Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Twilight and make no profit from this work of fiction.

Author's Note: This is the direct result of having found, twice on the same day, copies of trizfores' story Overrated plagiarised word-for-word on this very site. One author has removed the offending material (and changed his/her pen name *eyeroll*). The other has chosen not to, and has been reported to the admins as well as stop-plagiarism on LJ. If you're not familiar with them, Google them. The report is still in the moderator queue, and once it's approved, it will be cross-posted to TaPiR.

It should be noted that this is a parody.

Hermione was, understandably, still shell-shocked over the recent turn of events. After all, she had always defended Professor Snape to Ron and Harry – had always respected the man, even if it was somewhat begrudgingly. She had not been able to sleep properly in over a month. As the dic tempus spell revealed that it was after three in the morning, she sighed, concluding that this night would be yet another without her finding any substantial amount of slumber.

Throwing the covers off, she swung her legs over the bed and plopped her feet heavily on the floor. She heard a disgruntled snort and winced, having forgotten that – for once – Ginny was in the room with her and not spending the night in Harry's bed. She reached into her bottomless bag and removed a folded parchment. Hermione made her way back into bed much more stealthily than she had exited it.

She whispered the incantation and the parchment unfolded, hovering at eye-level. Completely blank, it appeared to be awaiting her command, which, in essence, it was. Performing the intricate wand movements, Hermione allowed herself a smirk as she watched the world-wide-web reveal itself on the paper before her. After the incident in her second year, she had become convinced that the muggle means of looking up resource information was far superior to those methods permitted to her at Hogwarts. As a result, she had set about devising this spell. The use of the time-turner in her third-year had certainly aided her in the quest, though she had been sleep-deprived far too often for her liking. The culmination of her efforts was before her, and she was still delighted at having access to the wealth of information muggles placed online.

The parchment awaited her bidding, and for once, she was not interested in research. She wanted something to numb her mind so that she would be able to obtain some rest. The beauty of the spell was that it allowed her to simply think of what she wished to see online, and the parchment would show it. So much more convenient than a muggle computer, in her opinion.

Hermione had come across a phenomenon several months earlier on a night much like this one – something called 'fanfiction.' She had been astonished – and appalled – at the stories involving her. She had not realized 'real person fiction' existed until she saw that, and was quite aghast at the situations some would conceive in order to pair her with the most unlikely of persons. After having read enough to have her magic crackling, Harry and Ron had confronted her; the boys were treated to a … well, if she were honest, she had thrown a tantrum. Harry had tried to calm her down, before blushing profusely when she relayed what the stories said he had been up to with not only the twins, but also both the elder Malfoy and Lord Voldemort himself. Ron's ears had been red for days after she had revealed his apparent escapades with Draco, Pansy, Hannah, Susan, Seamus … The list was practically endless.

One genre she had come across, however, was able to numb her mental faculties sufficiently. Something called Twilight had quite a bit of fanfiction written about it, and she had run across one author's rather titillating story in regards to the love triangle apparently established by the original author. "Darkest Fantasy" by Swansong's Desire was actually pretty well-written, and she would assume by the reviews that it had the author's desired effect of stimulating her audience. She had found the purple prose somewhat off-putting, but she knew that would be the story to aid her in getting to sleep.

Curiosity directed her to the Harry Potter pages first though, and she scrolled down through the newest listings. One in particular caught her eye, and she scoffed as the parchment displayed the content of the story at her mental directive. One eyebrow rose as she read, then both. A moment later, both lowered as she scowled. This – this charlatan – ThePimple – they had copied, word-for-word, Swansong Desire's story!

Hermione scrolled back to the beginning of the tale, and saw that ThePimple was not without some modicum of ability. The first thirteen chapters appeared to be a building of a relationship between – of all people – Marietta Edgecombe and the Weasley twins. She had no idea why anyone would want to put the three of them in a relationship, but the tale was not poorly constructed.

The theft of Swansong Desire's story, however, irritated her to no end. Thankfully, she did not have to leave a review alerting the author of the situation; an e-mail was listed on the author's profile. She quickly composed a missive detailing the issue and sent it off, then proceeded to re-read the scintillating tale of a girl, a vampire, and a werewolf in their developing romantic liaison.

Bella Swan had gone through yet another box of tissues, mourning Edward's leaving her once more. Jacob had been by and seen the state of her room. He had left for the store, vowing to return shortly. Meanwhile, Bella had been about to look at the new listings in one of her favorite fanfiction sections – Harry Potter – when her global messenger alerted her to a new e-mail. Her readers were always sending her little notes, personal things that she was glad they did not leave on her review board, but would have been happier had they restrained themselves from sending to her.

She opened the message and gasped, her hand going to her mouth. Jacob had just entered her room, and he quickly shut the door behind him, rushing to her side. "Bella?" She looked at him, agape, and pointed at the screen. He read the note and used her mouse to click the link. He read the story along with her, clearing his throat and stepping back slightly even as she blushed profusely.

"I-I can't believe they did this!"

"Well, Bella, sometimes, when people want to experiment-"

"Jacob! They stole my story!"

"...Excuse me?"

"I wrote this! This is my story!" She quickly brought up the original, and he could clearly see that her story had been posted six months before this newest chapter of a saga involving the Weasley twins and this Edgecombe girl. Personally, he would have paired the two with that Draco kid, just to see what hijinks the group would have gotten up to when thrown in a soup pot, but it wasn't his fantasy playing out on the computer.

"Is there anything you can do about it?" he asked softly.

She shook her head and sighed. "I can report them, but who knows how long it will take the admins to remove that? And really, she wrote the rest of the story – she just stole my sex scenes!" Jacob cleared his throat and looked away uncomfortably. "What?"

"Bella, you know how I feel about you." She blushed and nodded. "This is a bit awkward for me."

"...I suppose I can see that. Do you have any other suggestions for me, though?"

"What about your readers? Strength in numbers?"

"Of course! Trust a werewolf to have pack-thinking." She smirked at him and he smiled as she set about replying to each of her reviewers and notifying them of the situation. Within minutes the review count for the other story had doubled, and none of the reviews were flattering.

RedHornet
How dare you plagiarise "Darkest Fantasy" ! That wonderful story was written by Swansong's Desire! I hope they ban your account, you thief!

The Green Witch
You're kidding, right? You didn't write this! Take this chapter down, NOW!

Why (guest)
did you bother doing this when you can obviously write? Thirteen chapters, all your own, then you decide to steal someone else's work? There's no logical explanation!

AngryReader
I only use this account when I have to leave reviews for mooks like you who have no imagination and have to steal someone else's hard work in order to make themselves feel better and validate their "writing". Now you've got all of Swansong's readers in an uproar, you little thief!

The reviews continued in that manner for several pages. Bella was astonished at the outpouring of support, and made a statement on her profile to let all of her readers know how much she cherished them.

And a special thank you to TwitterpatedBookworm for notifying me of this issue. I'm so glad that you're a conscientious reader!

After refreshing the page with the stolen story, it wasn't much longer before it returned a "story not found" error. Jacob smiled as Bella gave a small squeal of delight and clapped her hands at the victory. Her elation quickly turned to embarrassment, however, as Jacob leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Just who starred in your story, Bels?"

"You," she muttered, "you and Edward." He made a face. "With me." A grin slowly formed and he leaned in to claim her mouth in a kiss. Neither of them expected Edward to clear his throat a moment later. They pulled apart slowly.

"I'm back, Bella, and it appears that we have something to discuss," he said softly, shutting the door behind him.

~ Fin ~