Disclaimer: I do not own the institution or trade mark of Transformers.

Morning Assault

Thunk!

Something had landed on the Weapon Specialists' windscreen, bounced off, and landed on the gravel driveway next to his front wheel. Ironhide reversed slightly to glance at the assaulting object before grumbling to himself. The hit didn't hurt him, didn't leave a dent, or a scratch, but it was something that was just starting to grind his gears.

This had been quite an annoying daily routine ever since he took up his role as the Lennox's family guardian only a few weeks ago.

Ironhide would be in a deep, relaxing recharge until this mysterious event would occur. It was at seven o'clock when the dreaded object would attack him. He was beginning to suspect there was a Decepticon in the area, perhaps one of those little drone bots seeking to make a nuisance of themselves. However, Ironhide hadn't detected any Decepticon signature within a five mile radius.

As he reversed on his wheels, he glanced down at the object. It was made of that strange material many men at the military base at Diego Garcia would carry around. He remembered his charge, Major William Lennox, called it paper. However, this paper was different, it was much larger, and an elastic band kept it rolled up. Ironhide noticed over the weeks that this particular paper had the current date and different sized print on it.

Hearing a screen door creak open, Ironhide could feel the footsteps of the Major coming towards him. This was a part of the routine, the Major or his femme, Sarah, would come out, collect this strange paper, and head back inside.

"G'mornin' Ironhide." The Major mumbled groggily. It was obvious to the veteran Autobot that his charge had just recently come out of his own form of recharge called sleep.

"Good morning, Will." Ironhide struggled to call him by his name. He was so used to addressing him as 'Major Lennox' at the base, he learned from multiple scolding from his charge, that when he was 'off duty', he was to be called Will.

"Will, may I ask a question?" Ironhide grunted through his speakers to the Major as the truck observed him pick up the paper and take the elastic band off it.

"Mm?" Will's eyes arched and he looked over to Ironhide.

"Why am I attacked by that paper every morning?"

"Wha…? Attacked?" Will chuckled lightly, trying to assess the seriousness of Ironhides' question.

"I awake from recharge to have that… thing hit me. It's happened every morning ever since I got here. I am beginning to suspect Decepticon activity." Ironhide growled out the last sentence, if there was such activity occurring, Ironhide would get to the bottom of it and eliminate any Decepticon who'd dare attackhim with a paper every morning!

Will mulled over in his head what the old Autobot was trying to say. Why would he be attacked by the paper? Exactly how could the morning paper attack him anyway? It's just sitting there on the ground! Unless… unless… Will made a glance across the road; he and his family lived on a secluded property, but many bikers loved to use the road for their morning rides. Just as Will watched three people ride past the house on their bikes, realization dawned on him, and he let out a whole-hearted laugh.

"I do not see the comical side of this, Will." Ironhide grumbled again.

"Don't worry 'Hide. It's just the paper boy." Will pat the hood of the GMC Topkick, he hadn't been outside the base that long, it will take a while for Ironhide to get used to life outside the base. Often he would drive Sarah into town so she could go shopping, but even then the veteran would sometimes annoy her with trivial questions about civilian life, the old bot had much to learn.

"Paper boy?" So… a human child was behind this routine attack?

"Yea, the paper boy. He comes here every morning and delivers the paper… they kind of um," Will let out a nervous laugh "make it a game of theirs to see if they can hit the cars in the driveway."

Ironhide's engine revved slightly and Will stepped back, startled.

"I will not be subjected to a child's cruel game!"

"Hey, easy big guy! If it bugs you that much you can sleep-"

"Recharge." Ironhide interrupted.

"-recharge… out back behind the house."

Now, why didn't Ironhide think of that? He thought it was customary as well as his duty as the family's primary mode of transport or the 'family car' as the young Sam Witwicky called it, to sit in the front driveway at all times. A soft hissing noise was heard as Ironhide settled on his wheels.

There was a long moment of silence.

Will glanced at the truck nervously, he could tell the Autobot was thinking… exactly what he was thinking about, the Major had no idea, but usually when this trigger happy bucket of bolts thought of anything, it involved blowing something up.

Or maybe Will was just being paranoid?

"No Will, it's alright." Ironhide said suddenly.

"Alright big guy... I'll see you later; we have to go to the base at eleven." With that said, Will made one more glance to the truck and headed inside with the infernal paper.

The next morning, Will and Sarah woke to several loud BOOMs and a shrill, girlish scream outside their house. Panic stricken, Sarah had raced to Annabelle's room where she soothed her eight month old daughter and tried to rock her back to sleep. Sarah headed to the window, and looked outside- her eyes widened.

Meanwhile, Will had rushed outside with his hand gun, his army and NEST instincts told him that loud BOOMs indicated Decepticon attack. However, as the Major reached the front porch, he swore before running onto the driveway to see Ironhide in his bi-pedal form with his cannons on his arms hissing and whirling. Will immediately panicked, what if someone saw him?

"IRONHIDE!" Will called up to the old Autobot, who turned and glanced down at him.

"What… what have you done? Jesus! Look at the road!" Will ran to the Autobots' side. Sure enough, the road had several scorch marks on the road; it was as if… as if a giant robot with cannons on his arms was shooting at something moving. Will looked down the road; he could see a boy on a bike pedaling as fast as he can away from the house. Ironhide looked down at his charge.

"Problem terminated. I will no longer be attacked by this paper of yours." Ironhide sounded… proud of himself. With that, the veteran headed out back to his shooting range, leaving a bewildered Will and a horrified Sarah staring at the now battle worn road.

Since then, there had been no more papers delivered to the Lennox residence.

R&R!