for those of you who dislike Marcy, I fixed everything! For those of you who momentarily thought this stopped being a Jori fic, you are very silly.
Marcy and I have been dating for three months when Jade shows up at my apartment, unannounced, again. I fill a glass with water and sip at it as I stand in front of her. My arms are crossed and I lean against the wall behind me.
"What do you want now?" I ask. She's almost eight months pregnant and she folds her hands around her stomach.
"Beck and I are getting a divorce." She says. I blink silently.
"Okay." I take a gulp of my water. "Do you need a place to stay or something?" I ask. She shakes her head.
"No, I don't think so."
"Then why are you here?" I set my glass of water on the coffee table and push my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt.
"I want to try my life with you." She tells me. She stands up and crosses the room. She's incredibly close to me and I don't even have the option of backing up.
"Jade…"I breathe softly. This isn't fair. I should love Marcy. She's my girlfriend. But here Jade stands in front of me and I want her. She pulls me to her, her belly presses against me and I can feel her daughter kicking. She kisses me hard and when she pulls away she is breathless.
"You don't have to decide now; it will take a few months for the divorce to be finalized. I just wanted to let you know." She starts to leave and I pull her back to me. I grab her biceps in my hands and I know I'm squeezing too hard, maybe hard enough to bruise.
"Fuck you." I say. Her eyes are wide and she looks frightened. Her hands push at my chest as she tries to break free. I grip tighter at her arms.
"Fuck you Jade!" I yell and throw her away. She backs up several steps and stares at me.
"What's wrong with you Tori?" She asks. Her voice trembles.
"You!" I scream. "You're what's wrong with me." I throw my hands into the air. She'll never understand. She won't ever get it.
"I thought you'd be happy." She murmurs. She starts to cry.
"Happy?" I laugh. "For what!" I rub my hand over my eyes. "For ruining your marriage, destroying your family, or inevitably breaking the heart of my girlfriend because I can't breathe without you?" I step closer to her and she flinches. Her hands wind around her belly protectively.
"Tell me Jade, are these things worthy of happiness?" I seethe. She shakes her head and now tears are pouring down her face.
"I'm sorry!" She says.
"Good!" I say and pull her to me. I crush my lips against hers and bite her bottom lip. I dig my nails into her back and she does the same to me. I groan and she shoves her tongue into my mouth. I pull away and stare at her silently. I lift my hand and wipe the tear away from her cheek.
"Go home Jade." I tell her.
"I'm sorry." She repeats. I shake my head.
"Me too." I pick my glass off of the table and go to the kitchen. I hear the front door close and lean against the wall. I slide to the floor and pull my knees to my chest and scream angrily. I'm sobbing and I can't see through my tears but it doesn't matter because I hate myself for loving her just as much as she hates herself for loving me.
Marcy hasn't called in a week. I don't think I've stopped crying since Jade left my apartment two weeks ago. I don't get out of bed and I ignore Jade's text messages. I didn't get to explain anything to Marcy, she left without letting me. I didn't even want to.
-Cue Flashback-
I jump at the sound of someone banging on the door. It's still dark in the room and I wonder what time it is.
"Mmmmmm, who is that?" Marcy turns over and faces me. Her eyes aren't even open and she looks like she's still asleep.
"I don't know, I'll be right back." I say and slide out from the blankets. I pad out of the room and down the hallway until I reach the door to my apartment. I unlock it and pull it open. Beck stands in front of me and he looks furious.
"Beck?" I say rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I haven't seen him since the reunion.
"You slept with my wife!" He shouts. I'm wide awake now and it feels like my eyes bug out of my head.
"Beck." I say again this time softer.
"I can't believe you!" He rushes past me into my apartment and I have nothing else to do but close the door. When I reach the living room he is pacing.
"I can't believe you slept with Jade!" He screams. He's drunk and obviously so. He sways with the effort of staying upright. I groan.
"You slept with Jade?" I turn around and standing at the entrance of the hallway, wrapped in my turquoise robe, is Marcy. She clutches the silk fabric to her body and stares at me with wide eyes.
"No, babe, it was way before you and I even met." I say.
"That doesn't excuse you! She's my wife!" Beck snaps and hiccups.
"Shut up Beck!" I scream. "Yes! I let Jade fuck me seven months ago! Yeah, maybe I should have stopped her but I loved her!" I inhale sharply. "I thought I loved her more than you ever could." My voice gets quieter as I talk until it is barely above a whisper.
"Do you still love her?" He asks. I bite my lip and look at Marcy.
"Yes." I meet her eyes. Chocolate brown and brimming with tears. "I'm sorry Marcy." I sigh. Beck starts to laugh bitterly.
"Well, Fuck!" He shouts to my ceiling. "So, what, what are you going to do? Marry her and raise our daughter and live happily ever after!" He snorts. "Good luck with that!" Marcy left the room and I'm fuming as I stare at Beck.
"And where does Tristen fall into all of this? He loves his mother, but does she love him?" He stops sounding so angry and his voice echoes with desperation. "Why can't she love us?" He asks and looks at me with wide brown eyes. I blink silently before exiting the room. I come back with a bottle of Jack Daniels and two tumblers. I pour us each a glass and offer him one. He takes it without thanks. I down my alcohol.
"If it means anything, I didn't mean for it to happen, us falling in love…" I pause, "I don't even know how to feel any other way." I say. He takes the bottle from my table and puts it to his lips. He sucks down a few gulps of Jack and I watch him.
"I don't know if she ever loved me." He swallows. I don't answer him because I don't know the answer.
Beck slides over to me until he bumps my arm with his and our hips are touching. I can smell the alcohol on him. His eyes don't leave mine.
"I hate you." He says before descending onto my lips. He grabs my head and pulls me closer to him. I don't even try to pull back. I don't have the strength. When he backs up he closes his eyes.
"I hate you so much." He stands up and glares down at me.
"Have a nice life Tori." He walks away and I hear the door slam. I drink what little that is left in the glass bottle before heading back to my room.
"Please sleep on the couch." I hear softly from Marcy's dark form under the covers. It sounds like she's crying. I start to reach for her, to comfort her, before I pause. It's better to let it all go at once. I retract my arm and grab a pillow before heading back out into the living room. When I wake up the next morning, she is gone.
-End Flashback-
I need time. I need to get out of here. Maybe I can go to Verona or Ireland or Brazil. There is a knock at my bedroom door and I sit up.
"Who is it?" I ask. The knob turns and when it is pushed open Jade peeks her head through. I fall back on my bed and close my eyes.
"Go away." I tell her.
"No." She says stubbornly. "Don't run away again." She pleads. "Stay here with me." Her voice is cautious.
"Why?" I roll over so that I am facing away from her.
"Because, God dammit!" She snaps, "I love you and I'm tired of you leaving me."
"I feel like I'm suffocating." I sit up again. She's sitting on the edge of my bed on Marcy's side.
"Can we just try?" She asks. I shake my head.
"I don't know what else there is to do but try." I say. A smile spreads over her face.
"Really?"
"Yeah." I say. She crawls over to me and kisses me. My heart thumps in my chest and for the first time in a very long time it feels like love.