He had heard once that it was possible to read a man's hand. Not the charlatan's magic of divining the future by reading a few lines in a man's palm, but the simple act of holding another's hand and studying the patterns of scars, calluses and the tracery of lines to read the truth of a man's past.

Kenshin was not a coward by any means, but the thought that this might be so terrified him; chilled him to his very marrow.

Kaoru's eyes were fixed on his hands as he neatly sliced the fish for their supper; she seemed to be captivated by the swift efficiency of his movements- her own knife lay forgotten on the table.

He could still remember where every one of these scars came from; there was a fading line across his knuckles, remnant from an ill-fated fight in which he had managed to cut them on his opponent's teeth. Swordplay was his gift; he had decided then to leave common fisticuffs to brawlers when he could help it.

That smaller one just under the curve of his thumb brought a reluctant smile to his face, he noted from the corner of his eye that Kaoru smiled back but he was too lost in memories to respond.

Hiko had lost his temper in a truly spectacular way when he caught his too young, too foolish apprentice tossing a knife from hand to hand, twirling and throwing it high. When Hiko had appeared as though from nowhere, he had fumbled and turned his hand at just the right angle to catch the blade- though not in the way he had intended. As punishment he had spent the next few days sharpening and honing every knife in their collection… there were smaller scars from mistakes made there too.

Any other warrior could take his hand and know him for a swordsman; his palms were rough with the same callouses that marked anyone who troubled to practice their blade-work. The pattern was distinctive; rough patches at the base of his thumb and pointer fingers, he had noticed the same on Miss Kaoru's hands and Yahiko had been so proud to feel the skin there toughening after his efforts.

"Kenshin."

He flinched at Kaoru's voice, covering with a harmless smile at the last moment and laying the knife carefully aside. "Miss Kaoru."

"What's wrong? You're not yourself."

Kenshin laughed lightly, "Oh? But since this one is entirely-"

"Don't try to twist it around. What are you thinking?"

He forgot sometimes that she was no longer the thoughtless, impulsive child he had first met so long ago. She'd grown into a singularly perceptive woman; one dedicated to protecting her family. As far as she was concerned, he was family.

"It is nothing, Miss Kaoru. I wish you would not trouble yourself with it."

A blush of anger swept up her throat and across her cheeks. "Kenshin! You're so stubborn! Why can't you just accept that some of us are concerned for you? Why can't you confide in m- in us just once before you are forced to at the point of a sword? You are such an idiot!"

She stomped out of the room before he could even draw a breath to reply, and maybe that was for the best.

He stood silently for a moment, watching the play of light on the kitchen knife. Slowly he pulled the apron from his shoulders and hung it neatly from the peg beside the door.

Selfishly, he did not want to do this, but there was some truth in Kaoru's words, even if they were uttered in anger. He would give her the time to work out her frustrations in the dojo as she was wont to do, and then he would track her down and share a little of the burden that consumed his thoughts.

It wasn't fair to shift any of this weight onto her shoulders, weigh her down with secrets and half-forgotten memories… but then neither was it fair to hide so much of himself when she had made it plain that his silence weighed so heavily on her.

Not everything then. Only the little things; bits and pieces that he could bear to part with, and he would just have to pray that she was still too inexperienced to read any more into his words than he offered.

And that she hadn't mastered the art of reading his past in these hands.

!

!

!

Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine… fifty. Kaoru flexed her hands gently, rolling her shoulders until she could hear the click and shift of bone.

Fifty downward swings and a handful of vicious thrusts hadn't been enough to clear the venom in her thoughts. Perhaps another fifty swings would do. She stepped into position, raising the bokken fluidly.

Stupid Kenshin, swish, and his stupid ideas of protecting them, swish. It had never worked before and it wouldn't work now. The least he could offer would be the chance of soothing whatever old wounds were now plaguing his thoughts, but he wouldn't permit even that.

Useless! She swung wide and the bokken flew from her grasp to clatter loudly on the polished wood of the dojo floor. She scurried to scoop it up, gripping it tightly; it might be a better idea to resign herself to a walk rather than abusing her faithful equipment this way. Or maybe a warm bath… no, that conjured too many thoughts of Kenshin and that was just the thing she most needed to escape now.

Kaoru put up the sword and stalked from the training hall, gaze fixed straight ahead so that she did not even see the rurouni until he stepped directly into her path. "Miss Kaoru, please."

Kaoru glanced up quickly, prepared to tear into him anew until she saw that peculiar shadow still lingered in his eyes, something feral prowling just beneath.

"What?" Her voice came out sharper than she had intended, but it was a far more neutral response than her first inclinations would have been.

"Can we speak?"

"I don't see anything to prevent it." No use trying to pretend she wasn't still angry at him; disguising her emotions was a talent she had yet to master.

"Alone perhaps?"

She wanted to be spiteful and say no, stalk off and avoid speaking to him for the rest of the day. Had he asked this of her even a year before she might have yielded to the temptation, but here and now there was something in his tone that kept her from uttering the cruel word.

"Fine."

She cleared her throat and tried again, hoping for a more pleasant tone, "Yes."

She might have imagined it, but she thought she could see a flash of hope in his eyes, swiftly extinguished by something approaching despair.

She had never been able to leave well enough alone; Kaoru hoped that this time she had not gone too far.