Red vs. Blue vs. Saren

Part the First: Eden Prime

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"Dude, this sucks," Private Negative Junior First Class Dexter Grif complained to his friend, Simmons. "I mean, we beat the Director of Project Freelancer, finally find a place to just stay indefinitely, and what happens? More fucking Freelancers dragging us onto a ship that nobody knows how to fly! Hell, we don't even know who the guy commanding the ship is!"

Simmons sighed. "Grif, look, the fact that we aren't dead right now is kind of a good thing," he replied to his irate compatriot.

Grif crossed his arms. "Yeah, well, I ain't doing shit unless I meet the guy in charge."

Simmons rolled his eyes. "Grif, you don't do anything anyway!" he cried out, waving his arms in the air. Grif smirked smugly when the ship's P.A. went off.

"All personnel, please report to the bridge. I say again, all personnel, please report to the bridge."

Simmons turned to Grif. "Well, looks like we get to meet the man in charge," Simmons said. Grif just groaned as they walked out of their admittedly shared cabin. About five minutes later, the two of them were just about to enter the bridge when they heard voices. One they knew to be Carolina's, the other…well, who knew? Creeping to the door, the two former RED simulation soldiers listened on what was being said.

:\_/:

Carolina was, in a word, pissed. "What do you mean I'm not in command? In case you didn't notice, I was the best Freelancer there was in the program!" she yelled at the man across from her. Said man crossed his arms and glared at her.

"Yes, and you were also arrogant, stubborn, and far too proud to admit defeat. I've read the reports Carolina," he said back to her. "And to top it all off, you've never had to command a ship before."

Carolina continued glaring at the man. "So what, you think I'm not able to command a ship?" she asked furiously. The man shrugged.

"Frankly, yes. You're too hotheaded, and you've only led what, a squad? I had to lead well over three hundred people on a ship bought second hand," he told her. "That is why you will be in command when all of the reasonable people are dead, or until you learn to control yourself. Because this is my ship, and the moment you act like an even bigger ass than you already are, then I will punish you accordingly. Am I understood Agent Carolina?"

Carolina growled. "Yeah, whatever," she said angrily before slamming herself onto a nearby fold-up chair. From a nearby command table, a series of holograms popped up. Chief among them was Church, ever the stalwart pessimist. Next was a golden colored A.I., again looking like Church, but armed with designated marksman rifle.

"Sir, the first of our new crew is just outside. May I let them in?" the A.I. asked.

The man nodded. "Yeah Tau, let them in," he told the A.I. Tau nodded and unlocked the doors to the bridge, revealing Grif and Simmons standing there, looking like the kid with a hand in the cookie jar. "Well, what are you waiting, for an engraved invitation? Get the fuck in here!" the man barked out. Grif and Simmons complied immediately, the two of them sitting down in the chairs furthest away from the still pissed as hell Carolina. A few minutes passed, and the rest of the ship's occupants entered the room. Sarge, Tucker, Washington, Junior, Donut, Caboose…Caboose was still in his room for somehow sending a fully functional toilet out of the airlock using nothing but a box of crayons. Grif's sister was currently in her room, doing who knows what. Last but not least, in came one last soldier. A former Freelancer, to be precise.

Carolina rolled her eyes at the sight of the new Freelancer. "Oh great, how'd you manage to get Agent New Jersey?" she asked the ship's captain.

Grif looked to Simmons. "New Jersey? Damn, he must have had shit for luck getting in with a name like that," he commented.

New Jersey looked injured at the jab at his name. "Hey, I made the mistake of putting down New Jersey as my homestate! It's nothing to make fun of people about!" he told Grif.

The ship captain rolled his eyes. "Hey, listen up," he said, silencing all the chatter in the room. "I know all of you didn't exactly want to be here, and I'm sorry. But frankly, the UNSC is cracking down on independent ships like mine, especially since this is a fully functional Paris-class frigate," he explained. "And because of that, crews are hard to come by. Now, I've been hearing rumors from UNSC troops about a bunch of Sim troops who have a knack for getting into trouble, and even managed to kill Agent Maine, which oh by the way, I commend you for doing that. So, I did a bit of looking, and here you are."

"That's great and all that you think we're good for ya," Sarge said. "But we don't even know who you are, so forgive us for not trusting you."

The man nodded. "An excellent point Sergeant. Alright, so you all want to know who the hell I am. Alright. I am former UNSC Army Captain Wade Fox, from Reach's 343rd Infantry Group. I know how to use every single weapon in the armory down below decks, and I expect you to do the same," Fox said. "I am also a former Freelancer."

"What?!" cried out Carolina, Wash, and Jersey at the same time. "Which agent were you?" Wash asked before the other two could react.

Fox shrugged. "Georgia, born in New Alexandria."

Wash's eye twitched behind his visor. "Y-you're Agent Georgia? The guy who got lost in space because of his thrusters? That Georgia?"

Fox looked at Wash dumbly. "How many Agent Georgia's were there, cause last I checked, I was the only one in that piece of shit program," he told him.

Wash looked at Fox. "Dude, I had nightmares about being spaced like you!"

"Not my problem."

"Sir, shall I prepare the Slipspace Drive?" asked yet another A.I. However, unlike Church and Tau, this A.I. was distinctly…feminine. And not armored. Fox turned and smiled at the A.I.

"Yeah Talya, go ahead," Fox answered. The A.I. nodded and flickered for a moment.

"Oh, and I've taken the liberty of scanning each member of our new crew so that their new suits of armor fit," Talya added. Fox smiled. "Great, and while we're on the subject of the new crew, I'm going to be giving you your new roles on the ship."

Donut perked up. "Really? What are they? Are they great roles?" he asked. Fox shrugged.

"Depends on how you view them. You for example are in the mess," Fox told Donut; the pink armored soldier slumped and started walking out of the bridge, knowing that he was going to be in the kitchen for a long time. Fox turned to look back at the rest of the Blood Gulch crew. "Alright, the rest of you are as follows:

"Grif, navigation and helm. You crash this ship…and I'll leave you to think of a painful way to suffer.

"Simmons, engineering. You'll be helping out Lopez with the actual workmanship.

"Sergeant, you'll be right there on the weapons console, and in charge of the missile pods, the MAC, and the SHIVAs.

"Tucker, communications. Your experience in that particular field is most appreciated.

"Doc, you know where you need to go.

"Washington, you have a good head on your shoulders. You'll be my second in command until I'm dead, or I find someone better.

"Everyone else, you will be this ships Marines and ground attack team. Now, all of you report to your stations, we have a universe to fly through!" Fox barked out. The crew scrambled to their stations, with the actual bridge crew getting a crash course in how the ship worked by both Tau and Talya.

Minutes later, Fox smiled as he watched his crew get ready for a new adventure. "Okay Grif, is the Slipspace Drive ready?"

Grif nodded. "Um, yeah, drive at one hundred percent capacity sir," he answered. "Ready to go at your command."

Fox nodded. "Good. Talya, throw in some random coordinates, and Grif, after you get confirmation, punch it."

Tayla smiled at her captain. "Okay Fox, we have coordinates laid in, and Grif, when you're ready," she said sweetly. Grif gulped as he kept a finger hovered over the button. Closing his eyes, Grif pressed the button. And in seconds, the ship slipped into blue rupture in space. And then, the primary buffer panel flew off in the middle of transit.

][][][

Jane Shepherd looked out of the Normandy bridge's viewport as Joker rattled off a systems diagnostic. "Thrusters, check. Navigation, check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift just under 1500 K," the pilot said after taking the experimental frigate through the Mass Relay.

"1500 is good. Your captain will be pleased," said the only alien in the room. Shepherd glanced over at the form of Nihlus Kyrik, one of the Council Spectres that was currently onboard to oversee the Normandy's shakedown run.

Joker waited for the alien to leave the bridge before saying to the guy next him, "I hate that guy."

The co-pilot looked over at Joker in confusion. "Nihlus gave you a compliment…so you hate him?" he asked.

Joker rolled his eyes. "You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way to the bathroom?" he asked snarkily. "That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible!" Joker focused his attention back his screen. "Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid."

Kaiden Alenko, resident biotic expert on the Normandy, looked at Joker as if he was his little brother. "You are paranoid. The Council helped fund this project, they have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

Joker barked out a laugh. "Yeah, that's the official story. But only idiots believe the original story."

Shepherd then took this time to put in her two cents, plus scare the living shit out of Joker. "True, they usually don't have Spectres inspect ships on their shakedown runs."

Joker took that comment in stride. "So there's more going on here than the captain's letting on," the pilot said, almost as if he were discussing the weather on Earth and not a potential conspiracy theory.

Almost as if some higher power had a sense of humor, the captain's voice called over the P.A. system. "Joker, status report!"

Joker sat up in his seat. "Just cleared the Mass Relay captain. Stealth systems are engaged, and everything looks solid," he replied.

"Good. Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."

Joker nodded. "Aye aye Captain. Better brace yourself sir, I think Nihlus is headed your way."

The barest hint of humor came through Captain Anderson's voice as he told Joker, "He's already here. Oh, and tell Commander Shepherd to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing."

Joker looked over his shoulder at Shepherd. "You got that Commander?"

Shepherd nodded. "Yes sir, I understand. On my way now sir." The commander left the two pilots to bicker like the brothers that they weren't and went off to the communications room near the stern of the vessel. On the way, she allayed the fears of the ship's navigator, had a brief morale boosting talk with a Corporal Jenkins, and dropped off her father's vintage pistol in her locker. Stepping into the room, Jane saw the distinct armor of a certain Spectre down there in the room itself.

"Ah, Commander, I was hoping to speak to you," Nihlus told Jane when he saw her. Jane nodded.

"Okay Nihlus, what do you want to talk about?" she asked the Turian. Nihlus smiled.

"Good, you're straight to the point. Well, it's about the planet we're coming to. Eden Prime. I've heard it's a paradise."

Shepherd shrugged. "I wouldn't know personally," she told the Turian truthfully. "But yes, it is a shining example of a human colony."

Nihlus looked deep into Shepherd's sapphire eyes. "Yes, but how well can you defend it?" the Spectre asked cryptically. Shepherd was about to angrily ask Nihlus why he had the balls to ask that of her when Captain Anderson walked in.

"Shepherd, as you may have guessed, this isn't a normal shakedown cruise," the older gent said, not beating around the bush. Shepherd nodded.

"With all due respect," she told her commanding officer, "The fact that we have a Council Spectre on board didn't help with the secrecy much." Jane jerked her thumb at Nihlus. "After all, he sticks out on this ship like a sore thumb."

Nihlus chuckled as Anderson continued. "Shepherd, the reason that the Normandy is going to Eden Prime is because a few days ago, we discovered a beacon. A Prothean beacon. The colony has done some preliminary work on it, but their facilities simply are not up for the task. Therefor, we are to take the beacon to the Citadel for further analysis."

"However, the reason that Nihlus is here is because of you." Jane looked at the two of them incredulously.

"You're kidding me, right? I mean, since when has a Turian ever recommended a human for the Spectres?" she asked the two.

Nihlus shrugged. "I don't care that you're human Shepherd. Just that you get the job done." Before anybody could speak, Joker interrupted them.

"Captain, we have a message from the colony, its urgent!" the pilot exclaimed.

"Patch it through," Anderson ordered. The trio stood there and watched the message. Although technically, it was nothing more than footage from a helmet cam. It showed a few Alliance Marines fighting, but fighting what? It was near the end of the 'message' that they something weird. "Freeze at 38 seconds," the captain ordered. The video soon reversed, then stopped at the indicated time, showing the anomaly. It was a ship, but certainly not anything that the Citadel Council had ever registered.

"This mission just got a lot more complicated," Anderson said gravely.

"Sir, sensors are picking up a few ships in orbit, a couple of cruisers and…holy shit!" yelled Joker.

"What is it?" Anderson asked his pilot, worried.

"Sir, one of those ships is an unknown of dreadnaught tonnage!"

Shepherd's eyes went wide. Dreadnaughts were rare, and unfortunately, humanity had precious few. And all dreadnaughts known to the Council were carefully monitored, so as to not upset the balance of military power. For there to be an unknown was…unsettling.

"Shepherd, you'll be leading the ground team. Secure that beacon by any means," Anderson said, staring at her. "Now suit up."

"Yessir!" Shepherd barked, running to her locker. If only she knew what was about to happen to her….

[][][]

"Grif, status report!"

The orange armored soldier glanced at his control panel. "We just had a power surge in the Slipspace Drive sir!" he explained. "I don't know what the fuck happened!"

Fox growled as he turned to Tucker. "We picking up any chatter?" he asked.

Tucker shrugged. "I don't know, let me check," he told the somewhat angry ship captain. After about a few seconds, Tucker nodded. "Yeah, I'm getting something, bearing 300 by 50, I'd say about ten minutes away if we hit the gas hard."

Fox looked to Grif, who simply said, "Yessir, 300 by 50, coming up."

Sarge sat up. "Uh, sir, want me to arm the weapons, just in case?" he asked.

Fox nodded. "Do it," he told the sergeant. "Who knows what the hell we're going to find here." Turning to Wash, he said, "Wash, give me an update when we get there, I'm going to get the landing group ready."

Wash nodded. "Yes sir, understood," he replied. Fox walked out of the bridge and started heading to the armory.

"Talya, tell Carolina and Jersey to meet me in the number one armory," he said to the A.I.

The ship captain could hear the A.I. giggle. "Sure thing big bro," she said. Fox smiled and went into said armory, where upon Talya flicked to existence on a nearby holo-tank. "They're on their way," she told him. Fox shrugged as he stepped onto his armor ring.

"Thanks," he told her, just before the machine went to work. First to come on were the boots and leg armor, the flat, angular panels fitting themselves onto Fox's form. Next, or maybe it was the same time, Fox could never tell, came the arm guards, the same that came from the MJOLNIR GEN-II Recruit armor, and they soon strapped themselves to his arms. The mechanical ring tilted him up now, so that it could put his chest armor on. Just as the armor ring dropped Fox to the floor, Carolina and Jersey came in. "The two of you, suit up. Talya has already gotten the armor you need ready," he ordered. Carolina glared at him, but was silent as she went over to the ring and got suited up. Jersey looked over to Fox.

"Hey Georgia," he said. "Can we bring our A.I. partners?" Fox tilted his head as he picked up his LOCUS helmet.

"You have one?"

Jersey nodded. "Yeah, I have Mu." Without prompt, said A.I. came into being next to Jersey's now armored head, the digital being looking at Jersey's EVA helmet visor.

"Hi, I'm Mu, or as Emil likes to call me, Wynonna," the A.I. said happily, the fragment's voice identifying it as…female. Both Fox and Carolina stared at the fragment in confusion. "What?" Wynonna asked. "Do I have a glitch in my data?"

"You're a girl…" Fox said dumbly. Wynonna nodded.

"Yes, but why are you looking at me like that?"

"Um, maybe it's because the Director never had a feminine side to him?" Fox blurted out. Wynonna chuckled.

"Yes, well, there are things about the Director that not even his daughter Caroline knew," Wynonna said with a smirk. Fox decided to end that line of conversation before it escalated into something awkward.

"Look, I don't care what you are, I just want to know if you're able to help in a fight," the man said sharply. Wynonna nodded.

"Yeah, I can do some wireless hacking," she said as Jersey stepped down from the ring, Carolina following suit.

Fox jerked his thumb to the weapons racks behind him. "Grab what you need. We're facing unknown hostiles, so pack up on ammo and keep your kit balanced. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir!" the two other Freelancers shouted before grabbing their weapons. In Emil's case, it was a Covenant Needle Rifle, a Needler, an Energy Sword, and a pistol and grenades. Carolina stuck with a pistol and plasma rifle. Rolling his eyes, Fox grabbed an M7S SMG, a pistol, grenades, and a battle rifle.

"Alright, head down to the Pelicans, I need a sitrep from Wash," Fox ordered before putting his helmet on. Carolina and Jersey ran off to the hanger, while Fox went back up to the bridge. Looking about, Fox asked Grif, "Are we in range yet?"

Grif nodded. "Yeah, the planet's down to our left and…what the hell are those?" The bridge crew looked out the window and several ships, certainly not of Covenant design floating in orbit above the planet. Most of them were rather organic in appearance, but white-hulled and windowless. The other one though…

"Hey sir, does that look like a squid to you?" Sarge asked. Fox nodded.

"Yeah, it does look a bit like dinner. But right now, I need to know where that signal is coming from," Fox replied. Tucker took that as his cue.

"It's coming down from the surface, all frequencies. It's a distress call sir," Tucker said quickly. "Marking the coordinates now." From the tactical station next to Fox, a holographic planet popped up, and right above the equator was the location of the signal.

"Alright, Washington, you are now in command until I get back, or I'm dead. Tau, bring the CIWS online and ready the Onagers for ground support. Talya, keep us posted groundside of what's happening. Sarge, Wash, return fire only. We don't want to start a war," Fox ordered as he walked out.

"Yes sir, will do," Wash said just before the doors closed.

Fox quickly went into the hanger bay, ran into a nearby Pelican, and was pleased to see that Carolina had taken the time to get it ready for work. "Ready to go sir," Carolina said unhappily. Fox strapped himself down into a seat.

"Good. Land about two minutes out from the signal, we'll make the rest of the trip on foot. Waash and the rest will provide us with insertion cover and ground-support," Fox said. Carolina nodded and without further ado, flew the Pelican out of the hanger bay.

[][][]

"Ship perimeter secure Commander," Kaiden said as the team hit the dirt. Shepherd nodded as she pulled out her M8 Avenger Assault Rifle and scanned the area for targets. Signaling, she, Kaiden, and Corporal Jenkins walked down the road, keeping their eyes peeled.

After a few minutes, Nihlus spoke on the radio. "Shepherd, keep your guard up. The colony got hit hard, I'm not seeing any survivors," said the Turian. Shepherd took a deep and sighed.

"Understood. Shepherd out," she replied. The trio of soldiers soon came to a field. Stopping behind some rocks, Shepherd signaled for Jenkins to move up. But as Jenkins did so, a trio of flying robots came out and started firing. The only reason that Jenkins wasn't turned to mulch straight away was because he ducked behind another group of rocks. As it was, his legs were still torn up beyond all help. Furious, Shepherd popped out of cover and fired a long burst at one drone, sending to the ground in flames. Another drone aimed at her, but was taken out when a biotic field enveloped it and slammed it into the ground. The last drone was about to flee when Jenkins, ever a young, professional Marine, took aim and fired up the drone's tailpipe. The drone had just hit the ground in flame when Shepherd stopped by Jenkins. "Jenkins, how bad is it?" she asked him.

Jenkins smirked in pain and adrenaline. "Not bad Commander, I just can't feel my legs all that much," he told her. Shepherd shook her head.

"You need Dr. Chakwas. Kaiden, keep him safe, I'll keep going. The mission comes first right now," she said. Kaiden nodded and radioed for a pick-up from Joker as Shepherd continued on her way. Shepherd went through a bit of woodland at the top of the hill, saw some more drones, and fired. Her radio then came to life, with yet another report from Nihlus.

"Shepherd, we have a problem. Those missing colonists, well, I found them. They're…they're in pretty bad shape. Seeing some drones coming my way, I'm going off radar for a bit, I'll keep you posted, Nihlus said over the comm before cutting it off. Sighing, Shepherd sprinted towards the dig site. She soon came to a clearing, and saw another Marine, pink armored no less, taking on a pair of robotic troopers guarding a colonist…a colonist who was impaled on a spike. Shepherd quickly killed one bot while the other Marine killed the other. The Marine looked at Shepherd and saluted.

"Gunnery Chief Williams of the 212th, at your service Commander!" she said loudly. Shepherd nodded.

"What's the situation here Williams?" Shepherd asked, eager to know what had almost killed one of her men. Williams shook her head in disbelief.

"The Geth attacked us. First thing after three hundred years in the Perseus Veil and they attack us for that Prothean beacon that we have. I think I'm the only one left in my unit ma'am," Williams said dejectedly. Shepherd gave the woman a light punch to the shoulder.

"Then we'll make the Geth pay for every man lost today Williams. Think you can do that?" Shepherd asked. Williams grinned ferally as she hefted her assault rifle.

"I know I can Commander." The two Alliance troops dashed off as fast as they could to the dig site, whereupon Ashley gaped at the vacant expanse of dirt in astonishment. "It was right here! Dammit, they must have moved it!" she told Shepherd. Shepherd growled as her radio clicked to life.

"What now Nihlus?" she asked.

The Turian sighed. "Change of plans on my end. I'm going to the spaceport, see if the beacon went over there. We'll link up over there," he said nervously. Shepherd huffed.

"Fine. Shepherd out." Turning to Ashley, Shepherd waved her forward, heading up a ramp. Once the two of them got to the top, they were given a rather grisly surprise.

"God, what did the Geth do to them?" Ashley asked as she and Shepherd walked slowly towards the spikes with former colonists on them, now mere husks of their former selves. Without warning, the spikes retracted, dropping the now active husks to the ground. The husks took one look at Shepherd and Ashley and roared, charging straight at them.

"Take them out!" Shepherd shouted as she and Ashley started firing into the husks. They had managed to kill most of them, but one came right next to Shepherd and knocked her to the ground. Snarling, it was just about to tear out Shepherd's throat when it slumped onto her, dead. Shoving it off, the Alliance Commander noticed an odd, pink crystal sticking out of the husk's head. "Weird," she muttered before walking over to Ashley next to a shack.

[][][]

"Dammit Jersey, are you trying to give away our position?" Carolina asked angrily as she snapped the neck of the Geth squirming in her arms. Jersey, for his part, looked abashed.

"She was in trouble! And well, who knows, we might meet her again in the future," he said, trying to explain himself. Carolina was about to retort angrily when Fox beat her to the punch.

"Jersey, good as your intentions were, you could have easily exposed our position," he told the younger Freelancer. Jersey hung his head down and walked towards the edge of the hill they were on. "However, you did save someone's teammate, so I suppose I can let you off the hook for that…mostly," Fox added.

Jersey sighed as he lifted his Needle Rifle back up. [I thought you did a good thing,] Wynonna said through their shared link. Jersey laughed humorlessly.

"Yeah, well, I'm still just a rookie," he told her, looking down the scope of his rifle. Sweeping it by the spaceport, he saw a pair of aliens, talking. They seemed to know each other rather well, judging by their body language. One of them turned away, and the other…raised its pistol to execute the other! Jersey made his decision in a split second. He fired three rounds as fast he could, and saw with some satisfaction that two of the three crystals hit the alien in the arm. The last one, however, rebounded off the ground and hit what was apparently a fuel tank. Reason being, it blew up, sending the two aliens flying in two different directions. The would be killer went one way, and landed near some of those robots Jersey, Carolina, and Fox had been fighting since they hit the dirt. The other crashed into a crate and lay still.

"Dammit Jersey, what the hell did you just do?!" Carolina growled angrily, yanking the young Freelancer up into the air. Jersey was literally at a loss for words, mostly because Carolina was choking him. Thankfully, he didn't need to be choked for long as Fox punched Carolina in the face, making the aqua-blue colored Freelancer drop him.

"Carolina, be glad I'm not going to shoot you dead where you stand right now," Georgia said darkly. "Jersey, I fully expect a detailed mission report after we get back to the ship. Now, since we obviously have problems working with each other, we are all going back. No questions, no delays, am I understood?"

Jersey gulped and nodded while Carolina simply glared at Fox venomously. Fox simply waited as the two of them headed towards him. Turning around, the ex-Freelancer led the other two back to the Pelican. Suddenly, Wash's voice came over the radio.

"Umm, Georgia, we have a problem up here," Wash said, only slightly panicked. Fox rolled his eyes.

"Oh? And what is the problem? My ship going to blow up?"

"No, the robots are about to shoot us."

"Then you shoot them right back!" Fox told him sternly, just as the Geth cruisers fired at his ship.

][][][

"Oh shit!" Grif cried out as he frantically tapped the multitude of buttons in front of him, hoping that he could get the ship out of the line of fire of the unknown vessels. And for the most part, he succeeded. Except for the one Disruptor Missile that hit them. The ship lurched, and Simmons went off on his status report.

"Hull still intact! That thing didn't really do much did it?" he asked. Wash shook his head.

"Apparently not. Sarge, arm missile pods A through E and target the largest ship they have with the MAC, Tau, you help him out!" Wash ordered. "Grif, see if you can't minimize our profile."

"Yes Wash!" the two RED soldiers said quickly, going about their orders. Sarge quickly armed the missile pods and armed the MAC, and targeted the Geth Dreadnaught with it. Grif, on the other hand, was making sure that the crazy robots didn't shoot the ship full of holes. He still remembered the threat Fox gave him.

"Missiles armed, MAC at 98% charge!" Sarge cried out. Wash twitched.

"Fire! Fire it now!" Wash shouted. Sarge did so, and gladly. He just wished he was using his shotgun.

[][][]

"Captain, the Geth are firing at the dreadnaught!" Joker exclaimed as he kept the Normandy in orbit around Eden Prime. Anderson looked worried.

"And the status of the dreadnaught?" he asked the pilot. One of the bridge crew spoke up.

"Sir, the ship looks like it has taken minimal damage, and…sir, the ship is powering up something, I'm detecting a strong magnetic field coming off its bow!" The crew watched as what appeared to be missiles flew off of the dreadnaught, each trailing an easy to find trail of smoke. Seconds later, just as the missiles tore the Geth cruisers apart, the dreadnaught fired…something. The only thing that Joker, Anderson, and the bridge crew saw was a lance of light streak from the bow of the dreadnaught and tunnel through the Geth dreadnaught. Moments later, the eezo core of the Geth ship went critical and exploded.

Joker looked over his shoulder at Anderson. "Sir, think we should, oh I don't know, call them and tell them that we're not interested in shooting them?" he asked. Anderson only nodded.

"Unknown vessel, this is the SSV Normandy, broadcasting on all channels, please respond," Joker asked over the comm. A few seconds later, they received a response.

"This is the UNSC Heavy Frigate 'Grace like Rain,' how can we be of service?" asked the person who Anderson presumed was in command of the ship. Although, the fact that they were using a frigate with dreadnaught firepower was more than a bit startling to Anderson.

"This is Captain David Anderson, of the Systems Alliance. What is your name?" Anderson asked.

"My name is…David. David Washburn, of Project Freelancer. What the hell is the Systems Alliance anyway?"

Anderson frowned. "You don't know what the Systems Alliance is?"

"No. Should I?"

Anderson sighed. "Yes. It's the government of all human colonies and Earth," he explained. He was rather surprised at the cry of 'Bullshit!' that came from the other end of the comm.

"Tucker shut up! This guy outranks me almost as much as Georgia!" cried out Wash.

"Where is this 'Georgia?'" Anderson asked.

"He's coming back from the ground, why?" Wash asked back, just as Joker got a call from the ground.

"SR-1 Normandy, this is Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212th, requesting immediate medevac! Shepherd is down, and so is the Spectre! Both are unconscious, and there's a Turian pistol with a pink crystal stuck in it!"

"We'll be right there to pick you up! Just hang in there for a few minutes!" Joker said as he eased the Normandy into a gentle nosedive to the surface.

"Captain Anderson, do you need assistance with this? After all, the crystal your trooper described sounds like something that one of our guys shoots," Wash said. Anderson thought about it for a second, then made his choice.

"Yes. Once we have our troops onboard, we need you to follow us to the Citadel, over in the Serpentine Nebula," Anderson said.

"Can you provide us with the coordinates?" asked a newcomer. "I am I guess you can say Lieutenant Fox, commander of this vessel."

Anderson chuckled. "Yes, we can send the coordinates to you. Joker, do it," he ordered. Joker nodded, and seconds later, Anderson heard Fox grunt in appreciation.

"Thanks. We'll see you there in about, if our calculations are correct, two days, give or take a few hours."

Joker barked in laughter. "Good grief, is your eezo core that inefficient?" he asked.

"What the hell is eezo?"

Joker grimaced. "Are you serious?! Eezo is what fuels all FTL travel!" he said in shock, leveling the Normandy in time to pick up a severely wounded Jenkins and Kaidan.

"…Do you guys not experiment at all with other ways of travel?" Fox asked. Anderson could almost hear the look of 'Are you kidding me?'

"You can argue that with the Council when we get to the Citadel," Joker said as he moved over to where Ashley was guarding a pair of immobile soldiers…and a destroyed Prothean beacon. "Well cap," Joker said, "Looks like this mission went south pretty quick."

Anderson shook his head. "Joker, cut the chatter. Once Shepherd and Nihlus are in the Medbay, I want you to take us to the relay and take us to the Citadel, now. Lieutenant Fox, if you can follow us to the best of your ability."

"Sure thing. I just hope when you said relay, you weren't talking about that God-ugly glowing tuning fork thingamajig," Fox said humoredly.

Anderson nodded. "Yes, that is the relay we're talking about." There was a pregnant pause as Fox digested that little tidbit of information.

"Well, isn't that just great," groaned yet another voice. "We have to get to a giant glowing tuning fork. Oh well. Better than a back-talking bomb, or hey, even the Meta!"

"Grif, shut up and get us close to that thing. Sarge, power down the weapons. Tucker, keep the comms up. Lopez, how are the engines doing?"

"Engines are fine sir. The mental capacities of your bridge crew leave something to be desired however," replied a robotic sounding voice in Spanish. Joker looked at Anderson and shrugged.

"Sir, Chakwas says that Shepherd and Nihlus are secure, moving to the relay," Joker said looking at his control panel. Anderson simply stood there as the Normandy zoomed over to the relay, with the blocky form of the 'Grace like Rain' hanging next to it.

"Inputting mass differentials, calculating trajectory, and we are good to go sir," Joker reported.

"I really hope this thing doesn't kill us all," complained Grif as the he inputted his own calculations for the relay jump.

"Grif, shut up or I'm going to initiate Plan Foxtrot Five!" retorted another guy with a thick Texas accent.

"Sarge, you don't even have your shotgun, so that's kind of a moot threat, don't you think?" Grif replied cheekily.

"Stow it you two. We have a giant tuning fork to use, and some guests to keep entertained," Fox said irritably.

Anderson spoke up. "Agreed. Joker, proceed with jump on my mark." Joker nodded as he prepped the Normandy for jump. "Commence jump in five, four, three, ready, steady, JUMP!" In an instant, both the Normandy and the Grace disappeared in a flash of light. However, if one listened close enough, they could have heard a brief shout of, "OH GOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" before the Grace jumped.

[][][]

End of Part the First: Eden Prime

Next up: Part the Second: Citadel

:\_/:

Well everybody, this is the author with an important announcement.

I need help.

While I do consider myself a fairly decent author, I know when I might be over my head in what field I'm trying to write. Seeing as Mass Effect is a very popular game, and Red vs. Blue quite insane, it might be a bit difficult for me to merge the two together. I borrowed a pair of characters from a fic called "Mass Effect 2: The Sleeping Soldier", and they are most certainly making an wonderful appearance.

Now the questions remain: who is Fox? Why did I keep Nihlus and Jenkins alive? And how is this going to end?! Find out, in the next installment of Red vs. Blue vs. Saren, coming soon!