How yah doing everyone? (^-^*) So while my Okita x Kagura x Kamui work is being processed, I'd like to share this fanfic with you guys.

This is mostly inspired by Gintama's 14th ending, 'Wo Ai Ni '.

And who do you think would most likely say this line and to whom? （￣ー￣）(Alright, Gintoki x Kagura and Kamui x Kagura fans must want to have my head right now (TwT)

For Kagura, having to abide by the traditions of her Yato heritage is a titanic nightmare and if she had to come clean, she'd rather die than have to succumb to such unsightly ways.

But of course, just like any other girl out there she'd at least had once in her life, desired for true love and happy endings.

And fortunately, that flame is still burning brightly.

So despite that fact that it is, indubitably considered as a practice of her clan, she'd execute it willingly in order to transform that dream into reality.

She'd profess her perpetual love and demand of marriage to the apple of her eye, in the way of the Yato.

Mami had always told her; when she was just a mini munchkin that no matter what happens, she should follow this method since it would precisely show her genuine affections for her chosen mate.

But this had to be done, only in due time.

And she believes that that moment has finally loomed over her, now that she'd reached the age of 18.

So on that fateful morning, she had risen quite early and had everything in gear.

Instead of donning her usual apparel, which was her powder pink, mini Chinese dress she had opted to equip the one in which she'd only utilize during her long travels.

The scarlet, sleeveless midriff top that had been embellished with golden linings had accentuated her toned torso nicely. Along with the high-slit skirt of the same color, it exhibited a pair of legs that can surely kick with guaranteed death.

She fumbled with her tan hued scarf then hastily reached for her parasol, prepared to enter the war zone but of course, without uttering a hushed 'I'll be going out for a while, Gin-chan' to her guardian who was still slumbering, completely unaware of her little scheme.

This is it; the day has finally arrived when she, Kagura would finally become a woman!

With passion blazing vibrantly in the contrasting shade of her eyes, she strode through the streets of Edo.

Its population eyed her with alarmed stares but most of the male percentage had a mixture of lust in their beady ogles.

Without much effort though, she had located her target, which was currently attempting to slice Hijikata's head off just like a watermelon.

"You, Okita Sougo or better known as Prince of the Planet of the Sadists/Bakaiser/tax robber, I challenge you to a special duel that will determine your and my destiny!" Her purple armament was pointed directly to his unfazed face, his hands still grasping his katana while Hijikata was just planted on the ground and held an 'Oh-just-bloody-fucking-great' expression.

"What the hell is up with that, China? Did Hijibaka-san's mayonnaise also rape your brain that you can't even think of a better line?" His gaze was still as lifeless as ever as he dug his sword unto the ground, lethally near the vice commander's head.

"Oi, don't involve Kami-sama's precious creation to your antics! AND GET YOUR FUCKING SWORD AWAY FROM ME! I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU, YOU SHAMELESS BASTARD!"

"Fuck no, like I'd want anything to do with Mayora's mayonnaise. You," She shifted the conversation back and her grip on her weapon fastened. ", if I defeat you in battle then, then…" For a moment, her lower lip was caught in between her teeth, hesitant upon unleashing her words.

'No! Get a hold of yourself you dumbass, this is now or never. Do you seriously want to die as an old maid?' With that unwanted consequence playing out in her head, the ending of her sentence had flown out confidently…well a bit too confidently.

"Then you'll agree to take me as your bride to be and we'll get hitched!"

He merely gaped at her blankly for a few frozen seconds, until a blatant laughter had escaped from his lips.

"Good one, China I have to admit that crazy ass joke made up for that stupid line you said earlier." He muttered in between a couple of heehaws, all the while repeatedly plunging his katana in and out of the soil, impressively finding where Hijikata's head had landed each time it pierced while the other desperately evaded.

"YOU DAMN BRAT! Oi, China girl, I have no idea if you're serious about taking this hellish creature as your husband but I'll be more than glad to—"

"Already beat you to it, Mayora now scram!" Kagura had kicked him into the distant depths of space, having her patience already eroded into a fine thread since Okita had ridiculed her serious proposal.

The sight of the mayo freak blasting off into the horizon entertained the 1st Division Captain.

"Huh, so the China beast wasn't kidding about that. Are you so desperate because no one would even care to date you that now, you're crawling to me? Or perhaps it's just my downright handsomeness." By now, Okita had sheathed his katana and had his arms crossed in front of his chest in that laid back, conceited way.

An evident smirk had curved his lips while reddish brown eyes watched her, absolutely amused at her fuming state.

"For your information, you full of yourself Sadist, I happen to have a whole battalion of admirers from here on Edo to the whole expanse of the galaxy!" And right on cue, she sensually angled her hip to the side, sliding off the cloth on her thighs even further and flashed a half-lidded wink to the nearest male passer-by which immediately sent him in a pool of his own nosebleed.

Somehow that didn't sit well for Okita and something had snapped in his brain, aggravation sparking deep within him but of course it didn't manifest on his outward stone face.

"So what do you really plan to happen, I don't have all day to play 'fucked up little family' with you. I'm a busy policeman."

"I already said it you stupid Sadist! Are you really that stupid that you can't even comprehend basic reasoning? Anyway…" she continued on without waiting for his snide reply.

"I'm standing in front of you today as a female member of my clan, proposing to her…chosen mate."

Her voice had nearly hushed at the end, refusing to lock eyes with him at the realization that a noticeable flush had ignited on her face.

"Oh? So you're finally admitting to me that you've fallen for my charm. Real smooth, Chi—"

"And so what if I have?! Now just tell me if you accept my challenge or not for fuck's sake!" Her slender hand had latched onto his cravat and had descended him, so that his stoic face was now directly aligned with her flustered yet no-nonsense one.

For a brief while, he eyed her with pondering scrutiny until he forcibly released himself from her iron grip.

"Fine, I'll take you up on your offer, China." He drew out his blade and advanced forward and she had swiftly countered it with her parasol.

"But if I win, then I'll get to choose a punishment for you for disturbing the peace in Kabukicho."

"What the hell do you think this is?! I'm being serious about my proposal you retarded Sadist!" The pressure on her grasp had mounted and she pushed him back with raw fury.

"Now now, don't be so cruel on your possible husband-to-be. I'm just being fair with you, hey I already agreed to your crazy whim." He'd retracted his sword and swept his leg from underneath in order to catch her off balance but she'd nimbly somersaulted away by a considerable distance.

"Alright, fine! But tell me what the fuck you want first!" She positioned herself in a fighting stance.

A fizz of caramel and with a bat of an eyelash, he was instantaneously right in front of her, his sword threateningly within millimeters apart from her throat.

"That's for me to know." Her immediate reflex had her throw her back away from the danger and deliver a knee to his gut in the process, but he was quick with his thinking and had victoriously captured her knee on his palm and had encircled his other arm around her narrow waist with his blade almost cutting her exposed skin.

Before she even had the option to whack him on the head with her umbrella, he brought his lips so near to her ear that his soothing breath had sent a tingling sensation to course through her senses.

"And for you, to find out later when I defeat you." Her pasty face was engulfed in a fiery hue, both from agitation and the closeness of their bodies. Instead of proceeding with her original plan; she smashed her forehead against his with unrepressed intensity.

The ground screeched notably from the scraping as he had recoiled by a couple of meters, trying to cease the stream of blood on his forehead from the impact.

"As if I'd ever let that happen! Shut up and face your married life with me you bastard!" Soon, bullets are fleetly chasing after his sprinting self and despite of the rabid agony on his head, he whipped out his bazooka and had aimed it to her direction.

"Without pleasure" His monotonous voice rang and a colossal cloud of smoke had resulted from his attack but an enraged demon amanto had instantly emerged from the ruins.

Rule number 1:

Propose to your chosen mate through a battle.

"Hah! Had enough yet, Bakaiser?!" Her slender form had appeared from above; ready to injure him with an aerial kick.

"Tough luck, China I'm only getting started." He immediately fended off her assault with a roll to the side and lunged once more with his katana.

Their little engagement ritual had been going on for hours—no, for an entire day but neither party was willing to surrender.

The unending brawl had beckoned an ocean of audience, eager to witness the tragic drama, or to better put it, war to the death between two psychotic, hormonal young lovers as put by Gintoki who had later awoke to discover this unsurprising fiasco and is currently handing out snacks and beverages, using the occurrence as a chance at gaining money.

Shinpachi, on the other hand had literally smothered his face to the nearest wall and instead of aiding Gintoki with his illegal business, decided to cheer Kagura on from the sidelines.

Kondo, who had happened to have strolled by while tailing his precious female gorilla had caught sight of the scene and is now rooting for Okita, aka his grown up son.

Without food or water for the entire time, it seemed like a heavy challenge, but the weight of the circumstance leaned more on Kagura's part.

And just on cue, a low rumble had erupted from her belly.

"Give it up, China. The monster in your stomach is begging for food. Or would you rather die from this fight out of starvation?" He smirked, dodging the punch that had been launched to his face.

"No way in hell! It's just that it's getting really warm here that my body is bothered." Her hands then escalated to her scarf and pulled it off entirely, then popped a few buttons from her already scanty blouse.

That earned a chorus of pleased wolf whistles from the viewers and a triumphant smile was plastered on her face upon the subtle darting of Okita's stare from the slope of her slim neck down to the groove of her cleavage, all glistened in sweat.

Rule number 2:

Allure him with your natural female charm in the process.

She hoisted up her arms and did a casual stretch, aiming to pose in a suggestive manner.

"Ah, that's much better."

Again, more approving screams were heard.

Though his seeable appearance was not hinted even with the tiniest bit of interest, she knew she had him where she wanted him.

"That's disgusting, China. If you're trying to seduce me well it's not working. It's like watching Danna getting his legs shaved."

"Oi, I don't shave my legs you damn brat!" Gintoki hollered from behind, rolling up his pants as proof.

"Stop it Gin-san, I'm going to vomit." Shinpachi remarked with a grim look on his features.

"Huh, say whatever you want but I swear that not too long from now, you're finished!" She'd entirely disregarded her idiot family's stunt and without warning, ran with her fist determined to land a blow on Okita.

"Don't be so sure of yourself, monst—"

Yet before he could finish his comeback, surprise had settled over him upon the sudden twinge from being hit just like a baseball by her parasol.

He hissed both from torment and outrage, toppling over to the opposite direction and coming contact with land face first.

Before he could even recompose himself, she'd hastily hovered on top of him and flipped him over so he was resting on his back.

As fast as she had entrapped him, her petite hand had caught both his wrists and situated them above his head while her other one was gripping her parasol menacingly against his neck.

His attempt to knock her off of him with his foot had failed to happen, upon the soft sensation of her thigh lightly stroking his crotch.

The action had him momentarily squeeze his vision shut and he suppressed a groan.

His vindictive look glazed with haze clashed with her seemingly innocent expession.

Her hold on him was unyielding and his natural weakness as a man was held against him.

She had him in her mercy.

She ascended herself and mimicked the motion of his lips to her ear earlier.

And last but not least…

"Wo ai ni."

Rule number 3:

Once you've won, profess your love for him in your native dialect.

And he just lied there, gaping at her with the most expressionless and dumbfounded look.

"What the hell was that, China? You know I don't understand your alien language."

She irately pressed her umbrella harder on his throat and yelled.

"That means I've won you dumbass! It's the rule. I clearly defeated you when you're just laying here like a dead fish!"

"No you didn't. You used dirty tactics to have your victory. That's not fair, China. How could you stoop so low? Even I didn't use your female weakness against you. Oh wait, that's right, because you can't even be considered as a part of the female gender."

While she was caught off guard, he heaved up his legs to shove her off of him and stood upright.

His back was promptly facing her, seemingly about to depart.

"Hey wait, I clearly won you sore loser! Now you have no choice but to—"

"And all of this effort is nothing but a waste." He slightly pivoted his head so he could gaze at her by the corner of his emotionless eyes.

His expectation of her latching on his back and pounding him endlessly had been dissipated into the air as he witnessed the mild picture of despair and stupor on her face that slowly, took a turn for the worse.

He refused to watch anymore.

Why did he have regard her with that look?

She kept her emotions at bay and instead, wore a resentful façade.

"Huh, it's not like you're the only man in the world! There's plenty of fish in the whole damn—"
"And now it's time for you to face my consequence." Once again, he had interrupted her, pitilessly ignoring her say on the matter but disapproved to face her.

"Fine, do whatever you like you sadistic bastard. But there's no way in hell I'd agree to be a lab rat of your sadistic toys!"

"Meet me at the cemetery within 2 hours from now."

It was a simple statement like that, but it acutely stupefied her.

"Huh? What kind of consequence is that? Are you planning on burying me alive you sick whacko?!" But before she could even lengthen her rant, he'd already commenced walking away.

"Oi, comeback here you bastard!" The urge to scurry after him and hit him on the head had died down with the thriving fatigue and hunger governing her body.

"Be on time, China or I'll have to punish you." With that, his form had gradually become smaller and smaller until he was completely out of range, leaving a crestfallen Kagura to stare at her feet.

The crowd had been submerged in an uncomfortable state of silence, until Gintoki had tossed the food and drinks away from his grasp and declared, "Yosh, get out of here everyone, shows over nothing to see here." He shooed them with utmost nonchalance and the people reluctantly complied, unsatisfied by the way the jerkass guy had abandoned the poor girl who was now, currently slumped on the floor with a forlorn look on her face.

"Sougo! How could you? How could you do that to a maiden's heart?" The gorilla had scampered off to locate the sandy haired male.

Shinpachi had briskly bolted to Kagura's side, knowing that something was out of place by the way she was behaving.

"Kagura-chan, Kagura-chan! Are you ok? What exactly happened between you and Okita-san?" He sunk himself to her height and her distant stare had bit by bit, bore into his.

"Sh-Shinpachi…I'm…" Her tone had reached near inaudible.

"Yes? What is it?" He patiently anticipated her words.

"I'm…" And her entire frame had slid on the ground, eyes closed with a ghastly pigment on her features.

"Kagura-chan!" He barbarically shook her, dread overtaking him until he heard a clamorous rumble in her stomach.

He halted his movements and watched her with dull, disbelieving eyes.

"…I'm hungry…"

"Really now, you're such a pain in the ass you stupid brat! Now I'll really go bankrupt and eat bread crusts for the rest of my life."

She directed her knee to his abdomen and he reacted with incoherent grunts.

"It's not like you really have money to begin with, Gin-chan so you wouldn't have to worry about going bankrupt."

"She's got a point." Shinpachi added and the two of them chuckled.

After the berserk circus Kagura had taken part in, she forcefully made Gintoki transport her on his back, despite the fact that he had already voluntarily agreed to take her out on an eat-all-you-can buffet, aware of her misery.

"Seriously, you and Souchirou-kun are huge trouble."
"Gin-san!" Shinpachi had reprimanded the older man for bringing up the certain someone in their conversation.

A deafening absence of sound promptly emerged.

"It's alright…Megane, Gin-chan. I don't mind if he doesn't want to marry me…there are lots of other guys in the world. But the problem is I guess…" She nestled her porcelain face on the silver haired man's shoulder, feeling the clear liquid about to prick her gaze.

"There's only one of him out there…" Her voice had finally faltered, quivering as she spoke. Her fruitless attempt at lulling her sobs echoed in her now irked companions' ears.

Despite being ignorant of the entire issue, both of them created a mental note of bashing Okita's head off as soon as they meet once more.

"It's alright, Kagura-chan. Just remember that we're here for you, no matter what happens."

"Yeah, and that bastard would most likely be unable to fill your bottomless pit of a stomach anyway." That transpired more hearty laughs and a smack on Gintoki's head.

"Meet me at the cemetery within 2 hours from now." The memory of his robotic tone replayed in her mind and she stiffened on his hold, head darting straight ahead.

Detecting her out of the blue rigidness, he asked. "Kagura, what's wrong?"

"Gin-chan, what time is it?"

"10 minutes to 9 pm." Shinpachi retorted for him and she swiftly sent her heels to Gintoki's knees, causing the man to waver and groan in pain.

"Y-You ungrateful brat!" He shrunk onto the pavement and massaged his knees, attempting to ease the ache.

"Later Gin-chan, I still have something I have to do!" Her miniature feet had darted to the left and scampered at an obvious speed.

"Wait, where are you going at this time of night?" The brunet shouted at her rapidly disappearing figure.

"To the cemetery!"

Both males were speechless.

"No, Kagura it's not yet too late! We can talk this out!"

The pitter patter of her hurried pace had resounded through the isolated path, but the earnestness to see him was the only thing in her thoughts.

Stop right there, earnest?

Pfft, not a chance.

She merely wanted this monkey business to be over with.

So she leisurely took her time into arriving there and before she knew it, she was already treading the moonlit, final resting place of humans.

The nippy breeze blended well with the eerie texture of the place, as if something right in that moment would pull her into the underworld.

Slightly spooked as she may be, her gaze searched the area as she ambled, intent on finding her rival who had instructed her to go there.

"Don't tell me that sadist already left, that idiot." The discouragement was apparent in her tone.

Then, the sensation of fingers grasping her arm had startled her and firmly, her knuckles had slammed onto the stranger.

"Geez, China you leave waiting in the cold for a whole hour and you still have the nerve to punch me like that? I'm going to have to make your punishment ten times worse." Blood had seeped through his mouth as Okita gazed at her with an uninterested expression.

She withdrew her fist and her lips formed into a scowl.

"Shut up, you deserve it anyway you asshole. Now just the hell do you want with me that you even asked to meet up in this place?"

As if her inquiry had glided on deaf ears, he wordlessly motioned to a humble mausoleum to their right and his eyes hiked up the height of the structure.

"My parents both died when I still very young and so my memories of them are rather foggy. Overtime, the land in the cemetery where they were originally buried in back in my home village had to be used as the local hospital so the corpses had to be transferred in another place. And that's how they've gotten here."

From the faint glow of the sky, she could identify the chiseled word, 'Okita' on the concrete.

"So what's your point?" As much as she was mildly cautious about disturbing his monologue since it seemed like a sensitive topic in his life, the brooding curiosity upon his intentions was gnawing at her.

"But even though my memories are unclear," He resumed, neglecting her once more. ", my older sister was there to raise me and tell me stories about them. A story that I could never forget would be about marriage."

She snorted in the most unwomanly way. "That you'd never marry and die as a forever alone old geezer, Bakaiser?"

"There are 3 steps on how an Okita should choose his wife." He brushed off her comment and began to travel towards her.

"1, you should get to know her for years before considering marriage."

"H-Hey, what do you think you're doing you crazy Sadist?!" In turn, she walked backwards in order to avoid whatever he may do.

"2, get to know her as much as you can. In my case China, it doesn't matter even if I have to annoy her to wits end as long as I get it done." His pacing had not stopped.

"I swear if you try anything funny, I won't hesitate to smash that skull of yours!" She lifted her arm that would always wield her umbrella, but upon feeling the weightlessness and distinguishing that she had left it behind, she lightly cursed.

"And 3,"

She speedily took another step back, but her ankle had slapped against a wall and without her consent, he positioned his hands on either sides of her head; she was trapped.

"Once you're finally sure you'd spend your whole life with her, take her to meet your parents." His rust colored eyes gleamed in the vague moonlight as he stared at her azure once that evidently displayed shock.

Upon realization, she elevated her gaze slightly and noticed that he'd maneuvered her up against the wall of his parents' mausoleum.

"W-What the hell do you mean?" She didn't want it. She didn't want for this surreal moment to be nothing but an illusion.

"Do I really have to spell it out for you, China?" His touch had cascaded down to her shoulders and his forehead had, slightly rigidly pushed on her own.

"Aishiteru, desaa." Her breath was suspended in her throat and she could only gape at him like a dying fish. Not a very pretty sight, nope.

"What, didn't think that I'd know what 'I love you' in your language is? I'm well educated, China I'll have you know."

But she didn't respond and the view of her expression like that peeved him and he smacked her on the head.

"Ouch! What was that for, Bakaiser?! Are you only fucking with me?" She'd instantly lashed out.

"No, not yet though." A coy smirk had adorned the corner of his lips as he fleetly captured her arms by her wrists.

"I'll kill you, you Sadist! I swear I'll fucking kill you!" Her proclamation was evidently contrasting with the severe burning of her cheeks.

"You can try that all you want once we're married."

"W-What are you on about?" Her thrashing had very much slightly calmed.

'Oh Kami-sama did she have to be this dense?' His thoughts roared.

He lined his lips within a breath away from hers.

"Didn't I tell you that all that effort was a waste? You should've been patient and waited for me to make the move. My punishment is, that you marry me, Kagura and I won't take no for an answer."

Once and for all, he expelled the distance between them to kiss her tenderly on the lips and she eagerly snaked her arms around his neck.

After that heartfelt share of emotions he held her close and started rubbing circles on her back.

"I've already thought about it, and I've decided that your other punishment is for you to agree to have our honeymoon tonight."

She swiftly detached herself from his latch, her face flaming clearly.

"What the hell perverted Sadist, and in front of your parents too?! We're not even married yet! And what do you mean 'other punishment'?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm a healthy young man after all, I'm sure they'd understand. And it's for being late in coming here."

And the tale in which both of them accessed the Shinsengumi compound in the unholy hours of the night, the unexplained absence of Kagura in Gintoki's closet that night, Gintoki and Shinpachi's raid of the Shinsengumi headquarters the day after in an attempt to murder Okita for being the trigger of their presumed suicide of Kagura, and being welcomed by the naked, tangled bodies of Okita and Kagura on the young man's futon would be very much remembered.

That was well, holy freaking long （￣へ￣） I have thought of dividing this and placing them in small chapters but oh well, I do like making one-shots.

Oh and a little trivia, according to the Wiki Okita, in the Japanese version likes to end his sentences in '~desaa' and "~desuzee'. ( ^‐^)