Summary: When their ranks are found lacking,Aditi and Robert enlist the troops.
Characters: Robert and Aditi Fowler-Cooper, and some other kids.
Word Count: 1711

Aditi was glad the meeting was officially starting. Planning a party was a lot of work, and at some point, she and Robert had realized that they would need help. More importantly, however, they would need the help of people they could trust. That's why they decided to meet here.

"Can you see, Robert?" she asked, propping the small-screened device on the ground of the cobble-stoned patio against a mound of rocks that she and the other boys had gathered from the back yard.

"Affirmative," he answered.

She gave him a thumbs up.

"What's 'affirmative' mean?" Lenny asked. He was six years old and, as far as Aditi could tell, he didn't know anything. Since they were in his backyard, though, they had to let him come.

"It means yes," Aditi said. "If you want to say no, you have to say 'negative.'"

"Why can't I just say 'no?'?" Lenny asked. No matter what he said, it had a whiny cadence to it. Also, he was usually sucking on a lollipop, which made his lips an ever-changing array of colors. Today, they were orange.

"Because this is a secret club meeting," Aditi explained. "You can't say 'yes' or 'no' in a secret club meeting. It's not fancy enough."

"Duh," Joel Wolowitz muttered. He was working on a cherry Popsicle.

"Don't say 'duh,'" Adam, the other Wolowitz boy, commanded his brother. "You didn't know until I told you."

"Nuh uh," Joel said, outraged. "I'm the one that told you!"

"No you weren't!" Adam screamed.

"Yes I was!" Joel yelled back.

"No you weren't!"

"Yes I was!"

"No you weren't!"

"Yes I was!"

"GUYS!" Robert hollered. Everyone turned their attention to the little screen. "We aren't meeting here to squabble and fight. We're here to work. So everybody sit down and shut up!" The assembled group all sat down—cross-legged—and crowded around Robert's digital doppelganger.

Lenny pulled the sucker from him mouth. "What does 'squabble' mean?" he asked.

Aditi sighed. "It means argue."

"Duh," Joel whispered. Adam shot him a look of aggravation. "What?" Joel asked.

Moving on, Robert cleared his throat loudly and began to speak. "Ye are gathered here today to commence with the proceedings of the ad hoc anniversary planning committee heretofore referred to as Operation Lady and the Tramp," he said. "Aditi Fowler-Cooper will be leading us in roll call. When your name is called, say 'Aye.'"

"What does 'aye' mean?" Lenny asked.

"God, Lenny!" Aditi said. "It means yes."

"But, but, but," he stammered, "I thought 'affirmative' meant yes."

"'Aye' means yes, too."

"Then why can't we say 'aye' all the time?"

"Because we can't." She lifted a piece of paper and began to call the first name. "Jo—"

"When you say my name, I'm going to say affirmative," Lenny said with mischievous glee.

"You can't say affirmative," Aditi said, truly annoyed. "You have to say aye."

"I can if it I want to," Lenny replied, and that whiny cadence took on a taunting edge.

"No you can't," Aditi insisted, "and stop asking so many questions."

"I can do whatever I want," Lenny said. "This is my house."

"This isn't your house," Aditi said. "It's Uncle Leonard's and Aunt Penny's house."

"It's my house, too," he said.

"You still have to play by the rules."

Lenny looked at her, his forehead tilted forward, his bottom lip poked out and the lollipop stick dangling from his mouth like a forsaken cigarette.

"I can do whatever I want!" he yelled.

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

Aditi pursed her lips and bobbed her head from one side to the other. "Well, if you don't play by the rules than you can't play at all."

Lenny didn't like this news one bit. "You're mean!" he yelled.

"No I'm not," Aditi said.

"Yes you are," he said and stood up. "I'm telling." He marched off.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Robert called after him, but Lenny stormed on, disappearing behind the sliding glass doors. There was a protracted moment of silence once he was gone. "Now we're going to get in trouble," Robert finally said.

"You're already in trouble," Aditi reminded him. "You're grounded. That's why we have to talk to you on video."

"Who cares if he's gone," Joel said, and slurped the last of his Popsicle. "Now we can get some business done."

"Fine," Aditi said, not totally calmed, but hoping he was right. She lifted the paper in the most official way she could muster and began to read. "Joel Wolowitz."

"Aye."

"Adam Wolowitz."

"Aye."

"Robert Fowler-Cooper."

"Aye."

"Aditi Fowler-Cooper." She paused with a formal air. "Ay."

"Fine," Robert said. "Now, first order of business: brainstorming. I was thinking—"

"What about Lenny?" Adam asked.

"What about him?" Robert replied.

"Aditi didn't call his name."

"But he's not here," Joel said, bent over and carving into his Popsicle stick with a rock. "Duh."

"Yeah, but she should still have called his name," Adam explained. "That's only fair."

All heads turned to Robert, their de factor leader, as he considered the matter for a moment. "Makes sense," he said. He turned to his sister. "DeeDee, please start the roll call over again."

"Okay," she said. Lifting the paper once more, she began again. "Joel Wolowitz."

"Aye."

"Adam Wolowitz."

"Aye."

"Robert Fowler-Cooper."

"Aye."

"Aditi Fowler-Cooper. Ay." She took a breath. "Leonard Hofstadter, Jr."

As predicted, there was no response.

Aditi tried again. "Leonard Hofstadter, Jr."

Adam squeaked an answer out of the side of his mouth. "Negative," he peeped.

"The opposite of 'aye' is 'nay," Joel said. "Duh."

"I already knew that," Adam shot back. "I just wanted to know if you knew."

"Uh uh," Joel said. "You didn't' know."

"Yes I did," Adam shouted.

"No you didn't!"

"Yes, I did."

"No you didn't!"

"Yes, I did."

"No you didn't!"

"Yes, I did."

"GUYS!" Robert yelled. "We need to—"

Just then, all heads turned at the dull sound of the double glass sliding door gliding open one again. Aditi practically cowered in panic. Unlike her parents, who held protracted trials to determine which of the playmates were the guilty party and/or parties, Penny's idea of conflict resolution was to demand that everyone get along or go home.

The sound stopped and Lenny walked out by himself. He was wiping tears from his eyes and sucking on a different lollipop. This one was blue. He pulled the doors closed, shuffled over to where he had been seated previously, and plopped to the ground, his shoulders drooping.

"Are we in trouble?" Aditi asked.

"No," Lenny said. "Mom told me not to be a tattletale and that if I came in the house one more time I had to stay in."

No one said anything, but collective relief settled on the crowd.

"Now," Robert said, resuming, "without further ado let's begin with a brainstorming session. Who has some ideas as far as a theme?"

At long last, Aditi would get to share her thoughts. She knew it was wrong to brag, but she had tons of good ideas about decorations (streamers and balloons and a piñata) and food (hamburgers, and cupcakes and spaghetti with hotdogs cut up in it) and the guest list (both grandmas, and Aunt Missy and that lady at the bank that gives them free suckers) and what colors everyone should wear (purple and yellow polka dots). She had left the list at home in her bedroom, but it didn't matter—she had it all memorized in her brain.

"I was thinking about a theme with fireworks," she said. "We could get the pretty conf—"

"I didn't get to say 'aye,'" Lenny whined. This time, his whining was accompanied by little gasps that followed a bout of crying.

"What?" Robert asked.

"I didn't get to say 'aye,'" he repeated.

"We already did roll call," Robert explained. "You weren't here. So anyway, DeeDee, you were saying that—"

"But I wanted to say 'aye.'"

"Fine," Robert said with a sigh. "DeeDee, start roll call again."

"Again!" Now she was whining. "But why?"

"Because Lenny didn't get to say 'aye.'"

"But he wasn't here," she groaned. Her patience had worn thin and she was utterly frustrated. She crossed her arms. "This isn't fun anymore," she said. "I have so many great ideas but I can't say any of them because we keep doing the roll call over and over and over and over again."

Robert shifted his eyes. "Can I talk to you a second, DeeDee?" he said. "In private?"

She sighed, then lifted the small-screened device and took several paces out into the yard. Now that she wasn't in the shade, she realized how hot it was.

"I know Lenny gets on your nerves sometimes."

"Sometimes!" she repeated.

"But you have to understand strategy," he said.

This was a new thought for her. "What strategy?"

"Stealth is of utmost importance with this operation, and we need to meet here or this entire endeavor could turn into a huge fiasco."

"Don't I know it," Aditi said. She shuddered as she thought back to the time their mom had almost found their secret budget Venn diagram. It had been a very close call.

"Okay," Robert said. "So, I'm asking you to do this for Mom and Dad. Just do the roll call one more time."

She thought about the big smile that would be on her parents' faces as they walked through the door, streamers and candy and grownup stuff everywhere. Calling the roll for a third time was a small price to pay for a big party that would make them so happy.

"Fine," she said. "I'll do it. For Mommy and Daddy."

"Great," Robert said. "Let's go back."

"Were you talking about me?" Joel asked, scowling, upon her return.

"No," Aditi said as she lowered herself to the ground.

"Toldja," Adam said.

Aditi placed "Robert" back on the pile of rocks.

"After some deliberation—"

"Discussion," Aditi clarified before Lenny even had a chance to ask.

"—DeeDee and I decided that we will call the roll for a third and last time before proceeding directly to more urgent matters."

Everyone nodded, sucked and carved.

"DeeDee?"

Smiling once again, she cleared her throat, lifted the paper and began to read.

END NOTE: Thanks for reading, and if you enjoyed it (or didn't) I'd love to hear from you. Thank you Lio for the continued awesomeness.