1. What do you like about your drug of choice?

The high. That incredible feeling of ecstasy where you have no responsibilities or worries to drag you down. You're lighter than air and everything in life is good and everyone is happy. The second it reaches your brain the real world melts away and is replaced with something better, something indescribably amazing. Colors seem brighter, smells seem sweeter, and everything bad gets shut out. You feel as if you're higher than all of the world's problems. It's like sickness, pain, and death can't reach you. It's as if you are invincible. But it feels like that only for a moment.

2. What do you not like?

The crash. The hunger. The irritability. The weight of the world tumbles right back on your shoulders again. Your body is drained completely and you feel exhausted, but your eyelids won't shut. Your body convulses awkwardly back and forth. Back and forth. You try to shake the feeling off, but it sticks with you. Your throat feels like sandpaper and nothing can soothe it.

3. Is your addiction really worth it?

Is it worth it?

For me, it was absolutely worth it. Having the chance to leave reality for a little while. To get to go to a place where my little brother isn't dead, and my parents aren't splitting up, and where no one has to rely on me to do things right. I don't have to be perfect when I'm high.

4. Are there better ways that you can relieve your stress?

Don't get me wrong I've tried other alternatives besides drugs to help cope with my depression; sports, yoga, dancing, alcohol, meditation, you name it. But the only way I can truly get away is when those meth crystals shoot up my nostril.

5. Do you feel the need to keep doing drugs?

I don't really say that I need it; it's more like a relationship. I want to snort meth and it wants to help me feel better. I know it's dangerous to do, but really ODing sounds like a good way to go. I mean you'll be happy when you kick the bucket at least. It's not like a car crash where you have excruciating pain. It's probably somewhat like dying in your sleep, peacefully in a state of happiness.

6. What consequences have arisen because of your drug abuse?

The only consequences I've had so far are of course coming down and just a few little scabs on the back of my neck from picking. They are so little and insignificant I hardly remember that they're there sometimes. My hair covers them mostly from sight.

7. Does anyone in your family know about your problem?

Most of my family doesn't know about my 'little problem.' Except for Alec. We've been through so much together I just didn't have the heart to keep it a secret from him. And of course he disapproves. He says that this will be the death of me if I don't get help. But I feel like I don't need help. I already have the help that I need. So I don't really know why I'm doing this. It's not like this program is going to help me. You don't really think I'm going to stay clean after this, do you? These twelve weeks are just going to make me want meth even more. Staying clean is not something I intend to do. Im only doing this for Alec. I owe this to him for what happened last weekend.

8. Are you willing to accept the help of our professionals?

I'll go along with your little meetings. I'll play by your rules. But I swear right after this I will go back to doing drugs. You can't change who I am. I am stubborn. I am strong. I am Isabelle Lightwood, and I am an addict.