Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter J.K Rowling does.

Summery: After killing Voldemort Harry Potter flees to the muggle world with guilt and self-loathing. On the verge of taking his own life Harry is found by none other than Theodore Nott, a spy for the light during the war. Theo's obsession with fixing pretty things draws him to Harry with longing to mend Potters wing so he can fly again.

Warnings: Slightly SLASH (nothing graphic), self harm, suicidal thoughts.

Soulless Skylark

Chapter 2: You Against Me

Bare. Empty. Lonely. Were all words that could easily describe Harry's current way of living. Sure, it was neat, tidy and clean but lacked any kind of personal touch displaying someone lived here. There were no photos on any surface or clothing flung about the room. The dark bed was neatly made and the wooden furniture polished to the state of spotlessness. Plain floorboards rested on the floor, not even squeaking when Theo stepped on them.

I think he's studying the room. Does he like it? His eyes narrow. Perhaps it's not to his usual pureblood standard. Part of me hopes he leaves in disgust at my living quarters while a niggling in the back of my mind hopes he stays. I long for a human presence. I haven't been around anyone for so long.

Harry seemed unsure of himself, never once looking in Theo's direction, only nervously flashing glances to the dark corners as if looking for a place to hide. To be perfectly honest Theo didn't really know what to do either, with all his time spent on finding Harry Potter to help him get started again in life he hadn't actually considered just how he was going to achieve it. He decided to start by simply getting to know one another, confidently striding to the seating strategically placed around the fire. He settled down on the sofa patting the spot next to him, he frowned slightly when Harry shuffled to the opposite armchair before curling into a defensive ball, eyes downcast.

I can't bear to sit near him, he reminds me of the friends I lost, of the easy casual touches that I never appreciated until I had to go without them. It reminds me of the 10 years at the beginning of my life with the Dursleys. They never dared touch the freak unless a beating was needed. Touch then meant pain.

"Harry." Theo sighed. "This isn't going to work if you won't look at me." He stretched across to grip Harry's chin, not relenting even when Harry flinched away from his touch. "Harry..." Theo stressed. The desperation in his voice seemed to draw Harry's attention as he looked up and locked his emerald eyes with Theo's. "That's better."

Theo's eyes are open and warm. They draw me in like a bee to honey.

Theo let go aware of the smaller boy's discomfort. "Now. Please Harry. Tell me why you've run off like this? No-one's seen you for months!"

I'm unwanted.

A small voice answered. "I didn't want anyone to see me. A lot of people don't want to see me anyway. I've done what they've asked. I have no use anymore."

"You really don't think that do you? Many people care about you, the Prophet speculates where you've gone to at least once a week!" Theo exclaimed. He didn't believe that Harry thought that he, the saviour of the wizarding world, wouldn't be missed.

Of course, the bloody Prophet. He only wants a story. I should have never invited him here, I trust too easy.

"Yes, of course the Prophet miss their damn "chosen one" no doubt in a few months time he'll be the new Dark Lord and everyone will turn against him. I'm not him, I'm not "the-boy-who-lived" or whatever you want to call it. I am just me. Just Harry. No-one just wants Harry." Croaked the green eyed boy.

"Well "Just Harry" what about others, your year mates, Seamus, Dean and Neville? I know for a fact they miss you." Theo didn't even to want to mention Ron or Hermione after the deep internal scar they left Harry.

"It would be best for them if they just get on with their lives without me. I always cause nothing but trouble. They'll soon forget about the boy called Harry Potter who slept in their dorm for 6 years."

I'd forgotten about them. Hogwarts seems like such a long time ago, it's almost faded into a dream, the impressions are still there, details are missing.

The honest that prevailed in his eyes forced Theo to believe his words. This was not the Harry Potter he knew. The Harry he had always seen at Hogwarts was the strong, confident boy who had everyone's respect with his open honesty and charm. The hardships of the war had obviously torn this away from the wizard. Being forced to kill a man, no matter how evil they were, had to do something to a person and the proof was right in front of his eyes. The guilt bent posture and limp form made Theo want to take the boy in his arms and squeeze him tight to push the pieces back together.

His amber flecked eyes harden. He's decided to leave. I'm too much trouble, he's only just realised it and now wants out. Theo leant forward to get up, I just squeezed my eyes shut, unable to face another rejection.

And so Theo did. Wrapping strong arms around the shaking body Theo drew Harry on to his lap tucking the head full of raven curls into the crook of his neck.

I struggled. I feel trapped, suffocated. His arms were like steel bands and left no room for escape.

He didn't let go until the writhing body trying to get away settled into his chest. That's when the tears started and Harry's shuddering breaths filled the air.

I finally succumbed to the warmth of Theo's chest. An aching longing wrapped painfully around my heart. And I broke despite the arms holding me together, this touch wasn't painful, it was warm and full of caring. It was just him and me. We seem like the only people in the world.

"Shh, it will be alright. I know things are looking down and you're hurt but it will get better. I promise Harry. I promise."

I'm not an idiot Theo. I'm broken and can't be fixed. I'm irreparable, but for now it's just you against me.

Theo walked out into the rain, knowing Harry needed time alone after not being around people. It was getting dark so with a heavy sigh he apparated away from Little Hangleton and to his modest house in London. It was peacefully quiet in his home, jus the way he liked it. Theo grabbed a glass and a bottle of firewhiskey, he needed to stop his head from pounding and relax.

He opened his current book and attempted to read but his thoughts always seemed to come swerving back to a certain green eyed boy. He felt like screaming at Harry to show him he was worth more than what people expected. He wanted to grab his shoulders and shake them hard. He needed to get those eyes sparkling with happiness again.

Realising he had been staring at the same page for 10 minutes Theo closed the book and put away the remaining whiskey. He strode up the stairs and into his bedroom. It was with a heavy heart Theo prepared for bed and drifted to sleep thought revolving around Harry Potter.

After Theo left I was alone again with the deafening silence. I trudged into the bathroom opening the draw to get out a washcloth for my tear streaked face. I can't believe I let myself be so vulnerable. I was weak. I am weak. I need to be stronger. The feeling of hate, self loathing, despair and loneliness were clawing at me again. I need to escape. I spotted my knife in the draw and sucked in a breath.

I was filled with desire. I picked it up out of the draw feeling the weight of it in my hand. This is what I need, I deserve the pain; it takes away the guilt and overwhelms all my other feeling until only the sweet euphoria of swirling hazy pain is left. I bring the sharp tip to my wrist, relishing the cool metal before applying pressure and dragging it across my skin. It's shallow. So shallow no blood appeared. I look at it in disgust, ashamed of my weakness before starting a new line parallel to it.

This time blood is pulled to the surface. Small tiny droplets that run down my hand, along my palm, down my fingers and splash onto the floor. I let out a sigh of relief as adrenalin and pain rush through my system before the desire overwhelmed me again. Another cut. Another slash, this time a zigzag from the other. And another. And then 3 more. The empty feeling in my stomach is almost gone, engulfed by the sharp aching. This is good. This is what I deserve. Another scratch of the knife. Another rip of skin. My arm is littered with red cuts and I feel so much better because of it.

I know it isn't healthy. I know it just makes me more abnormal, more of a freak. But it make's living bearable, and for the moment it will have to do.

A/N: Thank you for the reviews. R, yes I am alright thank you. Sorry for the wait, enjoy the chapter.

Soulless Skylark