Hi everyone and welcome to my newest fanfiction story. Now for those of you who are fimilar with my work and are wondering, No I haven't abandoned my other story Saving Ben, its just on hiatus for a while, so don't give up hope just yet.

Now for this story, it is a Sam X Optimus fic, it will contain male x male(mech, which is pretty much the same thing) and human/mech/holo-form Sex. It will also contain torture/angst/hurt/comfort, probably even rape/non-con, maybe even MPreg and who knows what else, so expect anything, lol if you've read my other work(s) you know I don't go easy on my characters, but no worries that's what Optimus is for to save our poor tortured Sam, hehe. I should also tell you that I have not seen dark of the moon and I have no intention of ever watching it since they killed Ironhide, that just sucks, I love Ironhide, so this is set before as for Mikaela and Sams break up, I did a lot of online research and decided to sorta use the idea from one of the transformers comics, that Sam breaks up with her because she changes and because he wants someone to love him for just him, though I did change it quite a bit that is still how I got the idea, just in case anybody is wondering and as for the rest of the story well, I'm just going to make things how I want them so some things may change a little (or a lot depending on my mood), like I said expect anything, hehe.

And one more thing to note, I know most of you like long chapters, but that's not always going to be possible, some chapters may be short, so I apologize in advance.

Okay, now then on to the warnings:

Pair: Optimus x Sam

Disclaimer: I don't own any non-OC characters, I wish I did, then Optimus x Sam would be canon, not fanon.

Rated M for violence, sex scene's, possible sensitive subject matter such as rape/non-con and torture. This is a slash/yaoi fic which means male/male relationships. If you don't like any of these subjects please don't read and don't flame.

Chapter 1

The pair sat in silence as they made there way down the seemingly never ending roads. The trip to the Autobot base from Sam's college was a couple hours long. Bee's holoform sat in the drivers seat, under the pretense of driving himself while Sam sat in the passenger side, his head resting on his hand. He stared out the window deep in thought, the sun glaring down on him all too brightly making his already pounding head, hurt that much worse. The holoform was shooting worried glances over to his charge every few moments, unsure what to do or say to his friend. The short time since returning from his ordeal in Egypt had been incredibly rough for Sam. It started off with a sudden change in Mikaela's attitude, leaving Sam with no choice but to break it off with her and to his surprise he wasn't nearly as upset about it as he thought he would be, all in all it was in everyone best interests, especially since he had developed feelings for another. He wanted someone who could and would love everything about him, which was going to be a hard task given that his life was very unusual and not one that many people could understand. Normal was not something he was ever going to have, he was sure of that, but he was okay with that now, what is normal really, normal is relative, it really doesn't exist, it's just a term people use to belittle and judge those who don't fit into their narrow minded views and even though his friends were not what most people would call normal, they were his family, one that he had come to love very much and he wouldn't give them up for anyone. But there break up was the least of his worries, there was something very wrong with his body. Exhaustion, splitting headaches, nausea, dizziness, sudden tremors, horrible pains throughout his whole body. He tried to brush his symptoms off as mere stress or remnants of his recent injuries and thought they would dissipate soon, not wanting to face the reality that they were getting worse and not better.

His next challenge was college, even though he had returned, he was finding it difficult to cope with. Being around groups of people caused him extreme amounts of anxiety and panic attacks so strong he thought it was the end and having others touch him visibly freaked him out, not mention the whispers and gossip about him. It was too much for him and he finally decided to quit college altogether, at least for the time being. His sudden decision though was one his parents disapproved of greatly. The ensuing fight left a rift between the three and even more so between Sam and his father. His father was dead set on him being the first Witwicky to go to college and nothing was going to change his mind, even if it wasn't what was best for his son.

The toughest thing for Sam though was the nightmares. Night after night he woke from horrible nightmares that shook him to his very soul, leaving him in a panic, gasping for breath, heart pounding out of his chest. Night after night he watched as Optimus was killed again and again in front of his very eyes. The dreams would very, the location or circumstances would change but the result was always the same Optimus would die by the hands of the Decepticons while trying to protect him and he was completely helpless to do anything but watch.

All of this combined left Sam weary, sleeping had become a distant memory for him and even though he did his best to hide it, he knew soon his mind or body wouldn't be able to take anymore. Bee had seen the drastic changes in the teenager and became quite concerned. His charge seemed to be getting worse by the hour and he knew that if something wasn't done and soon the boy would be in serious trouble, so when Sam told Bee about his sudden decision to drop out of college the yellow Camaro insisted that he and Sam return to the autobot base to live. Sam agreed to the idea quickly, being around the Autobots relaxed Sam their presence was comforting and made him feel safe and loved.

So now here he and Bumblebee sat on their way to what was going to be his new home and he was anxious to get there, not just to see his friends though, but because at the moment his headache was getting worse by the minute, so badly that he felt like his head was going to split in two any second and all he really wanted was a comfy bed to lay on while he waited for the pain to subside. He gave out a soft almost inaudible moan of pain and winced. Though faint Bee had still heard him and finally broke the silence.

"You okay Sam?"

Bee was extremely concerned and after running a quick scan he became even more concerned. His readings were showing him that his charge was in a great deal of pain yet again. Sam however as usual didn't want to worry his friend or admit to himself or anyone else that something was truly wrong with him and pretended everything was fine, plastering a fake smile on his face before answering.

"I'm fine Bee"

Of course Bumblebee knew he was faking and that he wasn't fine at all, but for some reason it seemed as though the teenager was afraid to tell his friend and guardian just how sick he felt or how much pain he was in and just continued to hide it for some reasons that were unknown to the scout. It was apparent to anyone who even looked at the boy that he wasn't fine at all, he was pale, with dark circles under his eyes, his body had become thinner, his clothes hanging loosely on him. So when Sam agreed to move to the base so easily Bumblebee was horribly relieved, once Sam was on base then Ratchet could take care of him and fix whatever was wrong.

Finally after two grueling hours of travel they made it onto the base, Bee sighed and silently prayed it was not to late to save the boys life...

(TBC...)

And there you have it chapter 1 finished. I hope you enjoyed it :D and be sure to check out my blog for more up to date information on project status's.