No. It isn't."

"Stop it! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! That's enough! No more, no more!"

As Katara started crying, he realised that all his life he had known that this was going to happen, and that he had been afraid for a long time. But now it had grown, it had grown gigantic; it filled him and it filled the whole world. The pain started years ago, but he had lived with it for so long at that point that he had accepted it as an inevitable part of himself. She was colder by the moment; more dead to him with every breath he took. That was the fear: he had lost something important, and he cannot find it, and he needs it.

"I have the right to see her. Even if she doesn't realise what it means, she also has the right to talk to me." A flicker. More tears. "She told me that she felt a connection to me. Did you know that was what she felt?"

A choked sob. A broken keen. She is crumbling.

Why am I killing her?

"She was never close to Aang." He froze. Her voice was broken. Her voice was all the emotion she had locked away for years. "She was so much like me, but not. She was never like Aang, though. And he noticed. And every time he remarked on it, her distance or attitude, I would go cold and hot. I was shamed and proud. I never told him… and he believed all my lies." She looked up, finally meeting his eyes. "That's the most disgusting thing about it. That he believed the lies. Never suspected. Never gave a second-thought. Not Sokka. Not Toph. Not one of them thought that she wasn't his, even though she was nothing like him."

"Katara…"

"I knew, Zuko."

Time stops. Hell must be frozen over, because she has said his name. Zuko. A prayer upon broken lips. A dark whisper.

"I knew what she felt. I knew that she wanted to meet you. You were something just beyond her reach. She always asked Aang why she hadn't met his firebending Sifu. Aang always said that you were too busy. That she and I were too busy with her waterbending training. That the Fire Nation was too far away. That it still wasn't safe. I never knew why Aang never went to see you, but Spirits, every time I thought about it I would go cold. Did he know? Did he know about…?"

Silence again.

"He never knew. We just… fought. He wanted things done one way. He didn't like the way I was handling the insurgents and the Ozai supporters. I grew tired of his shit and did everything but actually tell him to fuck off," Zuko whispered.

One secret now known…

She nodded. "That's what he said, when I finally did ask. Around her tenth birthday…"

It all came back to that time.

"I only saw her twice in fifty-seven years." Suddenly, that anger was back. That hatred. That venom. That dark, twisting thing inside of him. "I only saw Kya once. From a distance. Then you separated us. I helped bring her into his world, and you took her away. Then, I saw her through glass. She was ten. I had missed so much. Then you took her away again."

Flame in the ocean. Eyes the windows to the soul. "You had Zeeri."

"And she is my everything. Zeeri is my life, my heart and my soul. But still, you wouldn't even let me say hello. Wouldn't even let me say her name. That's the thing Katara."

"You had no right."

"I had every right!"

"No you didn't! Aang raised her. He loved her. He taught her. You did nothing"

"And whose fault was that?"

She turned to leave. His heart shattered, the place that's he owned dissolving into fragments of agony. She was going to leave him again. For good.

He grabbed by her waist and spun her around, pulling her against his chest.

She pushed away.

"No Katara. You are not going to make yourself the victim. I'm not going to let you blame me anymore."

"I never blamed you, Zuko!" She screams. "That's why I kept you away!" Tears.

"It wasn't fair." His cheek feels wet. His good eye stings.

"Life isn't fair, Zuko! It hasn't been fair to you, to me, to your daughter, or to my daughter."

"She isn't your daughter…"

She cracked. He broke her and she shattered just like his heart. "Fine! Our daughter!" Heaving, violent, painful sobs. "And that's why she can never know! Because it will kill her, it will destroy the peace we worked so hard to create. It will ruin the world that we built up. It will tear the people in half. She is the catalyst to our destruction."

The sound of glass breaking. The world moves slowly. The stars gleam dully. The night is consuming. The voices fade to white. His heart evens out. His breathing stops.

A secret never to be told…

To be continued in
the House of Ruins...

Authors Note:

Look whose back from the unknown!

"I gave myself a deadline - HOUSE of CROWS finished by LEGEND OF KORRA/BOOK 2/SPIRITS PREMIERE."

So yeah. I missed the deadline (its Saturday here).

AND LEGEND OF KORRA SEASON 2 IS NOT OUT IN AUSTRALIA!

FML

Note1: I will not put my ranting's for Part 7 here, as I am adding that last chapter. So, this is the shortest AUTHORS NOTE to date. House of Ruins should be up by Sunday evening (hopefully everything goes well!).

House of Crows is: definitely different, something I have (personally) never seen before. Special thanks to author EmaniaHilel, who writes incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for (or, used to write incredible, wonderful, magical stuff for) the Teen Titans. Her Robin/Raven (BEST PAIRING EVER! Besides Zuko/Katara anyway) collections and short stories are marvellous and my INSPRIATION for this little journey.

Read & Review

- Eternity In Seconds