Christian looks down from my face to the floor. He takes my hands and just holds them for a second.

"Whatever you're trying to do to make me come around, it's not going to work." I say to him as I let him hold my hands.

He looks back up to my eyes and I am mesmerized by his glassy grey eyes.

"I know we just keep going in circles and I know I'm the most confusing person you have ever met but, I know one thing for sure, and that it's that I really like you. I don't know what it is about you."

I let go of his hands and just shook my head.

"No, no. Let me finish. Elena was there to help me. I need someone to make me feel loved. It's so fucked up for me to be doing that. To be running to her and let me be her sub but I need it because that's all I know. I have never been in a relationship other than Elena and possibly you. I don't know how any of this works! How the hell do you make someone feel loved and special without fucking them? How do you do it?"

I took a step back from him to let myself breathe. I didn't realize I've been holding my breath during his speech.

"I don't know if I want to be involved. I'm not sure if it's worth getting hurt." I say to him. "I really do care for you, Christian. I do. It's just sometimes, you have to think of yourself too. I have to think of myself and how badly this can end. If I keep thinking of others I'm going to end up with nothing but pain."

He takes a moment to realize what I am trying to say.

He nods slowly. "I understand..."

I cup his face and look straight onto his red eyes. It seemed as if he's been trying to hold onto his tears. But right when I touched him, a tear rolled down his cheek and I wiped it away for him.

"The timing is wrong, Christian. Maybe when we get older and we're better. Maybe we could make it work. Maybe we'll meet again."

I kiss his cheek, exactly where the tear had rolled down from earlier, but when I moved back, he caught my face and kissed me on the lips. I let him because I felt like I needed it too. I kissed him back. I kissed him more passionately than ever because I didn't know if it would be the last time. That's when I realized that I was crying too.

We both pull away from each other and I wipe my tears.

"I'm sorry to have put you through this. I won't bother you again. Not until I get things fixed. Not until I'm not so fucked up. I promise."

He holds me close and I cry a little bit more on his chest. I hug him back and try to get my breathing even.

"Take care of yourself," I said as I hugged him one last time.

A/N: I'm sorry to have ended this so abruptly. Chapter 17 was writen quite a few times and I wasn't able to settle on one. I know this really wasn't an ending that tied everything together but none of the revised Chapter 17's felt right, except for this one last one. I've just had no motivation to write. Not really sure if it's a writer's block, or I've just lost interest. I am planning somewhat of a sequel to this story. Maybe when Ana and Christian are older and the time is right, for me and for the characters. I hope you guys will still be around for it when I decide to get back to writing and post it. Thank you so much to the people who have left positive reviews and nothing but love to my very first fanfic. It's been great. Thanks again.