"I don't know why this one's hitting me so hard" April said shakily as she tried to make sense of her emotions. "It's not supposed to happen this way it's- it's not right. I can't tell him- I can't tell him- I can't make him feel worse just because I feel bad…"

"I'll do it" Jackson offered as he gazed at her.

"No. No, I'll do it. I can do it. I just- I need a minute" she said as she fought tears. But after a moment her emotions only felt stronger and she began to break down.

"Hey" Jackson said softly as he put his arm around her. He rubbed her shoulder reassuringly and tried to fight tears from forming in his own eyes. He hated seeing April like this. He hated when she was upset. He didn't want her to be crying, he wanted her to be laughing. He wanted to be laughing with her.

April pulled away as she tried to catch her breath. Her eyes were fixed on Jackson's, her hair was a mess, and her lips were parted slightly. Jackson wanted nothing more than to brush the hair out of her face and feel her lips against his. Instantly, all of the feelings from before returned. Their emotional connection, their physical connection. Jackson and April leaned into each other until their lips were only inches from one another.

"I- I should probably go" April muttered nervously as she pulled back. "I should talk to the patient's husband, and I should check on Matt-"

"Is that what you really want to do?"

"No" April admitted as she looked into his eyes. "But this is wrong, we're both seeing other people."

"You're right" Jackson said as he cleared his throat. "You're right. And, there's a reason we didn't work out so…"

"I've missed you" April interrupted as she looked at him.

"I've missed you too, but hey, we're getting back on track."

"I didn't mean as a friend. I mean I did miss that too" she muttered nervously. But now, Jackson I miss you. I miss-"

"You miss sex?"

"Yeah" April admitted with a laugh. "Yeah, I guess that's it. I don't even know what I'm doing, I'm such a mess-"

"Hey, no. April, you are not a mess."

"Really?" she scoffed. "Look at me. I'm sobbing over losing a patient, and I'm nearly kissing my ex-boyfriend, if that's even what you ever were. And I mean- we broke up because I was so neurotic about sex and now I'm with a guy who wants the same thing I do and I just can't stop thinking about-"

"About sex?"

"No! Not about sex- well, I mean yeah but that isn't what's bothering me. Jackson I think about… about you. All the time. I miss you. I don't understand how this is all supposed to fit together."

"What are you talking about?" Jackson asked as he finally succumbed to one of his desires and tucked the stray of hair behind her ear.

"You belong with the person you belong with and then you should be with that person, right? Meredith belongs with Derek, Callie belongs with Arizona, Christina belongs with Owen, I mean even Mark and Lexie got to be together in the end in some poetic sense. If we aren't supposed to be together then why do I feel so…"

"So what?"

"I think I'm in love with you" she blurted out before she really thought it through. "Oh God" she sighed after a moment of awkward silence. "I need to stop this, I need to stop… This is bad, I shouldn't be talking to you about this."

"Um, we didn't break up because you were 'neurotic about sex' April."

"What are you talking about?"

"We broke up because I thought you didn't have feelings for me. I thought it was just sex for you."

"How could you think that?" she sighed. "Jackson, you're my best friend! Or you were anyway. It was never just sex between us, you know that."

"But you just said you were in love with me" Jackson said swallowing hard. "Did you mean that?"

April nodded as she gazed at him. "Yeah" she whispered. "I did, but does it really matter now?"

"It does matter. It's all that matters because I love you too" he smiled.

"But you're seeing Stephanie."

"I was trying to move on because I thought I had to, I thought-"

"You thought what?"

"I thought you could never love me like I love you. It hurt like hell, but now-"

"But now what?" she asked as she inched closer to him.

"Now" he said as he moved his face towards her. "Now that I know we feel the same way about each other what's keeping us apart?"

"We're still seeing other people."

"That doesn't mean anything. Derek saw his ex-wife when he was in love with Meredith, Callie slept with Mark when she was in love with Arizona, Owen had a one night stand while he was in love with Christina, and Lexie was with me when she was in love with Mark. It wasn't clean-cut and easy. It was messy, they all made mistakes. But in the end, denying their feelings only did one thing. It took time away from them. Time that they could have had together. April, I'm sick of wasting time. I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you too. I really want to be with you, but-"

"But what? But what? Why can't we be together April!"

"I don't know" she cried. "I don't know, I- I have to go!"

"April!"

"No, I'm sorry" she cried as she ran out. "I- I'm sorry."

"Damn it!" Jackson yelled as he stood up and punched a locker.

"You okay?" Alex asked as he entered the room.

"No" Jackson said. "No, I'm definitely not okay?"

"You wanna talk about it, or…"

"No" he said as he walked out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You can't just pretend that didn't happen!" Jackson said angrily once he found April in the hall.

"Jackson, please, not now. I can't do this right now. I've had a really bad day and…"

"And you're scared."

"Can we talk about this someplace private?" she whispered as she looked around.

"Are you going to run out on me again?" he muttered as they found an empty room.

"What do you want from me!" April yelled frustrated.

"Well to start I'd like you not to take off."

"I'm sorry" she sighed. "I shouldn't have done that, it's just-"

"It's just what?"

"It's was getting pretty intense in there."

"Yeah" Jackson agreed. "It was."

"And I…"

"And you what?"

"And if I stayed in there another minute I would have kissed you."

"Is that so bad?" Jackson smiled.

"Yes! No… I don't know. Jackson, I don't want to make a mistake here."

"So you are trying to choose between me and your paramedic?"

"No, I know that you're the one I want."

"You do?" he smiled.

"Yes! It's just- Jackson I screwed things up last time…bad."

"You weren't the only one who screwed up" he said reassuringly as he put his hand on her arm. "I screwed up too April. But, come on… There's something here. Something between us. Something undeniable. Something that makes me feel things I've never felt before. I've never been so happy, and frustrated, and angry, and confused, and so freaking turned on in my entire life than I am when I'm with you. And damn it I don't want it to stop. And, I miss you too April every day. And, I really really want to kiss you right now."

"I really want to kiss you too" she confessed as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Then kiss me" he whispered as he skimmed his hands over her body.

"If I do, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from going further" she whispered back as her eyes darkened.

"Then don't" he smirked. "Do your worst Kepner."

Please Review! This is a one-shot for now, but maybe if I get a good response I might add to it…