Untitled
by: Faith
Dutchy watched silently from the bed as Skittery pulled up his brown pants then slung his suspenders over his shoulders, over the pale pink shirt underneath. He was beautiful. Brown hair which when left uncut fell into his hazel eyes, a nice tan complexion complete with a muscled body. He had been Dutchy's first... with another man at least. He had lost his virginity to a girl at the age of fourteen. She had been a hooker and his father's birthday present to him. If his father was around now he was sure he'd have a heart attack if he learned of his son's sexual orientation (he had known he was gay and had been in other hidden relationships since he was sixteen). He didn't care though. The young blonde didn't care what anyone else thought about him. He didn't care that if any of the other guys found out they'd laugh or be disgusted and kick him out of the house. None of that mattered to him. All that mattered was that he was with Skittery now.
"Don't leave."
He could barely recognize the voice as his own. It was well past midnight and it would take an hour to get back to the lodging house, Dutchy had only hoped that the other boy would want to spend the night in that run down hotel room. The teenager had yet to learn what it was like to wake up in Skittery's arms even when they hadn't had sex the night before. After a year together and after four months of being intimate he was still denied that one wish.
"You know I have to. People are already starting to wonder about us. I ain't there in the morning and you ain't either they're gonna know something's up." Skittery slipped on his shoes and made his way to the door. "Stay here. Get some sleep."
"I love you." Dutchy told him. He waited eight months to say those words to him even though he knew he meant them after five.
"Go to sleep."
He couldn't do anything but nod and with that his lover walked out the brown wood chipped door and left. He had never said those words back to him and Dutchy was starting to think he never would. Sighing he rolled over onto his back. It shouldn't have to be like this. He thought to himself. We shouldn't have to keep it a secrete. He didn't have a choice though. Whereas he didn't care what happened to him he cared what would happen to Skittery and Skittery felt the same though would never say it. He had a reputation. He had friends all over the city if they knew he was bisexual... Dutchy didn't even want to think of what would happen to the other boy.
Why did the word have to be so cruel? He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs to the world that he loved another man and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. It was all so frustrating. There was nothing he could do. He couldn't change the opinions of every single person in all of New York. He couldn't make them understand what he felt towards Skittery. And they couldn't stop loving him just because they were both male. They wouldn't. He would never give anyone that sort of satisfaction. It meant too much to him.
He had to tell someone though. No matter how many times Skittery told him no one else needed to know about them Dutchy still wanted to. He was proud of their relationship. He wanted to announce it for everyone to hear and if he couldn't have that he at least needed someone else to talk about it to. To talk about Skittery. To talk about all these feelings that were running around inside him. But who could he trust?
Sleep he found was impossible so instead he simply got dressed and put on his glasses which had been carefully placed down on the night stand by the bed only a few hours ago and sat down by the window and stayed there until the sun came up.
to be continued...
Dutchy watched silently from the bed as Skittery pulled up his brown pants then slung his suspenders over his shoulders, over the pale pink shirt underneath. He was beautiful. Brown hair which when left uncut fell into his hazel eyes, a nice tan complexion complete with a muscled body. He had been Dutchy's first... with another man at least. He had lost his virginity to a girl at the age of fourteen. She had been a hooker and his father's birthday present to him. If his father was around now he was sure he'd have a heart attack if he learned of his son's sexual orientation (he had known he was gay and had been in other hidden relationships since he was sixteen). He didn't care though. The young blonde didn't care what anyone else thought about him. He didn't care that if any of the other guys found out they'd laugh or be disgusted and kick him out of the house. None of that mattered to him. All that mattered was that he was with Skittery now.
"Don't leave."
He could barely recognize the voice as his own. It was well past midnight and it would take an hour to get back to the lodging house, Dutchy had only hoped that the other boy would want to spend the night in that run down hotel room. The teenager had yet to learn what it was like to wake up in Skittery's arms even when they hadn't had sex the night before. After a year together and after four months of being intimate he was still denied that one wish.
"You know I have to. People are already starting to wonder about us. I ain't there in the morning and you ain't either they're gonna know something's up." Skittery slipped on his shoes and made his way to the door. "Stay here. Get some sleep."
"I love you." Dutchy told him. He waited eight months to say those words to him even though he knew he meant them after five.
"Go to sleep."
He couldn't do anything but nod and with that his lover walked out the brown wood chipped door and left. He had never said those words back to him and Dutchy was starting to think he never would. Sighing he rolled over onto his back. It shouldn't have to be like this. He thought to himself. We shouldn't have to keep it a secrete. He didn't have a choice though. Whereas he didn't care what happened to him he cared what would happen to Skittery and Skittery felt the same though would never say it. He had a reputation. He had friends all over the city if they knew he was bisexual... Dutchy didn't even want to think of what would happen to the other boy.
Why did the word have to be so cruel? He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs to the world that he loved another man and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. It was all so frustrating. There was nothing he could do. He couldn't change the opinions of every single person in all of New York. He couldn't make them understand what he felt towards Skittery. And they couldn't stop loving him just because they were both male. They wouldn't. He would never give anyone that sort of satisfaction. It meant too much to him.
He had to tell someone though. No matter how many times Skittery told him no one else needed to know about them Dutchy still wanted to. He was proud of their relationship. He wanted to announce it for everyone to hear and if he couldn't have that he at least needed someone else to talk about it to. To talk about Skittery. To talk about all these feelings that were running around inside him. But who could he trust?
Sleep he found was impossible so instead he simply got dressed and put on his glasses which had been carefully placed down on the night stand by the bed only a few hours ago and sat down by the window and stayed there until the sun came up.
to be continued...