=Q-R-Q-R=

Chapter 4

25 days earlier…

It's been five days since that blissful incident in Quinn's room. Things had changed between us after that. Now I could tell that she held some sort of attraction to me as well. I mean, you don't just make out with friends without feeling anything for them, right? Because since that day, all I could ever think about was how her lips burned against my skin, or how her touches caused me to shiver in a good way, or how her skin felt so soft against my hands, or...how beautiful her breasts were and the way it fit just right against my palms.

And for five days since then, I would sometimes find myself being grabbed out of nowhere by strong hands, dragging me inside an empty classroom—sometimes in the janitor's closet—shoved against the wall and the next thing I knew, I was being attacked by those soft lips that had been haunting my dreams for two years. And I would reciprocate with the same enthusiasm and passion. My hands would start exploring her body, removing her top and fondling her breasts against her bra. Sometimes she would become too impatient and she would do the honor of unclasping her own bra, grab the back of my neck and shove my face on to her breasts. And my mouth would be more than happy to provide her the pleasure she was aching for. I would lightly tease her nipple with the tip of my tongue, swirling at the hard bud, coating it with my saliva. Then I would tug it between my teeth before completely wrapping my mouth around it, sucking on it hard.

"Shit, Rach. Keep doing that. Fuck."

Quinn would moan, fueling my desire to pleasure her more. It didn't matter that she never touched me the way I did her because hearing her say my name was enough to drive me insane.

Sometimes, when my sexual frustration got the best of me, I would take control. I would be the one to shove her against the wall and kiss her hard. My hands would travel down her backside, flip her skirt and squeezed her ass hard. I would hear her moan my name and she would wrap her legs around my waist. I would always find this position really hot—enough for the adrenaline rush to course through my body to gain enough strength to thrust my hips against hers. She would stop kissing me then only to tilt her head back in pleasure, biting her lip to suppress a moan. I would take this opportunity to attack her exposed neck with my lips, tongue and teeth. I was always tempted to mark her to let everybody know that this girl was taken—well, sort. But she gave me strict instructions that I was to not leave any evidence of our rendezvous.

Her words, not mine.

Her moans and groans and hisses would always be repeatedly replayed in my head and that was enough to drive me crazy and crave for more of her. Seeing her flaunting around in her Cheerio uniform was torture for me. It didn't help that she would purposely look at me from across the hall as if she wanted to eat me. Oh shit. That was a…hot thought. Now all I could ever think about was her head buried between my legs. Fuck. That would be really freaking hot. I was embarrassed to say that just the mere thought of it was already driving me to the edge. IF that happened, I didn't think I would even last long.

And she would forever be a tease to me. She just knew how to press the right buttons to drive me insane. I didn't think I could take it any longer. She was thinning my self-control and I was a little scared that I might freak her out once I lose it.

But whatever. All that matters right now was that there was chance that she felt the same way for me. I could only hope for the best.

20 days earlier…

We had not gone any further than second base but God, did I want to go further. Sometimes I would find myself holding on to her really tight, digging my nails on her skin, just so I wouldn't lose control. Not that both of us were complaining. That was probably one of those things that I would never regret. But as much as I wanted to take the next step, I needed to know where my place was first. Things were heating up between us. The tension was growing thick. The sexual attraction we felt for each other could no longer be denied—like we ever tried denying it.

But the point was—I was going crazy! The more time we spent together, the more I fell for her. I couldn't stop it anymore. It was already a lost cause. I had always been attracted to her and this—whatever this was we were doing—had only caused for those feelings to grow to the point where I couldn't rein it in anymore. We've been fooling around for two weeks now. I had to tell her how I feel. I had to know what my role was in her life. I was beginning to get addicted to her. I couldn't last a day without seeing her, without feeling those plump lips against mine, without exploring her body.

I just had to tell her. Soon. Because if I didn't, I would just explode.

17 days earlier…

I told her everything. I poured my heart out and didn't hold back. We were in her room and we were lying in her bed. We were supposed to be studying but then the next thing I knew, her lips were all over me again. I just got distracted and forgot about everything else..like always. But before things got out of control—again—I stopped her. She was pretty persistent for us to continue at first, but then I was reluctant for us not to continue. So she just huffed, crossed her arms and stared at me, irritation visible on her face.

I ignored it though. Because what I was feeling that time was too overwhelming to be intimidated by her. I could see her growing impatient so I just started talking. And I watched her facial expression turned from annoyed to curious to surprised to stoic (which really scared me) then finally, it relaxed. Then she smiled at me. And I felt shiver ran through my body—in a not so good way.

I didn't know why that was because her smile usually made me melt, not creep me out. But for some reason, I was scared. There was something malicious in that smile. My instinct was kicking and for once, I wished it wasn't strong. She must have sensed my discomfort because then, her demeanor changed. This time, her usual heart melting smile was what I saw and she was crawling towards me. Her hazel eyes landed on mine and all I could do was stared at it

"Tomorrow," she told me and I got confused, "I will tell you my answer tomorrow when we meet for our lunch date in the auditorium."

I was so weirded out that I forgot I asked her how she felt about me. I was still a little out of it that I only nodded and then we were making out again. All my doubts were thrown out the window.

16 days earlier…

I was really anxious the today that I had a hard time concentrating in my class. Today was the day that Quinn Fabray would give me her answer. I felt like a convict anxiously waiting for my sentence. I flew out of the classroom once the last period before lunch was over. I half-ran, half-walked towards the auditorium. Once I reached the back door, I felt a chill run through my body. My heart was ramming against my chest. The feeling was really scary and uncomfortable.

I have no idea why I felt that way all of a sudden and it only intensified once I stepped inside. It was dark except for the small lights in the corner. Quinn was nowhere to be found and I had no idea why everything felt so wrong. I looked around and saw that I was, in fact, alone. I shook my head when I realized that I was being ridiculous. Maybe I was just nervous about this whole Quinn thing. I had all sorts of reason to be freaked out after all.

Walking further inside the room, I sat on the piano bench and lift the cover, exposing the ivory keys that I missed so much. Since Quinn and I started spending lunch together, I never had the chance to play and sing as much as I used to. Every time I came here, Quinn would already be sitting at the edge of the stage, waiting for me. I didn't know how she was able to beat me every single time since I would always come running straight here. So in the two and a half months that Quinn and I were friends, I never got the chance to showcase my talent. That needed to change. Maybe if things went well, I could sing something for her.

Feeling my body relaxed at the thought, I positioned my fingers on the piano keys, starting a familiar melody.

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes: and leap!

A smiled made its way on my lips. I missed this. Other than Kurt, this piano here was my best friend. I would always vent out my frustrations or any emotions I had through songs and this piano witnessed as I cried, laughed or simply sat down in silence.

It's time to try defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

I'm through acc—

I stopped playing. I thought I saw some movements in the dark. The rapid beating of my heart returned. I had a bad feeling about this. I looked around but saw nothing unusual. What was wrong with me today?

There it was again. This time I was sure. There were shadows moving around the dark. I could feel my senses heightened in alarm. My hands were beginning to sweat in nervousness. Where the hell was Quinn? She was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. And yet, my only companion was some creepy shadows that had somehow disappeared again.

My head snapped when I heard the door of the auditorium opened and relief washed through me. I got confused though because it was the main door and not the back door. Quinn never used the main door. A frown formed on my face. Something was terribly wrong in this scenario.

My fear reached the highest limit when I noticed four Cheerios walking down the hall, and then from the dark, three football jocks emerged from the dark, each of them holding sluhies in both hands. I didn't recognize any of them, except for one of the jocks. He was the same guy that I saw harassing Brittany a few weeks ago.

I stepped back slowly, already planning my exit. Well, there's only one available actually. The back door. All I had to do was turn around and run for my life. And just as I was about to do just that, I felt strong hands on my shoulder. I squeaked and pivoted my body to see who it was.

It was Quinn, and behind her were Santana and Brittany.

I should have been relieved. But then I looked in to her eyes. It was emotionless. Dead. I looked over her shoulders to see Santana wearing a mask of indifference, looking straight but never at me. Brittany looked solemn and even against the dark; I could sense that she was crying.

Oh God. What the fuck was going on?

"Q-Quinn..."

"Rachel," her voice was cold, distant. I couldn't recognize it. What happened to that warm, angelic voice? Who was this person holding me? This wasn't Quinn. Not my Quinn. And then the realization felt like cold water against my body.

This person standing in front of me was not my Quinn.

This person was the infamous Head Bitch In Charge. The Ice Queen. Fucking Head Cheerio.

"Do you seriously think I would ever want to be with you? Seriously?" Quinn said quietly that only I could hear but her voice was full of hatred, "You're a freak! Why would I ever want to have anything to do with you?"

And with that she threw me against the waiting arms of the wolves. I could feel their eagerness to tear me apart and I had never been this scared in my life. I was still staring at the now cold hazel eyes, void of any emotion. I watched as she stepped back, turned around and walked away, leaving me alone to fend for myself. I was too shock to move. Too broken to care that I didn't register the multiple slushies that was thrown on my face, nor the warm, sticky, red liquid that was poured on my head. I soon realized it was actually blood and I felt sick to my stomach.

Once they were done laughing and mocking me, they left and I was alone again. I stood there motionless. Frozen. None of this was true. No. It couldn't be. This was just one fucked up nightmare. I would wake up any minute now and Quinn would be there to comfort me.

"Oh my God! Rachel!"

"What the fuck!"

And then I broke down right there and then, those voices only made me believed what I was trying so hard to deny. This was real. Two sets of arms engulfed me. Puck and Kurt. I felt them catch me as I slowly slid down the floor, tears streaming down my face, my hand covering my mouth in attempt to muffle my sobs.

This was real. Quinn Fabray was gone. A part of me had died that day.

Present

I woke up with a start. I had been having the same nightmare every day. The events of that day haunting me. And I was just so tired about it. I felt like such a sore loser.

But today, that was going to change. I promised myself last night. This was going to be the last time that I would wake up in tears and last night would be the last of those nightmares. I got up from bed and walked towards the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked awful and I blame her for doing this to me. I proceeded to wash my face and brushed my teeth.

Once again, I stared at the mirror and there, staring back at me was a broken girl. And once again, I promised myself that this was also going to be the last time that she would see this girl in the mirror. With that in mind, my eyes transformed from sad and broken to determined with renewed vigor. Walking to my room, I took my phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Kurt? Are you busy today? I was hoping that your offer of a makeover was still open?"

Author's Note:

I'm sorry for the very late update. I had so much going on right now. I am already writing the next update for my other fic, Heaven. So if you are a reader of that fic, don't worry. Next chapter is on its way.

As for this fic, I'm not yet sure where this story is going so any ideas would be so much appreciated.

Thank you for reading. Dropping me a review would be nice as well. Until the next chapter!