Your name is Jane Crocker, and you're wondering what the hell possessed you to agree to this.

You're currently standing in your bedroom, staring at your mirror and assessing how you look. You sigh as you adjust your unruly curls underneath your hat. This was going to be a nightmare.

Your cousin, Jake English, stands beside you, adjusting your shirt and frowning at your appearance. You scowl at him, you face twisting into an expression of displeasure. It's because of the damn prick that you're in this situation in the first place.

Around three months ago, your cousin has begun talking to someone on pesterchum after his sister gave him a random chumhandle. Every day after he got back from work, he would rush to his laptop excitedly; checking to see if his friend had left him a message. You had simply assumed that he had met a new friend. However, as time went on, you realized this was not simply a friendship. You saw the admiration in your cousin's eyes whenever he spoke of this mystery man, whom you have learned goes by the name of Dirk Strider. You saw the way he would rush to his laptop and open pesterchum, often chatting for hours with this man before settling down to work on whatever project he needed to do. You heard him mumble Dirk's name in his sleep, you saw him zone out whenever Dirk's name was mentioned, a goofy smile on his face. He even requested that you bake bright orange cupcakes, Dirk's signature color.

By now, you were completely sure that Jake English was simply head over heels in love with Dirk Strider.

Just a week ago, Dirk had asked Jake to meet him at a local park. Jake was nearly bouncing with excitement, treating it as some type of date. Now, about five hours before the meeting, he was bailing.

Watching a twenty-one year old man flip his shit is very, very amusing.

"I honestly don't see why I need to do this Jake. For goodness sakes, just go talk to him!" you say exasperated. You've been trying to adjust your appearance to look more masculine, but so far, you were failing. Though you have managed to disguise the small but existent curve of your chest, and the way your hips jutted out pleasingly, you have yet to achieve looking truly masculine. Your face was simply too small and sweet, your nose small and pert and your eyes large, framed with luxurious eyelashes.

"Jane, I need you to go meet him because I'm afraid, and I don't want to seem rude," he said, trying to straighten up your hair. A groan escaped his lips when it fell back into place again.

"I give up! Your hair is the most insufferable thing I've ever laid my eyes upon. You know what; go meet him as a girl. I haven't told him my gender yet, so he won't be too surprised when you show up," Jake says to you, his eyebrows furrowing. Poor boy looks like he's about to bite straight through his lip the way he's worrying it. You sigh, taking off the hat and jacket.

"If I'm gonna go, then I might as well go as a girl," you say, grabbing clothes out of your wardrobe. You hear Jake groan behind you.

"Fine. You do remember what I told you, right?"

"Don't make a bad impression, do not blatantly flirt with him, do not crack and tell him the truth, act like you, blah blah blah….." you prattle off as you step into the bathroom.

You quickly change into the light blue sundress and leggings that you picked out. Dirk told Jake to dress casual, so you're willing to assume that you weren't going to end up somewhere fancy. You walk back out, and find Jake sitting on the bed, video-chatting with your older brother John.

"Dude, that was a pretty dick-move you pulled," you hear John say to Jake. Jake simply groans. You walk over and sit next to him, waving at the webcam. You watch John grin the widest bucktooth grin you've ever seen.

"Jane! How's life been treating ya?"

"Alright I guess,"

"Heard that you got a date with Jake's crush this afternoon," he says, frowning slightly.

"He's not my crush!" Jake yells out. "I've simply got a slight bromance thing going,"

You scowl, scrunching up your nose and letting the anger radiate off of you.

"Yeah, well apparently he can't suck it up and go meet the man himself," you say, jabbing your elbow into Jake's side and watching him stumble off the bed in surprise, a mass of flailing limbs. You hear the thump he makes when he hits the ground, and you can't help the smug grin that appears on your face.

John simply chuckles at your antics from across the screen.

"Are you sure this is the right time?" you ask your cousin as you get off his Jeep. He agreed to give you a ride to the park, dressing up in his signature white skull shirt and green hoodie. You had no idea how he could stand that hoodie, given that it was like 70 fucking degrees outside. He managed to get you into a green strappy shirt and shorts, arguing that Dirk would better believe that you were him if you wore his favorite color, though you really believe that Jake did it simply to expose your legs. He knew that your legs were a point of major irritation to you, yet he managed to always find a way to worm you into leg exposing clothing.

"Janey, I'm sure this is the right time and place. Just go look for the chap with the pointy shades, and don't make me seem like a scum sucking douche,"

"Hard not to when you are one," you grumble under your breath.

"I heard that!" he yells as he rides off down the street, out of sight. You sigh and walk towards the playground, tugging at your shirt and making sure your phone is securely in your pocket. You tuck one of your loose locks of hair behind your ear, and begin looking around for Jake's mystery man.

There are many people at the park at this time of day. Children's laughter echoes over from the play structure, filling your ears with their high-pitched happy melodies. Teenagers glide around on skateboards and rollerblades, racing each other and leaving havoc in their wake. Parents walk around with their toddlers and babes in strollers. Friends are sitting down in the grass, talking amiably and laughing over their homemade picnics. Couples walk around, holding hands and laughing, and some even….making out. You grimace slightly, wondering if Dirk Strider was the type of man that advanced on someone on the first date. You certainly hoped not. You would not tolerate any of that horseshit. You had a no horseshit policy. Yes, you Jane Crocker were completely horseshit free.

You walk around for a while, vainly searching for a man with triangular shades who looked around your age. A few men seem to be around the right age, though none of them have the recognizable eyewear. You give up after a while, and make a beeline for the nearest unoccupied park bench. Perhaps he was late. Yes, that must be it. He was simply late.

Yet, there was a niggling suspicion at the back of your mind that made you wonder if he had possibly cancelled.

You sigh, and lean back in the bench, closing your eyes. It was wonderfully warm, with slight breezy undercurrents; the epitome of a perfect summer day.

You stay like that awhile, until you hear a slight creak coming from the other side of the bench. You open your eyes to find a man who looks around your age sitting there. He looks well built, lean and tall. You let your eyes venture up to his face and…

Oh.

There, sitting on his face, are a pair of perfectly triangular shades. You can see his corn silk colored eyelashes fluttering from the side of his face. The man turns to you, one eyebrow cocked up quizzically.

"May I help you?" he asked, his face calm and serene. You suck in a small breath before answering, marveling at his angular jaw, the way his hair seemed to stick out in just the right way. He was handsome alright, and it was doing funny things to your stomach.

"Why yes, actually. Would you happen to be Mr. Dirk Strider?"

"The one and only," he says, one side of his mouth quirking up imperceptibly.

"Well, then you're exactly the person I was supposed to meet," you say, gauging his reaction. His eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm sorry, but you must be mistaken. I'm here to meet a guy named Jake English," he says, glancing at you. You grin slightly, keeping your voice even and controlling the emotions that flash across your face.

"The one and only," you say, mirroring his earlier words. You can see his eyebrows rise up above his glasses. He takes in your appearance, travelling down from your face to your….ah….feminine features. His eyes linger a moment too long on your long, slender, tan legs before darting back up to your face again. You feel yourself flush and squirm in your seat. Why must it be the legs?

"Scuse' me for saying this, but your parents must've had a pretty fucked up taste in names if they named someone as lovely as you after a guy," he says, an almost invisible hint of southern drawl creeping in. You blush even redder at his words. You find something about that voice to be oddly attractive, paired around with that perfect cupid's bow of a mouth. You wondered how soft his lips were, how his mouth would feel against yours…

"Stop Jane!" You think to yourself, chastising your traitorous mind. You promised yourself that you would never date again after that incident with Gamzee Makara where you ended up coming home after the date shitfaced drunk with paint smeared all over and no recollection of the night. You set your resolve straight, willing yourself to forbid any feeling of attraction for this man.

"Yeah, my parents were pretty strange. They gave my older brother a normal name, but for some reason, when it came to me, I guess they were simply experimenting with names," you say, laughing nervously. He simply shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

"Well Jake, it's nice to meet you in person, although you're nothing like how I thought you'd be," he says, holding his hand out. You reach out to give it a shake, finding it pleasantly large and warm. You release his hand, and he moves to get up, holding out a hand to help you do the same. You frown slightly, wondering exactly what he has planned.

"Okay then, let's get going. Daylight's burnin," he says, walking towards the parking lot. You follow after him.

"Um, Dirk, where exactly are we going? I would love to know beforehand if you don't mind. I'm sorry, but I don't take well to first dates taking me places without my knowing,"

"We're going zip-lining. There's a nice place about an hour and a half from here that has an excellent zip-lining course," he says, leading you over to a very impressive looking motorcycle. It's sleek and black, with orange and red flame highlights that are slightly cliché, but still, totally cool. He hops onto it looking back at you expectantly, gesturing for you to get on. You freeze at the thought of sitting on a bike with him, flush against his back.

"What the hell?!" you think to yourself, "This is only the first date, and a fake date unbeknownst to him. Does he really expect me to hop on a bike with him? Can I trust him?"

You hop on the bike anyway, sitting on the far end, as far away from him as possible. He looks back and shrugs, before slipping a helmet over his head. He revs up the engine, and twists the accelerator slightly causing the bike to jolt forward. A horrible rushing sensation goes through your gut, causing you to slip forward on the seat and wrap your arms around his waist with a squeak of fear. He chuckles.

"There's no reason to be afraid of me Jake. I don't bite. Trust me bro, with your immense love of adventure and whatnot, you're gonna love the place where we're headin',"

You manage a small squeaky "okay" in response, which seems to satisfy him. He gives a small smile before turning around and driving out of the parking lot.

The wind whips in your face as the two of you drive along, and you gotta say, it did wonders to calm your nerves. You marveled at how muscular he seemed, how taut his shoulders and torso were even with his lean stature.

He remained silent for most of the ride, occasionally picking up and asking you a question about yourself, or the scenery around you guys. You answered with a smile, never once feeling as if his questions were intrusive or violating.

Eventually, you feel your head begin to droop from exhaustion. You lie you head down on his back, right below his neck. Your eyelids flutter as you take in your surroundings, watching the highway fly by.

Eventually, warmed by the body in front of you and cooled by the wind, you fall into a peaceful slumber.

Your name is Dirk Strider and there is no way in hell you could have predicted your day would turn out like this.

At the present, you were speeding along down the highway, wind blowing in your face and a very warm and drowsy Jake English clutching onto you from behind. Her arms looped around your waist, and the feeling of her warm hand so close to your abs is doing strange things to your mind.

"God fucking hormones," you think to yourself as you realize that you're slightly attracted to this small wisp of a girl. She was tiny compared to you, reaching only up to your nose, with a lean and slender stature and bombshell legs. She was gorgeous physically, but that wasn't what drew you to this girl. It was the way she talked, slightly intellectual and slightly shy. It's been years since you've met an attractive girl that didn't date you based on looks.

You shake your head to clear the fuzziness that's accumulated there. Something about her seemed…off. No parent, no matter how eccentric, would call their gorgeous daughter such a masculine name. You remember the way she paused slightly when you said her name, as if she was unfamiliar with being addressed that way.

Perhaps she had simply used a male name online to prevent anyone from finding out her true identity. You knew many people who did that, quite paranoid that someone may steal their identity, or find out where they live or who they are in real life.

But then why didn't she tell you so when she met you? Perhaps she was genderfluid, and wasn't quite comfortable with her own gender. Perhaps she didn't trust you enough. Perhaps that was her real name, and you're being paranoid.

Still, you weren't quite expecting to meet up with anyone of the female gender today, or anyone quite so….petite and wispy. You wonder what would have happened if she was truly a guy. You shrug to yourself, coming to the conclusion that it wouldn't really be too different. You would still be attracted to her. Thank the gods that you were bisexual.

Other than that, you were really hoping not to screw this day up. You haven't dated since the blind dating event back in Texas. It was organized, the goal in mind to allow more young people to meet each other, to form relationships. Ironically, that incident was what convinced you that you were never going to date again.

You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket, the recognizable beep of pesterchum reaching your ears. You spot a rest stop on the next exit, and quickly veer your motorcycle. Eh, might as well take a break.

You park the bike and find Jake still slumbering, clamped to your back. You take care not to wake her, and check your messages. Your eyebrows furrow as you see who's pestering you.

Jake English.

What the ever-loving fuck?

You look back at Jake, who's still dozing on your spine. Her phone is tucked securely in her pocket, and you feel a blanket of confusion fall over you.

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 4:28 PM

GT: Strider

GT: are you there strider?

GT: strider I have something very important to tell you

GT: *nervously clears throat*

GT: Strider, don't think anything less of me, but

GT: the person you met at the park isn't me. That is in fact, my dear cousin Jane.

GT: I sent her to our date in my place.

GT: I am terribly sorry strider. I truly did not mean to ditch you like that. I was simply afraid

GT: I was afraid of what you would think of me, and frankly, bogged down with a case of the vapors

GT: strider?

GT: I know you're online

TT: Yeah yeah, I'm here.

TT: What the everlovin fuck bro?

TT: Why couldn't you tell me this sooner?

GT: yeah well I was afraid okay *gulps nervously*

TT: Doesn't matter now. At the present, your cousin is snoozing on my back while we're riding our motorcycle towards the previous engagement I had originally planned.

TT: For the two of us.

TT: And we're going to have a damn good time there without you, Dicks McGee. Your own loss for ditching.

GT: no strider wait I can explain

timaeusTestified [TT] has logged off at 4:37PM

You place your phone back into your pocket, one part frustrated, one part angry, one part sad, and yet one part elated.

His cousin? The motherfucker sent his cousin to take his place on a date? That was fucked up past comprehension. If English thinks that you'll forgive him for this, he's got another thing coming.

You glance at the sleeping girl oh your back, craning your neck, and instantly, something in your stomach flutters and your throat seizes up.

She looks so fucking serene in her sleep, her large eyes closed behind her glasses, her light brown tanned skin glowing in the light, her mouth open in a tiny "O" shape, her little button nose twitching like some type of rabbit. It was fucking adorable.

You were determined to take her on the best date she has ever been on. She only deserves that much for putting up with that dick and coming to this thing in the first place. Hell, maybe you can even make her fall for you. You look at her tiny mouth, her lips soft and full, and you feel your breath quicken slightly. You shake your head, pushing away the not so appropriate thoughts striding through your head.

You school your thoughts once more, revving up the engine. Goddamit, you were acting like a fucking school girl on her first date. You needed to get your emotions under control, before you become a disgrace to the name of Strider.

Your name is Jane Crocker, and you feel someone poking you in the face.

"Goddamit Jake let me sleep," you mumble, squeezing your pillow tighter. You hear an outtake of breath and a small "oomph" sound. You frown at how hard your pillow seems.

Wait a second. Your pillow didn't smell like men's cologne and oranges.

Your eyes snap open, and you jolt back slightly. Something grabs your shoulder's, steadying you.

"Jesus Christ Jane, you're jumpy as hell," Dirk says, chuckling slightly. He's reaching backwards, making sure you don't fall off the motorcycle you are currently perched on.

"Oh I'm sor-" you cut off as the realization of what he said strikes you. Something cold settles in the pit of your stomach and the only thing echoing through your head is "he found out he found out oh my god what am I going to do Jake is going to be so pissed I can't do this to him!"

Dirk must notice your expression. You can see his eyebrows droop a bit, and he sighs, rubbing his fingers on his temples.

"Jake pestered me just now. He told me everything,"

You simply stand there, unable to enunciate a single word. Your cover was blown, by none other than the man who sent you out on this mission himself. You were going to have a serious talk with Jake later on. A long talk, with many hard to pronounce words and obsceneties.

"Doesn't mean he can stop us from having fun. You seem like a rad girl Jane. A date with you would be better than any date with him,"

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding. Thank god he wasn't angry at you. You don't know what you'd do if he was.

"But, Dirk, aren't you angry?" you ask him, gauging his reaction. He lets out a little puff of breath, and shakes his head.

"Nah, not angry, just frustrated. Can't believe your dick of a cousin would pull a stunt like that,"

You smile slightly, gazing at him for a moment before dropping your eyes down to your shoes. "Yeah, he can be quite a jerk sometimes."

"C'mon Jane, let's go. Time's a ticking," Dirk says, grabbing your hand and racing down the concrete path. You follow him, until you two come upon a large clean wooden building. It was the size of a supermarket, with a log cabin look and a rustic feel. You feel at ease almost immedeatly.

You and Dirk saunter up to the desk, where a young man is standing, a few years older than yourself, checking something on his laptop. He looks up at Dirk, lowering his shades slightly so that you have clear view of his amazingly red pupils. You suck in a small gasp.

"Sup' Lil' Bro," the man says, ruffling Dirk's hair slightly and causing the younger man to scowl.

"Goddamit Dave, lay off the hair. I'm here on a date,"

The older man, whom Dirk called Dave, looks at you as if noticing you for the first time. A little smirk appears on his face as he looks down at your legs, letting out a low appreciative whistle. You blush in embarrassment. "Why does it always have to be the legs?"

"Shit lil' bro, you could've given me a call ahead of time. Specially' when you're bringing a girl with you," he says, grinning at you. Dirk shoves his shoulder.

"I really don't know how Jade deals with you flirting all the time," he says to his brother, heading over behind to desk to pick something up. Dave chuckles.

"Oh, she knows that no matter how much I flirt, she'll always be my gal. All the other girls got nothin' on Harley, that's for sure,"

You freeze as you hear the last name. Harley. Your eyes widen as you turn to Dave.

"Does this Jade Harley have dark black hair, tanned skin, slight buckteeth and round glasses?" you ask him, biting your lip slightly. Dave nods.

"Yeah, she does. She actually looks a lot like you, just with longer hair. Why, you know her?"

"I…uh…uhm…she's my cousin," you stutter out, a bit flustered by Dave's intense stare. "So you're the tall blonde muscular dude she can't stop talking about," you say. You watch Dave's eyebrow's furrow as he looks you up and down once more. His mouth squinches slightly.

"You look kind of familiar," he says, cocking his head sideways. A few seconds pass, and you watch his eyebrows raise comically.

"Holy shit…you wouldn't happen to be John Egbert's lil' sis, would you?"

"Yep," you reply, not sure where this was going. He turns to Dirk.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me you were dating my best bro's sister?" he asks, grinning. Dirk simply shrugs, hauling up the equipment. You choose not to comment, too damn confused about the older Strider, and why you haven't ever heard of him before.

Your name is Dirk Strider, and it's taking all your self-control not to laugh right now.

Jane is currently standing on the edge of the platform, peering over the edge nervously whilst holding onto the rails. It's not too much of a drop, and the forest floor isn't quite as jarring as it could be, but nevertheless, she looks mortified, and it's just so damn cute that you feel your Strider swag cracking bit by bit, bringing the goofiest shit-eating grin to your face.

Your bro is currently buckling up another customer, educating him about the safety tips and the dangers of ziplining. You snicker slightly as the man obediently nods, a look of slight fear entering his eyes.

You turn back to Jane, putting a hand on her shoulder. She flinches before looking back at you.

"Dirk, are you sure this is such a good idea?" she asks you. You smirk.

"Trust me Jane; I've done this plenty of times. Just hold onto me, I won't let you fall," you say, cocking your eyebrow slightly. She blushes a little and nods her head, her short curls bobbing up and down and her large doe eyes relaxing slightly. "Jesus fucking Christ that is so sugoi," you think to yourself, internally squealing quite a bit.

Your brother clips the first zip line cord to his harness, securing it tightly before giving you the thumbs up. He grabs onto the rope and sets off, lighting through the forest on the thick cord. The customer dude goes next, a bit more apprehensive. You hear his strangled yell as he speeds down the line. You turn to Jane, who is quivering slightly at this point.

You take the dual cord, meant for carrying two people at once. It has a forked end, which branches off into two different cords, each with a maximum strength fastening clip on the end. You clip one to your harness, and one to Jane's. You wrap an arm loosly around her waist, telling her to hold onto you. She complies by loosely wrapping her arms around your bicep.

Taking a deep breath and holding her tight, you jump off the platform, bouncing slightly before speeding off down the rope. You can hear Jane screaming to your side, her hands pawing at your shirt, trying to get a better hold on you. You lift her slightly so that she's basically sitting on your lap, and hold her tighter against you. She wraps her arms around your neck and wraps her legs around your waist, hanging on for dear life like a fucking sloth.

You laugh loudly as the wind whips through your hair, making Jane tighten her grip around you. Adrenaline and hormones are making you stupidly happy, cracking your façade completely. She's got her eyes open now, filled with fear.

"Dirk! Why'd you drag me into this!" she screams as you hit another bump in the line. She squeezes you tighter, her eyes wide and panicked as she looks at the forest floor rushing by twenty-four feet below you. You loop your free arm around her waist tighter.

"Nothing to worry about Jane. I got you. Trust me; I won't let anything happen to you," you say to her, lowering your voice soothingly. Her eyes seem bluer without her glasses, and you realize, you took yours off too, leaving your freakishly orange eyes exposed to her view.

"Dirk, you have really strange eyes," she says. You wince inwardly.

"Yeah, I've been told that. The word 'freak' followed me around a lot while I was little,"

"I like them. I think they're quite beautiful," she says earnestly, a bit breathy from fear.. You simply stare at her, slightly incredulous and speechless. Nobody outside of your family has ever complemented your eyes before. Before you can reply, the line jolts again, and you see the next platform coming up ahead. Two figures are standing there, waiting for you two.

Your feet hit the platform and you dig them down, forcing you and Jane into a jolting stop. She's still holding onto you like a Koala, looking at you. You stare into her blue eyes, mesmerized by the way they almost seemed to glow. Your brother clearing his throat breaks you out of your reverie, and you gently deposit Jane back on the floor once more. She blushes slightly, mumbling a quick 'thank you'. You turn back to your brother, who's grinning like a madman.

"Who's up for the other lines?"

Your name is Jane Crocker and you haven't had this much fun in years.

You're walking back to Dirk's motorcycle, laughing and giggling while he tells you stories of his childhood. He's telling you a particularly animated one about the time he kicked Dave in the crotch on accident when you trip over a twig on the concrete path, your clumsy feet losing their purchase before you can right yourself. The ground rushes up to meet you, and just as you are about to make impact, you feel strong arms grabbing you, lifting you slightly. You've rotated so that you're facing upward, looking into a pair of gorgeous tangerine orange eyes. Dirk stares down at you, his eyebrows creased in panic. You blush when you realize that he's basically French dipping you.

His orange eyes bore into you, doing funny things to your head and making your heart leap. His face is getting closer and closer, and you realize what he is about to do. You make no move to stop it though, until he's about an inch away from your face, orange eyes meeting blue. He stops, his forehead pressed to yours.

"Jane," he mumbles, his voice suddenly deeper and huskier. "Do you mind if I kiss you?"

You make a noise of impatience in your throat, and swoop upward, meeting his lips with yours. They're warm and chapped slightly, giving them a rough and smooth texture at the same time. He kisses you back with fervor, biting your lip slightly. You're standing up straight now and he's bending down slightly, reaching your height. You lick his lips, enjoying the taste of cinnamon that lingered on him. He meets your tongue with his own, and you moan, deepening the kiss. Your fingers loop around his neck, tangling in his soft hair. His hands are around your waist, rubbing circles with his thumbs across the bit of flesh exposed at your midriff. Something deep inside you ignites, sending a warm heat through your entire being.

"Jesus Christ, I leave you two alone for ten minutes and ironically, those are the ten minutes you use to force your tongues down eachother's throats."

You jump as you see Dave standing behind Dirk, a self-proclaimed smirk on his face. Your face turns bright-bright red, and oh, do you feel embarrassed. Dirk simply scowls, muttering 'bloody cockblocker' underneath his breath.

The three of you walk back to the parking lot, you and Dirk hand in hand, and Dave with his hoodie slung over his shoulder. He reaches his car and mumbles something to Dirk, along the lines of 'fix your pants'.

Dirk turns bright red, his pokerface never fading, and walks back to you, hopping onto the bike. You hop on behind him, and loop your arms around his waist, and you hear him sigh pleasurably, his body slouching and relaxing.

"Jane. Jane, get up, we're home,"

You hear Dirk's baritone voice echoing in your ears as you float back into consciousness. You groan slightly, then straighten up, opening your eyes. You're parked outside your house. Lights were on inside and you could hear music thumping. "Dear god Jake, what the hell are you doing?"

You hop off the bike, wincing a little as your shin brushes across the hot exhaust pipe. Your shorts have ridden up a bit, so you tug on them slightly. You turn back to Dirk, who has a small smile on his face.

"So…I guess this is where the ironically cool dude drops off the spanking hot babe and gives her a kiss before riding away," he says, getting off of his bike. You grin, your heart fluttering, and meet his lips with yours. The kiss is beautiful, brilliant, amazing, and sweet all at the same time. You pull away slowly, looking straight into his entrancing eyes once more. You feel yourself falling for this amazing man, falling fast, far, deep.

"We should….do this again sometime," he says, his eyes slightly unfocused. You grin.

"Why Mr. Strider, are you asking me out on a date?"

He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, and mumbles a quick "I guess I am," before asking for your chumHandle. You give it to him without hesitation, and he wraps you in a huge bear hug.

"See you later Jane," he mumbles into your hair. He bends down further, giving you a small peck on the tip of your nose before walking back to his bike, leaping on, and driving away. You stand there at your front door for a few moments, grinning like a madman.

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you think you're unironically falling for someone.

You walk up to the apartment you and your brother share, climbing up the fucking twenty or so floors it takes to reach the top floor. You enter your apartment, throw your shit down on the chair, and flop into the sofa, sighing. You take off your glasses and close your eyes.

"Damn lil' man, you look like a fucking high school girl on her first date. She really that much of a stunner?"

"You better fuckin believe it," you reply, grinning. You and Dave end up sharing a simple dinner, during which he teases you relentlessly. Body weary and soul alight, you trudge to your room.

Your dreams are full of Jane Crocker, and you fail to remember who you were supposed to go on a date with in the first place.

Your name is Jane Crocker, and you're surprised as hell.

You walk into your house, making a beeline toward the living room where the god-awful music is emanating from. You stop short when you see the scene there.

Your cousin Jake and your best friend Roxy Lalonde are sprawled out on the couch in nothing but their underclothes, dead drunk and asleep. They're tangled with each other, no discernible start or end to the limbs, just the distinction of skin tones. Roxy's drooling all over Jake's chest, and Jake is snoring loud enough to wake the neighbors.

You hear the door click once more as Jade enters the house, back a few minutes after you. She enters the living room and lets out a low whistle.

"Daangg," she says, putting her messenger bag on the table and noticing Roxy's frilly bra and Jake's state of undress, "you think they fricked?"

You sigh, shaking your head, and walk into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. You freeze as you hear heavy footsteps echoing through the hallway, footsteps that were too heavy to belong to Jade, footsteps that were slightly familiar. You turn, and see none other than your older brother standing in the doorway, wearing his blue shirt with a breeze insignia and jeans.

"John!" you squeal his name as you launch yourself at him, knocking him down. He chuckles as you hug him tight. He nearly squashes you with his enormous man grit.

"Missed you too, my little Crockpot," he says, grinning widely.

Your name is Jane Crocker, and you think that this may just rank within your top ten list of greatest days ever.

So there's the first chapter of my new DirkJane fic. You can find my art and fanfiction blog at .com

I'll be posting updates on this fic, as well as Questions and answers, and sneak peeks at upcoming chapters. There will also be the occasional art drawn by me.

This story is also on AO3 under the same name.

I'll post up the next chapter as soon as I can.

Please REVIEW and tell me what you think of this story so far.

~Reaper