"I'm not cowering!" Pitch called out as he nervously jumped away "I'm just assessing the situation from, uh, way over here"

As he said this, all the chains that held the four up broke, and they began to fall. Just at the last second Toothless swooped in and caught them.

"I totally forgot Toothless was here" Said Merida

"Me too" Said Rapunzel

"Rawr" said Toothless

"I forgot I could fly" Said Jack

I had forgotten that as well.

"We have to get out of here!"

All the exits were blocked.

"All the exits are blocked!" Rapunzel shouted.

"With what?" Asked Jack.

They were blocked with giant crabs.

"We can't get through the giant crabs!"

Hahahahahahahahaha, that's what she sai-

"Yes we get it, thank you."

Suddenly the walls started closing in.

"Let's just shoot her and get it done with" Merida held up her bow at the ready.

My dear Merida. How naïve to think that getting rid of me would make you free. You are works of fiction after all.

"Whhhaaaaaat" Rapunzel exclaimed after a pause. Oh dear, it seems you didn't know. Rapunzel, you've read a book before haven't you?

"Three, actually." She said. "Many times"

That's you now, Rapunzel, you're in a book. It's actually an online fan-fiction, but let's not get hung up on detail. The water had drained away by now, and Toothless set them all down on the damp ground. Jack lowered his staff and looked quizzical.

"But I exist! I can exist on my own!"

Dude, even if you were real you would be imaginary to most people. You're Jack Frost – remember? He looked a bit hurt at this.

"But he has a point! We already know we exist without you!" Hiccup spoke up.

Fine then, let's see how THAT works!

"See how what works?"

…

"Who said that?"

"I said that, but who said THAT?"

"Oh my goodness, I have no idea who's speaking"

"I'm so confused…"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Stop calm down, I have an idea… said Hiccup"

"Oh I see, said Rapunzel, we can narrate ourselves!"

"Merida started doing a wiggly dance with her bum"

"Shut up Jack, no I'm not!"

"Hahaha!"

"We… we can't tell who's speaking without a narrator, said Hiccup, what does this mean!"

"It means… we really are works of fiction…"

"Who said that?"

"A made-up nobody character…."

"Hmm, sound's depressing, might have been Pitch who said it."

"Oh"

"You know, I think we can survive without the Narrator, we're doing fine"

"Who said that?"

"So this is all YOUR fault! Shouted Merida"

"..who's fault?"

"My fault?"

"Who are you shouting at Merida? Is it Jack?"

"Ugh, no, guys… the Narrator…"

Oh lol you mean me? What's my fault now?

"This ridicules time we've had as the 'Big Four' – chasing ducks, going to farmers markets, playing dance mat. Sometimes you typed in a put-on Scottish accent – which I personally found very insulting – and then you made me COMPLETELY out of character MOST OF THE TIME!"

Said Jack

"WHAT! NO, said MERIDA, AYE SAID THAT! Did you just type 'aye even though I just told you-"

"And what about all the plot holes!"

What plot holes, Jack?

"What happened to Ingo, that German lady man?"

Oh yes him! Uhh, at that moment Ingo came out with a plate of freshly made carrot cupcakes.

"Mmmnd what about Norffs date?" Hiccup said through a mouthful of cupcake. "'Oo wasf it?"

Urgh, you're mum.

"My mum's dead!"

"Why do I have a moustache?!"

"You said YOU'RE instead of YOUR, idiot!"

"And what about the sting ray, and the-"

Oh come on guys! This story was TAME. I checked for spellings – you probably won't be that lucky next time!

"What do you mean?"

You think that when I finally end this story you can just go and be free and do whatever you want? No.

"Do we DIE!? Are you going to kill us?"

No you don't, calm down Rapunzel. Even though I'm going to kill you, you'll live on in someone else's fantasy. In someone's fan art or fan fiction. Maybe some of you will be lucky enough to actually have more canon material. Not mentioning names, but, Hiccup.

"Yissssss"

But you will have to suffer ordeals much more treacherous then the ones I put you through. You'll fall in love, sometimes with NSFW stuff. You'll witness horrors; experience pain and utter embarrassment. You'll be broken, fixed, left on a cliff hanger, unfinished. You'll lose each other and those you love and then die yourself. You'll keep living and dying this way, again and again until-

"MERIDA SHOT THE NARRATOR!"

Ow!

…

Oow!

"Flip me down Merida, you shot the narrator!"

"What do we do! She's dying! The story's going to end, it's going to end! We're going to be put through HORRIBLE THINGS!"

D..dddon't

"She's speaking, shhhhh!"

Don't worry Rapunzel. Some fanfics are actually really well written. And some art is really nice. I g-guess it's more important to carry on living for th-the nice things. Plus there's a cool Harry Potter AU… you'll enjoy that.

"Oh my word, oh my word, what do we do, do we pull it out?"

"I thought that wasn't a good thing to do?"

"What do we dooo!"

Let it be. This story needed to finish some time or another. I just I hope you will forgive me for sometimes mischaracterising you – and sometimes making you really stupid – Jack.

"What!? When was I stupid?"

"All the time"

"Aww!"

"I-I'm sorry I shot you"

Oh lol dw Merida, it's probably the first in-character thing you've done so far. And, thank you, thank you all. I never thought this would happen, but, you all have minds of your own. You all can think for yourselves. Perhaps you have some control of what happens to you in fiction…I don't know any character who ever shot the narrator, hahah… maybe there's hope for you… I'm so proud of you all…

I, I must go. It's been fun…. Goodbye…

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait! I need to know something!"

What is it Jack, I'm trying to flippin' die in peace here! Jack leant in and whispered

"Who do they ship me with – in the fandom?"

Oh Jack, my dear Jack. They ship you with everyone.

And with that I drew my final breath and whispered:

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