Chapter Twenty Seven

A/N: Thank you to Gerda13 and Nevaeh -Rose Malfoy for reviewing the last chapter.

September rolled around again with a chill in the air, so cold that the glass of the Hogwarts Express frosted white, the outside world little more than shadows rolling by at lightning speed. Still, Narcissa watched the landscape from her comfortable seat in the carriage, half-heartedly trying to force her eyes to fix on a tree or distant house before they disappeared once more. After all, it was the only thing she had to do, given that she sat in her compartment alone.

It was difficult not to think of the last time she had sat on this train, Lucius across from her. He had joked and she had laughed. It was a side of him that few had been privileged enough to see. And perhaps it had been a lie.

The sting of tears in her eyes only added to her frustration. 'Don't cry for him.' Narcissa told herself, and the voice in her mind sounded uncannily like her mother. 'If he did this to you, he's not worth your tears. And if he didn't, then you don't have any reason to be crying. Don't bolt before the starting gun; you don't know what happened.'

But no matter how many times her logical mind tried to convince her, it did not make the pain any less. The fact remained that Lucius had known of the arrangement far longer than she had, and in all the opportunities he had had, no matter his motivations, he had never told her.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she did not hear the compartment door slide open, or glimpse the figure closing the door behind him. It was only when she heard the boy clear his throat that Narcissa realised she was no longer alone. It did not take her long to deduce who had come to speak with her.

"I don't have anything to say to you." the girl sighed, her eyes still fixed on the window. She could not even bear to look over her shoulder.

The seat sagged a little under the boy's weight, unsurprisingly; from his sigh, it seemed he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was difficult to remind herself not to pity him.

"I should have told you." Lucius stated with a heavy heart. At least he would not argue against that. "But we were getting along so well, we were so happy… I suppose I just thought that, if it was going to end up the same way anyway, it didn't make a difference whether or not you knew."

"But Lucius, that's not the point." Narcissa all but hissed, flipping her head to face him so quickly that her long hair barely missed searing his cheek. Her frustration was beginning to bubble over, but she did not have the heart to control herself any longer. Besides, it was better to snap at him than bawl her eyes out in front of him. It was a kind of vulnerability she could not bring herself to show, not now. "I have to marry you, it isn't my choice. You let me believe I had control over an aspect of my life that has been snatched away from me completely. You betrayed me."

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, I don't have a choice in this either." There was a sharp edge of annoyance to Lucius' tone, and it made Narcissa seethe. Why did he have a right to be angry, when he was the one who had lied to her face all this time? "I was meant to marry Andromeda. I never wanted to, but my father decided it was the most appropriate match. Then I met you… it was the first time I was grateful he'd been so stubborn."

"That doesn't make it any better, Lucius." Narcissa complained, but her voice was quiet now, resigned. Lucius might not have heard her over the distant sounds of younger years messing around in other compartments, had he not been hanging on her every word. "You let me down."

The blond boy fell silent, all of his arguments exhausted, and Narcissa turned back to the window. It had begun to rain, the small droplets tracing lines through the fogged window. Usually, she did not mind nature's ironies, but not when she was struggling so hard to keep her own tears at bay.

The seat groaned once more as Lucius pulled himself to his feet, hovering above her in a manner less confident than she had ever imagined he could be. Lucius was the image of confidence, even arrogance much of the time, but now he seemed no more than a little boy.

"I did mean what I said in the letter." Lucius' voice was almost quieter than Narcissa's. The young woman raised her head a little to prove that she was listening, though she still could not bring herself to look him in the eye. If she saw his eyes, she would trust him again, and that was too much of a risk to take just yet. "If we can find a way to get out of this arrangement, to break the contract between the families, then I will support you through all of it. That way, we can do whatever we want, move forward on our terms."

Narcissa wanted to laugh with joy. In all those years she and Lucius had grown closer, somewhere in the back of her mind she had been waiting for this moment, waiting for the time when they would tell each other that this was more than just a first love. Now, here he was, all but proposing marriage to her… and she did not want it anymore.

"Lucius, I'm sorry…" she sighed. It was the truth, however little she wanted to admit it. "But I doubt there is a way for us to move forward. This is it now. There isn't an us anymore, and I don't think there ever will be."

Lucius let out a shuddering sigh, the trembling sound a child might make when they teetered on the edge of tears. Immediately, Narcissa regretted the harshness of her words, and she turned to look her former boyfriend in the eye.

All that was left of him was the open compartment door, the faint smell of sandalwood, and a few droplets of water on the fabric of the seat beside her.

A/N: So, it all got a bit angsty! This isn't the best chapter I've ever done, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. This is not going to be an easy hurdle to overcome for these two, but do they still want to overcome it at all? Please review!