The Deep End

By: girllybell

I guess I really am a nutter. Finally gone off the deep end, I have. Sneaking into his dormitory at this time of night... Merlin, if Potter ever squeals about this I'll hex him into next year, the dirty toe rag. I can't believe I'm actually doing this... What's come over me? Maybe I should go see Madame Pomfrey instead... But then she would know...

The light from the dying embers of the fire cast eerie shadows around the Head's common room and I take one last breath before gathering up my courage and starting back up the stairs. I breathe a small sigh of relief. I can do this.

The nightmare I'd been having starts to creep back into my head so I hurry up the stairs as fast as I can while still avoiding the steps that look vaguely as though they might be creaky little buggers. Going down to watch the fire hadn't helped and I'm desperate. Even desperate enough to seek comfort in Potter. What has the world come to?

I make it to the top of the steps. Breathe in, breathe out. Calm your racing heart, and step up to the door. Breathe in, grab the handle, breathe out, turn the handle, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Try to think of a reason you should actually be doing this and you come up with none. Think of reasons not to do this... and you come up with enough to fill three feet of parchment. Well isn't this just great?

Why won't you just go back to bed Lilly!? Because the nightmares will only come back... I argue, and this is the only thing that might keep them away. Damn you, voice of reason in my head! I know it's right though, he's the only one that can make me feel safe these days, and I find myself slowly pushing open the door into the dormitory. Weird. With the little light I can see it's a mess, but definitely not as bad as I had imagined it.

I move as silently as possible to his bed and draw the curtains back. Am I actually going to do this? He's never going to let me live this down. But still, the thought of going back to my room puts an ache in my heart and instills me with a deep-set fear of the night terrors that await me. I'd rather face his relentless teasing than that horrible nightmare any day.

I pull back the covers and slide in the bed, shutting the curtains as soon as I'm in and lie perfectly still, trying not to wake him. He doesn't stir, and I relax and snuggle in, exhaustion catching up to me. I start to doze off, glad we don't have classes tomorrow so he will sleep in and I will be able to leave before he even notices I'm here. I am a moment away from sleep when suddenly James... er, Potter... turns around to face me with his eyes half-open and starts mumbling.

"Lilly? What the name Merlin are you doing? Am I dreaming?"

Immediately I put my hand over his mouth, cursing myself when awareness enters his eyes and he stares at me, completely bewildered. I bring one finger up to my lips and nod at him, telling him silently to stay quiet. He nods back, and I slowly take my hand away from his mouth.

I bring my lips to his ear and he closes his eyes while I whisper to him almost inaudibly, "Shut it Potter. If you know what's good for you, you won't speak a word of this. To anyone."

I lay back down, closer to him this time, but he hasn't moved a muscle except for opening his eyes again. I sigh, and hug the comforter closer to myself before turning my back to him and trying to ignore the feeling of him staring at me. After what feels like a lifetime, I'm almost asleep when I feel his arms snake around me and pull me closer to his bare chest. This is exactly what I needed, and I find comfort in knowing that I'm safe with James. He will keep the nightmares away. I smile, knowing he can't see it, and I hear him whisper, "Night my Lilyflower." I can almost see his self-satisfied smile as I cuddle closer to his warmth and drift off to sleep, using his muscled arm as a pillow.

"Oi! What in Merlin's beard is going on here?!" I open my eyes to Sirius Black staring incredulously down at me screaming. Definitely not my ideal way to wake up. I start to wonder why the bloody hell Sirius Black is screaming at me on a Saturday morning but then it hits me. The nightmare, the crazy conclusion that James would be the only thing to keep it away, the silent creeping into his bed. Oh. It's all coming back. Black must be here to wake his mate up.

I look down, at James' arm draped across my middle and then over my shoulder to his still sleeping form. How he is staying asleep through Sirius's commotion I'll never know. I look back up at Sirius and blush a deep red that probably matches my hair.

"Morning?" I try nervously as I shake off James's arm and sit up to look around the room. "Lovely day for a snowball fight." I comment and the white blanket covering the grounds outside the window.

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Evans? And why in the name of wizard London are you in Prongsie's bed?!" James finally wakes up, throwing a sleepy smile at me while he sits up before seeing Sirius and sighing heavily.

"Oh, sod off Padfoot. She had a nightmare." I look at him funny, trying to avoid the fact that his voice is incredibly sexy in the morning. How in the world did he know I had a nightmare? I hadn't said anything last night about that, had I? He just looks right back at me with a face that reads, honestly, you think I didn't know?.

"Right, well, thanks again for last night. I'll just be on my way then. See you later, James." I stand up, realizing that there is nothing I could possibly say that would make this situation any less awkward. With all the dignity I have left I walk out of the dorm with my head held high, Black and James both staring after me incredulously. Oh god, what the Merlin was I thinking, showing up here in the middle of the night?! And why did Black have to wake up so early on a Saturday?! He barely even makes it to breakfast most weekends he sleeps in so late!

Before I even make it to the stairs, I hear Black whisper to him from inside the room, "Did she just call you James, mate?" I smack my head with my hand as I hurry to my room muttering to myself, "Stupid, stupid, stupid! Its one thing to call him James in your head, but you can't go around saying his name out loud! How could you be so stupid?!" I'll never hear the end of this.

So what do you guys think?

Just to clear up any confusion this is set in Lily and James's seventh year when they are Head Boy and Girl and living in the Head's tower.

I'm not entirely sure about it. I like the concept, but I don't know that I really did this plot bunny the justice it deserves. I feel like I might've read something like this before-so if you come yelling at me in a review about that just know it wasn't intentionally a copy-cat of someone else's work. Pinky promise. I'm also not sure about what I want to do with this fic. I might leave it as a one-shot, or I might continue it and turn it into a story. Review and tell me if I should or not. I've had this on my computer for about a month or so, and I went in today and finished it and I wanted some feedback. So I'm uploading it. I wanted to find a beta for it but I really don't want to go find someone right now in all honesty. I did spell check it though-so maybe there aren't too many spelling and grammar errors. I'd love to know what you guys think about it though-it's my first Lily/James fic ever. I've gotten addicted to them recently. So if you've read any good ones tell me about it in a review or PM.

Love you guys! Let me know what you think in a review!

Bell