Meet Naruto Uzumaki

Chapter 1: Meet Naruto Uzumaki

"Your time is nearing," a voice commented inside Jiraiya's head. It wasn't the oddest thing to have happened in his life, but he'd be lying if he said it hadn't startled him. He could have sworn he was alone in the forest he was about to die in, but perhaps a member of the Yamanaka clan had stumbled upon him.

"Who're you?" he gasped out. He could feel his strength draining with each breath he took and he knew he didn't have long.

"You know who I am."

"I do?" He wasn't on personal terms with any Yamanaka, and the ones he had met he couldn't remember the names of.

"Yes."

The conversation was halted as Jiraiya began to cough up blood. "I need a medic."

"I cannot help you, your time has come."

Jiraiya figured as much, but to hear it was slightly depressing. Damn you, Orochimaru, he cursed in his mind. If he hadn't chased after the nuke-nin, he wouldn't be in this predicament. He hadn't thought Orochimaru would truly aim to kill him, they had been teammates… His naivety knew no bounds it seemed.

"Orochimaru…" the voice stated curiously. "The one who seeks immortality…"

What other Orochimaru is there? Jiraiya thought to himself. He would have said it aloud, but he found he could not gather the energy it took to form the words.

"There is only one." Belatedly, the sanin realized whoever was in his mind could read his thoughts. He, of course, blamed his obliviousness on the lack of blood circulating through his system. "He tries to escape me, but now… you are my solution. You will take me to Orochimaru."

Jiraiya gurgled a scoff before replying. I'm dying. Besides, I don't know where he is.

"You will take me to him, and in return I will let you live for a while longer."

Let me live…? Jiraiya questioned dimly.

"For your help, yes."

But to do that, you'd have to be…

"…Death, exactly. Help me, and I will help you."

Jiraiya woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and the morning sun beaming down on his face. He rubbed his head as a headache set in and sat up tiredly. "What a weird dream," he muttered to himself.

"What dream?" a male voice questioned. Jiraiya's eyes snapped open at the unfamiliar voice, and what he saw nearly gave him a heart attack. It was a man with spiky blond hair that held a close resemblance to his dead student.

"M-Minato?"

The Minato clone tilted his head in curiosity like a young pup, and that one movement let Jiraiya know it wasn't his deceased student. It wasn't in his student's mannerisms, and he'd known the guy for years. "The one who lies in my stomach…"

The gears in Jiraiya's head stopped, and then began spinning in overtime. 'The one who lies in my stomach,' he had said. Who said something like that, unless… Jiraiya was bombarded with the moments leading to him waking. The guy he had thought was a strange Yamanaka had called himself… death. The toad sage had thought it was a dream – he was alive after all – but it seemed he'd been mistaken. Jiraiya narrowed his eyes at the… entity. "Why're you here?"

"I have come for the soul of the one called Orochimaru," Death explained in an emotionless voice. He stood frozen like a statue, and if Jiraiya hadn't just witnessed him speak, he would have thought his student's clone to be petrified. His eyes didn't blink nor did his chest rise and fall with life, and it was unnerving. The guy was the living dead, no pun intended.

"He's not here." Jiraiya didn't want Death around any longer than necessary.

"You will lead me to him as stated in our deal."

Now that Death brought it up, Jiraiya vaguely recalled something about finding Orochimaru in exchange for life, but he couldn't do that to Orochimaru… could he? The man had been his teammates for years, his best friend since his earlier days as a genin. He couldn't just sell the information he had on Orochimaru, it wouldn't be right. The guy had saved his life more times than he liked to admit… but then again, he had also tried to end it. The snake sannin had, in a blatant display, thrown away their friendship for his ambitions… had tried to kill him and nearly succeeded. This was also the man who had done – and was probably still doing – human experimentations. Perhaps, Jiriaya thought, it's time to give up on my foolish dreams and put an end to the madness.

The white-haired man scowled as he refocused on the blank stare of Death. "Why's my help necessary? You're Death. You find and collect souls for a…" Jiraiya trailed off. He had been going to say 'for a living', but seeing as he was talking about Death, it just didn't sound right. "You don't need mortal help, because you're immortal. You're all-knowing. You're the freaking god of things dead and dying."

"I am," Death stated. "However, the human I search for is neither dead nor dying, as you put it. He has discovered a way to deceive my eyes, so I turn to you to be my eyes on this plane. Balance must be restored.

Jiriaya was in disbelief at his words. "You… want me to…." It was the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard, and he would have called BS, but the uncanny resemblance to his dead student stopped him. "Look, I don't where Orochimaru is, and I can't exactly put effort into searching him out again. It's taken me years to pinpoint his exact location, and this was a mission. Once sensei finds out I've failed, he'll have me doing other things."

"I will wait."

The toad sage blinked as he fell into a state of shock. What did he mean he'd wait? That had not been an offer.

"There is time. I will follow you until you take me to the soul of Orochimaru."

"But—but I gotta report back to Konoha, and I can't just show up with—with you! You look like, like…!" He wanted to say 'like the dead's been raised,' or 'the living dead', but it didn't seem too appropriate. "Like Minato! You have no idea how Konoha will react! This right here is mild compared to the uproar you'll cause, I can't even imagine the chaos you'll bring!"

Death tilted his head again in an innocent gesture. "Should I change?"

"Should you change?! Hell yeah! I'm surprised Iwa hasn't already sent it's elite out to assassinate the 'revived fourth Hokage'!" Jiraiya then mumbles under breath, "Should he change, ha!"

"What should be changed?" Death asked, ignoring most of what Jiraiya had ranted about.

"Everything." The white-haired man didn't even have to think about his response, because it was just that obvious.

Death's borrowed face furrowed in confusion, and Jiraiya marveled at the first identifiable expression. "I do not understand."

"Well for starters, that hair style needs to go. People will recognize those bangs." Death's hair grew shorter, but remained just as spikey. "And the color: too bright. Also recognizable." The bright yellow turned into a golden blond. "And your face! That has Minato written all over it!" The angular face of the former Hokage shifted into a much more rounded shape, highlighting the youth of the body.

"Like this?" Jiraiya blinked. Once. Twice. Then a third time.

"You call this change? You look the same, except…" Jiraiya took a step back and really looked at Death. "You know what, you do look different." It wasn't by much, and anyone who knew of the Yellow Flash would definitely take a second glance, but he did look changed. Not changed enough to claim no relation, but… this could definitely work out, Jiraiya thought. When Death followed him into Konoha with his current appearance, Jiraiya could claim he was Minato's long lost son named… Well, he'd figure out the name later, but it was the perfect disguise.

…There was just a couple more things that needed to be done.

"Can you change your height? Maybe make it shorter?" Death did exactly as Jiraiya asked and could now easily pull off the look of a big six-year-old or a small twelve-year-old.

Jiraiya let out an approving hum, then cautiously crept closer to Minato's 'long lost son' and pulled out a marker. "Hold still for a moment." Jiraiya grabbed hold of Death's face and carefully drew three fine lines on each side of his face. "There. People will hopefully be so distracted by what they'll think are tattoos that they won't pay too much attention to your heritage, or rather, lack thereof."

Jiraiya took a few steps back to get the whole visual of Death who remained silent throughout this process. Approving the look mentally, the toad sage checked to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything and began to walk in a seemingly random direction. "Let's head off to Konoha now." Death followed a few steps behind him at a solemn pace with his blank, emotionless stare. "…And look alive! The last thing people need to know is that the Shinigami himself is walking among them," Jiriaya grumbled.

That night, Jiraiya and Death walked the streets of a lively town on the border of Fire Country. It had been quite the dull journey, traveling with Death, but what more could he have expected. It was Death. There had been no interruptions whatsoever, no bandits, no assassination attempts, not even a stray animal. Everything seemed to have an instinctual aversion to death, and even the plants shied away whenever he was close. Death, of course, hadn't seemed to mind as he was probably used to the treatment, but it put Jiraiya on edge. Death was just too close for comfort, literally.

"Jiraiya-sama!" A female voice shouted, causing said man to freeze mid step. Normally, the sound of a female voice calling out for him made him an extremely happy man, but this voice he recognized. And wherever this voice was, his female teammate was sure to be close. Jiraiya groaned inaudibly. He did not need this right now.

The teenaged girl caught up to him and – was that a pig in her arms. The look of disbelief on his face must have been obvious, because she smiled brightly and said, "Her name's Tonton. Say 'hi', Tonton."

"Oink!"

"Isn't she the cutest?" Shizune asked as she cuddle the pig.

"Err, yeah." It was a pig. With clothes.

"So are you looking for Tsunade-sama?" Even though the question was directed at Jiraiya, her eyes were gazing curiously at the boy accompanying him.

"Uh, no—"

"'Cause if you are, I can take you to her," she offered. "We're just having dinner, but I had to take Tonton out do her… you know, business."

"No, no, Shizune, that's really not necessary—"

"Shizune!" A slurred, drunken voice called as a busty women stumbled out of a nearby restaurant, nearly tumbling over herself. Jiraiya cursed, this just wasn't his day. First Death showed up, then his teammate's apprentice, and now the slug princess herself. Jiraiya just couldn't catch a break.

"Tsunade-sama, look who's here!" Shizune directed the attention onto him, and Tsunade's face instantly morphed into an ugly frown.

"Who invited you here?" To be honest, Jiraiya had the same feelings, but…

"Tsunade-hime, you wound me," he pouted as he playfully grabbed at his heart. From the corner of his eyes, he caught Death looking at him with a tilted head.

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "I should do more than just wound you, Perv." She clenched her fist threateningly, causing her knuckles to crack.

"H-hey! Why don't we go finish dinner?" Shizune intervened, knowing something violent was about to go down. "Jiraiya-sama, you're welcome to join, too."

"Ah, that's ok, Shizune. I'll just be on my way—"

"Oh, no you won't. Not until you buy me a drink, anyway," Tsunade interrupted, narrowing her eyes at him as though she dared him to reject.

"B-but Tsunade-sama, you've already had so many…"

"Hush, Shizune. One more ain't gonna kill me." The slug sanin then turned around and went back into the restaurant, Shizune following dutifully after. Jiraiya grumbled under his breath about his terrible luck, and both he and his deathly shadow began to also enter the building.

"You are not injured."

Jiraiya's attention was pulled from his moping and to the blond. Even though this was Death, and he was supposed to know everything, the toad sage realized he probably didn't understand human lingo and the works. Jiraiya would have to explain teach it to him later if he wanted this charade to work.

"I'll explain later."

About 10 minutes later, everyone was seated in a booth with a drink in front of them; Tsunade's and Jiraiya's no doubt alcoholic. Shizune fidgeted at the tense air around them, and nearly sighed in relief when food being set down broke the silence. Jiraiya and his blond-haired companion were both so intense.

"What're you doing around these parts, Jiraiya?" Tsunade questioned first, easing the tension.

"Just resting up for the trip back to Konoha," he replied. "When did you start a petting zoo?" He looked directly at the pig in Shizune's arms, and the teenaged girl felt her cheeks flushing.

Tsunade's brow twitched as she raised her glass to take a gulp. "When'd you start picking up strays that look like…?"

"He found me, actually. He's his son." She coughed as she choked on her drink, and Shizune hurriedly began patting her back.

"His son?! When did he have a son?!"

Jiraiya, unfortunately, hadn't exactly prepared himself to answer these questions, so racked his brain for an answer. "…before he died…?" It was lame, he knew, but it would stall enough for a few extra seconds.

"I realize that, you idiot! But to think… He hid him for so long!" Tsunade took another long guzzle of her drink, seeming to relax from the familiar taste of alcohol. "What's your name, kid?"

Jiraiya's eyes widened at that. He hadn't thought of a name yet; had totally forgotten that in order to pull this farce off, Death couldn't just go by Death the whole time. "His, um, name is…"

"I am the Sh—"

"Son of Minato! We know that, kid! But, um, you know how my student was, Tsunade," he interrupted before Death could say his real title. "He wanted something unique for his son…" Jiraiya's eyes glanced around searching for a name, practically sweating his shirt through. "Something that would stand out…" His eyes caught sight of a bowl of ramen sitting innocently in front of Shizune and inspiration hit him. "Like Naruto! Yeah, Naruto," he said a bit more calmly.

"Naruto?" both Tsunade and her apprentice said skeptically.

"Like," Tsunade reached her hand over into Shizune's ramen bowl and held a piece of the food up, "this Naruto?"

"Y-yeah. Naruto Uzumaki, to be exact."

The slug sanin sighed as she shook her head. "That boy… Then again, what can you expect with you as his sensei?"

"Hey, I resent that!"

A childish argument was going to break out, but the shy voice of Shizune spoke up. "Um, Naruto-san? Why do you have whiskers?"

At the end of their late dinner, Jiraiya and 'Naruto' walked away from their impromptu dinner guests.

"That was a close one, but it was a nice save by the Great Jiraiya," he chuckled lowly as he congratulated himself for his quick thinking. Then he glanced at Death and scowled lightly. "No thanks to you. What were you thinking introducing yourself like that? You can't just go parading around as Death!" he whispered harshly as they traveled through the streets.

"I did not know."

Jiraiya grumbled, "And to think I called you all-knowing… Anyways, that's not important anymore. What's important now is that you know your new name… and how to act more human. I know they thought you were… a bit off, to put it nicely."

"Their minds said I was a 'weird, quiet child' who they 'wouldn't want to ever come across again'. They also wondered why I had marker on my face and think I'm foolish."

Oh yeah, Death could read minds.

"I can," he confirmed unnecessarily.

"You gotta stop that. Normal humans can't read other humans' minds." Jiraiya purposely didn't mention the Yamanaka clan. "And those two don't know anything… The marker is a good distraction. But anyways, if you're gonna travel with me, you got to at least pretend to be human…" Jiraiya sighed, "We'll just have to work on that before we reach Konoha, I guess."

Jiraiya set off toward an Inn with 'Naruto' following closely behind at his usual solemn pace. It had not been the craziest day of his life, but it definitely ranked high on the list.

"And what have I told you about looking alive!"

What do you think would make 'Naruto' more human?

Story very loosely inspired by Meet Joe Black btw.