Author: pandora1017
Rating: PG-13
Content: Slash, language
Characters: [Who I don't own, dagummit!]
Jay = Jay Reso = Christian
Jeff = Jeff Hardy
Adam = Adam Copeland = Edge
Randy = Randy Orton
Matt = Matt Hardy
Amy = Amy Dumas = Lita
Nora = Nora Greenwald = Molly Holly
Trish = Trish Stratig-something-or-other = Trish Stratus
.
"That's so fucking gross."
I looked up to Adam, mid-bite of pizza, surprised. He nodded slightly and gestured with his beer bottle to the bar's dance floor. I set the rest of the too greasy slice of pizza back down on my plate and followed his gaze. Not that I had to. He was referring to how Jeff Hardy was practically grinding on the dance floor with that new kid, Randy Orton. Maybe he was referring to the vulgar dancing itself. Maybe he was referring to how Jeff hadn't known that kid for more than a week or so. Maybe he was referring to -
"Fucking faggots."
Nope, he was referring to that. I grunted ambivalently, grateful that the mouthful of pizza gave me a chance to not respond. Adam didn't care, he was too busy being disgusted by Jeff. He took a swig of his beer and continued. "Fucking freaks me out when I have to job to him. You never know, he could, like, feel you up, and you just have to lay there."
I washed down the gross pizza with a drink of beer, deciding I was finished eating in order to prevent an evening of worshipping the porcelain god. Adam, on the other hand, wasn't paying any attention to me, so he didn't notice me flinching slightly when he spoke. How was I supposed to tell him that I actually kind of liked laying down for Jeff?
"You gonna eat that?" he asked, abruptly changing the topic and pointing to the pizza I'd pushed away from me.
"No," I muttered. If Adam wasn't so thickheaded, he might have noticed a long time ago that I was a 'fucking faggot' as well. Adam, who was now inhaling that nasty pizza fast enough to make me sick just by watching, had always been straight as an arrow and vocally homophobic. Based on that, I had decided to not tell him back in college when I realized that I had a crush on him. I had gotten over that in time, thank God, by realizing that hell would freeze over before Adam would let me survive telling him that. I had moved on.
To Jeff.
Not that I could do anything about that, either. I'd been through a lot of shit in my life, and the only thing that I'd always had was Adam. When kids in school picked on me for being a dork, Adam had always chased them off. When my parents kicked me out of their house, Adam had let me move into his apartment. Adam had gotten me into Sully's Gym, so we could be the big wrestling superstars we now were. Adam had been there on those cold nights after we'd done a show in the Northwest Territories and had no where else to sleep but the school gym floors, using each others' body heat to prevent hypothermia. Ha, if he'd known then that I was gay, we both would have froze to death on some Indian reservation.
So now there was Jeff. Jeff was unbelievable fascinating. It was almost like I could talk to him forever and never get bored. He was interested in everything. I suppose if I wanted to, I could go see if Jeff was interested in me, but that would mean risking my friendship with Adam. Bros before hos, right? Of course, Adam could go hit on any girl in the joint and not worry about risking our friendship. If I even thought about shacking up with a guy... Adam would flip. It wasn't worth it.
"Hey, you all right, man?"
"What?" I asked, realizing I'd been staring off into space and snapping my attention back to Adam. "Um, yeah."
"What's so interesting on that beer label?" Adam asked with a toothy grin that used to drive me up the walls.
"D'ja know that Fosters is imported from Canada?" I asked, pretending that I had actually been reading the label on my beer bottle.
"I thought that was that Australian shit."
"Nope," I read, "'imported from Canada'."
"Huh," Adam said, shrugging. Then he smiled. "Bored?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go back to the hotel," he decided. "Before those guys make me sick."
"Sure," I nodded, not making eye contact. Pulling some money out of my pocket, I dropped it on the table. Adam did the same, then started to the door. I sighed at Adam's back, then cast one last glance at Jeff. He was still dancing with Randy, but, if my brain wasn't playing tricks on me, I could have sworn that he was watching Adam and me as we left.
"You coming?" Adam asked.
"Yeah," I answered again, quickly turning back and following Adam out.
"You all right, Jay?" Adam asked me suddenly as we left the pounding music behind us and stepped into the cool summer night. I sighed, taking in the clean air greedily after that thick bar smoke. Adam had fallen in step with me, I found, and I looked up to him. He had pretty green eyes that were currently watching me with concern. Callous as he could be, he still had his moments of being a decent, caring human being, I reminded myself with a slight smile.
"Yeah, I'm just feeling a little sick. I think it was the pizza."
"The pizza wasn't that bad."
"This coming from the man who holds a record in that disgusting dive in Sarnia for eating the most anchovies they could pile on a pizza..."
"Dude," Adam started grinning, "you know what I could really go for now?"
"Don't say it, I'm already feeling sick."
Adam laughed and started the rental SUV as I was still climbing in. "Man, that was nothing compared to setting the record at that Mexican joint in SoCal for most..."
I cut Adam off with mock gagging noises.
"Fine, fine. You stick to your rice cakes and celery sticks or whatever it is that you eat and I'll enjoy my food."
"Just 'cause I drink a light beer every once in a while -"
"Health nut."
"Fine. Enjoy your heart attacks."
Adam laughed again as we pulled out of the parking lot.
-
There was absolutely nothing on T.V. I knew this for a fact because I had flipped through all the channels about five thousand times.
"Dork chop, stop it."
I looked back to Adam, surprised. "Dork chop?"
He glowered at me over the top of his book. "Put down the remote, Jay, before I break it."
I smiled to myself and turned off the T.V.
"You sure you're all right, man?" he asked again, closing his finger in his book.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I just need some air. I'm going for a walk." I pushed myself off the bed. Maybe a walk would help clear my head. I needed to get rid of that picture of Jeff that was engrained in my head. Those curious hazel eyes, the ever-changing hair color, the cute dimples that make him seem even younger than he already is... I needed some air.
"You want company?" Adam asked, genuinely concerned. The last thing I needed while trying to figure out what to do about Jeff was Adam.
"Nah, thanks. Go ahead and get some sleep. I'll be back soon," I informed him, grabbing my room key and slipping on some sandals.
"Um, ok," he answered, hesitantly. I flashed him my best attempt at a smile, but I knew it came out weak. "Hey, Jay?"
I looked back at him as I reached the door. "Yeah?"
"I was just kidding about that celery thing."
I laughed. "I appreciate that, but if you eat my rice cakes before I get back..."
Adam laughed slightly, then knitted his brow pensively. "You don't really eat...?"
I decided to let him figure that one out on his own as I left with a smile.
Well, I'd successfully gotten away from Adam. Now what? There wasn't much to do in a hotel but sleep and I knew I wouldn't be able to do that for a while. I guess I could go down to the lobby and veg. Good a plan as any, I guess. Before I got there, though, I found the pool. It was still open, actually, despite the fact that it was almost two a.m., and there was someone in there.
Jeff, as it turned out.
I had to double check, but, yes, Jeff Hardy was doing swantons into the hotel pool at two a.m. all by himself.
My will power did put up a valiant fight, but I successfully stomped it into the ground and went in to talk to Jeff. Yes, yes, I am weak. But he's so damn cute. I almost decided to not talk to him at the last minute, as he climbed out of the pool and jumped again, but my feet just seemed to keep going towards him.
"Jeff?" I asked as he finally emerged from the water once more.
He turned to me, surprised, then smiled and swam to the edge of the pool. "Hey, Jay, what's goin' on?"
"Not much," I admitted, then smiled and croutched next to the pool. "What the hell are you doing?"
Jeff shrugged with a smile. "Ah got bored. Matt went t' sleep, but Ah wasn't tired."
"So you decided to practice wrestling moves?"
Jeff just smiled, then pushed himself up on the ledge and got out of the pool.
"Not that there's anything wrong with that," I added, getting up quickly should Jeff decide to push me in. "I didn't mean to stop you."
He smiled at me again and went over to a plastic table to pick up a white towel. I followed him to the table sat down in a plastic chair on the side of it. Jeff methodically dried himself off, starting with his back, down to his feet, then finally his blue hair. I hoped I wasn't drooling.
"It's all right. Ah've been doin' this f' like an hour already," he shrugged.
"Swantons?" I asked, surprised. That won me another grin.
"Swimmin'," he corrected, sitting down kitty-corner from me. "What brings y' down here?"
"Bored," I shrugged. "I was looking for something to do, and then I saw you in here."
I flinched internally. Well, that sounded bad. Jeff grinned. "Yeah?"
"...and I figured I could talk to you." Heh, nice cover, Jay. Of course, the look Jeff was giving me now made it seem as though he didn't quite buy it. There was something very appealing about the lazy way he was leaning back in his chair combined with the cool, steady stare and the damp blue hair just barely resting on his shoulders. Dammit, Jay, don't gawk.
"Actually, Jay, there's somethin' Ah've been meanin' t' talk t' you about f' a while," Jeff leaned forward in his chair and smiled at me.
Please, God, don't let my voice crack. "Yeah?"
"Ah don't know if y' noticed, but Ah've been watchin' y' lately."
Breathe, breathe. I smiled hesitantly. "Jeff, I -"
"Ah think Ah like you."
Well, my jaw was moving. It was trying to speak. But nothing came out. Jeff grinned at me.
"Look, Jeff, I'm really flattered, but I don't -"
"Don't give me that bullshit," he cut me off, still grinning. "Ah know y' like me, too. Ah've been watchin' you watchin' me."
I blushed. Subtlety had never been one of my strong points. But I couldn't have Jeff. Adam would find out sooner or later and I would loose my best friend. I got up quickly. This had been a bad idea. I shouldn't have come talk to Jeff. Before I could take a step, though, Jeff had jumped up, too, and blocked my way. He was taller than me, and I was forced to look up to meet his eyes. They were just as nice as the last time I checked, I found. That was right about when he closed them and leaned down me. Oh, hell, there was no way I could skip this chance. Even with my eyes closed, I managed to find his face with one hand, and I ran my fingers along the curve of his jaw. He took my face in one of his hands, as well, and pulled my waist towards him with the other. This was the first time I'd kissed a man, after God only knows how many years of longing.
It was worth the wait.
His taste, how his tongue toyed with mine, how he felt, pressed up against me... very satisfying. After an all too short kiss that could have lasted another ten minutes with no complaint from either side, Jeff finally let go of me. I was surprised to find that I had to catch my breath. Jeff watched me with an equally satisfied smile on his face. His chest was rising and falling with deep breaths, too. "What were y' sayin'?"
My smile fell abruptly with the reminder of Adam. "It's not that simple, Jeff."
He watched me once more, a confused look on his face. "What's not?"
"I have to go," I admitted, grudgingly.
Jeff frowned. "Look, Jay, Ah don't understand what th' problem is. Ah think we should be t'gether."
I looked up at Jeff, smiling softly. I would have to figure this out later, I couldn't say no to him. "Ok."
His eyebrows jumped up, surprised. I took one of his hands, and we met for another short kiss. Short being a relative term, of course. When we finally let go again, Jeff had a confused smile on his face.
"'Night, Jeff," I smiled, and turned away to go back to my room.
"Wait, Jay, Ah -..." He stopped abruptly as I turned to face him. He looked confused, but that dissolved quickly and he smiled back to me. "'Night, Jay."
Leaving the pool area, I prayed that my heart would stop pounding before I got back to the room. I also hoped Adam would be asleep. I got lucky on the second count, as Adam was out like a light. I went into the bathroom and checked my reflection. Why yes, yes, I was grinning like a moron. Taking a couple deep breaths, I finally slowed my heart rate, too. That, unfortunately, didn't do anything to loose the grin.
Ah, I knew how to fix that. I thought about Adam and the grin vanished. What the hell would he do when he found out that, not only was I gay, but I was hooked up with Jeff? He wouldn't find out, I decided. I couldn't tell him. I don't know how I would keep him from finding out, but I knew that I had to. Adam could not find out. I mused over how I could keep the fact that I was finally in love from my best friend as I went through my pre-sleep routine, but ended up crawling into bed with no solution.