Title= Spark

Summary= Jake isn't stupid. And he isn't jealous. But sometimes, he wishes he had that spark, the thing that made people look on at his brother and sister in amazement and say with absolute certainty, 'that kid is going to go far'.

~0~

Jake most certainly isn't stupid and he most certainly isn't jealous. Not of his mate's parents letting them stay out all night without worrying, not of the rich actor's kids in Hollywood who always have no arguments with their parents, and certainly not of his brother and sister.

He doesn't get jealous. Who would be jealous of Ben, with his number of detentions, wacky friends and so obviously stupid theories about the universe? And who would be jealous of Karen, with her fear of burglars and need to hold onto some dumb teddy bear at 9 years old and all her stupid friends? Not him, that's who.

He isn't ever jealous, not of the fact that Ben and Karen take up almost all of mum and dad's time and the little he does get left is when they're too tired to listen to him properly, not that they have so many friends who listen to them and respect them and like them in spite of their musical tastes.

But sometimes, he just wishes that he has that spark, the one that makes Ben and Karen so brilliant and able to impress and do whatever they like no matter how stupid and make people respect them even more for it.

He just wishes that he is as crazy as that but it won't happen.

Because that spark isn't something you can make happen, either you're born with it and have it your whole life or you're born without it and just have to make do.

He remembers when Ben and Karen were born and within a few hours they were gurgling and smiling and tugging at the blanket and squirming to get out and explore this big new world they were in. And he remembers how his mum and dad had told the both of them 'oh, you're going to go far aren't you my little one?' but they never said that to him with as much certainty, he knows, he asked his older cousin who was there at his birth for the video.

He can get a girlfriend a year older than him who's a pole dancer and hang around with the druggies at school and break curfew and work his arse off on school work but it doesn't matter.

Because Karen will still be able to argue her point much better than him for whoever she goes out with and Ben will always think up something totally crazy to do for an assignment that although will send half his class home sick will get him the highest marks. He remembers how his brother re-enacted the symptoms of the Black Death to his class and got an A because he frothed at the mouth and how he only got a B- for showing a PowerPoint that he had worked on for five hours.

And Ben and Karen will play crazy games like 'spot the lesbian' or 'chav or hobo?' and keep dead pigeons in their sock drawers and play Narnia with the lion statues when they go on a day trip.

And even though the teachers snap rulers and their parents scream in frustration, for every crazy thing there's a smile somewhere underneath because it's obvious these two will go so far so fast and so brilliantly.

And he doesn't mind that, honestly, he's less likely to get sent to prison than either of them two.

But sometimes, just sometimes, Jake wished he had that spark.