Title: How Coyote Starrk became a Member of the Gotei 13 (On Accident)
Author: darkling59
Fandom: Bleach
Date Published: 3/26/2013
Disclaimer: Bleach and all associated characters, settings, concepts, etc within this story do not belong to me. Character spellings will attempt to follow those on the Bleach wikia.
Summary: Recovering in the Living World after the Winter War, Starrk and Lilynette realize there is something strange going on with the shinigami and, in order to figure out what is going on, Starrk sneaks into Seireitei disguised as a shinigami. he accidentally becomes embroiled in the war effort. As he tries to find a way out without telling anyone who he actually is, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay aloof.

Prologue

It started, as so many things often do, with a completely innocuous comment made by Lilynette:

"Hey, I wonder what those shinigami are doing? You know, the ones we fought? I haven't seen ANY shinigami in forever!"

Starrk, peacefully dozing on his new (stolen) pile of cushions, opened one eye to look at her and gave a languid shrug. "They're probably back in Soul Society doing whatever it is that shinigami do when they're not killing hollows."

Her visible eye rolled in exasperation as she dug through their latest haul, looking for anything interesting she'd missed the first time through. Neither of them felt much remorse or shame for stealing and scavenging, so they tended to take what they wanted whenever they wanted. It helped that human security systems and barriers couldn't affect them.

After being grievously injured by the pink-clad captain and left for dead by their own comrades, the two of them had chosen to stay in the human world and under the radar of everyone involved in the Winter War. They left Karakura Town as soon as they were able and fled, on foot, towards a less spiritually sensitive human city. (Using reiatsu was avoided at all costs because it could draw the attention of the shinigami who were hunting down surviving arrancar.) After passing through several candidate locations, some of which were far too noisy for Starrk's taste and others too boring for Lilynette, they finally settled down right outside the city of Fuji, in the Shizuoka Prefecture of Japan.

It was full of interesting people and animals, situated in a picturesque location, warm enough not to remind them of Hueco Mundo, and not too noisy or boring. They lived on the coast within sight of the ocean which, for two creatures that had spent their lives in a featureless, inhospitable desert, was absolutely fascinating. Lilynette especially enjoyed playing in the tide pools and searching the beaches for interesting shells and trinkets left by the waves.

The only drawback was that no one could see them. They chose a place with low spiritual pressure on purpose, but the loneliness was getting to both of them. After finally having comrades, it was difficult to go back to being unacknowledged with no one capable of perceiving that they were there. Living on the fringes of society, watching the humans' daily lives but unable to take part, was somehow just as bad as simply being alone. Thankfully, Starrk had learned to control his spiritual pressure enough that he wasn't accidentally killing the humans nearby, but he had to constantly be on guard.

Both of them knew the situation, while useful for recuperating, could not last forever. Hueco Mundo was not an attractive alternative but Soul Society was just plain impossible and shinigami patrolled the human world enough to be a dangerous hassle.

At least, that's normally what they did. Lilynette was correct when she said they hadn't been around for a while. It was becoming suspicious.

"Starrk, c'mon! You can't go back to sleep!"

He yawned and turned his back to her.

"HEY!"

His breath whooshed out in a pained grunt as a small pointy shoe delivered a sharp kick to his gut.

"Get UP, Lazy ass!"

"Alright." With speed born of long practice, the former primera caught her shoe before it could connect a second time. "I'm up. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." She huffed and yanked her foot out of his grasp. "I'm just sayin' it's weird, that's all."

The former primera stretched and settled back, observing his young counterpart with mild confusion.

"Is it? Maybe they do this all the time in the Living World."

She scowled and stalked a short distance away, refusing to look at him.

"You don't think it's weird at all? I mean, aren't they supposed to patrol and stuff?"

A slight shrug was his only answer.

"Come on! You have to be curious, at least!"

"Not really. What the shinigami do is their business. Why are you worried?"

"I am NOT!"

This time, her kick caught him squarely in the back of the head.

"OW! Stop it! What do you want me to say?"

"Oh shut up. You just don't get it." With an irritated scowl, she flounced away, leaving a confused arrancar in her wake. True to form, Stark puzzled over it for a moment then gave a mental shrug and went back to sleep.

Over the next few weeks, Lilynette did not mention the shinigami again but Starrk could not get her words off his mind. He had mixed feelings about the soul reapers; on one hand, they were the most hated enemies of all hollows due to…well…being hypocritical single-minded hollow-killers. On the other hand, Aizen was kind to Starrk (even if it was an illusion), that white haired captain tried to spare Lilynette, and many shinigami truly tried to do the right thing, even if that didn't look right from any perspective but their own.

Case in point: the captain that tried to kill Starrk. He attacked from behind on the belief that the ends justified the means so killing Starrk in any way possible was more important than his honor (hence, the sneak attack). But the arrancar was an open-minded person, and he was aware that the captain believed wholly in what he fought for, while Starrk didn't care one way or the other. He was just fighting on Aizen's orders.

Philosophical musings aside, the absence of shinigami in the Living World was worrying because it meant they were occupied elsewhere, with a threat great enough to distract them from the leftovers of Aizen's army and their duties to the humans.

If it was that powerful, it could be a threat to Hueco Mundo and the arrancar as well. More importantly, it could be a threat to Starrk and Lilynette.

Dammit.

"Lilynette!"She wasn't in sight, but should be able to hear him.

"Yeah?" the shout came from way down the beach.

"How would you feel about a field trip to Soul Society?"

"WHAT?!"

It was a good thing they'd lifted the ban on using reiatsu because she sonido'd to his side in less than a second, staring at him incredulously. If he didn't talk fast, she'd start trying to knock sense into him.

"I've been thinking about what you said. I still don't care what the shinigami do with themselves, but it might be good to figure out why they vanished."

"And your first choice is 'knock on the front door'?!"

He rolled his eyes.

"We won't be knocking. I'll disguise myself as a soul reaper and ask for information from the souls in Rukongai. I won't go anywhere near Seireitei, and we'll avoid any real shinigami. You can keep an eye on the situation from the outside and watch for any new Garganta or whatever it is they use to get around."

"You don't think they'll sense our Garganta?"

"They can't. Shinigami don't have pesquisa and their sense of smell isn't very good. If we suppress our reiatsu, there should be no way for them to find us."

"Aizen was able to open and seal Garganta."

Starrk shrugged lackadaisically. "Even if they can, then what? I can just make another Garganta and get us out of there, if we aren't too far away for them to track."

"Huh. Okay, I guess. Now?"

"Nah, let's give it a few days. I want to…prepare." He settled back with a yawn, dozing as he contemplated their 'mission'.

"Lazy bastard…"

Author's Notes:

This is going to be a relatively short and silly story about Starrk's endeavor to find answers about the shinigami, and where that leads him and Lilynette (the title is pretty self-explanatory). It was one of the most popular choices in my profile poll, along with Turnabout.

I hope you liked it! Starrk is one of my absolute favorite Bleach characters, and he deserves more love.

And hey! Last day of block updating! After this, I'll be updating the chapters as I finish them rather than alongside 'Souls Without' and/or 'Howling at the Moon'. I'll probably still try to update during the week and write on the weekends, but I won't stick to the schedule I was on before.

I know I HAD more to write down here, but I don't remember what it was and I don't want to delay posting just for the comments section.

Let me know what you think! Please REVIEW!