I have not updating this in FOREVER! I am so, so sorry (believe me). I just had a hard time keeping track of this story and starting IHM but I am back on track and hopping back onto the writing bandwagon. I should be updating more regularly so no worries also I should have a new chapter of IHM up soon. Hope you enjoy this chapter and leave a review, enjoy! :)

"I'm sorry."

April nods her head slowly and she licks her lips as she sways in the chair beside the bed.

The woman lay in the bed closes her eyes for a moment and leans her head back softly in the pillows. She takes a deep breath and continues to speak, "I'm sorry, April. If I could go back, and tell you about my condition before any of this happened, then I would. I'm sorry."

The redhead beside her sighs, "Stop saying you're sorry. Please." She shakes her head and glances over at her elder sister, "I get it. I get that you're sorry, but I just can't hear you say it again because I might actually go crazy if you do."

Libby remains silent, sending her a short smile, her eyes still firmly closed.

They sit in a tense silence for a couple of minutes, each sister enjoying the peace and pondering their thoughts.

"I'm sorry."

It's April that breaks the silence this time.

"April, this isn't anybody's fault. And, if you don't want my apologies, then I definitely don't want yours." She opens her eyes again and peeks down at the younger Kepner. She holds her hand out over the side of the bed when she notices the tears swelling in April's eyes. "Hey, don't cry."

April hiccups, chewing down on her bottom lip and avoiding her gaze. "I can't help it."

"Stop crying."

"Lib-"

She hushes her and sways their hands back and forth with a slight grin, "Stop crying." She blinks back her own tears, "I'm fine now, alright? That Shepherd guy sorted me out. I'm all better."

"He said there were some complications." April argues but Libby brushes off the comment.

"He also said that I should be completely recovered within a couple of days." She reminds her, tapping her fingers against her sister's hand and catching her attention, "I'm going to be fine, so please don't cry. If you start crying, then I probably will, too. So, don't."

April slightly laughs, sending her a quick smile. She stands up then, moving over onto the edge of the bed and laying down beside her. Libby slightly shifts, careful to not apply pressure on the bandages wrapped around her skull. It still aches painfully but she ignores the agony and wraps an arm around April's shoulders as she rests comfortably at her side.

"So," Libby starts, stroking through April's hair softly. "How's Seattle?"

She smiles, a bashful grin on her face. "It's great."

"Better than Moline?"

"Definitely."

April breathes out deeply, rejoicing in her sister's presence. They haven't spoken in such a long time, or seen in each other in months, and it's a different setting then when they were young girls back in Ohio talking about school and crushes.

"Any cute guys?"

Okay, maybe it wasn't all that different.

"There... might be."

Libby smirks and taps her arm teasingly, "Tell me."

"Lib, you're married!" She frowns and looks up at the older woman. "Where is Brian anyway?"

She shrugs her shoulders slowly, "We're not together anymore."

April gasps, sitting up and tucking her hair behind her ears, "What happened?"

Libby rolls her eyes, "We're getting a divorce, it's not the end of the world. This past year just hasn't been good for us."

"Is it because you're ill?"

"No! Brian was amazing throughout this whole thing. He was the one taking me to all of my appointments, he was my rock. But, you know, we just drifted apart, but it had nothing to do with me being sick."

"Well then, why are you getting a divorce? You were so perfect for each other."

The older Kepner smiles, "Just because someone is perfect for you doesn't mean that they're what you need to survive. I mean, I love him and I probably always will. But I fell out of love with him, April. It happens."

"They didn't teach us that in Sunday School."

Libby laughs and pats her knee as she tilts her head to the side and raises a brow, "There are a lot of things they don't teach us in Sunday School."

April blushes and licks her lips as she nods slowly, glancing down at her lap.

"So, tell me about this guy..." Libby probes, poking April's leg with the tip of her finger. She smirks at the flustered look on her sister's face and urges her on, "Spill. I need a little entertainment while I'm in here."

"Entertainment?"

"I'm stuck in a hospital bed. If I can't go anywhere, then I'm gonna help my little Applecake get her freak on."

April gently taps her arm with a shocked look on her face, "Lib!"

"We're grown women, April. We can talk about these things."

The redhead fidgets and claps her hands together in her lap. She chews on her lip before speaking, "It's not right to think about... those things."

"Are you having dirty dreams about this guy?!" She fakes a gasp and grins, "Applecake, what has happened to you?"

April giggles, "Shut up! I'm not having-" She scratches the back of her neck and carefully looks up at her, "Okay, I might have had a couple. But, I can't help it. You've seen the guy, his face is amazing! And his lips are so soft and I love his hands and-"

"Holy shit! Is it that really hot doctor guy who helped Shepherd cut my brain open?"

"Yeah." She blushes again and Libby smiles, "Yeah, it's him, and I just wanna rip his pants off and let him take me."

Libby giggles, "I say go for it."

"Seriously?!"

"Yeah. I mean, you only live once, right? Besides, why wait around for Prince Charming when you can have the forbidden fruit?"

"But I- I can't do that! I wasn't- Did you- Did you, you know, do it, before you got married?" She pries.

"Well, we had sex like two days before the wedding, but I definitely wasn't celibate."

April's eyes widen, "You had sex before you got married?!"

"Look, as your big sister, I feel like it's up to me to tell you this. Just- Don't wait. I definitely felt like crap for a while and I prayed a lot, and I went to confession almost every day but then I realized that no amount of apologizing or begging was going to make me feel better. So, I made peace with it, and I'm glad that I did. I'm happy that I didn't wait for my wedding, April. I'm happy because I lost it to a guy that I cared about and wanted to be close with, and I don't regret it. I'm happy that it wasn't Brian, because maybe then I never would have moved on from him. You don't forget your first time, Applecake, so if you like this guy, then I say you should do it. Jesus isn't going to hate you for wanting to feel good." She grins and strokes a hand over her younger sister's hair again, "And by the looks of him, I'm thinking it might feel pretty good."

"Lib!"

"What? If you won't have him, I will!"

April giggles before slowly nodding her head and leaning back down onto the comfy bed. "Okay, you need to rest."

"Says you! You're the only falling asleep."

"I'm just taking a sympathy nap."

Libby laughs and closes her eyes, gently resting her head back against the pillows as April lays across her stomach, "Goodnight, Applecake."

"So, how goes the sister?" Yang slides her tray across the lunch table and throws her legs over the bench swiftly as she takes a seat.

Jackson glances up, opposite her. He swallows his food and shrugs, "She's good, I think. I don't know, I haven't been to check on her yet."

Cristina picks at her meal, stabbing the plastic fork through the spaghetti viciously, "Maybe you should go and see how she's doing."

"She's my patient, Yang. I think I know when you check on her."

She rolls her eyes and stuffs the pasta in her mouth, "I meant Kepner. Our Kepner."

"Our Kepner?"

"Yeah, the crazy redhead who calls herself a doctor and wants to shove her hands down your pants. Our Kepner." She explains, a grin on her face when she watches him pause.

"She- She doesn't wanna-"

"Trust me, Pretty Boy. She wants the D, but Baby has never had the D so she doesn't know how to ask for it. Give her the D."

Jackson frowns and throws a fry over at her, "I'm done talking to you."

She chuckles and throws it back at him, "Whatever, I'm just trying to help you out but obviously you'd prefer to just fantasize about all that crazy."

"She's not crazy."

"She's a twenty-seven year-old virgin. She's crazy." She tells him and raises a brow with a smirk.

He ignores her comment and glances up as Alex takes a seat next to him.

Alex angrily twists the lid off of his bottle of water and takes a huge sip before slamming it back down with a huff.

"Is Evil Spawn having a bad day?"

"Screw you, Yang." He stabs his pasta with his fork as she did and twists it around before hurriedly forcing the food through his mouth.

Jackson stares at him, "What's up your ass?"

He groans and glares at the man beside him, "Shut up. I'm having a crap day, alright. Whatever." He shrugs it off and shoves down some more spaghetti as he slouches in his seat and kicks his legs out.

"Oh, boo hoo." Cristina pouts and pretends to wipe her eyes, "We all have bad days, Karev, deal with it. Besides, you think your day is bad? Avery over here can't even get it up."

"Yang-"

She smirks and continues, "I think the Virgin Mary is withholding the V."

"We're done talking about this."

Alex smirks then, holding out his fork with a chuckle as he eyes Jackson, "Dude, you still haven't done it? Stop wasting my time, I want my money." He swallows down some more pasta before continuing, "Or are you backing out already?"

"I'm not backing out of anything." Jackson reassures him, sending a quick grin as he leans back confidently.

"You ain't got feelings for her yet?" Alex quips with a curious look.

He fails the notice the brief unease on Jackson's face before he replies, "Nope."

Part of him keeps forgetting that this is all supposed to be a game between them, a sick and twisted game to earn a little money and prove each other wrong.

But he's not giving up.

Yeah, he's kind of, almost, maybe, potentially feeling something for her, but he tries his best to brush the sensation aside and focus on their bet, to focus on winning.

He can't fall for her, he can't love her as anything more than a friend. And he doesn't, he knows that much, he doesn't love her as anything more than a friend. That's all she is to him, a very good friend who he feels very close to and wants to spend a very large amount of time with, but it's not because he feels something special towards her. Definitely not.

And he tries to convince himself that he doesn't want her that way. Beneath him and craving, aching and wailing for him. He tells himself that it's only because she's so innocent, and nice, and barely touched, that he wants to corrupt her, to take her to the carnival and never look back.

"What you thinking 'bout?" Alex tries with a grin, stabbing Jackson's arm with his plastic white fork.

He shakes his head and shrugs it off, "Nothing. I, uh- I'm gonna go check on my patient." He stands up and quickly grabs his tray.

Say 'hi' to Kepner for me!" Cristina shouts after him as he leaves the room, depositing his tray onto the pile beside the door.

He ignores her and carries on down the hallway, checking his pager for any forgotten messages before he slips into an elevator. The doors close behind him as he presses the button for the sixth floor and he steps into the back of the lift, leaning his head against the grey wall. Alone with his thoughts, he closes his eyes and sighs a heavy breath.

What the hell is he getting himself into?

His eyes flicker as the door slides open on the second floor and the devil appears.

"Hey."

She sounds perkier than before and she smiles over at him as she doors close.

April turns around, her back facing him as she glances down at her feet. She tilts her head to the side and frowns, "I spoke to Libby." She starts and bites into her bottom lip as she waits for a reply.

He lifts his head and stares at her back, "Yeah?"

She nods quietly, remaining in place as the elevator lights up on the third floor. The doors remain shut and they head up to the fourth, a comfortable silence falling between the pair.

He takes an alarming step closer to her, coming to a stop behind her body. His breath dangerously close to her skin of her neck, she closes her eyes and chews deeper on her lip.

"April."

She's not fully certain of what she's doing when her hand flies forward and slams against the STOP button, bring them to a halt on the fourth floor. She doesn't move or turn to face him, she just stands with her back to him, letting her shoulders drop when he rests his hands on her hips. She can smell the mint flavour pouring from his mouth when he breathes against her skin, leaning down and placing a kiss at the base of her neck.

She lets out a sharp breath, slipping her hands into the pockets of her coat and allowing her eyes to close as he continues kiss her skin. His left hand circles around her waist and pulls her back tightly to his chest, and his right hand grasps her hair in his hold softly as he drags it to the side to gain easier access to her naked skin.

When he slides a hand down the front of her scrubs and grips her waist roughly, she melts back against his body, "Jackson."

He doesn't respond, instead he opts to spin her around and grab her behind as he lifts her up. She gasps and hastily wraps her legs around his waist, dropping her hands to the sides of his face delicately.

April feels her back slam against the elevator wall, and she grips his shoulders tight when he takes ahold of the backs of her thighs and steps closer between her legs, if possible. "Oh, God." She shuts her eyes and cups his face again, smashing her lips down against his as she feels him jam further into her, his obvious erection pressing against the inside of her leg.

He shifts comfortably and groans into her mouth when she bites his lip, her teeth sharply making him bleed. Jackson pulls away briefly and smirks as he inspects the inside of his battered lip.

She blushes and rests her hands on the sides of his neck, "Sorry." She softly apologizes, running a hand up and down his chest and biting into her own lip anxiously.

He stares up at her through his lashes with a grin, and he gingerly laughs, "It's actually quite hot." He tells her and brings his hands back down to grasp the backs of her thighs. April rests her fingertips on the edges of his pants when he crashes his mouth back down on hers, tugging at the backs of her knees to bring her closer.

Her hands tug on the strings of his scrubs and she lets her mouth drop open when he traces his lips down her neck to her shoulder. He pushes her lab coat aside and pulls on the material of her top to reach her bare skin.

"Wait-"

April stops him, placing her hands against his muscled chest,.

"I, uh-" She licks her lips breathlessly and stares up into his green eyes longingly. "I want this."

He tells himself to stop her, to change her mind, but a smile works its way onto his face and he can't help it, "Yeah?"

She nods slowly, suckling down on her lower lip, "Yeah. I, uh- I want this. I want you. But not in an elevator."

He laughs and drops his head to her shoulder, placing a soft kiss onto her bra strap. "Okay."

No. It shouldn't be okay.