A/N: I know that I shouldn't be popping out story babies like I don't already have two youngsters in progress, but this came to me out of NOWHERE and since it's just a oneshot kind of thing, I thought: "Hey, why the hell not?" There aren't enough KakaSasu Bro!Fics anyway. (Wait, are there any? Because I didn't check.) I know it seems like I shouldv'e put this in "An Imo Pectore", but this is a little longer than what I'm used to and I think it deserved to stand alone.

Title: The Path of Life

Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Kakashi wasn't like the father figure he lost. He was more like a man-slut older brother or a perverted uncle. His father never put cameras in his bedroom to catch his mother and him...No, forget it. —Bro!Fic, SasuSaku.

Genre: Friendship (because they aren't actually related) and Humor

Pairing: Undertone of SasuSaku, because that's how I roll.

He didn't choose this.

He.

Didn't.

Choose.

This.

For fuck's sake, living with Naruto would've been a little more—

No, Sasuke. Just... no.

Don't even go there.

"Fuck no."

"You don't have much of a choice, Sasuke."

Douche.

Stop mentioning that.

"I'm not dusting your porn, you sicko."

"You don't have many rules for living with me. This is the only thing I ask of you. Well... actually, this and cleaning up after Pakkun's bimonthly dog soirée, but you get the point. Besides, we have this same conversation every two weeks and you end up doing it anyway."

"...No."

"Sasuke."

Ugh, there went the warning tone again. Kakashi was actually getting serious.

About his porn.

"If you didn't have a closet full of porn, this wouldn't be a problem."

"But I do, so it is. Now, go."

Snatching the feather duster off Kakashi's counter with anything-but-enthusiasm, he stomped off to the sonofa—ehem, generous man's bedroom.

When he first arrived back to Konoha, he was let off pretty easy in terms of punishment. Assisting in killing Madara and important members of the Akatsuki could work that kind of magic for you.

Plus, Sakura and Naruto actually managed to put all of the Hokage's sake in a huge crate and suspend it over the Hokage Tower outside of Tsunade's window, where, if dropped, it would be gone forever.

She had no choice but to relent.

Thinking of Sakura and Naruto put a steady content feeling in his system as he made his way to do the dreaded biweekly job. Team Seven was closer than ever. With the war over, there was a sense of peace, but since they had their dangerous missions, they kicked enough ass to stay satiated. Red bridge meetings, dinners at Ichiraku and nights under the stars made for a perfect future. The fuzzy feeling ebbed away a bit as he practically ripped the doorknob off Kakashi's closet to get to his stupid filthy overly read porn.

It wasn't like Kakashi didn't bring multiple women back to the apartment. He DID.

So much, in fact, that Sasuke spent one whole month in the Hatake residence only getting two hours of sleep a day because of the noises coming from Kakashi's room.

(Hopefully, no one ever brought in a black light.)

But, it made him wonder as to why the man had so much porn. Wasn't it for lonely people?

He asked Kakashi once, albeit reluctantly, and received a load of bullshit in return:

"Icha Icha is not your ordinary porn, Sasu-chan. It is wonderfully written, romantic literature with endless plot twists and turns along with perfect characterization and imagery!"

It would be a lie to say that he had never read the damn books. Living with Kakashi, and dusting the books, it was an impossible feat. But, he never had time to appreciate the "plot", "characterization", and "imagery" because the smut scenes heated him up so fast he didn't let Sakura out of bed for half the day.

He'd say he was ashamed...

Except he wasn't.

Hey, call him a selfish, insensitive, emo and you would probably be right, but a liar he never was.

He stepped in the walk-in closet and turned on the overhead lighting. The walls were absolutely covered with little books in shades of orange, burgundy and green and collectibles like autographs from the actors in the series' movies, his crown as the fanclub's official president and Junko's underwear she wore during the last scene of Icha Icha: The Final Kiss. There was Icha Icha Paradise, Icha Icha Violence, Icha Icha Tactics, even Icha Icha Strap, the limited edition story of how Junko finally—

Okay, it's been a long couple of months with Kakashi.

Don't judge.

Sasuke started with the glass case containing the pen Jiraiya used to write his manuscripts. He didn't have time to waste; He was supposed to go meet up with Sakura in an hour and if he managed to dust the numerous collectibles in Kakashi's closet in a half hour, he'd have time to freshen up and get over to her house before she left.

He and Sakura had finally become a couple after he returned to Konoha and the first thing she did was pull him down by the bloody shirt and kiss the crap out of him, then loudly telling the gathering fan girls behind her: "HE'S MINE, YOU SLUTTY VULCHERS!"

Needless to say, they had been inseparable since.

Why wasn't he living with her, again?

Oh, right.

The Uchiha District of Konoha was destroyed in the war and left untouched. At first, he never wanted to set foot back on the property ever again, but then he and Sakura became a serious couple, and he decided that if he was going to marry her, they'd live together in the place where two Uchihas should. The buildings were all done, better than before, actually (Thanks to Yamato). However, he was doing some extra landscaping to make space for a new garden and some koi ponds. He didn't want to live with Sakura in any place besides the Uchiha Manor because he wanted it to be the first and last place they lived together.

Romantic, huh?

But for now, he was stuck with Kakashi.

He wasn't so bad. He wasn't usually loud or totally obnoxious. They even hung out together, although Sakura said sitting together on the couch in silence didn't count but, tch, whatever. Kakashi gave him relationship advice, even though he was a total pervert when it came to commenting on his sex life, and taught him what it was to have someone older look out for you.

He just loved to throw chores on Sasuke, as if he was some kind of dorky younger brother.

It was okay, because he was a clean person already and Kakashi never made much mess, but the dusting of the porn was so annoying.

And not the good kind of annoying.

Like come on.

Who dusts their porn collection?

Who even HAS a porn collection as elaborate as Kakashi?

Looking at the book shaped clock on the wall, the digital numbers told him 45 minutes had passed. Sasuke rushed to finish up. If he didn't, Sakura would leave her apartment and—

"Hey, Kakashi!"

"Oh, hello there, Sakura."

—Shitshitshit.

Sakura could not see him dusting Kakashi's porn. She was the only one who hated his collection more than Sasuke did. She would kill him for being around all this porn and associated memorabilia.

He closed the closet and pressed an ear to it, hearing the ongoing conversation and praying to every god he ever heard of that Sakura didn't come to find him.

"Where's Sasuke-kun?"

"Who? Oh, Sasuke? He's... Well... A little busy."

Sasuke smirked, practically smelling the panic in Kakashi's broken sentence.

Kakashi was aware of Sakura's hatred for Icha Icha. If she caught Sasuke dusting his freaking collection... things would get ugly.

Like, Naruto's-fridge-after-a-month-long-mission ugly.

"Kakashi, where is he?"

"He's... Cleaning?"

"Really."

"Uh, yeah!... He's cleaning my bathroom."

"Well, I'll just go and let him know I'm here then."

He could hear Sakura's footsteps enter the room and the panic came back over him; she couldn't catch him in this closet!

He stepped back, but stumbled when he heard Sakura coming closer to the closet door. She must've forgotten the bathroom was the other door!

Shitshitshit.

In an attempt to get away from the coming danger, his foot knocked on one of the bookcases, knocking several of the worn shelves down, the books spreading across the floor like a sea of water, causing him to slip.

When Sakura opened the door, she found an oversized closet filled with fallen Icha Icha memorobilia and Sasuke on his stomach, face planted, with a neon orange book open on his head like a tent.

Sasuke waited, completely still for his impending doom...

But it never came.

"DAMMIT, KAKASHI! I TOLD YOU TO GET RID OF ALL THIS PORN!"

/

Sasuke poked Kakashi with the heel of his foot.

"He's out."

"Serves him right for having all that nasty stuff in his closet!"

Sakura had punched Kakashi on the back of his head so hard that even his ninja reflexes were off. There was no response to even Sasuke's fingers on his mask, which had gotten him a roundhouse kick in the face when he tried that a month after moving in.

Sasuke stood up and walked away from the body laying on its back in the doorway of the bedroom. Sakura's form leaned against the doorframe of Kakashi's closet, as casual as ever; like she hadn't just punched her childhood teacher in a fit of rage over his porn-filled closet, which—Sasuke grimaced at the mess he was surely going to be forced to clean up later—looked like it had been attacked by a tornado.

He couldn't give too much thought to that. He was feeling the effects of Sakura's actions.

Sasuke tugged at the collar of his shirt.

Was it getting hot in here?

There was something about the redness of her complexion or the dominance in her attitude when Sakura got really violent.

And when there was blood coating her attire, making it stick to curves he just wanted to run his tongue over?

Oh, that was even better.

He knew he was sick, okay?

"While in that pervert's paradise, I did see a few things...that you wouldn't totally hate."

Sakura's looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes.

"Y-you did?"

He chuckled. Scary kunoichi she was, he enjoyed making her a little more like the fan girl that he last saw before he left.

"Yes, Sakura."

He dipped his head low, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear so he could whisper to her.

"Would you like me to show you?"

Sakura cleared her throat and nodded quickly.

As soon as her back met Kakashi's bed, he did just that.

/

"Sasuke... What's that?"

Still breathing hard from their passionate coupling, the words came out with a bit of effort. They hadn't even bothered to get under Kakashi's sheets and just laid on top of the comforter, warmed by their shared body heat and the afternoon sun's rays pouring in from outside.

Sasuke, who was on his stomach, with his face in the crook of Sakura's neck grunted a muffled "Hn".

"Sasuke... Is that a camera?"

His head shot up and turned to see a lense in Kakashi's bookcase between Kids For Bakas and Kinjutsu: Forbidden Fruit.

"Fuck."

/

While three Sasuke clones fixed Kakashi's pervert cave and the soiled bed—Sakura's idea, why hadn't he thought of that before?—they tried to figure out where the tapes to the camera were.

They found three more cameras instead.

One in the kitchen.

"Gross!"

Another on the window of the living room.

"Crap."

The fourth, so small, barely noticeable, hidden in the plant on Kakashi's balcony.

"Really?"

In the end, they found no tapes.

"The cameras are wireless, meaning they must work on a feed. We have to find out where they're broadcasting."

Sakura whispered this to him while Kakashi was healed under her magic fingers.

It was all he thought of going to sleep that night.

When would he watch them?

Where would he watch them?

How much time did they have to find wherever the hell the cameras were linked to?

If Kakashi saw Sakura and him going at it in his room, he wouldn't be mad.

Oh no.

That was the worst part.

But he would watch them have sex.

And he'd see Sakura on top of him, beneath him, beside him...

No.

This would not do at all.

Contrary to popular belief, Kakashi wasn't like the father figure he lost. He was more like a man-slut older brother or a perverted uncle. His father never put dirty sex cameras in his bedroom to catch his mother and him...No, forget it.

He wasn't even going to go there.

/

Being woken up by the smell of breakfast was something Sasuke wasn't completely foreign to. Kakashi made breakfast at least once a week.

But this smelled entirely different from their usual omelet fare.

It reminded him of home and Saturday mornings at Sakura's house with a hangover that he wasn't entirely opposed to. Whenever he got drunk, he usually ended up in Sakura's apartment, where she would use her medical jutsu to cleanse his body faster.

His legs carried him through the doorway out of his room and down the hallway leading to the kitchen.

Naruto sat at the dark wood table in his claimed spot.

"Ha! And all this time, I thought you actually made your hair look like a rooster's butt with a shit ton of hair gel!"

Sasuke's fingers went up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

It was too early for idiots.

Sakura joined in Naruto's laughter, but soon stopped to place the last plate of food on the table: a perfect array of tomato slices.

"Look, Naruto and I came up with a plan to get that tape!"

Sasuke blanched at the thought of Naruto knowing about their predicament. If there was anyone who was almost as perverted as Kakashi, it was Naruto. He was Jiraiya's protegee after all; it was bound to turn out that way.

Naruto was his best friend and all—he'd die before admitting that, but it was true—but he didn't want him knowing about his sex life. Especially if that sex life involved Sakura.

And it would only ever involve Sakura.

Period.

Sure, Naruto had gotten over his crush on her, but watching him now, calling Sakura's breakfast "his favorite", Sasuke didn't want Naruto to ever have any more insight into that part of their relationship.

He already knew too much.

(He caught them a lot of times already, okay? Gosh.)

"Oh, relax, Teme! As long as I don't have to watch you and Sakura get all dirty, I'm glad to help! And as long as it's never in my bed..."

Naruto pretended to stick a finger down his throat and uttered a "bleck!"

What a baby.

Besides, they'd done it in his bed multiple times a month ago when Kakashi's apartment was getting its central air conditioner fixed and it was too hot to be in there. Sasuke bet Naruto still hadn't changed the sheets.

Sakura sat down next to the Uchiha, across the table from Naruto, and took his hand in both of hers.

"I'm gonna need you to watch Kakashi while he's out of the apartment today so that Naruto and I are able to find the tapes. We're gonna tear this place up and put it back together and for that we'll need to be precise. Can you do it?"

Spying on Kakashi?

"Hell no."

The three of them might have surpassed all of their own legendary sensei, including the gray haired jounin who was just rising from his bed, but that man was still the stealthiest and most aware ninja any of them had ever known.

He couldn't stay undetected while stalking Kakashi.

It wasn't possible.

"Then when he leaves to do errands, go with him, Teme! That way you can stall him too! Go and say you need his opinions on buying tomatoes or something..."

The worst part about Naruto's suggestion was he hadn't even meant to insult him.

The other bad part about it was that it actually sounded believable.

Paired with Sakura's pout, he couldn't refuse.

"Tch. Annoying... Fine."

"Yay!"

Sakura threw herself onto him and planted a firm one on his lips, Naruto's "GET A ROOM!" barely existing in the background.

It was the least she could do.

/

"How nice of you to accompany me to my meeting with Tsunade, Sasuke."

The sarcastic tone of Kakashi's voice wasn't there.

He was so sarcastic that most people wouldn't even be able to tell he was sarcastic.

What a douche.

"Hn."

"Right after we're done with my meeting, we'll go and get those 'tomatoes' you wanted."

The back of Sasuke's neck took on a blush.

Everyone loved to make him out to be some sort of tomato hoarder.

Tch. Whatever.

In all the years that Sasuke had known Kakashi, in all the months he had lived with him, it had never occured to him that he had never gone on a simple walk or run an errand with the man, so this whole charade was a bit exciting.

(He'd never admit that, though.)

(Atleast, not aloud.)

In those same years, it was made crystal clear that Kakashi wasn't actually what you would call "Paul Punctual".

That's why he was a little confused as to why they had left at 12:00 PM to an appointment that they had told Naruto and Sakura was at 12:30 PM.

They were supposed to be back at the house by 1:00 PM at the latest, meaning they had enough time to be back early.

He pondered on this until he almost crashed into Kakashi's form.

"What the—?"

The guy was leaning on a tree trunk.

Reading a book he had read over a thousand times.

Sasuke didn't know what compelled him to just stare at Kakashi's pose, as if he had practiced it a million times.

Back solid against the trunk, one foot on the ground, the other bent at the knee, stationed on the tree, right hand in his pocket, the left holding the book in place for him to read.

Had Kakashi always been this... well...

Cool?

/

"Where—"

First shelf is emptied with a sweep of the hand.

"Are—"

There goes the second.

"Those—"

And the third.

"Damn—"

And the fourth.

"Cameras—"

And the fifth.

"Broadcasting—"

And the last.

"To!"

The bookcase toppled over and onto the floor as Sakura inspected the wall it was formerly covering.

Naruto emptied drawer after drawer of Kakashi's clothing.

"Uh...Sakura-chan?"

As bedding fell to the floor, Sakura replied with a frustrated, "Yes, Naruto?"

"Um...Why does Kaka-Sensei have a pair of your underwear?"

Sakura stopped like a deer in headlights.

"Well... I ... Ilostabetokayshutupdon'ttellSasuke!"

"Uh, okay."

A few minutes passed before...

"Wait. How did you know they were mine?"

"Well..."

/

Sitting up in a tree to look cool kind of... just... happened. He didn't think anything of following Kakashi's chakra laden steps up the tree, just to sit on a branch where they were only partially visible to the rest of the world.

He said "partially" because, as the girls crowded across the street, staring into their tree, demonstrated... fangirls saw everything.

The whole time, Kakashi said nothing. It was almost as if he was in his own world of Icha Icha.

Neither did Sasuke, who just watched Kakashi.

It seemed as if making their way to a meeting—a perfectly bland scenario, really; they were just walking together—had allowed Sasuke to see the effortless self-assured-bad-ass-ness that his childhood sensei seemed to exude.

With a smirk and a chuckle, Sasuke leaned his head back against the—ridiculously comfortable, mind you—trunk of the tree as he situated his legs on the branch he and Kakashi shared.

He also forgot why they were outside in the first place. Maybe it was the beautiful day or the comfortableness of the tree, but it was so easy for him to just close his eyes and sleep.

Well, that was until...

"KAKASHI, MY ETERNAL RIVAL! How nice it is to see you trying to improve upon your lacking youth by becoming one with THE BEAUTIFUL WONDERS OF NATURE! And looky there! Your equally aloof protegee has joined you in your youth building! Splendid! Isn't that right—

Please, don't say he's here.

"—Lee!?"

"YOSH, GAI-SENSEI!

Fuck.

Kakashi snapped his book closed in the familiarly reluctant way that gave Sasuke deja vú as he remembered Kakashi responding to Naruto's pleas to learn something cool, like Chidori.

Tch, idiot.

As if.

"Hey, Gai. Lee."

Following Kakashi's lead, Sasuke gave the two a nod.

He didn't like greetings, anyway.

He especially didn't want to greet Lee.

It had been this way ever since he came back to Konoha and saw how close Lee and Sakura were as friends. He randomly brought her flowers, offered to take her out to lunch, and the two even trained together on a semiregular basis. This was all fine, bur it bothered Sasuke because it was obvious that Lee still liked Sakura a ridiculous amount and wished for her affections.

The day everyone in Konoha saw him and Sakura as more than friends—the day he came back, thanks to Sakura's possessive, and ridiculously hot, declaration—Lee had declared him as his eternal rival.

Didn't Lee get the memo that Naruto was already his rival?

Needless to say, Naruto was pissed at Lee for stepping into their dynamic, which fueled a heated spar, which caused injury, leading up to Sakura healing and then hitting them, effectively ending the whole spat.

Lee still liked calling him his rival, though.

"Kakashi, the last time I checked the score it was tied at 101! I say we take this beautiful opportunity to settle this horrid tie, my rival!"

The sigh Kakashi emited was visible as he jumped down from his comfortable perch to stand in front of Gai. Sasuke followed him in record time, using his height advantage of an inch and a half on Lee.

"Now really isn't a good time, Gai. I have a meeting with the Hokage soon."

"Nonsense! It will only take a second. I believe it is your turn to pick the challenge, Kakashi."

Sasuke watched the scene before him, Kakashi's comment turning gears in his head. They were going to be so late.

He hoped.

It made his job so much easier.

Sasuke took a look at Kakashi's contemplative face, with places to go, people to see, but in no such rush.

Besides, he kindofsortofmaybe liked spending time with Kakashi that wasn't on a couch in front of a tv in silence besides the rare, easy conversation they had.

The tree added cool points.

/

Sakura sat in the only clear space available besides Naruto, who was still panting a bit out of the exertion it took to move all the appliances, taking a look at the mess they had made from their search for Kakashi's "porn motherboard", as her teammate had dubbed it.

Their perch on the kitchen counter was making her butt numb.

They looked everywhere: Kakashi's room, his pervert closet, the bathrooms, the living room, the kitchen, and even Sasuke's room.

Besides finding out what their next birthday presents would be—jade hair chopsticks and leather gloves for Sakura, special kunai and ramen vouchers for Naruto—they found nothing.

As Naruto's clones set about cleaning everything back up again, Sakura thought to herself.

'If they aren't in his most personal place, his apartment, where could they be?'

/

It was an ingenious plan, really.

So why did fate just love to throw everything back in his face?

Sure, Kakashi's luck wasn't much better—the guy lost almost everyone he ever loved, for mochi's sake (a stupid catchphrase he had caught from Sakura and couldn't let go of)!—but shitdamnfuck!

Can't he get a break?

Kakashi had decided he and Gai would do a two minute challenge, which would consist of gathering as many girls' phone numbers as they possibly could.

Whoever had more, won.

Simple, right?

They even decided to throw in any numbers himself and Lee could get to each sensei's total score.

So then why were Kakashi, Gai, and Lee trying to currently speak on his behalf to the policeman who had just put chakra enforced handcuffs on him?

He knew he was a handsome guy in the eyes of many woman. For fuck's sake, the Mizukage eyed him like a piece of meat when he crashed the Kage Summit right before the Fourth Shinobi War.

He knew he was fine.

Ehem.

He knew he was attractive.

Therefore, he decided his plan of action would be to just go up to the group of fangirls across the road and smirk.

And smirk he did.

According to plan, they fluttered their eyelashes, raised their skirts higher on their waists, lowered their pants on their hips, flashed some coy smiles and proceeded to hand over their phone numbers and invite him to go later on with them to some party/club/drunken hangout.

Before he could even decline and walk away, a guy stood in his way.

Sasuke looked him up and down, from his mildly expensive shoes to his obviously artifically brightened teeth.

At least Lee's power of youth brightened his smile and not some overpaid dentist with too much self importance.

The guy's slicked back brown hair made him glare.

He was about to just walk around the guy and give him a glimpse of the Sharingan, but then he started talking.

"Excuse you, ninja. Were you just trying to court one of the girls in my harem?"

On a normal day, he would've ignored the scum, gave him a little Tsukyomi-induced slumber, and been on his way. But then he thought of Sakura and how he would never have any other girl besides her in his life as anything more than a friend. The values that had been bred into him when he was younger began to register in his mind.

His mother always told him that females should be treated with respect; if you couldn't give them what they wanted, don't give them false hope.

Sakura had rebranded that lesson into him and he was glad to know that she thought him as someone who made her as happy as she made him.

So where did this guy come off having a group of girls—whose self esteems were obviously too low to respect themselves enough to resist—follow him around, pining for his attention with his actions giving them the false hopes that he might pick one of them as anything more than a play thing?

A rage built up inside of him and, before Kakashi was able to stop him, he had delivered a solid kick to the gut of the idiot in front of him.

Now, he was in restraints and, with a bit of Kakashi's smooth talking, the civilian police officer looked like he was softening to the idea of turning a cheek to what just happened.

It's not like the guy he kicked could protest; he was passed out in a display of watermelons.

"Alright, just this once. But if you cause any more trouble I'll report it!"

"No worries, officer. My student won't be causing any more chaos any time soon."

The restraints came off and soon enough, the officer was gone.

This left a sobbing Gai and Lee at the fact that Kakashi and Sasuke had gathered more phone numbers even with police troubles.

"NEXT TIME I WILL DO MUCH BETTER AGAINST MY ETERNAL RIVAL, GAI-SENSEI!"

"SO WILL I, LEE! LET THE POWER OF OUR COMBINED FLAMES OF YOUTH LEAD US TO VICTORY NEXT TIME AROUND!"

Then they were gone into the sunset that had come out of no where with promises of a rematch in the near future.

"You shouldn't have done that, Sasuke."

This made him feel guilty. He hadn't meant to disappoint Kakashi, especially when it seemed like they were finally bonding.

"But I'm glad you did."

"...Huh?"

With a chuckle and a renewed walk towards the Hokage Tower, Kakashi left Sasuke more confused than he had felt in a while.

"Someone needed to teach that asshole a lesson."

/

"Sakura-chan, face it. We'll never find it in time. It's already 12:45! We don't have time to pull this place apart and look again. It'll take even longer than last time!"

Naruto whined as he laid on Kakashi's bed, face down in a pillow, knees bent with his heels in the air.

Sakura was too deep in thought to listen to Naruto's words.

Sitting on the wide sill of Kakashi's bedroom window, she looked out at the surrounded area.

Civilians and Ninja alike passed under the apartment outside, oblivious to her hunt.

The building across from Kakashi's was clearly visible and the open windows of the residents enjoying the spring breeze exposed their actions clearly.

Then, she saw it.

The one closed window with blinds out of the building's total six.

'Could it be?'

/

As the Hokage Tower came into view, Sasuke remembered why he and Kakashi were out and about and he grew nervous.

What if Sakura and Naruto hadn't yet found what they were looking for? What if they needed more time?

Sasuke looked around for a distraction.

Anything that would waste a little more time!

Kakashi found one first.

"Obaasan, would you like some help?"

Extra time for Naruto and Sakura came in the form of an old woman carrying the world's largest canvas knapsack on her back, along with a wheelbarrow full of rice plants.

Looking up from her widely brimmed straw hat, she smiled at the two of them.

"I don't want to be a burden to two handsome boys like yourselves! I'm sure you have places to go and people to see!"

The irony of her words hit the both of them like a ton of bricks.

"You're no burden at all, Obaasan. We would love to help."

He didn't know what he was getting them into.

Sasuke tried not to sag under the weight of the knapsack as the three of them trudged up the hill to the elderly woman's home at the top of the steep, rocky mountain. Not a drop of sweat was on her forehead, not a gray hair was out of place from her circular bun, or even a drop of moisture on her cream dress or lavender apron as the lady walked beside he and Kakashi.

On the other hand, the two of them looked, to put it frankly, like shit.

Sweat was making his black hair stick up in odd angles on his head and he wished for Sakura's chakra control, so holding his chakra in specialized places on his back and shoulders wouldn't be so hard in this heat.

Wasn't it supposed to get colder with a rise of altitude?

It was sweltering hot up here.

Sasuke looked to his right.

Kakashi looked no better than he. He was pushing the wheelbarrow the woman was steering earlier, but the gravity added so much strife to what would've been much lighter than the knapsack he was carrying.

He groaned.

"Here we are! You can just drop that stuff right beside the door, boys! Thank you for your help."

Sasuke swallowed the lump in his throat and caught his breath quickly before answering.

"It was our pleasure, Obaasan."

"Well, come in, come in! Sit down and let me get you something to drink!"

She ushered he and Kakashi inside where they could finally sit down.

/

"Sakura-chan, you're crazy."

"Naruto! I'm serious. I think we should check across the street."

Naruto only stared at her.

He was probably thinking that it was official. His female teammate had gone off the freakin' deep end.

That she wanted to trespass into a building that probably had nothing to do with what they were looking for.

All because of a window.

That was closed.

With blinds.

Naruto eyed Sakura's pouting expression.

"Sakura-chan, maybe they have air conditioning... or allergies! Just because everyone else has their window open, doesn't mean that apartment is hiding something."

"Naruto, just trust me on this! The breeze is perfect today and the pollen count is low at this time of spring in Konoha, everyone knows that."

"...What if they're allergic to nice breeze?"

"..." Twitch.

"...Please don't hit me."

"..." Twitch.

"..." Pout.

Sigh. "Let's just check across the street, Naruto."

/

He had always enjoyed the company of elderly people or just people that seemed to finally be at that stage of life where they could look at the younger generations, shake their heads, and go: "They don't know what waits for them."

The geriatric crowd was so much wiser than he. He only hoped he would be as wise as Tsubaki-obaasan. Her wrinkles probably had individual stories and he thought of how graceful Sakura would age before they died together.

Kakashi seemed intrigued by this new piece of information and as Tsubaki went back to the kitchen to get more lemonade, he said so.

"I had no idea your charm extended to sweet old ladies too, Sasuke."

"I don't see you shying away either, Kakashi."

"You obviously don't know my type."

Sasuke shook his head and downed the remaining juice in his cup.

Kakashi was either joking or entirely serious.

Either way, he didn't want to know.

"Thinking of Sakura?"

Now, that was new. Kakashi usually didn't ask him what he was thinking of, let alone pinpoint what exactly he was pondering.

Was this what it was like to have adult guidance?

"Something like that."

It felt nice. Like being in a perpetual hug. If he was a more open guy, he would hug Kakashi too.

"I have a feeling Sakura will still be as beautiful in her old age as she is now. Maybe, even more radiant."

The crinkled eye Kakashi gave compelled him to agree, among other things.

"Aa."

Little footsteps went taptaptap on the wooden floors of Tsubaki's quaint, two floor house.

"Obaachan!"

A little girl, around 10, wearing a yellow flowing dress that touched the top of her knees stopped at the sight of he and Kakashi on the couch in her living room.

"Konichiwa..."

Her quiet, little voice reminded him of the girl Naruto liked to eat at Ichiraku's with when the rest of Team Seven was too busy.

"Haru-chan, did you already meet Sasuke-san and Kakashi-san? They helped your old grandma bring a few things home from the market today and they've been keeping me company."

At being address, Hana blushed prettily. Her heart shaped face was framed by messy, curly auburn hair that fell into her glassy brown eyes.

Her hair reminded Sasuke of Sakura's hair in the morning after it dried from a late night shower and she didn't comb it through.

Natural and wild.

Hana shifted her sandal clad feet nervously and gave them a small smile.

"Come here, Haruhi. Tell me, how was Shinobi Sunshine today?"

That explained the blue sash decorated with badges she wore over her yellow dress.

Shinobi Sunshine Girls was for aspiring kunoichi who were still in the academy; the organization did a good job at raising money for lots of things like future ninja gear and weapons for the genin, who were given supplies once they left the academy. They also donated to the preservation of training fields from civilian businessmen who wanted to make waterparks or shopping malls or any other stupid attractions on the vast grassy areas reserved for ninjas.

"It was... okay."

The small downturn of Hana's lips told a different story.

"What's wrong Haru-chan?"

"Well...it's just that...Kimiko-san was telling everyone today about how many boxes of Sugar Shurikens she sold last week and it was way more then I did. I really wanna win the Supreme Seller badge, but it looks like she's gonna be the one to get it... I've been trying so hard though! And all she'll use the prize money for is to buy a new dress to impress Tamaki-kun!"

"Tamaki-kun? When did that happen Haru-chan?"

The mischievous smile on Tsubaki's face told of a longer story than Sasuke was sure he could ever sit and hear.

"What did you plan on doing with the money?"

Kakashi's interested tone sounded as relaxed as ever.

"I wanted to give it to the orphanage. And maybe take a little for some mochi!"

Sasuke grinned behind his glass of lemonade.

She was a more like Sakura than he had imagined.

Looking at the dimple in her right cheek, he felt the need to do something.

But Kakashi beat him to it, once again.

"Sasuke and I would be delighted to help, Haruhi-chan."

Haruhi looked startled at the offer, but seemed to warm up to the offer after Sasuke nodded in her direction.

"Okay. Can we start now?"

/

"Okay, Sakura-chan, I'm in, but the landlord is in his office!"

"Dammit."

They eventually decided to give the building a shot since Sakura felt so strongly about it. They needed a key to the room she believed to belong to Kakashi, since picking the lock would result in leaving evidence that they broke in.

And that was the last thing they wanted.

Sakura had been the one to scale the building and find the apartment that she believed belonged to Kakashi. Apartment 3B possibly held exactly what she was looking for, but they needed that. damn. key!

She could hear Naruto's breathing from her earpiece as she thought of an idea.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, Sakura-chan?"

"I think it's time for the landlord to meet Naruko."

/

"How are you guys supposed to help me sell Sugar Shuriken?"

"Don't you worry about that, Haruhi-chan. How about you go and get some anko dumplings and we'll meet with you later, okay?"

Haruhi looked up at Sasuke and tilted her head in a way that asked a question. What exactly she was asking, he didn't know, but he tried his best to assure her.

"We'll make sure you win that badge."

Haruhi blushed again and gave both he and Kakashi a low bow.

"Thank you so much, Sasuke-san, Kakashi-san!"

Then she ran off in the direction of Konoha's most popular dumpling stand.

"How are we supposed to do this?"

Usually, he wouldn't have admitted he had no idea how to go about something, but it seemed he was all out of sorts today.

Kakashi's head looked up at the sky, the breeze ruffling a few small strands near the height of his hair. With one hand in his pocket, the other holding the black handle of a small red wagon, he was an odd sight.

"We give them cookies. Whether they want them or not."

Getting what they wanted, which was the badge for Haruhi, by threatening others?

"Let's do it."

/

"Alright, I'm ready!"

What should've been Naruto's eager, deep, yet upbeat voice, sounded like a sluttier version of Hinata's high pitched falsetto.

"You actually like seducing guys, don't you?"

"You like to be spanked."

Sakura's face turned alarmed and she grabbed the elastic top to Naruko's flimsy tank top.

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?"

"Sasuke talks in his sleep. And it isn't about the massacre anymore."

Sakura's hand let go, effectively snapping the shirt back onto Naruko's ample chest.

"OW!"

"Shut up. And go in there and get me a key!"

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'll stand watch. Just get in there!"

Sakura positioned herself at the side of the landlord's office door, watching as Naruto/ko walking in, confident in the high heels he/she wore. She was alone in the shifty looking gray hallway, praying that Naruto got the key to apartment 3B.

/

"Take it! Take all the money! Just leave me alone!"

They had made a game out of shadowing this ridiculously paranoid guy for the last twenty minutes and, now that they revealed themselves, the guy was pleading for his life.

Psh, as if they'd actually kill this guy.

The man, obviously wealthy with his gluttonous appearance and silk threads, bowed before them so low that his bald, shiny head touched the floor.

Kakashi put the last 10 boxes of Sugar Shuriken on the floor of the alley they were crowded in before the guy's bended form. Picking up the money, Kakashi placed it in Haruhi's rainbow pouch with the rest of the money they had scared out of the rest of the unlucky bastards called "customers" they had "negotiated" with.

With the money they collected, Haruhi could give to the orphanage and buy so much mochi, it would fall out of her butt.

As they walked back to the dango stand the Sunshine Shinobi was waiting at, Sasuke couldn't help but feel like they had forgotten about something...

"Here you go, Haruhi-chan."

Haruhi looked at her rainbow pouch sitting in the red wagon, stuffed to its extremes with more Ryo than she expected.

"Thank you so much!"

Her auburn hair swished as she hugged them each around the stomach, which was really as she could reach. She hugged his legs extra long and said something he couldn't here.

"What was that?"

Still latched onto him, she raised her head slowly, heart shaped face completely red.

"I-I said...that your girlfriend...is lucky to have you."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in such a way that he got from Sakura.

"How did you know I had a girlfriend?"

Haruhi looked at Kakashi, then back at him, and giggled.

"Kakashi-san said you don't usually help little girls like me, so you might be feeling a little sick! But you don't look yucky-sick, or hurly-sick, so you must be lovesick!"

The startled look on his face assured her she was right.

Even after she skipped home, wagon in tow, his face was the same.

Kakashi stood in front of him, lax as ever.

"She's right, of course."

/

Hearing Naruto flirt was disturbing.

Usually, when he tried to flirt with Hinata, he sounded like a stuttering, pink faced fool, flailing his arms to make sure she was looking at him, saliva flying everywhere.

Hearing Naruko flirt was super disturbing.

Not because it was awkward.

No.

Not at all.

But because it was good.

Really good.

Just the right amount of "Handsome" and "Honey", a lot of cleavage, some bending, a book to knock the guy over the head with and Sakura was holding the key.

Looking behind her and seeing Naruto over her shoulder, curious to what was in this apartment, he gave her a nod.

Sakura twisted the lock and opened the door to find a studio apartment with no furniture.

Naruto was about the step in when he saw Sakura's eyebrows narrowed in concentration.

"Kai!"

Furniture began to emerge and the whole room changed.

In the center of it all?

Four surveillance monitors.

"Okay. This is way freaky."

"...Way way freaky."

/

They were at the ninja memorial stone. It stood there, gleaming under the afternoon sun. No rain to weigh down on Kakashi today. No loneliness to suffocate him either.

He hadn't said a word since they arrived back in the central area of Konoha.

Sasuke knew it was around 3:00 PM and that they had somewhere to go, but there was a sacredness about the minutes Kakashi spent looking at the stone that he felt it would've been disrespectful to remind him about their impending appointment.

More than almost everyone Sasuke had ever known, he was aware that Kakashi knew best how it was to lose all the people you ever loved. He was also aware that even after all the years and terrible/happy/unbelievable memories with Team Seven, nothing would ever fill the void of Kakashi losing his brave father, his famous sensei, his kindhearted teammate to circumstances he still didn't understand, and his other teammate to an evil that almost ended everyone else. It was the same knowledge Sasuke had of his entire family's death at the hands of his brother who he had hated for so many years, but now regretted not questioning and knowing better about. Nothing and no one would ever be able to erase the memory of coming home on a dark night and finding his family dead or the memory of killing the brother that would love him more than anyone had or could ever love him. It was a lonely feeling. They were lonely facts to face.

But being with people like the whole of Team Seven made it less lonely. So much less lonely to the point where he forgot he felt lonely most times.

And now, with Sakura, he was about to have the blood family that he had missed having for so long.

Maybe that's why he reached over, placed his hand on Kakashi's shoulder and said,

"Tell me about them."

Sasuke spent the next hour hearing about Team Minato's meetings at the red bridge, dinners at Ichiraku, and training sessions in Field 3.

/

She couldn't believe how stupid she was to actually believe that Kakashi's cameras were for something as stupid as catching Sasuke and her having sex. Or Kakashi and some skank having sex.

No.

What she had been looking at for the past few hours—the most important moments of her life—was not what she was expecting at all.

After Sasuke's return, things were rough. She had declared her love for him in front of everyone the second he walked through the gates, which was ridiculously foolish, but before they could be in an actual relationship, Team Seven had to work on healing the bonds that had been weakened (but never, ever broken) over the period of Sasuke's betrayal. There was the whole "You Tried to Kill Me" thing, the "You Left Me On a Bench" thing, the "You Almost Killed Naruto a Shitload of Times" thing, as well as the "You Recruited a Whole New Team... SERIOUSLY?" thing.

That last one always spawned the ugliest arguments, believe it or not.

Anyway, since Sasuke was on house arrest in the first few months of his stay with Kakashi, for any team bonding, they had to spend time in that apartment. This resulted in a lot of monumental events happening there.

There was their first sleepover the day after Sasuke returned. He was so exhausted from being healed that he slept on Kakashi's bed for two days because it was closest to the front door. She, Naruto, and Kakashi had taken tons of picture of him sleeping and even drew on his face.

"Hehee! Look, I gave Sasuke-teme a unibrow!"

"...He's still pretty handsome."

"I would have to agree."

It was hilarious.

The first fight Naruto and Sasuke had after he returned.

It was in the kitchen.

"YOU TRIED TO KILL ME, SASUKE! BEST FRIENDS DON'T DO THAT!"

"HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU THAT WE'RE NOT AND WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS?"

Naruto had to get sixteen stitches on his forearm after Sasuke threw a crystal vase at him filled with flowers she had brought over.

The fight stopped after that.

In the living room was the first time Kakashi yelled at Sasuke.

"We've chased after you for years, Sasuke. Now it's time you show that it wasn't all for nothing."

"I never asked you to chase after me."

"That's what teammates do; You never HAD to ask! YOU EITHER PROVE YOURSELF OR GET OUT!"

They didn't talk for days afterwards, but Sasuke never pushed them away after that.

Then, things took a turn for the better.

On Kakashi's balcony, Sasuke had kissed her for the second time.

It was perfect.

She lost her virginity that same night and there was no turning back since.

All of these memories and more were captured on the monitors in front of her. Watching them with Naruto brought on bouts of tears, laughter and reminiscent smiles of what a long way the four of them had come.

"Hey, Sakura-chan. Click on that."

Naruto was pointing to the only untouched file on the fourth computer marked "Watch Now".

Clicking on it, the screen was covered by a still of Kakashi sitting on his bed, obviously addressing the camera on his bookshelf that Sakura had discovered yesterday.

"What do you think it could be?"

Wasting no time in answering, Sakura pressed play and the picture came to life.

Kakashi, crinkled eye and all, was sitting on his bed.

Dressed in the pajamas he was wearing to breakfast this morning.

"Ah, so it seems you found out about my little home movies."

Sakura and Naruto stood up so fast from the chairs they were in that they fall to the floor with two loud BANG! sounds.

"Now now, don't be alarmed. And be careful with those chairs, their pretty fragile."

What the hell was going on?

"I suppose this is all my fault for not hiding the cameras better, but since it took you this long to notice them, I guess they were hidden pretty good. Look, allow me to explain..."

And then Kakashi proceeded to tell them that he had been videoing every second of the events in his apartment because he wanted a record of Team Seven.

"And then I was supposed to give this footage to you as a present on your wedding day, but as it turns out, this was the perfect opportunity to create an even more special occasion. Sakura, turn around."

Her eyes were glued to the screen as the video stopped playing, reaching its ending time.

Why did it want her to—?

"Sakura."

Her body couldn't be controlled as it whipped around at the sound of the deep baritone she had heard only in her dreams for three years.

There was Sasuke and Kakashi standing in front of her and Naruto.

Naruto quickly stepped toward his best friend and gave him a quick one-armed hug, which Sasuke reciprocated, looking too nervous to shrug off the support. The blonde moved behind him and stood next to Kakashi, who was readily filming the moment with a video camera attached to his face where his one exposed eye should've been seen.

Sasuke took her hands in his own, calling back her attention.

A knot started to build in her throat as gears turned in her head.

The cameras.

Naruto's help.

Sasuke being out all day with Kakashi.

"How long have you been planing this?"

"Kakashi's had this planned for weeks now. Naruto knew before I did. He only let me know about it after breakfast and it just seemed right. I know we're late, but..."

When one of Sasuke's knees hit the linoleum floors beneath their feet, her eyes started to water.

"Sakura, you know me better than anyone else has ever known me—"

"Ehem."

Sasuke's head whipped back to look at Naruto's annoyed expression.

"Dude. Does the orphan thing mean nothing—OW!"

Kakashi's hand moved back to his side and Sasuke took that as his cue to continue.

"As I was saying, you know me better than anyone else has ever known me, even when I lost sight of who I was for a long time. I've put you through so much pain when all you've ever done is love me and that's why I'm doing this; I want to make you happy for the rest of our days because you make me complete, Sakura. So, will you marry me?"

She tried to say yes.

Really, she did.

But all that happened was a nod, choked sobs, and tears.

Sasuke shook his head and placed his mother's engagement ring on her finger before gathering Sakura into his arms, holding her while she cried. Naruto's "AWWW"s, Sakura's crying, and the sound of Kakashi's cameras taking picture while, presumably, still filming were the only sounds in the studio apartment.

Talking into his shirt, Sakura whispered declarations of her love as Sasuke placed kisses on her hair.

/

Later on, while they laid on his bed, covered only by moonlight, she asked him why he said he was four hours late.

"We were supposed to be back by one but we got back to you at almost 4:30. I guess it was a good thing since you found the last video right when we arrived."

"...But," Sakura propped herself up on her elbows while Sasuke caressed the length of her exposed back, "Why did you take so long?"

"..."

"Sasuke?"

"..."

"...?"

Sigh. "...We..."

"What?"

"We got lost...on the path of life."

Sakura only looked at him and laughed, snuggling into his arm and drifting off to sleep.

Tch. Fine. If she didn't want to believe him, that was her business.

Sasuke pulled Sakura closer as he laid on his back, staring at the ceiling.

That night, Sasuke went to sleep thinking about his idiot best friend, his future wife, and the man who was more like a father than he had known.

Soooo... I hope that was enjoyable.

Dicta Prius will be updated soon, I'm just super busy and cranked this out on a train ride. DP requires more finesse, guise.

xx mm.