Chapter 3
The roar of the crowd engulfed the arena as the lights dimmed and Rayna's band members took their places. She gripped the microphone in her hand and waited eagerly behind the stage for her cue.
The moment right before Rayna walked on stage was her favorite part of the show in a way. Those last few seconds were the perfect combination of loud yet quiet, the calm before the whirlwind of guitars and violins, screaming fans, bright flashing lights, costume changes and mingling with V.I.P's post-show backstage, where she'd be expected to sip champagne and smile until her face ached.
This moment was for her and her only. Anticipation that even after years of performing, still left excited butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Every single show was a blank slate, the possibility of giving the best performance of her career stretched out in front of her like an empty country road.
The opening guitar riff of It's My Life filled Rayna's ears and she shivered slightly as goosebumps suddenly pricked her arms, a visceral reaction to Deacon's unique and distinguishable sound.
Their sound.
It felt so good to be back to that, even if for just one night.
Drawing in a deep breath, she walked out on stage and stepped into the spotlight.
The first half of the set flew by like lightening. The minutes seemed to pass like seconds, and Rayna honestly couldn't remember the last time she became so lost in the music that the thought of what came next didn't enter her mind once.
The energy in the venue was electric tonight. Rayna forced herself to focus on the faces in the crowd every so often as they screamed, jumped and sang out their enthusiasm. The fierceness of their support was incredible really, something she tried to never take for granted. It was a true rarity in this fickle industry where artists were chewed up and spit out before they could even release a second album. It was these very fans that supported her penchant for taking chances with her music, staying with her through all the ups and downs, for believing in the words that represented different parts of her heart and soul, often the things she couldn't always say or articulate in real life.
As Rayna belted out the final chorus of Stomping Grounds, she crossed the stage, her eyes shifting over to Deacon with a magnetic like force.
Deacon was one of those guitarists who played with his whole body. Rayna had always connected to the passion with which he put forth onto a simple musical instrument, face screwed up in concentration, foot tapping to the beat, fingers intensely working the strings of his guitar. In fact, it was in large part of what made him so incredibly sexy to her.
Rayna sidled up alongside Deacon, throwing her head back and their bodies melted together effortlessly, moving ever so slightly together to the rhythm until the last chord was played.
When the applause died down, Rayna wiped a damp strand of hair away from her face and strutted forward, bending down to grab the hands of the excited fans who were lucky enough to be in the front row.
"How are y'all doing tonight?" she drawled loudly into her microphone, grinning as the crowd cheered wildly in response.
Rayna went through the usual routine of introducing the members of her band one by one and then finally turned to Deacon.
"I'm sure y'all have probably noticed someone familiar right up here next to me," she said with a smile. "He's an extra special guest star with the Rayna Jaymes show tonight."
Rayna knew Deacon hated having special attention drawn to him, but she couldn't resist and motioned emphatically behind her.
"Give it up for the one, the only, Deacon Claybourne."
Deacon raised his arm in a small wave and bowed his head towards Rayna as the audience went crazy.
They locked eyes and Rayna couldn't believe how incredibly easy and hard things could be with this man at the exact same time.
It was truly the story of their lives.
{***}
Thirty minutes later, everyone huddled backstage in preparation for the final encore.
Deacon hung closely behind Rayna with the rest of the band, absentmindedly fussing with the pegs of his Gibson, something he always seemed to naturally do when he had the thing in his hands.
"So, we're still doing Already Gone as the encore, right?" he asked.
"Yep. But, I was just thinking, before we close out with that, maybe we could do something acoustic, just the two of us out there," Rayna said as she took a swig from the bottle of water one of the stage assistants had handed her. She stood still as a makeup artist touched up her face and waited for Deacon's reaction.
Deacon laughed, assuming she was just mocking Juliette's impromptu acoustic performance at the beginning of the tour, but then quickly raised his eyebrows when he realized Rayna was serious.
"Really Ray? I mean, we haven't practiced any of those songs in ages. Doing it at the Bluebird is one thing but this a big..."
"Come on Deacon," Rayna interrupted with a slight roll of her eyes, "when have we ever needed to practice those songs? Besides, who knows when I'll get to play with you again. I'm really just trying to get my money's worth."
They stood silently for a moment until Deacon broke the silence.
"That Could Be Us?" he asked quietly.
They had debuted that song at the CMA Awards Festival in Nashville seventeen years ago, the first time Rayna had ever been nominated for Best Female Vocalist. She was so incredibly nervous back then. Back when she had everything in the world to prove.
Rayna smiled remembering the way he had held her hair back as she threw up on the front steps of his house right before the limo picked them up, how he leaned in and whispered, "I love you Ray," into her ear, his voice deep and full of encouragement before they went out on stage, the smoldering looks they had exchanged as they sang to each other. She also recalled how they had bowed out of all the after parties, barely getting through the front door before shredding all their clothes and spending the rest of the night making love to each other.
"That's a good one," she replied, feeling her cheeks get hot despite the cool air blowing on her from the air bent over her head. "I'm game if you are."
He nodded, and then took the half empty water bottle from her hand gently, tipping it upward and chugging the rest of it down.
{***}
Rayna let out a breath of relief as she finally returned to her dressing room at the end of the night to gather her things. It had been a long evening. After the show, Bucky had immediately whisked her away to the VIP suite to greet some particularly talkative sponsors and she had been held captive for hours.
Surprisingly though, she wasn't tired at all. Rayna wasn't sure if it was the three glasses of champagne she had drank or the buzz she felt from playing with Deacon again, but she was wide awake, no traces of the exhaustion she often felt after a show.
Rayna stopped short when she noticed Deacon perched on the couch, legs stretched out on an ottoman, acoustic guitar in hand.
"What are you still doin' here?" she asked.
Deacon picked up a yellow notepad with lyrics scrawled on them in his horrendous chicken scratch and held it up for her to see.
"I had an idea for a song and I just wanted to get it out. Hope you don't mind I used your dressing room for some peace and quiet."
She nodded in understanding. "Of course not."
"How you doin'?" he asked softly as she sat down next to him.
"I'm okay. Glad we're getting a bit of a break after this show. I love being out there, but Bucky's got me exhausted with all this entertaining after the show." She paused debating whether to bring it up or not, but it was out of her mouth before she could stop it. "I heard about you and Stacey. I'm sorry it didn't work out."
"Are you Ray?"
The words came spilling out of her like a fountain before she could stop them.
"No," she responded bluntly.
Seeing his half amused, half shocked expression, she panicked and tried to backtrack.
"I mean...yes...of course I'm sorry, but if you weren't happy then its probably for the best."
Deacon shook his head and grinned at her. "After all these years, you're still a terrible liar."
Rayna looked down. If he only knew how good of a liar she really was.
"What happened?" she asked.
"She was a good girl, you know. But, something...something just didn't feel right. Maybe she was just too good, too normal to be mixed up with the likes of me." Deacon gave her a small self-deprecating smile. "Also, the not liking country music thing. I have to admit, it was a bit intriguing at first, but this music is my soul, you know? After a while it seemed wrong to be with someone who just doesn't seem to want to really be a part of that."
"I know exactly how you feel," Rayna said taking off her heels and pulling her legs underneath her on the couch, "that's how I felt with Teddy. Always wishing he'd show some sort of interest in it. I guess seeing him be such a good father to the girls made it a little easier to overlook, but there was still something missing. A lot missing." She looked at Deacon and he looked at her and she knew they were approaching dangerous territory but something inside was encouraging her to keep going.
"Thanks for playing with me tonight," she near whispered. "It really felt like old times out there."
Deacon chuckled at her dramatic declaration. "You know Rayna, it's only been a few months since we've played together," he teased.
She smacked his arm playfully. "You know what I mean. Just the two of us. That song. It felt good."
Rayna leaned forward and picked up the notepad, her eyes grazing over the lyrics on the page for a long while before looking back over at Deacon. "Need some help getting this song out?"