Lizzie thought and thought, but she could never think of a way to express her feelings in a way that wouldn't be confusing, although, honestly, she couldn't even explain them to herself. She wanted everyone to know how she felt. She knew exactly how, and she felt inside that it would be wonderful for everyone to know. But she just couldn't pluck up the courage to do so, and that was just the problem.

Lizzie has cried before, she cries a lot, to be honest with herself. But there isn't one matter that she could think of that she had cried over more than the one she was dealing with right now. She knew how she felt, and she knew it was wrong. So very, very wrong. But she couldn't help it, and that didn't solve her inner turmoil any.

She wanted to be rid of these feelings, but they just wouldn't go, wouldn't fade at all...

She messed up badly by not eliminating these feelings when they first appeared, but she just ignored them, what a naïve little girl...

She wanted more than Ciel, more than him, nicer than him, someone even more perfect than her already perfect fiancee.
She's lied, oh has she lied, so many times. And there are so many things she regrets, the regrets will never fade, oh no. Not ever.

Lizzie was broken, her heart hurt, her head ached, and she never even knew if she was crying or not anymore. She has grown up, she isn't a whiny little girl, she's oh so good with her sword, too good, she doesn't want to be able to wield this sword. But she can, and though she hates it, she's even a bit proud of herself. She will never be called an annoying, prissy little girl, not anymore. No one will be able to call her the little dopey, cutesy, Lady Elizabeth if they know. If they know anything about her.

She's gone so far, grown up so much. She's never home anymore, not ever. She wants to be - she longs for it so much, so very much. She's scarred herself - emotionally, of course - and she can't stop. She's slowly killing herself with these feelings, dwelling upon them, drowning in her sorrows and ripping her heart to pieces. And she will tell no one of this.

She hates being alone. It kills her. But she can't change it - she mustn't. When she was alone she was a lot better off than when she was anywhere else. Like at Ciel's home. It just tears her apart inside to be around him and Sebastian, but no one knows, no one will know, and no one suspects anything. So far in this, she was doing terribly. On the inside. On the outside, she was the perfect little angel, the perfect fiancee, so loving, so caring, so protective, so cute. No one would ever guess that though she loves Ciel, she loves him nowhere near as much as his butler, Sebastian.

Oh, yes, Elizabeth Midford was so very in love. In love with no other than Sebastian Michaelis, of course.