It was tempting, oh so very tempting, to draw the silver blade across her throat or wrists, to end everything right then and there, in the middle of the night where no one was watching, but she couldn't. Her hands trembled, causing her grip on the sword to slacken. Hesitation gripped her, and for the umpteenth time since Validar's defeat, she threw the sword aside, only to walk over to pick it up again.

Why, why was she hesitating? All she had to do was extinguish her life's light, and then everything would be over. Grima would be without a vessel, her future self would cease to exist, and Lucina's grim future would never come to fruition. Her death would prevent countless atrocities from happening, while her existence would only bring about the opposite.

By the moon's light, Leaf turned to look behind her, at the direction of where they had set up camp. A bittersweet smile formed on her lips and she shook her head sadly. They had defeated Validar a few days ago, and were now on their way to Mount Prism, so that Chrom could perform the Awakening to summon Naga's power. Leaf had felt the tension in the air as they marched. Whispers drifted around her and hardly anyone beside Chrom spoke to her, but even then, their exchange had been kept short. She couldn't say she was bugged by such a turn of events; after all, it made sense, what with her being the daughter of Validar and the vessel for the fell dragon becoming public knowledge, but she would be lying if she said it didn't hurt, to see her friends, her comrades, look at her with such doubtful eyes.

Her heart ached whenever Lucina looked at her with a guarded expression, when Morgan repeatedly hesitated when speaking with her, when Sumia made excuses to escape her company. The Pegasus knight had been the first friend Leaf had made within the Shepherds, and while everyone had been kind to her then, Sumia had gone out of her way to welcome the tactician, and Leaf valued that friendship greatly, which was why it hurt that much more to see Sumia, now going out of her way to avoid her. She couldn't blame them for such reactions though, because she felt the same about herself. Leaf didn't trust herself; how could she ask others to trust her?

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips, and her grip on the sword tightened. Just get it over with; if you can't use the sword then use a Thoron tome, she thought to herself, but she couldn't do it. No matter what she told herself, what motives she came up with, she couldn't bring herself to end her own life. Why, just why? The positives of her dying outnumbered the negatives by far, but she couldn't do it. There was always the hope of dying in their next battle, but she knew that wasn't going to happen either. Chrom was always by her side, watching her back and protecting her from attacks whenever she wasn't paying attention. In truth, in the past few battles against the Risen, she had deliberately left her guard down, hoping the Risen would kill her, but Chrom had always been there to fend them off. Now, in the middle of the night was her only chance to slip away quietly, but…

Leaf sighed again, staring at her reflection in the sword's blade. She couldn't understand why Chrom always watched her back; exalted blood rain through his veins, while fell blood ran through hers. By that logic, they were enemies, and she had already done things to prove that she couldn't be trusted, but time and time again, he always came to her rescue on the battlefield. It had warmed her to see that he still cared for her, that perhaps he still loved her, but such actions only went to be contradicted by him hardly speaking to her. She, of course, didn't hold anything against him; unlike the rest of the Shepherds, he as least still spoke to her at times, and that was all she could ask for.

She would be doing everyone a favour, if she were to end her life, right then and there. The same line of reasoning passed through her mind, but her hand didn't move, the blade still reflecting her reflection back at her. Every single night since Validar's death she had left her tent to sit outside after everyone else had gone to sleep. Always, she held her sword in one hand, telling herself that it would be the night where finally, her life would end, but constantly, she chickened out, only to repeat the process the next night. The entire procedure was tiring her out, but she couldn't see an end to it. The fell blood within her was going to bring about their destruction, and she wanted no part in it. Leaf was certain that one night, she would be able to bring about her own death, she simply had to.

Each day that passed was simply one more day wasted, one more day wherein she endangered her friends. Validar had controlled her, using her body to steal the Fire Emblem from Chrom, and even though he was now dead, who knew if that couldn't happen again? She was at the fell dragon's mercy, and while she would always try to fight off Grima's influence, she never would know if she would succeed. Perhaps, one of these days, her future self would take possession of her and use her body to kill off her friends and family, one by one.

Such thoughts simply made her hand tremble even more, but she inhaled sharply, gripping the handle of her sword. Time was slowly passing her by, and soon the sun would be rising, taking away her chance. She needed to do this, and soon. If they continued marching at their current pace then they would reach Mount Prism by midday, and Leaf knew that she wouldn't be able to do anything then. She was too much of a chicken, too hesitant, and Mount Prism was where Chrom was to summon Naga. She didn't dare soil much a sacred place with her fell blood.

Her sword sat in her hand, the blade gleaming in the moonlight. There was only one thing for her to do, and she had to do it. She couldn't get the Risen to kill her, and Lucina had backed out of the task, leaving her the only one capable, and the only one willing. Leaf had been glad that Lucina hadn't killed her though, as much as she wished that the young lord had. She didn't want to burden her daughter with the fact that she had killed her own mother, even if it was to protect the world. Chrom had told her that he trusted her and believed in her, that the bonds between them were stronger than Grima's influence, but Leaf didn't want to test that theory, because if he was wrong, then someone would have to pay the price, and that someone would most likely be him. If Chrom were to die then everyone in Ylisse would be devastated, especially Lucina, and Leaf couldn't do that to her daughter.

No one would miss her terribly if she was gone, and there were possibly only a few more battles left; Frederick would be able to provide Chrom with advice if he ever needed it, he didn't need her anymore. If Chrom ever did need tactical advice, he always had Morgan to ask. She had served them well as their tactician, seeing them through many battles, but with her heritage out in the open, Leaf knew not many of her comrades trusted her, yet they trusted Chrom enough to still listen to her as they charged into battle. Only Chrom fought repeatedly by her side, no matter how much she tried to distance herself. Morgan was always near Lucina or Cynthia, and if the young lord wasn't with her brother then she was with Gerome, fighting together.

It was reassuring to see that her children had friends that they could count on, that they wouldn't be alone, no matter what. It warmed her heart to hear them laugh and to see them smile, in lieu of the situation. It only strengthened her resolve to take her own life, because then it would preserve the happiness they had found.

Again, she turned to look at gleaming blade, her right hand clutching the handle tightly. She had taken off her gloves earlier in her tent and now the mark symbolizing the fell blood in her veins was openly displayed on her hand, staring up at her, as if mocking her, laughing at her, sneering at her.

I have to end this. Her eyes fluttered shut and she raised her sword as she inhaled sharply. The blade reflected the moonlight, shining in the darkness like a faraway star, leading travellers to their destination.

Leaf smiled sadly, her eyebrows furrowing as she gave into her thoughts. Lucina won't lose Chrom and Morgan will have a future. She recalled the tears Lucina had shed, that night after they left Carrion Isle, when the young lord had finally revealed her identity to Chrom and herself. She remembered the ever present smile on Lucina's face as they had hugged. Leaf couldn't take away her happiness, not after what she had experienced in her future.

Cynthia will be able to create more memories with Sumia and Gerome will have his parents at his side. Their faces flashed in her mind as she remembered the places they had gone and the enemies they had to defeat in order to get the energetic Pegasus knight and stoic wyvern rider to join them. She remembered seeing Gerome and Gregor slowly growing closer together as father and son; she remembered seeing Cynthia gathering flower petals with Sumia, only to bury Frederick in them not long after.

Owain won't have to worry about losing Vaike over a Risen attack and Laurent won't be alone. It had merely been a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but Leaf had overheard both males' conversations with their fathers. She had heard that in the future, Vaike died protecting Owain from a Risen attack; she had heard that Laurent had been sent farther back in time than Lucina, that he had spent five years on his own, wandering around an era wherein he knew no one.

With each passing thought of the future children that they had found, Leaf's resolve to end her life merely hardened, the hesitation that had gripped her slowly ebbing away. Her breathing quickened, along with her heartbeat, but she merely squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on her thoughts, not allowing herself to hesitate any longer. Inigo will be able to dance with Olivia and Kjelle can try to learn to be a better cook from Virion. Memories of watching Olivia dance simply made her smile; the dancer was graceful in every step she performed, and so was her son. Leaf was lucky to have witnessed Inigo practicing one day, after everyone had gone to bed. While his movements weren't as fluid as Olivia's, it was obvious that with practice, he would become her equal. With Leaf out of the picture, they would have all the time in the world to practice, and the same would hold true for Kjelle and Virion. The two of them would be able to practice their cooking skills until the knight's meals were edible.

Severa wouldn't need to distance herself and Noire will have Gaius at her side to fend off Tharja's hexes. The two females flashed through Leaf's mind, sending shivers down her arms. The archer and mercenary couldn't be any more different from one another, and while she didn't know much about Severa, as the two of them hardly spent much time together, Leaf thought of Noire as her little sister, even though the archer had wanted to call her 'Mother'. Severa came across as distant and cold, but with time, time that they will have, Leaf believed that Severa would be able to open up to others, to learn to let others in.

Then there was Yarne and Nah, the male taguel and female manakete. Leaf also didn't know much about them, but from what interactions she saw between them and Morgan, she knew she was making the correct decision. Nah tried so hard to act mature, unlike Nowi, who preferred to play games. She had been devoid of a childhood, due to the horrors of the future. Yarne seemed to always be worried, always anxious about something, never knowing the meaning of relaxation. If Grima was removed from the world, they would have all the time to be children, to experience the joy of growing up.

End everything now, and the children's future will be secure; their grim future from which they came from will never happen, and they will all be able to live on happily, like now. There will be no more war, and everyone will be able to settle down somewhere to continue on with their lives.

At that, she opened her eyes, her lips pressed together in a line, looking emotionless, but her mind was strangely clear for once, the first time in days. It had done her good to think about the children, about how happy they were in this time with their parents. She couldn't bear to take that away from them and reminiscing had brought on a wave of determinism. They were fighting for a future, a future where people could live in peace and harmony once more, a future where the Risen didn't threaten them behind every corner, but most of all, a future where their children could be happy, where families could be together.

"Now, or never." She stared out into the night as her hand tightened around the handle, steeling herself. "Morgan, you'll be a fantastic tactician, there is no more I can teach you. With practice and time, you'll be able to outwit me; I believe in you. Lucina, you've grown up to be so beautiful; I am blessed to have you as my daughter and to have met you. I am so thankful for you." Pausing, she inhaled, blinking back memories and tears. "Chrom… My life began with you the day you found me and welcomed me into your life. My life will end, to prevent yours from ending. Please, take care of Lucina and Morgan, you'll have to fulfil your duty as their father, but also play my part as their mother," she whispered to the darkness, as if the words would drift on their own to the tents housing her family.

She then brought the sword down.

A/N: First fanfic I've written in a few months, and the first Fire Emblem story I've written ever, so I hope it wasn't too bad… I've been obsessed with FE:A since I've gotten my hands on it, and have been playing it every day since, so hah, no surprise that I can't keep plot bunnies out of my head.

If I ever get around to writing stories/oneshots centered on MaMU then I'll name him Robin, since well, I was first introduced to him as Robin, so that's what I'll be naming him. It just seems weird to me to name both genders of the MU Robin… That, and I got used to calling FeMU Leaf from playing FE12. If that bothers you then oh well, nothing I can do about. Thanks for reading though : D

(Edit) Fixed a mistake where I named Gaius twice as the father.

Happy Leafing~