My arm jerks lightly and I look up just in time to see my bobber being pulled underwater. Excited, I wrench my fishing rod back and begin to reel in my catch, impressed with the struggle this fish is giving me.
"What the hell?" I mutter under my breath, confused when my reward breaks the surface of the lake.
Instead of a fish at the end of my line, I am face to face with a frog. I can't help but cringe when I see the hook threaded through its lip, and I work as gently as I can to free it, dropping the frog back into the lake when I'm through.
Now I'm back at square one, and the sun is dropping beyond the horizon fast. I know if I don't catch something soon we may not be eating tonight.
Peeta is back where we set up camp putting up our tent and starting a fire while I fish for our dinner here at the lake — the usual routine. We've been doing this for years. One weekend a month when the weather allows, Peeta and I retreat into the woods to get away from the boundless pressures and responsibilities we endure due to our families.
It's a nice escape. Peeta is always good company, and always seems to have something to talk about that's interesting. That's one of my favorite things about our friendship. There's never time for even a beat of awkward silence. Whether he's trying to trick me into singing for him by pretending to forget how a song goes, or making up a ridiculous story on the spot, Peeta sees to it that we are always laughing — laughter chases the disquiet away, he says.
Our parents don't know we come out here. They'd never approve, especially Peeta's mother. She never has a nice word to say about me. My mother doesn't have a problem with Peeta, but she makes it clear every chance she gets that she "doesn't trust hormones", and doesn't think it's wise for two sixteen year olds to be alone together for too long.
I've tried to tell her she's ridiculous. Peeta is just a friend, but she won't hear it. So, when we take our weekend trips out here to the lake, I tell my mother that I am staying with my friend Madge, and Peeta… I'm not sure what Peeta tells his parents, he always simply tells me he took care of it. I've learned the hard way not to press him for answers when it comes to his family.
We keep our tent bag and my fishing gear hidden in the woods in a hollowed out log deep in the thickest part of the forest where I am fairly certain nobody in this town ever treads. I stuff blankets into my bag with my clothes and toothbrush before I leave the house, and Peeta stops for fresh bait on his way out here.
It's sneaky, and Peeta would probably rather not have to hide in the woods, but if it gets us out of our houses for a few days, we are willing to do it.
There's a party on the other side of the lake tonight. I can see tiki torches and the flame of a bonfire licking the air. The music is so loud, it's causing the ground underneath me to vibrate with each hit of the bass, and I am sure it's scaring the fish away.
I wasn't invited to the party. Either was Peeta. I think he was a little upset by it, but he'd never admit it. Me? I'm more upset that they're interrupting our weekend and scaring our dinner away in the process. I don't know how to act at parties, anyway. I would probably end up embarrassing myself if I were invited and actually showed up. But with Peeta, no matter how much time I spend with him, he never makes me feel the pressure to be anyone but myself, and I appreciate that.
The sound of rustling to my left breaks me from my reverie, and I turn quickly in hopes that it's just Peeta coming to find out what's taking me so long to come back with dinner and not a skunk, or worse. I'm surprised to instead see Gale Hawthorne walking toward me.
Gale is two years older than me, but I know him from the neighborhood. He grew up a few houses down from me and when we were younger, we would play kickball in my backyard and walk to the only corner store left in town with penny candy. As we got older, our interests became too different, and while we always remained friends, we inevitably drifted apart, so it's a shock to see him here at the lake.
"Hey, Katniss Everdeen," Gale says in greeting.
"Gale," I nod in his direction.
"Madge told me I'd find you here at the lake."
My eyes grow wide and I stare at Gale in disbelief for a minute, trying to get the words to click in my mind. I couldn't have heard him correctly. Why would Madge tell Gale where I was? She promised she'd cover for me.
"Madge shouldn't have been telling anyone where I was at," I snap angrily.
"Sorry, I didn't know it was a secret." Gale holds his hands up in surrender and then moves past me, shoving his them into the pockets of his jeans as he passes me. "So it's been awhile since we hung out, huh?"
I shrug and bend down to grab another night crawler for my fishing hook. "We're kind of beyond kickball and candy," I reply, sounding angrier than I intended to. He didn't know Madge was supposed to be keeping a secret for me, but he is interrupting my fishing, and I need to get back to Peeta at camp — why did he choose tonight to reminisce? Why was he looking for me at all?
"That's exactly what I was thinking, that's why I was looking for you." I narrow my eyes at Gale before I cast and begin to fish again, turning my attention to the water as I try to focus on the small bobber in such little light. "There's that party going on across the lake, you know."
"Yeah, I know." I still won't look in his direction. Maybe if I don't, he'll leave.
"You should come over there with me. Meet some people, have a few drinks." Gale clears his throat, commanding my attention, and I relent, looking at him expectantly, hoping he senses my impatience. "And maybe if you have a good time you could reward me with a kiss at the end of the night."
What? Reward him with a kiss? This is the last thing I expected Gale to say to me, and I can't understand why he would suddenly show up with such a forward proposition in the first place.
I open my mouth to respond, but am unable to form words. All I can do is shake my head, reeling my line back in to buy some extra time so I can remember how to string a simple sentence together.
"I can't," I say finally. I can feel Gale's steely gray eyes boring into me, and it's making me feel like I haven't made my rejection clear enough. I find myself muttering the first thing that comes to mind. "I have a boyfriend."
Gale looks around as though he is expecting my non-existent boyfriend to come barrelling out from behind a tree to fight for my honor, and when he seems satisfied that nothing like that is going to happen, he looks back to me.
"Well he's not here right now," Gale shrugs, a smug smile tugging at his lips.
"He is. He's waiting for me to come back with fish so we can have dinner." I blurt the words out quickly, before I have time to realize that I just tried to give Gale the impression that Peeta is my boyfriend.
"Wait, are you talking about Peeta?" Gale scoffs. "I know he's not your boyfriend."
"Yes he is," I argue. I must sound so stupid, arguing like a child over something that I'm not even telling the truth about in the first place, but Gale has some nerve coming out here and assuming I would happily agree to going to that party with him, and then expecting a kiss for his chivalrous favor.
"Come on, Katniss," Gale urges. "Come to the party with me. I've been wanting to ask you to hang out, but you make it pretty impossible to get you alone with the way you always have Peeta attached to your hip."
"Well he is my boyfriend," I stress, refusing to give in and admit that I lied to Gale.
"Why are you trying to lie to me, Katniss?" Gale laughs and shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest. If he's making a face, I can't tell. It has gotten too dark to see much of anything now, and I still don't have any fish.
"I'm leaving," I snap, gathering my fishing gear as quickly as I can.
Ignoring Gale's calls for me to lighten up, I trudge away from him angrily in the direction of camp and walk as quickly as possible in the dark, hoping that I can find my way to Peeta without completely losing my way. I didn't expect to be gone past dark, so I didn't take the flashlight. I am regretting that decision now.
After walking for a bit I spot the soft glow of the fire Peeta has started and use it to guide me to camp. When I get there, Peeta is sitting on a log, hunched over, poking at the fire with a stick. It's roaring nicely, and I can feel the warmth on my skin even at a distance.
For some reason, I can't stop the smile that springs to my lips at the sight of Peeta, his forearms resting on his thighs, a look of deep concentration painted across his profile in the glow of the firelight. His hair looks darker in just the light of the fire, the golden curls at his forehead rest there as if they were commanded not to move.
I'm not sure that I've ever stared at Peeta this long before. I've certainly never noticed just how long his eyelashes are. I think back to Gale's laughter when I told him Peeta is my boyfriend. What is so funny about that? I know I could certainly do worse.
Was it really that far-fetched to assume that we were dating? We are together all the time, he makes me laugh, he makes me feel good about myself, and I'd like to think I give him the same in return.
Wait! What am I saying? Peeta's just my friend. That's it. I shake my head in attempts to get rid of the fog and clear my throat, getting his attention.
"Don't get too close, you'll singe your eyebrows off," I warn him, stepping closer
"Hey," Peeta smiles, breaking his concentration on the fire. I can just see his eyebrows knit together in concern. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lie. That's another thing about Peeta. He always knows when I'm upset without me having to tell him.
"Are you sure? You look upset about something." He stands up and begins walking toward me, studying my face for any other signs of apprehension.
"I can barely see your face, how can you possibly see mine?" I try to joke. "I'm fine." I look away from him and down at the ground, suddenly feeling guilty for lying to him.
"How many fish did you catch?"
Oh shit, the fish! I know that if we want to eat tonight, I have to go back to the lake.
"Come with me!" I exclaim, turning quickly. "And bring the flashlight."
"Katniss, what's going on?" Peeta asks nervously. "Why are you acting so weird?"
I stop in my tracks and take a breath. I shouldn't be so rattled by this, but I am. Between Gale's assumptions, the lie I told, and the way I stared at Peeta a little too long when I came back to camp have my stomach tying itself into knots.
"Peeta, please. Just come back to the lake with me," I plead, turning on my heel and walking away before he has a chance to respond. The sounds of Peeta's heavy footsteps behind me tells me he's not going to ask any more questions right now, so I slow down and wait for him to catch up.
The closer we get to the lake, the more I find myself worrying that Gale will still be there. Quickly and without warning him, I grab Peeta's hand and lace our fingers together. I can't stop my breath from hitching when Peeta's hand closes around mine without question. The electricity between us is tangible. This isn't the first time I've felt that jolt of energy in the pit of my stomach in response to his touches, but I try to ignore it. I can't think about what this means right now. I haven't even told Peeta that I lied to Gale — I haven't even told him Gale knows we are out here together.
"Katniss, what's wrong?" Peeta asks again, and he sounds so nervous, so concerned, that I know I have to tell him.
"Okay.." I take a deep breath and hope he doesn't hate me for lying about something like this. "I saw Gale Hawthorne at the lake, he wanted me to stop fishing and go to the party on the other side with him."
"How did Gale find you?" I can tell he's trying to keep the anger from his voice.
"Not important right now, Peeta," I breathe. "Gale was getting pushy, asking me to go to this party with him, so I — Um.. I kind of told him that you were my boyfriend."
I can feel Peeta's body tense next to me and wait for him to respond, but after a few minutes of walking, he has said nothing. With the lake coming into focus, I can't wait any longer.
"So if he's still there, please, just act like you're my boyfriend, okay?" I squeeze his hand tighter and he nods and clenches his jaw, still not speaking.
When we finally reach the lake again, I don't see Gale where I left him, and after a quick scan of the area, he doesn't appear to be anywhere in sight. Relieved, I drop Peeta's hand and get ready to attempt to fish again.
Peeta sighs next to me and sits down on a large rock that is situated close to the water. I take a chance and glance at his face quickly. He looks anything but happy to be here with me right now. I should have never told him what I did.
As I open my mouth to begin to apologize and attempt to salvage our weekend of respite, I hear voices. I know immediately that one of them is Gale.
To my left, I can just make out Gale's silhouette walking toward the water. Behind him is a girl I've never seen before, walking and giggling while holding onto one of his hands with both of hers. They sit down near the shore and begin talking. They're far enough away to not be heard clearly, but close enough for us to see them.
As they continue to talk, I suddenly notice that they're pointing at us, and though I can't tell, it looks like they may even be laughing. Gale waves at me animatedly, and the girl next to him slaps his arm and laughs loudly. I shake my head, ignoring both of them. Why is Gale being such a prick?
When I feel the familiar tug on my fishing line, I pull it excitedly, ignoring Gale's presence.
"Peeta! Put the flashlight on the water!" I call out to him as I start to reel in my catch.
Peeta jumps up from where he was sitting on the rock and points the large flashlight at the water. I watch anxiously, hoping that I haven't caught another frog, and when the large fish emerges from the water, I let out a sigh of relief knowing we'll at least have something to eat tonight.
"Way to go, Katniss!" Gale yells across the water, clapping dramatically while the girl next to him continues buries her face in his shoulder. "Is your boyfriendgoing to give you a celebratory kiss?"
Even though I know Gale can't see me, I roll my eyes at him as he starts yelling out to Peeta to give me a kiss. I can't stop the anger that is welling up inside of me. I clench my fists together and bite the inside of me cheek.
Peeta is next to me immediately. Even in the dark, he senses that I am one taunt away from blowing up completely.
"Ignore him, Katniss. His ego is bruised because you turned him down, and he's trying to make you feel like shit about it, that's all," Peeta says soothingly.
Was that it? Was Gale mad because I wouldn't go to that stupid party with him? It makes me wonder if any girl has ever turned him down before. The thought just makes me angrier throw my fishing pole to the ground in frustration.
"I don't like him making fun of you like that."
"He's making fun of you too," Peeta reminds me.
"I don't care about me, I care about you." I look up at his eyes, so impossibly blue, even in the dark, and then down to his lips. My eyes stay there, focused on them. Wondering suddenly what they'd feel like against mine.
A look of confusion flashes across Peeta's face before he lets out a sigh that almost sounds pained.
"Katniss, we don't have to do this, he's just being an asshole. Let it go." Something in Peeta's tone strikes me as weird. It's almost as if he's pleading with me.
"I just want to shut him up," I try to reason. Of course that's the reason I want to kiss Peeta so badly, right?
"I don't want to kiss you if it's not real," Peeta blurts out, abruptly. "I'll pretend to be your boyfriend, but that's it."
"What's wrong, Peeta? Don't know how to kiss a girl?!" Gale yells as he begins to laugh loudly.
As Gale continues to laugh, I notice something change in Peeta. He sets his shoulders straight and steps closer to me.
"Okay, so you're my girlfriend?" Peeta asks, as though he's making sure he has the information right.
"Yes."
"And we're madly in love?"
"Sure, that sounds good," I laugh, unable to keep the smile from my face.
"So it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it."
With his slight nod, I realize that Peeta has just given me permission to carry on this charade. Quickly, before I can think about what I'm about to do, I grab the collar of his green flannel shirt and pull his face down, finding his lips clumsily in the dark.
I almost miss his mouth entirely at first. Half of my mouth lands on his cheek, while the other half successfully finds his lips. Trying not to laugh, I move to readjust my head and line up our lips properly. I feel that jolt of electricity again, the same that I felt when our hands connected earlier, but this time it's ten times stronger when I feel his warm lips on mine. The sensation is shocking and a little strange, but nice. So nice that I'm not sure I want it to end.
The loud crash the flashlight makes when it falls from Peeta's hand has us pulling away from each other hastily. I am just beginning to feel the warmth of a blush creeping up to my cheeks when I hear Gale and his mystery girl's laughter ring out into the air, ripping me from my bliss by reminding me that they are there.
Peeta stands in front of me rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he looks over my shoulder at Gale and the girl.
"One more time?" He asks timidly. "For the audience?"
I want to say no. I want to yell that we played right into Gale's ruse by kissing each other. That's exactly what he wanted us to do. He wanted us to make fools of ourselves by trying to prove something. But instead, I nod quickly, trying as hard as I can to convince myself that the only reason I want to kiss Peeta again is to beat Gale at his own game, but if I'm being honest with myself, I know that has nothing to do with it and everything to do with the overwhelming need to feel Peeta's lips on mine again. Longer this time.
We move toward each other, slower than before, less disjointed, and Peeta grabs my waist. It sends a chill up my spine that I never knew was possible, and within seconds, he is capturing my lips.
It starts slow with light, languid pecks, but soon I find that it isn't enough for me and I open my mouth slightly, wordlessly asking Peeta to kiss me deeper. I feel his tongue graze my bottom lip agilely and I take a chance, flicking my tongue out to meet his — the moan he emits from the back of his throat tells me that I must have done something right.
I'm not sure how long we have been like this. Standing in the dark, flashlight forgotten, while our mouths continually find each other and explore. The tips of our tongues brush against each other delicately, over and over. It almost tickles, and I'm surprised at how much I like it.
Peeta pulls away first and sets his forehead against mine. I have to use every ounce of strength that I have to allow Peeta to talk when really I just want him to keep kissing me.
"Do you think that convinced them?" He asks breathlessly.
"I don't care anymore," I murmur, wrapping my arms around Peeta's neck and pulling him down into another kiss. This time, we both know that it has nothing to do with Gale and his little friend.
I shiver when we finally break apart again, and I'm not sure if it's from the cool breeze that is now coming off the lake or from Peeta's kisses.
"We should get back to camp," Peeta says running his hands up and down my arms in attempts to stop my shivering. "Get you in front of the fire so you can warm up." He speaks in a tone I've heard a hundred times before, soft and tender, with a slight edge of command, but all at once, his voice sounds different to me. His tone means something different to me. I wonder if he notices it, too?
Without further discussion we pick up our things and start to head back to camp for the night, the thought of food long forgotten. As we make our way through the woods with nothing but the light from the flashlight Peeta holds guiding us, our free hands find each other in the dark. We walk the rest of the way hand in hand, but without a word.
I drop my things as soon as we get back to the tent and plop down on the log in front of the fire. It has gone down considerably since we left, and Peeta is there quickly, picking up the stick he abandoned earlier and adding another log to the orange embers. I can't help but watch him intently as he works to bring the fire back to life.
"Are you hungry?" He asks, his eyes focused on the fire in front of us.
"Not really."
Peeta shifts uncomfortably and turns to me, catching me off guard. His eyes search mine, but I keep glancing down at his lips that are slightly wet where his tongue just traced.
"What are we doing, Katniss?"
"Sitting in front of the fire," I shrug. I know that's not what he was asking, but how can I possibly give him an answer when I'm not sure myself?
"I mean about what just happened. What was that?"
"Can we not talk about what it means right now?" I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, wondering how our relaxing, private weekend turned into this.
"Why not?" There's a slight edge of irritation in Peeta's voice.
"Because all I want to do right now is kiss you. Can't we worry about what it means later?" The edge in my voice echoes off the trees and back to me. My own voice sounds different, too. Bolder, honest, with a trace of longing. How long have I wanted this but never allowed myself to think it?
Peeta's eyes widen and he swallows hard. He looks like he's about to say something, but all he does is lick his lips and shudders out a nervous breath before he leans in and kisses me again.
Warmth fills my body instantly, and for the first time I am able to concentrate on just him. His tongue is soft as it runs across the length of my own, and I question if I've ever felt something so good before. Its not something I gave too much thought, but right now, in this moment, it's all I can think about. He tastes sweet, but there's a hint of something else that I can't figure out, and I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't want to spend the rest of the weekend trying to figure out what it is.
Each pass of his tongue makes me weaker and weaker, and it's getting more and more difficult to fight wanting to touch him. I want to know what his skin feels like underneath his shirt. I want to see if our kisses are doing to him what they are to me.
"Katniss," Peeta pants, nuzzling his nose against mine. He presses a light kiss to my lips. "You can touch me if you want."
I want to. There's nothing more that I want right now than to touch him. I press my hand against his chest, feeling the hard, fast, beating of his heart against my hand, but I know that's not enough.
Slowly, I move my hand down further, feeling his stomach contracting almost violently under my touch. Peeta grabs my hand, stopping me from going further. He looks me in the eye, studying my face.
"Only if you're sure," he whispers.
"I'm sure," I nod, trying to break free from the grip he has on my wrist. I want to touch him, need to touch him. I don't know where this urge came from, and the sheer power of my compulsion scares me a little.
Peeta's lips haven't left mine once, and it's this that gives me the final burst of courage to drop my hand to the front of his jeans. My palm brushes against the unmistakable hardness there, and Peeta hisses when I begin to rub against it.
I must have lost my mind. Instead of thinking about what a bad idea this is, the only thing I can think about is what he must feel like without these jeans in the way. I pull away from his mouth, and he groans in protest until my hand finds the button of his jeans.
"Wait," Peeta says, placing his hand over mine, stopping me again. I knew this was a bad idea.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," I stammer, the heat of embarrassment creeping up my neck.
"No, no, it's fine, Katniss," Peeta stammers quickly, shaking his head wildly. "More than fine. I was just going to say that maybe we should go into the tent first."
"Oh." I don't know what else to say. I know I should stop this right here. I should tell him it was a mistake to even go as far as we did, but I won't. That's the last thing I want to do after feeling his arousal and hearing his moans. I want more of that, and no excuse that I try to use to talk myself out of it will remedy that.
I stand up, smoothing my hands down the front of my jeans quickly, wiping away dirt that doesn't exist and walk to the tent without a glance back at Peeta.
The nervous energy filling the small area is palpable and seems to only get worse at the sound of Peeta zipping the tent closed after he enters. He's on me in a flash, capturing my mouth, his tongue roaming through the dips and curves of my mouth as he pushes me back onto the blanket. I don't know exactly how we got to this point in such a short amount of time, but I'll have to remember to thank Gale the next time I see him.