Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or the song "California King Bed".

So I'm in an angsty mood, but being a firm believer in Happily Ever After this will end with joy and happiness :) Let me know what you think. This will be a two-shot, by the way.

Chest to chest
Nose to nose
Palm to palm
We were always just that close

"I'm going to be working late tonight," Derek told Penelope as they stood in the kitchen making coffee. "I've got a lot to do tonight."

Penelope bit her lip. "So does that mean you'll be missing Isabella's dance recital?" she snapped. "The one you've known about since last month." She was tired of Derek missing so much of their lives as a family. He'd already missed their son, Will's baseball game and now he was missing his daughter's dance she'd been so wanting him to come to.

Derek sighed. "Penelope, you know I would be there if I could," he said gruffly, pulling the coffee pot off the stand and pouring himself a travel mug. "But Hotch has me doing this –"

She cut him off. "You know what Derek? I don't want to hear it," she said coarsely. "If your freakin' job is more important to you than your children, you just be my guest and ignore them. They've gotten used to you not being around anyway."

He went to her side and tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she tensed up and he immediately dropped it to his side. "Baby –"

"Don't call me that," she said harshly.

His face turned hard and a ticking began in his jaw. "I'll see what I can do," he said. "If Hotch says I can, I'll be there."

"Daddy!" Their daughter Isabella came running into the kitchen with her Disney Princess backpack bouncing on her back. She ran towards her father and jumped into his waiting his arms.

"Hey Princess!" he said, moving away from his wife and kissing Isabella's cheek. "You ready to go to school?"

She nodded vigorously. "Ready and willing," she said giving him a salute. "Will's on his way down.," she added. "He'll be here any minute." As he put her down on her feet, she looked up at him. "Are you excited for my dance recital?"

Penelope tensed up at her daughter's question and she stared hardly at her husband. His own face turned scared and he responded, "Well, honey, I'm going to try really, really hard to be there. Your Uncle Hotch and I are working on a special project together." He watched as his daughter's eyes welled up with tears. He knelt down in front of her and murmured, "Oh, sweetheart, don't cry. I'm going to try so hard to be there. And I'll bring you flowers if I can. Some pretty daisies." He used his thumb to wipe away her tears.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Penelope stared at Derek hardly and tried hard not to cry for Isabella's sake. Her husband could be so wonderful with his children, but when it came to them as a couple, he was so far away it was like there was an unbearable gap between them. They made love like no tomorrow, but they weren't the same as they had been.

The worst part was that she was as in love with him as the day they'd met.

Wrist to wrist
Toe to toe
Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose
So how come when I reach out my finger
It seems like more than distance between us

Penelope sat down tiredly in her office and put her head in her hands after pushing the buttons to turn on her babies. She leaned backwards in her chair and closed her eyes for a moment savoring the quiet. After kissing her children goodbye and dropping them off at school, she'd come straight to work. When she'd arrived, Derek had barely looked up at her and it hurt more than she thought it would. So she'd gone to her office and barricaded herself in. A knock sounded and JJ entered the room. "Hey you," she murmured, sitting on the desktop next to Penelope. "You look really upset."

She sighed and wiped away some of her tears that had started rolling down her cheeks. "Oh, Derek's just being…Derek. He's started refusing to talk to me. The only time I really feel like we're connected is when we make love. But afterwards we just turn away from each other. We used to be so…close. And now he's just…" She started to weep harder.

JJ put her hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Oh, Garcie," she murmured sympathetically. "I'm so sorry. I'm guessing this isn't all?"

She nodded and sniffled. "He missed Will's baseball game and then he doesn't think he will be able to make it to." She paused to look up at JJ with her red eyes. "Jayje, do you think he's cheating on me? Do you think he's fallen in love with someone else?"

"Absolutely not!" JJ cried. "That man loves you and your children more than anything in the world. There's no way he is cheating on you. Plus, your sex life is still super consistent, right?"

Penelope nodded. "If anything it's been up at least ten percent," she murmured.

"He loves you," she said gently. "And I know it for a fact."

"JJ, I need to have him back," she wept. "I need him." She took a deep breath and added, "I'm pregnant again. I'm almost three months pregnant." Crying harder, she said, "And I can't do this alone."

XXXXX

So how come when I reach out my finger
It seems like more than distance between us

Penelope and Will were sitting in the audience with JJ and Emily beside them. They were all waiting for Isabella's dance recital to start. It was five minutes before the show was going to start and Derek still hadn't made it to the dance hall. Penelope was fuming. JJ took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I bet he'll show up," she said. "He wouldn't miss this for the world."

Somehow Penelope doubted it.

When the lights went down, her face turned from angry to proud as she watched her daughter dance out onto stage with the rest of her dance troupe. She looked adorable in her blue flouncy costume. She smiled brilliantly and for a moment forgot all about her absent husband.

XXXXX

Derek hurried out of his car and up towards the hall where his daughter was having her dance recital. Instead of obeying Strauss and staying to finish up work on their obsessional crimes presentation, he'd snuck out and drove at seventy miles an hour. He wanted nothing more than to see his daughter dance and he wanted to please Penelope. He hated how distant they'd been lately. Their love seemed to be fading as the days passed by and he couldn't stand it. The love he held for Penelope was still too strong and he feared to God he would lose her.

As he entered the hall, he opened the door quietly so he could see the performance on stage. Isabella was very clearly the star of the show. He smiled proudly as he watched her dance across the stage. She was so like her mother. From farther down the aisle he saw Penelope watching along with their son and JJ and Emily. Her face was illuminated by the lights and she looked absolutely beautiful with the proud smile on her face. His heart broke to think how they were so separate at that moment.

When the recital had finished, Derek clapped louder than the rest of the parents and he let out a whistle. He looked to see if Penelope had noticed; she hadn't even turned back to look.

XXXXX

Later that night, after Derek had kissed his children goodnight and read them stories, he went to the living room where Penelope was folding laundry. She looked up to find him watching her and she put her hands on her hips. "Now what?" she said hardly. "Why are you staring at me?"

He sighed. "Penelope, I was at that dance recital. I brought our daughter flowers and I was so proud of her. What more do you want me to do?"

She threw the t-shirt she was folding onto the pile and glared at him. "It could be that you're never home! You rarely make it to spend time with the kids and you don't seem interested in doing anything with me except fucking me!"

He winced. "Penelope," he said, bowing his head. "We're so –"

"We're so what?" she cried and put her hands on her hips. "Distant? Do you want a divorce, because let me tell you something Derek…if you want one, I'll give it to you." None of her words were true, but her feelings were getting in the way of her rational thought. "Gladly! I'll give it to you if you don't love me anymore –"

Before she could continue, he was across the room and clutching her in his arm, kissing her fiercely. She couldn't stop herself from responding; the kiss was so good and Derek tasted wonderfully…Derek. When he pulled away, he murmured huskily, "Don't you ever think that I don't love you. Because I do! You and our children are the most important things in my life. So don't doubt my love for you. I cannot and will not lose you! Do you hear me?"

A moment of silence covered them and the she grabbed his face to kiss him strongly.

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak