Attack of the Purple Octopus Bikini

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Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or make any money from this fanfic.

A/N: I was very saddened by the lack of Otae/Kyuubei fics. So I wrote one. :) I hope you like it!

Kyuubei sat at the breakfast table, reverently contemplating one of her most prized possessions. Sure, to anyone else, the blackened charcoal-like omelet was "dark matter". But as Kyuubei turned the omelet over in her hands, all she could think of was Otae. Otae had carefully cracked the egg against the kitchen counter. Otae had stood there with a large cheerful smile as she beat the egg and poured it into a skillet. Otae had continued to stand at the counter with the same smile as the omelet burned and sent up a puff of blackened smoke. Otae had glanced over at the blackened crisp of an omelet, cheerfully announced that it was well done!, and finally, Otae had lovingly scraped the now charcoal omelet onto a serving plate.

Kyuubei turned the omelet over in her hands again. How could anyone not appreciate a meal that was created with so much love?

"Kyuubei," Otae cheerfully called as she entered the house. "I bought you a bathing suit, so we can go swimming together!"

Kyuubei put the omelet back in its case and guarded it for safe-keeping. She didn't want Otae to be upset that she hadn't eaten the omelet.

Swimming with Otae seemed appealing. But wearing a skimpy, revealing bathing suit was #359 on Kyuubei's list of most hated things to do, right between getting a bikini wax and having needles stuck underneath her fingernails.

Otae interpreted Kyuubei's silence as agreement and rummaged around in her bag, then victoriously held up an extremely stringy piece of clothing.

Kyuubei stood up and eyed the purple monstrosity with apprehension.

Otae held up the swimsuit and pressed the material against Kyuubei's chest. "Purple goes well with your complexion," Otae observed.

Kyuubei could feel Otae's warm hands through the fabric of her kimono.

"It looks about the right size, why don't you go try it on?" Otae suggested.

x

"Let me know when you're done, Kyuubei," Otae said as Kyuubei walked into her room to try on the bikini.

It was funny, Kyuubei had never been allowed to play with dolls or practice dressing them up, and now she felt like Otae's personal life-sized doll. Not that she minded. Kyuubei blushed. No, anything Otae wanted was wonderful…it was just that sometimes she wished Otae felt the same way she did. Kyuubei would always love Otae, but Otae deserved so much more. Otae deserved someone who would love and cherish and treasure her, and who she loved in return. If that person wasn't Kyuubei, well, then she only wished Otae would be happy, no matter who she chose.

Kyuubei looked at the bikini top. It was like an octopus, a purple octopus, with too many straps and fastenings. It was a miracle that anyone anywhere ever figured out how to put these things on. Kyuubei experimentally put one arm through a loop formed by one of the straps, then the other, and then brought another loop over her head and around her neck. She looked at herself in the mirror and frowned. No, that couldn't be right. She tried adjusting the top, but the thing seemed to have a mind of its own, and Kyuubei soon ended up in a tangle of arms and legs and purple stretchy material that probably wasn't supposed to stretch that much.

Kyuubei wondered if this was the most ingenious torture device ever invented, or maybe it really was an octopus, or had been an octopus in a past life. Kyuubei struggled and tried to wriggle out of the octopus-bikini, but now that it had her in its clutches, it refused to let go, and Kyuubei ended up panting on the floor in a giant purple tangle.

"Kyuubei, are you done yet?" Otae asked.

"Mph," answered Kyuubei.

"Don't worry, no one else is going to see you."

"Mph," answered Kyuubei.

"Kyuubei, stop fooling around." Otae entered the room and surveyed the damage. Her expression softened when she saw Kyuubei in a tangled heap on the floor. "Here, let me help."

Then Otae was carefully undoing and untangling and replacing straps, and she managed to tame the octopus back into a respectable piece of clothing within a few minutes.

Kyuubei blushed as Otae straightened and flattened the elastic band that ran underneath her breasts.

"There," Otae said victoriously, and stood back to admire her work. "Oh, Kyuubei," Otae gushed. "You look adorable! I was right, purple looks good on you, and that style fits you perfectly!"

Kyuubei was happy that Otae was pleased, and then she turned to look at herself in the mirror. Kyuubei turned a darker shade of red. It was terrible. The octopus bikini hadn't been tamed after all, just changed into a different form; it maliciously showed off Kyuubei's full chest, plunging down to reveal ample cleavage. She would have enjoyed seeing it on another girl, but on herself- ! "Tae-chan…" she choked out.

Otae placed her hands soothingly on Kyuubei's shoulders, and they felt soft and warm. "Oh, Kyuubei, I know you're probably not used to wearing clothes like that, but it won't seem so strange after a while. Besides," she added happily, "We'll get to go swimming together!"

Kyuubei thought of swimming, or getting to see Otae in a bathing suit, and if it were possible she would have blushed even more.

And then Kyuubei finally realized something: Otae had wanted to see her in a bathing suit. And an extremely revealing bathing suit at that. Could it be? She would have to pay more attention from now on.