A/N: I got a request to write what happened after their deaths. It took sometime and some convincing from both myself and my inner 'Ferre, but I finally wrote it. So. Here's the last installment of Combeferre's Litte Fall of Rain...
In the darkness I can hear an angelic voice calling out to me and it stirs my being into existing again: 'Combeferre...Combeferre, wake up. Open your eyes before you miss it…Combeferre, I'm here…Can you hear me?'
Slowly I open my eyes and sit up with care from where I lay taking in my surroundings as I do. I'm in Musain, but it's not how I remember it last. Not too long ago it was in ruins, shambles, and rained with blood…no, now it was perfect. Everything about it was perfect. It is more glorious looking than it ever had been before. The wood shines almost from the light coming through the windows, windows that are no longer broken.
I don't understand. What happened? How did this happen? How did such horror become so beautiful and new again?
The last thing I remember was Joly resting his hand on my shoulder and then…nothing. There was no pain, no hurt, just the darkness and this feeling of being nothing. Then: I was here.
I climb to my feet slowly and brush myself off before walking—no, more like—gliding towards the table in the corner. I'm distracted now by my movements and have to stop to look down at my feet. I step forward and it looks natural, but it feels so different. I can't explain the feeling. It's almost like I'm suddenly weightless and floating on my own feet. How could this be?
I'm dead. This is death. This is what it feels like to be dead.
I freeze in this second pushing away the thoughts of my movements to consider the most recent: That's right. The darkness was my world going black and my soul leaving my body, but then where am I now? I'm at Musain, but if I am dead…then why I am not in Heaven?
I go to the table and look down to see the all too familiar map that I would stare at with Enjolras for hours on end while Courfeyrac rambled on about something or another. This is where we spent most of our days planning; I glance around at the other tables seeing papers and mugs, bottles and books. My friends are all dead too, but why are they not here? Why am I alone? What have I done to deserve this?
'Combeferre, are you awake yet?' The voice belonged to a male.
My heart stops at the voice ringing in my head and I turn to look at the room, but see nothing. I open my mouth hoping that this strange realm will allow my voice to exist and thankfully it does, but in a soft almost angelic tone, 'Who said that?'
'You've been asleep for a long time. We were beginning to think you'd never wake up.'
I go slowly to the steps and look down them, 'Hello?'
This time the response is a different voice: 'Always so punctual about being on time and yet he's the one who lulls about not wanting to wake up.'
Another voice: 'Don't say that! He has his reasons for not waking up as fast as the rest of us.'
I stop on the landing of the staircase not sure if I want to move or not, but as I stand here I take in what I can see of the lower level of Musain and again I am amazed at the beauty it now holds. Everything shines in the light leaking in, even the bottles have their gleam and I find myself not moving as I stare at everything.
'You're making us wait again, Combeferre! Hurry it up!'
I snap out of my daze remembering the strange voices and I'm forcing myself to finish my descent down the stairs. I pause again in the room to look around when suddenly something is blocking the light streaming in from the doorway. I turn my head to see what it is and my mouth goes dry, 'Courfeyrac?'
'We were wondering when you'd finally wake up,' he smiles brilliantly at me then crosses the room to take my hand smacking my arm as he does, 'I can't believe you took the longest to wake up.'
I ignore his comment to ask the question that has been bothering me since I woke, 'Where are we?'
He shrugs at me keeping the smile, 'We don't know. I think this is one more step towards Heaven. It only makes sense.'
'Why aren't you in Heaven then?'
'We couldn't leave without our Guide,' I look back at the doorway to see Enjolras standing there with a smaller smile than Courfeyrac's, 'It wouldn't feel right without you being there with us.'
'So it's true then, we've all been killed.'
'Yes,' Enjolras walks into Musain where he touches my arm reassuringly, 'but we died fighting for what we believe in.'
The sound of someone snorting comes from the door and we turn our sights to see Grantaire standing there, 'Speak for yourself, I died because I couldn't let you get killed alone.'
'You're a good friend Grantaire,' Enjolras says softly then turns to me again, 'You've kept us waiting for some time now, but more importantly…you've kept her waiting.'
I feel my jaw slacken and my eyes widen, 'What are you talking about? Who have I kept waiting?'
Courfeyrac pats my back nodding towards the door, 'Go on mate, she's waited long enough.'
I exchange looks between the three, but then Grantaire is stepping—no, more like—floating out of my way so I can have full access to leave. I glide towards the entrance on light feet wishing I knew what was going on, but the minute I step out onto the street I am greeted with the sight of smiling faces all belonging to my friends. They are standing in a crowd all deep in conversation; some turn to acknowledge my presence while others keep to their groups, but those who I know the best all vocally speak up to greet me. But only one approaches me completely.
He stands a few feet shorter than me, but holds a smile brighter than I've ever seen before, 'You got a lot of nerve sleeping as long as you did. I think she was starting to worry.' He doesn't wait for me to respond and instead turns to look past the group of men to where our barricade still sits blocking the street.
And it too is as glorious as Musain had been; each piece of furniture seems to shine brighter than the last and the red flag blows in the nonexistent wind. The flag is also a wonder to stare at, but I'm not looking at it any longer. No. I'm looking next to it feeling my lifeless heart ready to burst.
There on the barricade…looking like an angel straight out of heaven she stands with the softest of smiles directed at me.
A smile for me?
I glance behind me almost ready to see Marius there, but I hadn't seen him in the crowd and there were no others to look at aside from me. I slowly turn my gaze back to her and she's laughing.
I feel hands on my lower back pushing me forward and I look back to see Gavroche with his head ducked down trying to move me, 'This would be easier if you moved yourself.'
I don't know what to do…for the first time in my life I don't know what to do. Do I move? Do I go to her? Or do I stay here and realize this is all not real?
'Combeferre.' My breath halts altogether and I'm looking up at the barricade to where she's smiling at me, 'You made a promise to both the Lord and me that night…are you going to keep it?'
'Y-y-you heard me?' I'm not sure how I manage to get the words out, but they slide out of my mouth and she nods.
'I heard everything and I want to hear more…if you'll say.'
I'm gliding across the ground again and this time I'm doing it purely out of instinct; my mind is so caught up in its thoughts that I don't know what else to say or do.
Tell her how you feel…tell her what you promised you'd tell her…
I come to a stop at the bottom of the barricades and make the decision to climb up it never taking my eyes off her; in seconds I'm just below her feet looking at her trying to calm my breathing and nerves to talk.
'I've waited here a long time Combeferre, will you say it?'
I intake a quick breath and my nerves seem to settle as I stare up into those dark eyes, 'I love you, Éponine.'
Her eyes grow watery and a tear follows the action which makes her close her eyes.
'I should've told you…' my voice cracks and I don't care that the others are all standing below us listening, waiting; 'I should've said those words a long time ago, but instead I stayed quiet. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to go back to tell you those words while we were alive. I wish—I wish I could…' my breath hitches and I'm finding it harder to speak in this voice that was given to me in death, 'I wish I could have saved you from dying, Éponine.'
She's shaking her head now and her eyes are opening; she crouches down to take my face in her soft hands smiling gently, 'No, don't say that. If you had died and I had lived…I would've never known that you felt this way.' She lets out an airy laugh, 'I was so blinded by what I thought was love for Marius that I never even noticed you standing there. You were always such a good friend to me, but I was foolish and didn't see how you truly felt. Bless the Lord for taking me into His arms, but bless Him even more for allowing me to hear your words after my passing. Combeferre…' she pauses as more tears roll down her cheeks, 'I was willing to wait for as long as you wanted me to. I would wait forever if it meant that by the end of time you could forgive me for being so childish and not seeing you there.'
Now it's my turn to shake my head in her hands and I reach up to rest a hand over one of hers, 'No, don't even think that. You needn't my forgiveness. You already have my heart, always have, and always will. You, Éponine, are the reason I was afraid to wake up'—I'm starting to remember more of that darkness I went into—'Because I was afraid that if I did you wouldn't be here and that I would have to walk through Paradise's door alone wishing that I could be in Hell instead.'
'Why do you say that?'
'Because every moment I spend in Heaven without you is equivalent to a lifetime in Hell.'
Her lower lip trembles and she leans forward resting her forehead to mine and I close my eyes staying quiet waiting for her to do something, but then she does and I can swear that even though I'm not in Heaven I'm close to it. Her lips touch mine gently and the warmth envelopes me faster than the darkness of death did.
I lean into her kiss and rest on my knees as my other hand comes up to cup her cheek. I can feel a wave of emotions pour over me, drenching me in things I've never felt before. It takes me a moment to realize, but I'm clinging to her in this moment. My lips are begging her to never part from them and my hand on hers is entwining our fingers not wanting to release it. My mind and soul are both lost to her with my heart. There's no going back to change the past; there's no wishing we hadn't died; there's only us here and now in this moment given by God.
She pulls herself away from me to look in my eyes with that soft smile, 'You never have to be apart from me again, Combeferre. From this point on wherever you go, I go. We shall be there together in God's Paradise and never without the other. Do you know why?'
My heart is about to burst in my chest, but I find my blessed voice, 'I think I do…'
'Just let me tell you for the sake of it needing to be finally said,' she strokes her thumb over my cheek and smiles at me with the radiance of Holy Light that melts my soul on this Heavenly barricade. She opens her mouth and I finally hear the words which I've prayed to hear for so long, 'I love you, Combeferre…'