Seventh Year – Part Four

Lily sighed as she made her way towards James Potter, the air brisk against her face. She tightened the scarf around her neck as she walked, dropping her face into the wool for warmth and covering her chin. James was standing alone, something that he shouldn't have been doing. Lily was told- no, promised, that when she agreed to go to Hogsmeade it would be a completely platonic group outing, including not only Potter, but Black, Remus, and Peter as well. Seeing him waiting up ahead on the trail alone, Lily realized the invitation must have been a poorly plotted scheme to get her alone with him, again.

She found this realization unfortunate for several reasons. One was because Potter had gone almost all year without badgering her in any romantic notion- a change in their relationship she greatly enjoyed. Secondly, because of that welcoming change, Lily had almost begun to like being in his company. As much as she hated to admit it, Potter had seemed to actually grow up this year. Rest assure, he was still arrogant and full of himself, character traits she still despised in him, but he'd stop bullying younger years and competing with her in their classes. He'd also, much to Lily's surprise, taken his job as Head boy quite seriously. Lily hadn't minded patrolling with him at night as much as she assumed she would. And up until now, he'd even stopped his absurd advances towards her.

She'd never admit it out loud, but Potter had become almost tolerable. Nearly reaching him now, Lily rolled her eyes, feeling as if all the progress she's made into trusting the boy in front of her was about to go to moot.

"Don't be cross." Potter said immediately as she stepped closer to him, most likely having already seen the distain in her eyes. His feet were shuffling uncharacteristically in nervous energy.

Lily slowed her walk as she took the last three steps towards him, crossing her arms and arching her eyebrows, daring him to come up with an excuse good enough. She watched Potter squirm under her gaze, secretly enjoying the power she had over him.

"Look, I swear on Merlin's grave that I didn't plan this." He said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Mmhmm." Lily responded shortly.

"I know you're not going to believe this but I'm going to tell you anyway." He continued, "Sirius and Remus were just here before you and then out of nowhere told me that they had to study for an exam and needed to go back into the dorms all day in order to get anything done. They emphasized the 'all day' part."

"You realize we don't have any exams, right? " Lily replied, her head tilting in annoyance.

"That's exactly what I said!" James replied with indignation, "But they mumbled off something about not being the kind of examination I'm thinking of."

"Okay, and what's your excuse for Peter then?" Lily resigned, lifting her hands away from her chest and placing them on her hips instead.

"That he's a bloody coward?" James said with a shrug of the shoulders. "He's convinced himself that Deatheaters are everywhere and waiting to attack the students in Hogsmeade today."

He sighed, looking down at his shuffling feet before bringing his head up again and looking at Lily straight on.

"I know you don't believe me," He started, "but honestly I-"

"I believe you." Lily said, stopping him mid-sentence. She dropped her hands to her sides in resolution.

James paused for a moment, as if making sure that what he heard was correct.

"What?" He asked incredulously.

"I said, I believe you." Lily repeated, she shrugged her shoulders as if agreeing with Potter was the most natural thing in the world. She knew it wasn't, but she loved the look on his face.

"You...you do?" James asked again. He took a step away from her, looking her up and down, as if he wasn't certain if Lily Evans was really standing in front of him.

A smile stretched across Lily's face at his reaction.

"Potter calm down, it's me." She said laughing. " I believe you because Sirius and Remus really have been running off a lot together recently, an ominous warning if I ever saw one, and Peter's barely left his room since the last student was attacked. So, yes, Merlin help me, but I believe you."

"Oh" James replied lamely.

They looked at each other, James shifting again on his feet and Lily moving her gloved hands up to cup around her mouth from the cold.

"So..." She said, bringing her hands down again, "Should we go?"

"Uh, yea" James replied, finally coming to. "Yea, let's go."

They walked in silence down the path leading to Hogsmeade. James shoved his hands into his pockets and Lily wondered how he'd made it this far into the cold without gloves on in the first place. It was absolutely frigid out and her legs were already becoming stiff and numb. She picked up the pace slightly, thinking about the warmth inside one of the shops.

"Do you know where you'd like to go, then?" She asked, trying to overcome the awkwardness of it all.

James and her were never truly alone before, only on patrol nights. But even that was often interrupted regularly with other students and teachers. Today would be hours of just them, undisturbed. It didn't help that the snow-covered path made for an annoyingly romantic and picturesque scene, or that almost every other group ahead or behind them were couples holding hands.

"I was thinking we could go to Tomes and Scrolls."

Lily laughed and James turned his head to her in question.

"You want to go to Tomes and Scrolls?" She asked skeptically.

"Sure, don't you?"

"You liar. I know you've had your mind on getting a look at the new brooms at Spintwitches."

"Well, yea that too, of course" He shrugged and Lily laughed again. "And where do you want to go then?"

"Honeydukes."

"Finally, something we can agree on." James teased.

They continued down the path, passing several knowing faces along the way and stopping briefly to chat here and there. Lily tried hard to ignore what many of them must have been thinking; James Potter and Lily Evans out together and headed towards Hogsmeade - on a date. She'd make sure at the very least they'd stay clear of Madame Puddyfoot's.

The warmth of Honeydukes was immensely appreciated and the smells of sweets that hit their noses were even more welcoming. Lily loved Honeydukes. She had tried almost all of their candies at this point, yet hadn't gotten sick of any of them yet. She did have her favorites though. She immediately went to greet Mrs. Flume, the young shopowner's wife who knew her quite well at this point; Remus and her probably accounted for half of their business sales. From the corner of her eye she saw James walk straight to the chocolates. She proceeded to say chitchat with Mrs. Flume for a few moments, before delving into the colourful rows of treats herself, James never too far away. Walking around the shop and simply enjoying the look of so much candy in the world was an experience itself. For a Seventh year student, Lily probably shouldn't have been so impressed by the mounds any longer, but here she was, wide-eye and mouth watering.

"Have you noticed that almost everyone else in this shop is a First or Second Year?" James said behind her, as if hearing her thought. She turned to see that his hands were full of chocolate frogs. A flashing image of a boy on a train, scrabbling to get inside a train cart crossed her mind and she suppressed a smile.

"It's not our fault Seventh Years can't appreciate the sweeter things in life." She joked.

James looked at her in horror. "Merlin, you're worse than Peter with puns like those." He rolled his eyes before moving passed her towards the counter. "I've got your Liquorice Wands as well." He added over his shoulder.

"I-" Lily stopped, confused. "How did you know I wanted Liquorice Wands?" she said, coming up behind him.

"Lily, it's all you eat."

"That's rubbish, I eat other candies. Sometimes I-

"Sometimes you'll eat a chocolate frog from Remus' stash, but you much prefer Liquorice Wands." He finished for her.

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. It was true that she had a sweet tooth to rival a toddler, but she was certain she did not eat so much of it to have allowed James Potter to notice a pattern in her choices of sweets.

"You make it sound like I have some sort of addiction." She retorted lamely, watching as James paid for the candies.

"Lily," James said, turning around to her as Mrs. Flume added up the prices. "you eat a Liquorice Wand almost every single time we study for exams. Remus does the same thing with his chocolates, and when your Wands run out, you resort to knocking off his chocolate. I know this because every single time there's a test, Remus goes on and on about chocolate thievery, keeping everyone else thoroughly annoyed."

She blanched.

"How do you know it's me stealing his chocolates? Maybe it's Peter!" She replied desperately, but James had already turned back around to Mrs. Flume. Lily scooted to his left side, trying to grab his attention in order to defend her honor.

"I know," He replied, a wicked smile on his face, "Because I've seen you do it."

"You have not." Lily straightened, a small panic rising in her.

"Oh, I have," James replied mischievously, counting out the change Mrs. Flume handed back to him. "Remus only hides his chocolate in one place, under his bed fitted into the gap between the frame and the post. You came up there before studies once and nicked a good half of it."

Lily stood in front of him, mouth agape.

"But, how did you know?" She asked horrified, "I made sure you were all in the library!"

James' smile widened and he let out a loud laugh. "I didn't – but now I do!"

He moved passed her stunned face, laughing in triumph, bags swaying carelessly in hand and opened the door. Before Lily had a moment to gather her wits, he was stepping out back into the cold. A gust of cold wind hit her, making her physically shake her head and knocking her back to her senses. She hurriedly scrambled through the door after him.

"Potter!" She called, stopping him a few feet in front of her. He turned, glee written all over his smug face. "I ought to hex you." She said sternly.

"Why?" He said, faking innocence, "I'm not the one stealing from friends."

"Why you little –" She grunted, running towards him in frustration. He quickly darted out of the way and ran, laughing even louder now, down the street.

Unwilling to give up against Potter, she chased after him, her hands searching her cloak for her wand while she moved her short legs as fast as possible to keep up. But the cold stung her face and Potter was much too tall and fast for her, he had quickly gained a large distance in front of her.

"Come on Evans!" James taunted, waving his hands in jest. He turned swiftly down an alley and Lily quickly ran to follow. When she turned in, she saw Potter running towards a dead end.

"Got you!" She shouted at him.

Her yell made him look back as he tried to slow down, but his boot slipped on unseen ice and he went tumbling into the snow bank near the end of the alley. Lily laughed viciously and picked up speed.

"Lily, wait-" James called out from the ground, but she refused to be distracted.

Almost as soon as she was upon him, giddy with wicked intentions, her foot slipped from under her and sent her spiraling into James. She landed with a loud crunch as her elbow smacked into James' face, while her own went straight into the snow. There were a few grunts of pain as Lily slowly lifted her head up, flakes stuck against her hair, sending an involuntary shiver down her spine.

"I think you've smashed the frogs" She heard James say under her.

She quickly tried to pick herself up, but in all her haste ended up slipping on the ice underneath them again and fell back into the snow, bum first. James sat up and looked at her, a hand soothing the side of his face where she'd accidentally hit him.

"You're quite graceful." He said straight-faced.

Lily looked back at him, his hair mussed from wet snow and his glasses crooked and fogged from the moisture. She couldn't help but start laughing.

"You're quite an arse" She retorted, and James smiled broadly. "An utter and complete arse." She added to be clear.

After wiping his glasses and flatting his hair, James stood up, patting his pants down as best as possibly before reaching a hand out to help Lily up. A bit begrudgingly, she took it and she shook herself out before they began walking back toward the main road again, making sure to take extra precaution of where they stepped.

"How'd you guess it was me?" she asked, still sore on the subject.

"Sirius and I don't care for it enough to take on the wrath of Remus. And Peter's too terrified to even try. You're the only one who would've had the guts to do it, and knew where it was."

They stepped out, back onto High Street, and Lily shook herself once more to try and rid any of the remaining snow latched onto her cloak. She looked up at James, who was still smiling, and gave his arm a rough smack.

"Quit smiling like you got the best of me."

"I did get the best of you."

"Yea, but you don't-" She paused, her eyes catching several black cloaked figures billowing down the path.

They had just stepped out of a tattered looking pub, the sign old and worn. Lily had never really noticed it before now. Hogs Head Inn, it read. The group was huddled together tightly, directly in front the entrance, and from the faces Lily could see, much of them didn't look like they were from Hogwarts. Almost all of them were unrecognizable to her, except for one. She shivered in cold memory as her eyes locked on Avery, standing in the center of the group. He was speaking to someone sternly in front of him, gesturing with his hands and bowing his head down as if trying not to be noticed. Lily could only see the back of the other person's head, but the group had a haunting and grim look about them when place against the other bright and snowy lined shops.

Suddenly Avery spotted her watching him. Instead of looking away, a slow and impish grin began spreading across his face. He said something to the person in front of him, who then turned sharply and Lily drew in a sharp breath as Severus' face came into view. Before she had time to think, Potter had stepped in front of her blocking her view.

"Lily," He said softly, "Let's go."

"No, I-" She stuttered, trying with difficulty to not think of what Severus could be doing with Avery. "I'm not done in Hogsmeade." She said finally, contemplating whether to not to lean over more so that she could see what the group was doing.

"Lily-"

"I'm not leaving." She said sternly this time. She looked up at him stubbornly, straining her neck slightly due to his height. "I've a right to be here and I'm not done."

James' forehead creased in concern. He stole a glance back at the group, still blocking her view, before turning back to look at her. After years of classroom fights and exchanges of sharp, foul words, James must have learned that when Lily put her mind to something, there was little to do to change it. She watched him throw a hand into his damp hair and scratch at the crown.

"Three Broomsticks?" He offered, giving in with a sigh and shrug.

"Perfect." she replied. "I could use a Butterbeer."

XxxxX

They sat in silence across from each other. Lily had barely touched her butterbeer. Despite herself, her mind raced with thoughts of Severus and Avery and the group she'd just seen. Were they Deatheaters? ,she wondered. Had Severus truly gone so far? Were they planning something at Hogwarts?

She tried to assure herself that even though Severus had chosen them over her, he wouldn't be part of an attack at Hogwarts, the very school that had taught him magic and given him his friends now. Yet, she also never thought he'd allow his comrades to torture her. And she also thought he would visit her in the hospital wing after they did. She had thought a lot of things of Severus once; good things, and it seemed everyday she was proven wrong about him.

She forced herself to lift her pint and sip her drink, but the sweeten liquid tasted stale in her mouth. She put it down again and noticed James looking back at her sadly.

"They won't hurt you in Hogsmeade." He said suddenly, placing his own beer down.

"They hurt me at Hogwarts, James." She replied, averting her eyes from his. "They don't care where they do it or who sees, they just want muggle-borns gone."

"Last time you were alone," He said after a minute of contemplation. "They can't hurt you if there's two of us."

"Then should I be afraid every time I want to travel to Hogmeade alone?" She sighed, sinking into the bench. "Is that what life will be like outside of Hogswart's walls now?"

James was silent after that, unable to answer her question. It seemed every day was getting worse; More attacks, more students missing, either to join the Deatheaters, or because they were targeted by them. Remus, it seemed, was right all along. There truly was a war brewing. Maybe it had already started, but they were too sheltered by the comfort of Hogswarts to see it. It had been some time since she consistently saw Dumbledore roaming the halls of the school. McGonagall had mentioned to them that the Headmaster was traveling frequently to interview for some of next years professors, but most of the students didn't believe it. There were rumors he was recruiting for an army.

"Lily," James said, startling her out of her thoughts. She looked up at him in question, "Can I ask you something?" he continued, "Something... a bit personal perhaps?"

"Okay." she said hesitantly.

"Did you-" He started, then paused, looking into his pint as if trying to find the right words. "What were you and Sn-Severus to each other?"

Lily straightened up in surprise. That had not been what she was expecting, especially from Potter, the boy who has been trying to date her since third year. Perhaps, she thought, he truly is over me, or at least truly coming to think of me as a friend.

"What do you mean?" she asked, feigning ignorance.

"I mean, were you really just friends? Because, I saw the way you looked at him just now and it just seemed..." he struggled for the words, "it just seemed like something more is all."

She stared back at him in wonder. Had he honestly saw all that in a just a few short seconds, or had this been a question he's thought of asking her before?

"Do you really want to know this?" she asked softly, letting her fingers play absently with a knob in the wood on the table.

"I do." He said without hesitation, holding his beer in both hands.

She watched her fingers circle the knob several times, contemplating her answer. She felt James' eyes on her in anticipation.

"I think, " She finally started, "that at one time I thought I really loved Severus," She paused and cleared her throat awkwardly, "more than a friend." She clarified quickly, looking sheepishly up for James' reaction. His face was calm and emotionless, waiting patiently to hear more. "And I think," She continued, "that he felt the same. But he always cared more about what people thought of him than anything else in the world, including me. He constantly wanted to be something, someone else and he let that drive ruin whatever we had." She paused again, scratching at the knob of wood nervously. "And now he is someone else, and the person I once fancied isn't there anymore."

When she looked back up again, James' face was the most somber she'd ever seen it. His blue eyes, normally alight with mischief and lightheartedness, were suddenly solemn and serious. He leaned back in his bench, a long breathe escaping through his nose as he did so and closed his eyes a moment before taking his beer and bringing it up to his lips. She watched him, still slumped down on her seat, her hand stretched forward on the table. When he had finally swallowed, deliberately slow, he set the pint back down on the table and moved swiftly as he leaned back in towards her.

"I'm sorry he made the wrong choice." He said gently. She smiled weakly in response at him. "But I think one day Severus is going to wake up and regret all the decisions he's made that led him away from you. He's going to realize at some point that all his ambition wasn't worth anything without you."

The sincerity in his voice made her feel edgy and she sat up straighter in her seat, purely to quench the feeling of needing to move. It felt too personal a conversation for James and her to have. James simply wasn't that close enough to her.

"But I know that," He continued, much too Lily's discomfort, "whether or not that happens, you'll have moved on to greater things and better people. Because that's who you are, and if there's anything I've learned the last seven years, you'll never change."

Her fingers, which were still restlessly picking at the wood, stopped suddenly. She felt a grin creeping up on her cheeks and she eyed him to see the infamous smirk he usually sported on his face, and it only made her grin widen.

"James," she said through light laughter, "that was actually quite nice of you til the end."

He shrugged before giving her a sly wink. "I have my moments."

She stared as he held up his pint to her, gesturing for a cheers. Slowly, and eyeing him curiously, she picked up her own and clanked it against his. They watched each other behind their glasses as they drank heavily to his words. Lily found herself slightly mesmerized by the bright blue shining back at her. When she finally had her fill and let her pint fall to the table, she looked up to find his eyes still on her intensely. Her stomach fluttered with unease.

"Shall we go?" She chirped abruptly, turning to lift her cloak from the seat.

She quickly stood up and threw it around her shoulders before fastening the latch. James stared up at her in confusion at the sudden change in attitude.

"Ah, sure" he said, slowly reaching for his own cloak. He stood up and Lily studied the length of his person, noting his height once again.

"Shall we offer the blokes broken frogs and twisted Wands?" He offered, as his boyish face grinned back at her. He held the bags up in his hands for emphasis.

"The twisted wands are mine." She replied.

XxxxX

A chorus of quills scratched against parchment, echoing through the classroom. Every Seventh Year student had their head faced down, concentrating on the exam before them. The class, a strict Herbology class, focusing on the preparation for the end of the year NEWT exams had been increasingly tedious to keep up in, even for Sirius. Sirius had always chosen his courses based on which ones filled James and Remus' schedules. Up until Seventh Year, he was usually ahead of the class enough to skive off and use his time better by annoying his friends, his true purpose at Hogwarts. But this year was different. This year was actually, hard. He was forced to read through the class books, sometimes even reread them if he didn't understand the first time. It was awful and tiring and forced him to question his very existence. The truly terrible part was that thanks to following James and Remus' lead for so many years, he was now taking classes he probably would've never even bothered with; Herbology was an extraordinary example of just that.

On a good day, Sirius could attempt to pretend to be interested in herbology, even force himself to study and pass the exams. But to ask him to care or concentrate on which temperature a Venomous Tentacula preferred, immediately following the greatest weekend of his life, was simply asking too much. Especially when the cause of that greatness was sitting across the room from him, bowed in concentration. In Sirius' opinion, the importance of the exam grayed immensely when considering the importance of knowing the precise shade of Remus' hair colour.

It wasn't entirely brown, and it certainly wasn't blonde. It was something in the middle, with odd reflections of red hues weaved in and he wanted desperately to run his fingers through it, pulling Remus' head back and devouring his mouth with his own. The very image made Sirius' hands sweat and mouth dry.

He stared across the room at Remus, watching the other boy's head and hair in question, sway lightly back and forth as he wrote diligently. Every now and again, he'd watch Remus use the feathered end of the quill to scratch at his nose, as he picked his head up slightly and held a pensive look before delving back into the exam. Remus was clearly thinking about Venomous Tentaculas and proper care of dragon-hide gloves, while Sirius could only think about ways to ravish him.

His ravishing wants should have been satiated this weekend, but if anything, their time together only fueled a fire Sirius didn't know he had in him. They had snuck off, away from Peter, James, and Lily for the entirety of the last two days, hid away in broom closets and passageways led by the Marauder's Map. Blissfully long hours of endless snogging, clinging, and ravishing took place. They had even gone to the Astronomy Tower for Merlin's sake, which was absolutely primitive, yet they'd enjoyed themselves despite it.

It had all been so chaste though, Sirius now thought in dismay. Although, that hadn't been how he felt during the time in the broom closet he smiled to himself. And the entire weekend long, he had relished in feeling so physically close to Remus, so satisfied with feverish snogging until their faces pulled back puffy and flushed from the contact. Remus' hands had often trailed underneath Sirius' shirt, causing all sorts of heated passion in Sirius. And in the broom closet, oh the blessed broom closet, Remus and Sirius' shirts were tossed aside entirely, and Sirius felt their hearts pounding in his ears as Remus had arched back against the shelves and let Sirius trail kisses down that wonderfully soft chest. It had seemed so wickedly obscene at the time, when he heard the soft gasps and groans that he caused in Remus, but now he wanted more. Now, on Monday, when he was forced apart from the other boy, forced to pretend to still be just friends in the morning, forced to sit three, horribly long, meters away during an exam in Herbology of all things, now their time together looked to be entirely too short and much too decent.

He wanted Remus completely covered under him. He wanted Remus' shirt and bloody trousers off. He wanted to take Remus' hand and lead it to -

"Mr. Black."

Sirius startled and his elbow instantly gave out. The hand that was supporting his wandering mind fell away quickly and Sirius had almost smacked his head against his desk by mistake, but came to just in time to quickly sit up and steady himself. He gripped the edge of this his desk for support and looked up to see Professor Beery glaring down at him, an expression of disappointment Sirius was familiar with, furrowed along his features.

"Mr. Black, there is only thirty minutes remaining to complete the exam. I suggest you stop looking at other students and start looking at the first question you've yet to complete."

Directly behind Professor Beery, Remus was now looking back at him. The boy grinned slyly and arched an eyebrow up in a ridiculously attractive and teasing manner. Sirius nearly smacked his head all over again.

"Mr. Black, are you listening?" Professor Beery said more sternly.

"Y-Yes, Professor." Sirius said, straightening himself once again and taking more effort to bluff a serious expression.

"Please, begin your exam." He said again, using his finger to lightly tap the parchment on Sirius' desk.

Sirius immediately looked down and he refused to allow himself to look up for the next thirty minutes. But after that, he swore to himself, he was going to find Remus and they were going back into that broom closet.

The class ended in a rush of students, words of encouragement from the Professor, and the handing in of flying parchments. Sirius, predictably the last one to finish was also the last one out of the classroom. He shuffled past the lingering students in the hallway as fast as he could, spotting James up ahead in the mix.

"Hullo," he said breathlessly, fumbling to throw his quill and books into his rucksack still. "You see Remus?" He asked, probably a tad too eagerly.

"Merlin, did you actually finish?" James asked, shaking his head at him, the Head boy continued to walk a few steps ahead as Sirius struggled to keep up with him in the crowd of bustling students. "What were you doing that got Beery in a twist?"

"I was merely exercising my right to think." Sirius said with indignation, "The tosser couldn't appreciate my commitment to contemplate."

James laughed over his shoulder, "Commitment to contemplate what exactly?" he asked as he turned and darted through a few more students coming in the opposite direction.

"Why the philosophical nature of Snargaluff pods of course!" Sirius lied, struggling to keep next to the boy.

The hallway was packed with students. Yesterday someone had hexed a first-year muggle born Ravenclaw who'd been trying to find the loo on his way to the Great Hall. Nobody saw who did it, or at least, no one was admitting to seeing it, and the boy was still recovering from some nasty blisters in the Hospital Wing. Considering the fact that not three days prior, a fourth year had been hit in the same corridor, a large portion of the students were now trying to avoid the route altogether.

"Snargaluff pods weren't even a part of the exam" James exclaimed back, "Sirius, you're up to something aren't you?"

Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but didn't get the chance. A hand darting out from an open door he'd been passing, threw itself onto his shoulder and pulled him harshly inside a room. He heard a puzzled "Sirius?" from James, who had likely turned around to find his friend suddenly gone. But the door was quickly shut closed, muffling the hall's noises, before he was turned around and pushed up against the frame.

Remus' lips were on his in seconds. There was a momentary cry of protest that sprang from Sirius' throat before he smelled and tasted the familiar sweetness of the boy now pressed tightly against him. He heard the door lock behind him while Remus' hands grabbed at Sirius' rucksack, flinging it off and letting it landed on the floor roughly. Sirius tried to opened his mouth to say something clever, but Remus didn't let him breathe a word, quickly making sure to shut him up with another hard snog, his hands now framing Sirius' face.

Sirius exhaled into the sensation before allowing a hand to run through the soft blonde, brown, and red flecked hair. He tugged at it gently so that Remus' head tilted back slightly. A deep throated noise escaped Remus' mouth and Sirius gripped harder, leaning his head over the other boy and devouring him just as he'd imagined during that pointless exam. Remus came out of it gasping, bringing himself back to his full height as he reached his hand to Sirius collar. Sirius, satisfied with his accomplishment, tried to rest his forehead against the one in front of him in tender expression, but Remus was having none it. Instead the other boy leaned his head to the side, beginning a series of teasing kisses down Sirius' neck, his teeth purposefully scraping whenever possible.

"You're too obvious" Remus whispered after the third round down Sirius' neck, his lips vibrating against Sirius' skin.

"Mmm?" Sirius managed, his head leaning back against the door and his eyes fluttering closed.

"You can't keep staring." Remus explained into his ear, before he bit it roughly.

"Okay," Sirius breathed out sharply, rather delirious. He closed his eyes as Remus continued his task.

This was not like the broom closet. The broom closet had been led by the deliberate moves and ambitious ideas of Sirius, as had much of the weekend. Remus, always on the side of impenetrable control, had consistently checked his fervor during their trysts. It had drove Sirius wild, half of him desperate to find a way to force Remus to completely unleash, while the other half had relished in the steady and unwavering tease Remus' manners elicited. However, this was something quite different. This was Remus being unrelentingly earnest, and passionate, and impossibly arousing. Quite impossible, Sirius thought with sudden worry.

"Remus," Sirius breathe again, realizing he was getting embarrassingly heated. He put a pathetically weak hand against the other boy's arm, attempting to act as an effort toward restraint, but looking much more like acting on a need of caress.

In answer, Remus' hands yanked at Sirius' Gryffindor tie, tossing it aside much like the rucksack.

"Mm?" Remus mumbled as he began unbuttoning the top of Sirius' shirt, exposing his collarbone. Remus leaned in to smother the area with nipping kisses.

"Nevermind" Sirius groaned back, allowing his eyes to close, telling himself there were plenty of layers of clothing still between them. And this was, after all, the natural way of these things.

Except then Remus took his indifference to continue forward and in a few short breathes Sirius' shirt was entirely open. And a few short breathes after that, Remus had him moved, sitting up on a desk that the other boy had quickly knocked a few items off of. Sirius' legs wrapped instinctively around the other boy and that was when he thought it had to be quite obvious to the both of them they there was an equal measure of gratification being found, despite the layers. But unlike the times before, when this sort of thing exposed itself and they bashfully slowed their movements in unison, Remus, instead, pressed against it.

Sirius, overwhelmed in sensation, barely noticed when Remus swiftly leaned him back, allowing their bodies to align as Remus lifted himself up and on top of him. Sirius couldn't think, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't do much of anything really because to his utter, euphoric astonishment, Remus was still pressing against him. And in their newest position, those layers were no longer of any thought because Sirius could still feel a wonderful amount of friction through them.

For a moment, Sirius allowed himself to be completely consumed by it, distantly listening to the soft, arousing noises coming from Remus. The other boy continued to move in a ceaseless rhythm, all the while covering Sirius in heavy kisses. But much, much too soon – embarrassingly too soon – Sirius felt a familiar bubble of escalation.

"I-" He tried, but Remus kissed him passionately silent again and the feeling only increased Sirius' frenzy, "Remus-" he tried again, coming up for air. "I really –"

But then, it was too late. He arched, Remus moved, and the moment came to an abrupt surrender.

Sirius heard himself make a soft, high pitched groan, his hands gripping at the other boy desperately close. Remus stilled and Sirius felt his chest heaving as he let the glow of abandonment pulse through him. His breathes were heavy with undocked pleasure and there was a defining moment of stillness before Remus slowly lifted his head up and stared down at him.

"Did you just-" Remus hesitated, the intensity in his eyes just moments before, now disappearing.

Sirius, still lost in elation, could only concentrate on the state of Remus' appearance. The other boy's hair was completely mussed and his lips swollen from embrace. His entire face shined with a coat of sweat that amplified the deep flush running across his cheeks. Sirius stared and worshiped the sight in a daze.

But all of a sudden Sirius' arms were empty and Remus had moved off of him. The other boy seemed to be scrabbling to gain composure, his hands moving to tuck in the shirt that had ridden up, before moving to try to right his hair.

Sirius slowly sat up after him, the feeling of charged happiness now disappearing as he watched Remus' reaction in confusion. He looked on as a clear panic in Remus' eyes stared back at him, the other boy's stance suddenly protective and much too far away. Sirius felt strange, unsure of what they'd done wrong, what he'd done wrong.

He made the mistake of following Remus' gaze down and saw to his horror the result of their excitement blatantly spotted on his trousers. His face reddened in shame and he quickly reached for his wand. He looked to find Remus still frozen in place and Sirius felt another wave of humiliation eat at him as he realized his wand was in his rucksack by the door.

He swallowed, trying to gain some dignity.

"Remus," he started, forgetting his wand and trying to ignore the ill feeling in his stomach, "I think that it's quite normal for these things to…" he paused, swallowing again, "escalate." Remus' eyes only stared and Sirius wished he'd say something, "Isn't it?" he offered.

He watched as Remus' face reddened and he shifted his feet on the floor. "Yes, I mean-…of course, I realize that…" he finally said and Sirius breathed out in slight relief, "Merlin," Remus continued, throwing a hand into his hair "I just mean, well-"

"It was rubbish?" Sirius interrupted, a substantial amount of his insecurity dripping through the statement. He gestured with his head to the untimely evidence. Remus' lips quirked up at the motion, the first small smile playing on his face since Herbology class.

"No," He answered, sensing Sirius' discomfort, "That bit was not rubbish." And he moved closer again, repositioning himself inches away in front of Sirius, as if to prove it. "I only meant," Remus paused, the smile disappearing. He placed his hands gently on either side of Sirius' shoulders, "Did you want that to happen?"

Sirius looked back at him in complete confusion, "Is that a serious question?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

"Yes, of course it is," Remus exclaimed, his one hand playing with a piece of stray thread. Sirius watched him visibly struggle to meet his eyes as he fidgeted, "Sirius, I could barely control myself. It's terrifying to me that I could somehow hurt you when I'm like this."

"Like what? Randy?" Sirius asked in astonishment.

"No," Remus replied with a bit of exasperation, "so close to the moon."

Sirius couldn't help but smile with dawning understanding and his heart swelled with loving emotion for the boy in front of him. He really should have seen this self-doubt coming. He grabbed Remus' fretting hand and held it affectionately between them. He allowed his thumb to gently caress across Remus' palm, trying to rid of the nervous twitch there.

"Remus," He said in earnest, and the other boy finally looked up to meet his eyes, "This has nothing do to with your lycanthropy."

"Doesn't it?" Remus replied with worry.

"No, it absolutely does not." He said seriously, "And you didn't hurt me, you got me bloody off." He saw Remus shake his head lightly, the small smile beginning to emerge again. "Can I be completely honest?" He asked, watching Remus intently.

"Please."

"This might pain you to admit," he continued, "but you are a completely normal, ordinary, sack of raging teenage hormones."

Any fear still held in Remus' face disappeared as a genuine grin and light laugh spread across his face. "Raging?" He asked playfully, an eyebrow raising.

"Indeed." Sirius answered, smiling brightly "And who could blame you? Look at me."

Then Remus really laughed, the hand still on his shoulder moving to cup Sirius' face. "You're a real tosser, aren't you?"

"Yes." Sirius said in answer and Remus laughed again before leaning down and softly kissing him. When Remus pulled back, he let their foreheads lean against each other's as Sirius had once tried against the doorframe. This time Remus allowed it.

"I'm so terrified of blotching this up." Remus whispered to him.

"Runting against me is not going to blotch this up."

Remus pulled his head back then, visibly unpleased with the words. "I really wish you weren't so crass sometimes." He said.

"Liar." Sirius replied, as he wrapped his legs around the other boy and pulled him close again. He straightened to reach and pulled Remus into another snog, deeper this time. A few moments later, Remus pulled back again, the red flush back in full and Sirius silently congratulated himself.

"If this really has nothing to do with the wolf," Remus began again, clearly fixated on the topic, "then how have you been able to control the…raging sack of hormones?"

Sirius smiled and raised his eyebrow in question, "Are you mad? I haven't been. Did you see what happened five minutes ago?"

Remus grinned back, "Yes, but up until now you've been perfectly decent."

"Should I tell you what I've been doing in the bathroom every morning?" He quipped, and he watched in delight as Remus' face flushed a much deeper red, his kissable mouth opening slightly by the words. "Or…" Sirius continued, not for a second letting this moment escape him, "how about that during this entire conversation I've been trying to find a way to return the favor?" He let his hands wander down Remus' chest, truly wander, until he finally settled his hand against the lure between Remus' legs. Remus gave a gaggled whimper as Sirius gripped.

"Sir-" Remus began, but Sirius, mimicking the other boy's technique, closed his mouth with a hard kiss, his hand moving in slow cadence against the cloth.

"Tell me to control myself." Sirius said heatedly, as he tugged away. He traced his fingers to the top button of Remus' trousers and hesitated, waiting for an answer.

"Please," Remus panted, a maddening color taking full control of his features, "don't." And that was all the encouragement Sirius needed.