A/N: Here it is, Chapter 1 of Part 2. I hope it was worth the wait and the build up. Just a head's up about this part - somewhere in the first half of the season, the episodes stopped speaking to me. And as much as I had planned to write a chapter for every episode, I really can't force the inspiration. So we skip six episodes in the middle part of the season, but get all the first ones and all the last ones. I'm writing Judgement Day right now so updates should be able to continue every other day, with the exception of Chapter 2 which won't be going up until Friday. Thanks again for everything guys, I absolutely love being able to share this story with you. That you guys want to read it means everything to me. Enjoy! ~Aliyah

By the time morning came and Tony was still unreachable, Ziva was tired of waiting. She drove to NCIS, planning to use what she remembered from McGee's tutorial to at least pinpoint her husband's location from his cell phone. But to her surprised she wasn't the only team member there. Ziva quickly saw through McGee's lie about fragging his computers and settled at her desk. "Have you heard from Tony?"

McGee looked up. "Why are you worried about Tony?"

She fiddled with a pencil. "Well, he was supposed to meet us at the bar last night, but he never arrived and he did not call." Ziva sighed. "He is not answering his phone." Then she glanced at Gibbs' desk and frowned. "Gibbs was here all night too?" The riled former assassin advanced on the nervous probie. "Are we a team McGee?"

Gibbs breezed around the corner. "At ease Officer David."

Ziva crossed her arms. "Teams do not have secrets Gibbs." She ignored the subtle reminder from her conscience that she and Tony were indeed hiding a rather large secret.

Gibbs ignored her for several moments but finally began to fill her in on what he and McGee had been learning overnight. Then Director Shepard appeared and asked McGee to track a cell number, then quickly explained that the woman Tony was seeing was La Grenouille's daughter. Gibbs made his displeasure at being left out of the loop very clear and Jenny told them about the prearranged signal and the possibility that Tony's cover had been blown.

Panic crowded Ziva's throat and didn't lessen as they made their way to MTAC where everything was being tranferred. His choice of voicemail message amused her, but the next moment Ziva's world stopped turning and a gasp escaped as they all watched Tony's green mustang disappear in a cloud of orange fire. She was frozen to the spot, unable to move a muscle until Gibbs ordered them to gear up. Jenny insisted she was coming too and they moved downstairs on autopilot.

At the crime scene everything felt like it was going in slow motion. They just stood there, taking in the destruction. Hardly anything was left of the car except a blackened frame and a charred body in the driver's seat. Ziva worked hard not to look at it, loss and emptiness taking up residence in her soul. Neither she nor McGee budged from their places until Gibbs yelled at them. How could he treat this like just another case? How could he not care at all about a loss of this magnitude?

Under orders Ziva began taking pictures, still avoiding putting the body in her line of vision. She felt no relief at all when Ducky announced that death would've been instantaneous. If only her suffering could be over so swiftly. The Israeli fought back any show of emotion, keeping the secret because that was how they'd wanted it. Her whole life was over the instant the car blew up with her husband inside, but no one knew and she would take that truth to her grave after she hunted down and dealt with the person who had taken everything from her.

As they began their investigation, McGee looked over at her and swallowed. "You believe in miracles Ziva?"

She should've tried to offer some form of comfort to the man who had been like a brother to Tony, but selfishly she clung to her grief, knowing she had a right to it far greater than any of them. Ziva squatted down. "Not part of my training." But she would give anything for one right now. A glint caught her eye and she reached into the wreckage to pull out a badge.

"It might not be Tony," the probie insisted, not ready to give up yet.

Ziva looked away, holding out the badge so he could see. Then she wiped away the grime and tried not to cry as she slipped the black band across the front and silently slipped the memento in her pocket. She deserved something to hold onto.

NCIS

Back at the office McGee was watching the explosion of Tony's car on the plasma, rewinding and playing it again and again. Ziva sat at her desk, head in her hands. "Must you keep doing that?" she asked listlessly. She didn't need to see it over and over to know it was real. Her heart felt dead and hung heavy like a lump of lead in her chest. Nothing mattered anymore. Ziva's brow furrowed as she tried to replay the final moments she'd spent with Tony the previous night before going to meet their team at the bar. Did she say 'I love you'? Or was she frustrated by his need to confess everything to Jeanne before he joined them? She couldn't remember and it was eating her up inside. What was the last memory she left her husband with?

McGee interrupted her tormented thoughts. "I'm just checking something Gibbs said. Tony wouldn't've carried it with him, you know?" She stared forlornly across the bullpen with tears in her eyes. "His shield and ID, not if he was undercover. He would've stashed it in the car, maybe under the seat. Just because we found his ID doesn't mean it's Tony."

There was no room for hope in Ziva's reality and her voice was utterly defeated as she stated the facts. "His car, his ID, his weapon, both of his cellphones McGee." She chuckled, feeling as if she might burst into tears at any moment. He didn't answer and Ziva finally turned to see what he was looking at. She stood, pushing back the grief threatening to drown her and got back to business. There was no time to wallow in her loss when whoever did this was still out there. "What was it Gibbs said that you thought needed checking?"

Tim stared at her. "He thought Tony might be following someone."

NCIS

They'd just shared their findings with Gibbs when Ducky appeared in the squadroom and contradicted their conclusion about Tony possibly following La Grenouille. "Tony contracted pneumonic plague, as I'm sure everyone can remember."

Ziva shook her head. "Before my time." Tony had never told her that particular story, but she'd heard bits and pieces from various people and had occasionally comforted her husband when he woke from nightmares about drowning in his own body.

"He almost died," McGee informed her.

"Yes, from severe pneumonia," Ducky continued. "As a result, his lungs would've been extensively scarred. Unlike the almost pristine lung of the man currently in Autopsy. The body on which I am performing an autopsy is not Tony's."

McGee smiled instantly, but Ziva was afraid to believe the ME's words, even though her own lips lifted in reflex to the news. Was it possible they were not over yet? That they could have another chance? She hoped for that with everything she was. Then concern flared when Gibbs asked where Tony was, because Ziva knew he would never let her believe a truth this jagged if he had a choice.

Kort showed up not long after the revelation to make empty threats and accuse them of interfering. He was like a parasite and Ziva just wanted him to go away. As he headed out the elevator doors slid open to reveal Tony. He looked a little worn but otherwise seemed fine. Ziva felt like she was seeing a ghost. Tony laughed at the CIA agent and pointed a finger. "Hey, my car blew up this morning. Did you do that?"

Trent lunged at the senior field agent and pushed him against the wall. "Where did you go with La Grenouille?"

Tony merely glanced to the side where Gibbs, Ziva and McGee had guns trained on him. Ziva smiled a little, she would like nothing better than to shoot the horrible man, if only he would give her a reason. Kort backed off and Tony straightened his suit. "Actually, he prefers Rene. Arms dealers, they're very touchy about their code names. The team slowly lowered and reholstered their guns. "The Frog has a kind of slimy overtone to it. Maybe you should keep it in mind for next time, you could use it yourself."

Kort glared. "We will find him DiNozzo."

He stared back. "Happy frog hunting." Then Tony turned and grinned at his team. "What, no balloons?"

Ziva would've liked nothing more than to throw herself at her husband, put her arms around him and never let go. By the way he looked at her, Tony knew, but his presence was demanded in Jenny's office for a debrief and Ziva watched him go, feeling like she could breathe for the first time since that morning.

NCIS

When he returned downstairs, the first thing Tony did was smack McGee. He frowned. "What was that for?"

Tony sat down at his desk. "Believing I was dead."

McGee hurried to defend himself. "Hey, I never believed you were dead. It was Ziva who gave up on you."

Ziva immediately punched him in the arm. Tony wasn't surprised by the news but it still hurt to hear. He didn't blame her, if situations were reversed, he would've taken what he saw at face value. He looked up at his wife and she pointed. "Do not even think about the headslap." McGee moved out of range and Ziva leaned forward. "You seem anxious."

He swallowed. "I'm fine." But Tony didn't look away and his eyes told her a different story.

"She knows?" Ziva guessed, wishing he could be relieved instead of burdened.

Tony's expression grew pensive as he remembered. "She knows."

Ziva pushed her hair over her shoulder. "What are you going to do?"

The phrase that jumped to the forefront of his mind went something along the lines of, I'm going to go home and make love to you and try to pretend these last six months never happened, but then Abby came running in to hug him and the moment was lost.

"Tony! I knew you'd be alright, I knew it! Everyone else gave you up for dead, even Ziva."

She knew when she was caught. "Okay." Holding up a letter opener, Ziva shrugged one shoulder. "I may have acted a little hastily." She eyed him in a way that made Tony think she'd read his earlier thoughts. He stared at her.

"That's my letter opener."

Ziva nodded and turned it over. "Excellent balance and weight. The edge is a little dull, but I have always admired it."

Tony began taking a catalogue of his desk. "Where's my American Pie coffee mug?"

"Palmer." Abby ratted him out without persuasion.

Tony's eyes narrowed. "Mighty Mouse stapler?"

"Ducky." She smiled as the man himself walked up behind Tony. "Hey Ducky."

He set the small blue stapler in Tony's palm and tried to sound sincere. "My dear fellow, I never believed it for a moment. Welcome home."

Gibbs came in. "It's not every day people think you're dead DiNozzo."

The look Ziva gave him made Tony hope there was never another one of those days. The grief in her eyes was brittle and all consuming, giving him a glimpse of the agony she'd been in for too many hours. One should never have to hear that the love of their life was not coming home.

NCIS

At the earliest opportunity Ziva followed Tony into the men's room and locked the door. As soon as he determined they were alone, Tony engulfed his wife in his arms, burying his face in her hair. Ziva clung to him, and after a moment the front she'd been putting up for the others crumbled and sobs shook her slim frame. Tony held her tighter, hot tears leaking from his own eyes. "I thought that was you in the car," she whispered. "I thought you were dead, and I could not even cry because no one knows."

Tony had a hard time getting his voice to work. "I'm so sorry Ziva. That was supposed to be me. After the explosion all I could think of was you. I couldn't get back any sooner, I didn't have a way to call. Gosh baby, I'm so sorry for making you worry."

Ziva pulled back and punched his shoulder. "That is for letting us think you were dead." Then she placed her hands on his face and kissed her husband in pure relief. "And that is because I am so glad to see you." She stood there, eyes closed, breathing in his scent and feeling his heart beat for several moments. At last Ziva pulled Tony's badge out of her pocket and looked at it, rubbing her thumb slowly over the raised letters before handing it to him.

He took in the black band pulled across the gold shield and sighed. "So you did give up on me."

She shrugged listlessly. "There was no room left for hope, and I am so tired of being disappointed."

"I'm here," Tony whispered, leaning his forehead on hers, "and I love you."

Ziva eyed him with apprehension. "Why does that sound like the precursor to bad news?"

He shook his head. "It's not, I promise."

Ziva's eyes shadowed and she took a step back, rubbing her arms. "Why did you not come to the bar last night? Why were you with her all night?"

The unspoken question in her tone hurt, but Tony couldn't blame her for wondering. He wasn't sure he'd be so understanding if it was the other way around and Ziva was the one flirting and pretending to date another man. He held out his arms for her. "Honey, I care about Jeanne just like every other vulnerable woman we've dealt with. I've gotten to know her and she's fun to be around. But you're the one I married, you're the one I come home to. I love you babe and I didn't sleep with her last night - we were trying to survive a drug dealer who wanted his product from inside his dead buddy. Wrong place, wrong time." He kissed her fingers. "I need you to believe me, please. We've made it this far, don't stop trusting me now."

Ziva searched his gaze and tucked herself back against him. "I trust you."

He let out a sigh. "Good." That was the best news he'd heard all day. Hugging her again, Tony breathed in her shampoo. "I love you."

She nodded into his chest. "I know. I love you too." Then a thought occurred to her and Ziva looked up at her husband with hope in her eyes. "So it is just us now?"

"Yes." Tony kissed her slowly. "For the first time since a month after our wedding, it's finally just us."

A smile crossed her face and they stayed wrapped in their love and the freedom of that realization for a few minutes longer before returning to work. Being together was the most important thing of all.

NCIS

As Gibbs led the way to Abby's lab moments later, Tony fell into step behind Ziva and clasped her hand lightly, feeling a need to be in contact with her as much as possible. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled faintly, pulling away before they reached the elevator. Downstairs he leaned more about the bomb that blew up his car. Apparently it was the same as nine other bombs that had gone off all over the world over the last few years, each one targeting an arms dealer.

"The only problem is, Tony's not an arms dealer," McGee pointed out.

"Girlfriend's father's an arms dealer," Gibbs said, looking to Tony.

"She's been working nights, I pick her up every morning for breakfast."

Ziva already knew that, she missed spending that time with him. "You park the car, they strap on the bomb, set the timer and walk away."

Gibbs changed their perspective. "You weren't the target, she was."

Even knowing Jeanne was likely with John right now and hopefully safe, his heart sped up. "Maybe she still is."

Gibbs nodded. "Take Ziva."

The couple was relieved to hear that, they needed some time alone, both to talk over their strategy for handling this new development and just be together. Tony flipped the switch in the elevator and cupped her face, kissing her gently, then deeply before wrapping her tight in his arms. He sighed into her hair. "Are you okay?"

Ziva tried to get closer and curled her fingers into his shirt. "Can you ask me again after I have woken up with you a few times, when I can make sure this is real?"

Tony pulled back and brushed his lips over her closed eyelids. "I'm real Ziva. I'm so sorry about earlier."

She laid two fingers over his mouth. "I already forgave you, but it is a different switch from mourning you to celebrating that we are free from distraction for the first time in months. Give me a little time, okay?"

The elevator was set back in motion and once in the parking lot, Tony pulled out the keys. But Ziva almost took him to the ground when he reached for the door handle, and insisted on thoroughly checking the car for possible explosive devices before settling gingerly into the passenger seat. Tony guessed it would be weeks before she was comfortable letting him into a vehicle again without examining it first. Getting in, Tony turned the car on and reached for her hand. She offered it with a smile and they made the drive without any delays.

Ziva was curious when they entered Jeanne's apartment, finally getting to see where her husband had been spending so much time. They split up to look around and she found an envelope addressed to Tony on the table. Feeling a little bit of jealousy at his name in another woman's handwriting, she nonetheless gave it to him and waited while he read the short note. Tony wasn't sure if he should feel relief or not, but it was finally getting easier to breathe. He waved the card at Ziva and let her look.

Tony, I've made my choice. I need to be with someone I trust. Jeanne.

She looked up. "John?"

He nodded. "I hope so. She deserves a good man."

Ziva touched his cheek. "You are Tony."

Tony ignored her. "You ever lie to someone you care about Ziva?"

She took a moment to think about it. "Yes."

His brow furrowed. "They ever forgive you?"

Ziva forced herself to meet his eyes. "They never found out."

Her answer made Tony wonder who her person was. Ari? Her father? Gibbs? Him? The last option was the most unsettling, but now wasn't the time to dwell on it. He slid down to sit on the floor in front of the couch.

Ziva joined him slowly and folded her fingers together. "Did Jeanne's father tell her who you were?"

Tony shook his head, flashing back to their conversation after the explosion. "No, I did."

NCIS

Jeanne was nearly hyperventilating as Tony pulled her over to sit on a bench. "I don't understand what's happening. Tony, that was your car, your car that just...it could've been you. It should've been you."

He took her hand, forcing her to look at him. "But it wasn't Jeanne, and we're okay."

Her eyes flitted everywhere, trying to keep up with her racing thoughts. "Everything that's happened today, and last night, the way you handled things...the gun, the gun, firing it like you did." She shook her head. "It's like you're someone else, someone else, someone I don't know." Tony thought about how to say what needed to be said and the truth hit Jeanne like a slap in the face. She pulled her hand away. "You are, aren't you? Aren't you?! Someone else? Who? Who are you?"

Tony swallowed. "I'm a federal agent. My name isn't Tony DiNardo, it's Anthony DiNozzo. I work for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service."

Disbelief coloured her voice. "This has all been a lie."

He took a breath. "Jeanne, listen to me. Not all of it, not everything. This stopped being an assignment when I started to care, when I put less thought into my mission and more into how I could make sure you didn't get hurt."

Jeanne slid even further away. "Why? Just tell me why it is you do this, what I'm supposed to have done. Tell me."

Tony shook his head slowly. "It's not you." He looked past her at Rene, pacing back and forth with a cell phone held to his ear.

She frowned. "What? What?!"

Tony sat up straighter, trying to distance himself. "You should ask him." Jeanne made a move to leave but he stopped her. "I know you probably hate me right now, I wish you could believe that I was never trying to hurt you. I didn't want it to happen like this."

She crossed her arms. "Nice job."

"Hey," Tony tugged on her coat sleeve, "why do you think I wouldn't say 'I love you'? Why I wouldn't just have sex with you? I was trying to protect you, not use you. And I was glad when John came back into the picture because I wanted you to have someone when this was over." He shoved his fingers through his hair. "I came to the hospital last night to tell you everything because I couldn't handle the secret any more. Then things got crazy and I didn't get the chance. But I'm sorry Jeanne, none of this was your fault."

Jeanne stood and stared at him. "Tony...Anthony...whoever you are, I never want to see you again. Goodbye."

Tony slumped against the bench and sighed. Today wasn't turning out how he'd hoped. Unfortunately it never took long to completely screw everything up. It was the one thing he was good at.

NCIS

Once she reached the other side of the limo, Jeanne leaned back into a large tree and pulled out her cellphone, so thankful that John had the weekend off. She was in tears by the time he picked up and tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming. The sting of another betrayal, another lie, was not something she felt able to handle right now. "Hey Cat," he answered with the same joy in his tone always present for her these days.

Jeanne fought to make her voice sound normal. "John?"

He immediately went into cop mode, knowing something was not right. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "Can you come and get me? I need a ride." She couldn't trust Tony and Jeanne refused to think badly about her father, she just needed space from both of them for awhile.

John was already up and moving. "Where are you?"

She looked around. "The park on K Street. Please hurry."

His heart was practically beating out of his chest. "You need to answer me Cat, are you okay?"

Jeanne sniffed. "I'm not injured or in danger. But I need you."

"Fifteen minutes," John promised, wishing he could read between the lines as they hung up.

Rene finished his call and made his way over to his daughter, holding out his arm for her. Jeanne sank gratefully into his embrace and he kissed her hair. "I am so sorry pet, this is not how I saw today turning out."

She shook her head. "It's not your fault." Well, maybe it was, but Jeanne didn't want to know.

He cupped her cheek. "I have a pressing business matter that requires my attention. Will you come with me to the boat?"

Jeanne swiped her eyes. "Not this time. I have a friend coming to pick me up."

He frowned. "What friend?"

She looked away. "John," she told him quietly.

Rene's eyes flashed. "I thought I told him never to come near you again!" Perhaps he should've been more persuasive.

Jeanne put her hand on his arm. "He's changed Papa. He apologized and he's trying to make things right between us. John is a good man. And he's been working very hard to earn my trust again."

The father in him didn't want to believe it, but the man was a cop and he would keep her safe. "Very well. But I still do not like him."

She smiled. "Give him a chance. He may surprise you."

Rene squeezed her hand and held her close again. "You are my treasure Jeanne, and everything I did was for you. No matter what they tell you about me, remember that." He kissed her forehead. "I will wait in the car. We will not leave until he arrives."

Jeanne nodded and let him go. A few minutes later John's car screeched to a halt and he jumped out, looking for her, one hand on his gun just in case. The limo slowly backed away and Jeanne waited until they weren't facing her before she ran into John's waiting arms. Filled with relief at having someone who cared enough to come, Jeanne broke down crying again. Unsure of the source, John brushed back her hair and whispered to her, tightening the hug as if everything depended on him not letting go.

Finally she pulled away and he looked her over, needing to see for himself that she was unharmed. "What happened Cat? You really scared me."

She dug in her pockets for a kleenex and blew her nose. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't think and all I wanted was you."

John tipped her chin up and tried to grin. "That's what I like to hear, but can you tell me why?"

Jeanne looked away. "We broke up."

He frowned. "Why?"

Anger flared in her eyes and she wrapped her arms around herself. "He lied to me! He was using me, I was just the means to an end." She shook her head. "He wasn't the man I thought he was."

John's jaw clenched and he crossed his arms. "Want me to shoot him or rough him up a bit?"

That got him a glimmer of a smile. "Maybe later." Jeanne fixed her eyes on the man who was her first love. "Are you going to lie to me and use me like last time?"

John was deadly serious in an instant. "Not a chance." He'd learned his lesson the hard way.

Her lips trembled. "Are you going to hurt me again John? Because I really can't handle any more."

He took her hands. "No Cat, I won't. If I ever get a second chance, I'll do everything I can to keep you from getting hurt."

Jeanne nodded once. "I trust you. But," she held up her hand to stem the hope in his eyes, "I need you just to be my friend right now John. I have nothing left to give to a relationship and it may be...awhile before I'm ready to be that vulnerable again."

John lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. "If you know you can trust me, if you can think like we have a future, then I will wait as long as it takes, Jeanne Katerina Benoit."

She gave him a watery smile. "Thanks."

He brushed away one of her stray tears. "So, what now?"

Jeanne shrugged. "I don't know. Can we...go for a walk? Just hold my hand and tell me stories about your puppy for awhile, okay?"

John wrapped his fingers around hers. "Okay. I'll even take you out for ice cream later, and maybe we'll stop at my place on the way home and I'll let you spoil Rosie for an hour." He smiled. "It's amazing how much one cuddly ball of fur can lift your mood."

She leaned into him. "I'd like that."

He dropped a kiss on her hair and began to relate tales of Rosie playing tug of war with his socks, and falling into a pail in the basement one night, crying until he came to rescue her. She loved butterflies, thought squirrels were put there just for her to yap at and chase, and curled up at his feet every time he lay down no matter how many times he showed Rosie her bed in a corner of the kitchen. In short, adopting her was the best decision he'd made since fighting for Jeanne, and John knew that no matter what he was never going to let this woman go again. She was the one.

NCIS

When Tony got out of the limo at the gates of the Navy Yard, Rene leaned forward. "I thought you said you weren't going to break my daughter's heart."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I tried sir, I really tried. You'll never know how hard."

The man studied him a moment and nodded. "Goodbye Agent DiNozzo."

Ziva slid her arm through Tony's and leaned her chin on his shoulder. "I am sorry you had to do that."

He sighed and fingered the note. "I never wanted to be put in this situation Ziva. What I did to you and Jeanne...I'm sorry."

She put her hand over his, one finger lightly tracing the spot where his ring belonged. "I forgive you, but this was not your fault." Ziva placed both palms against his cheeks and stared deeply into his eyes. "I love you Agent DiNozzo, do not ever think differently."

Tony closed the distance between them and kissed her, seeking reassurance of her words and reaffirmation of their bond. Then he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her curls. "I love you Ziva," he murmured, feeling the stress begin to bleed away a tiny bit. "Please," Tony begged, tightening his grip, "please..." But he never got any further, so Ziva did the only thing she could do and held her husband while he beat himself up for an end that no matter how hard he tried, Tony hadn't been able to change.

NCIS

The next day was quiet, too quiet for Ziva's peace of mind. She closed her cellphone for the fourth time and sighed. McGee looked up. "No luck?"

She shrugged. "Not at home. And he has not replaced his cellphone yet."

Tim didn't seem concerned. "Maybe he took the day off."

Ziva gazed morosely at her partner's desk. That's exactly what she was afraid of. She'd woken up that morning to the absence of her husband and a note on his pillow stating that he needed some time alone. As much as Tony was their annoying and endearing class clown, he didn't bounce back from the tough stuff nearly as well as others believed. So now he was alone out there somewhere, walking or sitting but most likely going over every step of the last six months and trying to figure out if he could've done more, tried harder, handled things better. And she wanted so much more for him than that.

Friday passed slowly and Ziva drove home with a sinking feeling in her stomach. They were rarely out of contact for an entire day. The house was dark and empty as she'd feared and Ziva only lasted five minutes in the silence before sliding one of Tony's beloved movies into the player. In the kitchen she put extra care into cooking spaghetti with meatballs and homemade sauce and garlic bread with cheese. Then she set the table and waited...and waited...and waited.

Three movies and her own picked at plate later it was clear Tony wasn't returning yet, nor was he going to call and let her know he was alright. So Ziva put the meal in the fridge, left a note, took a shower and crawled into the cold, lonely bed all by herself. The scene was reminiscent of two nights ago when Tony was missing, and she didn't like the comparison at all.

A noise in the house woke her hours later and had her reaching for her gun before the sound of Tony's familiar footsteps reached her ears. Returning the weapon to beneath her pillow, Ziva lay still and waited. It seemed like ages passed as she listened to Tony quietly warming his plate and eating with a re-run of the game playing in the background. Then he checked all the doors and windows, force of habit, and partially undressed on his way to the bathroom. Ziva smiled at the gentle thump of the hamper lid and heard the water turn on. He spent a long time in the shower before finally flicking off the last few lights and coming to bed.

Tony climbed into bed and settled behind her, his arm falling lightly across her waist. They lay without moving or speaking, no sound in the room but their even breathing, until he leaned in and lifted the hair off her neck to kiss the skin. "I know you're awake Zi."

She tightened her grip on her pillow. "I am not."

He sighed and put his hand on her shoulder. "Not going to look at me?"

Ziva frowned and rolled over. "Would a phone call have been too much trouble?"

Tony swallowed. "I wasn't exactly near a method of communication. And by the time I stopped walking, I remembered I hadn't gotten a new cellphone." He shrugged. "I'm sorry if I worried you, I really just needed to spend some time alone today."

She searched his eyes in the darkness. "Did it help?"

Tony looked away. "I don't know. I broke Rule 10 Zi, I got involved, and I'm having a hard time shaking this one." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I tried to find her, to apologize one more time, but she's still not back at the apartment and the hospital said she's taking a few days off." He rubbed his face. "I hope she's with John, that she's okay. I just...she hates me, y'know? She has every right to, but I didn't want things to end this way."

Ziva blinked slowly. "How did you want it to end?"

Tony groaned and dropped his head to the pillow. "That's what I can't figure out. I wanted to get out without anyone getting hurt, but I managed to blow the whole thing so badly that everyone got hurt."

She brushed her fingers over his stubbled cheek, the first time she'd initiated touch since the conversation began. "Perhaps it is your own hurt and feelings that need to be dealt with."

His brow furrowed. "Mine?"

"Your anger at being used by Jenny in her own personal vendetta. Your frustration at everyone for not knowing and often making your job more difficult, the guilt you feel for lying to Jeanne and how your actions affected us and me. The stress you carried for six long months split between Gibbs and Jenny and me, juggling everything, trying not to drop any balls, and still keeping yourself afloat." She finally took a breath. "We are not the only ones who suffered Tony, the burden of this assignment has been on you for far too long."

Tony stared at her, uncomprehending, and shook his head. "I guess I never thought about it that way."

"It is time," Ziva said simply, fitting herself against his body, her arms going around him and one leg slipping snugly between his. "And I will do whatever you ask, be whatever you need, and help however I can. My love," she whispered, "you deserve nothing less."

Moisture gathered in Tony's eyes and he embraced her tightly, almost desperately. "Please Zi," he whispered thickly, "don't let go. Don't let go."

Ziva nestled her head in his neck and kissed his collarbone softly. She would never let go. Tony was her partner, her husband, her lover, her best friend. He was part of her and now that they'd found each other and promised forever, she never wanted to see another tomorrow that did not include him. So Ziva David clung to her husband that night, determined that if he was going to fall apart she would be right by his side to pick up the pieces. This was where they belonged.

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Lacey (4x24) - Thank you, I really appreciate that. It's always nice to know people are liking what I write. haha...definitely lots of drama coming up in 5x01, hopefully it will be worth it. Yes, MIT will have 1 part for each season from 4-9, after that we'll be heading into 'the rest of the story' which goes AU after the S9 finale. I'm looking forward to that. Well, then I thank you very much for the review and I'm glad to have you along for the ride :)

Sarah (4x24) - you're welcome :) I'm glad you liked it. If only the telling had gone according to T's plans, but life has a way of getting in the way. haha...glad you liked that line, T definitely reached the end of his patience there. lol, I had fun writing T's little post head trauma confusion, I thought it was cute. Yeah, it sucks even more that Z has no idea T didn't do this on purpose, I think she also is losing her battle with being patience and supportive. Thanks very much for the review!