Roxas the Nobody: Ice Cream Mountain

Parody of Charlie the Unicorn.

Please note that I don't own either of these. Enjoy!

It was a peaceful and calm afternoon. The sun was out, a light breeze swished around the tips of the short cut green grass and Roxas was found lying down in the green blanket. The wind slightly blew his blonde haired spikes around and he closed his eyes. Oh how he loved days like this where he could just relax away from the castle and not worry about any missions.

The peacefulness of being alone, no Axel to bug him just sweet-

"Hey Roxas, hey Roxas wake, up." Spoke a drawn out, soft yet high pitched voice which interrupted the blonde's thoughts. He fluttered his eyes open and saw the two forms of his friends; one was a tall thin man with thick, shoulder length red hair that was slicked back into long spikes. And the other had dirty blonde hair that was shaped into the style of a mullet with long, thin bangs that fell over his face. The first was Axel, the second was Demyx.

"Yeah Roxas, you silly sleepy head wake up." The one with the mullet spoke with the same drawn out tone. The two stood side by side and were bent over so their heads were close to the younger teens face and stared glassy eyed into Roxas' big cerulean eyes. Narrowing his eyebrows, the spiky haired teen sat up.

Why were they even talking like this? They probably drank one of Vexen's potions again, they could be so stupid sometimes.

"Ugh, oh Kingdom Hearts, you guys…This better be important." Roxas spoke in a breathy voice while sighing in annoyance, "Did Vexen's lab explode again?" He then asked tonelessly.

"No Roxas," the mullet haired young man began to speak by drawing out the 'o' in no, "We found a map to Ice cream Mountain, Ice cream Mountain Roxas." He finished in a high pitched and soft tone while drawing out his name.

Roxas stared at the two with a glazed expression and a heavy sigh.

"Yeah Roxas," The red haired man began to speak in the usual creepy and drawn out tone, "We're going to Ice Cream Mountain, come with us, Roxas." He stared expectantly into the cerulean boys' eyes.

Demyx then began to speak up, "Yeah Roxas, it will be an adventure; we're going on an adventure Roxas!" He spoke in his soft grating tone.

With another heavy sigh Roxas lay back down on his back and folded his hands over his stomach, "Yeah, Ice cream Mountain, right." He said uninterested as if brushing off the words, "I'm just gonna, you know, take a nap now." He finished with a slight yawn.

The two friends standing, looked at each other then back at Roxas as if agreeing on something, "No Roxas," Demyx began as he drew out his name, "You have to come with us to Ice cream Mountain."

Axel then nodded his head and spoke in the girlish way he had been and then began to poke Roxas in his side, "Yeah Roxas, Ice cream Mountain. It's a land of sweets and joy…" He trailed off, staring in the woods in front of him, "And joyness." He finished.

The spiky haired teen groaned and mumbled through gritted teeth, "Please stop poking me."

"Ice cream Mountain Roxas." Demyx repeated pleadingly.

Axel nodded in agreement and then said, "Yeah, Ice Cream Mountain!"

With another groan Roxas began to sit up again, "Alright fine," He sighed and paused, "I'll go with you to Ice cream Mountain."

The three were now walking through a forest that was shadowed by trees and only small patches of sunlight hit the crispy leaf covered ground.

Demyx and Axel happened to be skipping ahead and Roxas was trailing sluggishly behind.

"La, la, la, la, la, la la, la, la!" The two sang as they skipped with big ear to ear grins.

With a heavy sigh Roxas spoke sternly, "Enough of that singing already."

Demyx suddenly halted in place along with Axel and quickly pointed to a large, flat boulder which sat up on a small hill on their left and ran up to it while Roxas dragged behind.

"Our first stop is right here Roxas." Demyx stated as he didn't blink while staring at the animal that was lying on top of the builder.

"Oh Kingdom Hearts, what is that?" Roxas asked tremulously as he stared at the creature while taking a step back in fear.

It looked as if a seal and an alligator had been combined into one animal. It had the seals body, but the long snout of an alligator, along with the teeth. The pattern of the seals skin was tiger.

Demyx continued to stare dreamily into the tiny black eyes of the creature and said calmly, "It's a Leopleuradon, Roxas."

"A magical Leoplueradon." Axel added while also staring at the creature dreamily.

"It's gonna guide our way to Ice cream Mountain!" Demyx chirped while jumping in place.

While regaining the normalcy of the creature, Roxas took a step forward and was now standing in between the two friends, "Alright guys," He started, "You do know there is no Ice Cream Mountain, right?" He asked. Surely they weren't this drowned in their fantasies.

The two friends looked a bit taken back in surprise, "Shun the non-believer!" Demyx exclaimed in his girlish voice while stepping back and extending his arm out and pointing a finger at him.

"Shun!" Axel repeated while also doing the same thing.

"Shun!" Demyx repeated in the same tone.

"Yeah…" Roxas spoke with a sigh in a glazed expression.

Suddenly the creature opened its mouth and began to screech very loudly and long, making Roxas step back in fear again.

Demyx gasped slightly, "It has spoken!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"It told us the way!" Axel added while drawing out the word 'way'.

The two then began to skip off, deeper into the forest.

Roxas crossed his arms with a heavy sigh, "It didn't say anything." He assured them sternly.

The three were now walking on a bridge. Not any typical normal bridge that's wide and sturdy built, no, this was one of those rope bridges that were attached from one edge of cliff from another with weak and creaky wooden boards to walk on.

"It's just over this bridge Roxas." Demyx stated as he slowly took a few steps forward while the bridge swayed form side to side in the wind.

"This is the magical bridge of hope and wonder!" The red haired man shouted while throwing his hands up in the air for effect.

Roxas winced and bent his knee and lifted his foot to see the bottom of his shoe, "Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters? Seriously." He asked as he plucked a thin and long splinter off his shoe.

Demyx suddenly froze and turned around to face Roxas. He stared wide eyed into the teens cerulean eyes as if possessed. "Roxas…" He said very slowly and girlish, "Roxas….Roxas…..Ro-"

"I'm right here, whaddya want?" The spiky haired teen interrupted rudely with a sigh.

"We're on a bridge Roxas, we're here." He replied while turning back around and pointing into the distance in front of him. He then ran towards the end of the bridge along with Axel, making the structure sway rigorously back and forth.

Roxas gripped the rope railings tightly for his no- life and waited for the bridge to stop moving after they had gotten off.

He took small baby steps while not even once letting go of the railings. After about a minute or so he had stepped onto land.

"Well, whaddya know. There actually is an Ice Cream Mountain." Roxas stated witheringly while staring at a large mound that was about two times his height. The mound was made out of ice cream tubs stacked together with all different shaped and sized containers to make the shape of a mountain. It had an opening like a cave, why wasn't it called Ice Cream cave?

Demyx's mouth hung open and drool started pouring out of his mouth, "Ice cream Mountain, Ice Cream Mountain, "He spoke dazed as if worshiping it. He then began to twirl around like a ballerina and began to sing, "You fill me with sweet, sugary goodness!"

"Go inside the Ice Cream Mountain Roxas." Axel demanded in his girlish voice while giving Roxas a nudge in the side with his elbow.

The mullet haired teen suddenly stopped twirling around, "Yeah Roxas," He started while gesturing a hand towards the said Nobody, "Go inside the cave. Magical wonders will behold you when you enter."

Roxas rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here." He replied sternly while crossing his arms.

Axel raised a finger in the air and his eyes grew wide with concern, "But you have to enter Ice Cream Mountain Roxas."

Suddenly an upbeat tune with trumpets occurred and five crunchy cones topped with different colored ice creams jumped out of the cave entrance and stood in front of the three and began to bounce in place with the rhythm and swayed their thin black arms around.

Axel and Demyx began to smile widely and Roxas looked a bit disgusted while raising an eyebrow at the living ice cream.

"Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up,
Then just head right on up to the Ice Cream mountain cave,
When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land,
Such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land!" A strawberry one started to sing fast and jump on top of the mountain as it was doing so. Axel and Demyx swayed with the beat with cheery grins.

Roxas' eye twitched at the sight of the Ice Cream singing, and suddenly a rainbow flashed across the sky and Axel's and Demyx's feet lifted off the ground and they started flying around in the air like astronauts in space.

"They've got Chocolate Chip and Peppermint Stick and Ice Cream things,
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day!
It's impossible to wear a frown in Ice Cream town!
It's the mecca of love, the Ice Cream cave.
They've got Strawberry and Tea Berry with little eyes!"

Roxas continued to stare dumbstruck and the dancing Ice Creams as his eye still twitched in disgust.

"Ice Cream dyes, chocolate flies, it's a wonderland of sweets,
Ride the Ice Cream train to town and hear the Ice Cream band!
Ice Cream bells, it's a treat as they march across the land,
Hot Fudge ribbons stream across the sky and to the ground!
Turn around, it astounds, it's a dancing Ice Cream tree,
In the Ice Cream cave imagination runs so free!
So now Roxas please will you go into the cave?"

All five ice creams then gathered together in the sky like a magnet and burst into flames with a loud BOOM and Axel and Demyx returned to the ground beside Roxas as if nothing happened.

The spiky haired teen narrowed his eyebrows with a huff and said with conviction, "Alright fine, I'll go into the freaking Ice Cream cave." He took a step forward and sighed, "This better be good."

Roxas was now in the dark space. It wasn't at all like the Ice Cream cones said, nothing bright and cheery was there, just a regular and perfectly normal cave.

Both his friends stared to giggle which bounced off the walls of the cave, making an echo.

"Goodbye Roxas!" Demyx suddenly announced in his high pitched girlish tone.

"Yeah, good bye Roxas!" His other friend Axel had said also.

Roxas quickly turned around and the cave's mouth closed like an elevator door and now it was pitch black.

"Goodbye? What?" He inquired rather loudly and nervously as his voice echoed, "Hey! What's going on here?"

There was no response and suddenly a tympanic rhythm of steps was heard and the spiky haired teen pushed his back up against the wall, hoping to stay hidden.

"Who's there?" He asked abruptly.

Unexpectedly, a raging strike slammed against his head and he fell face first onto the stone cold ground.

It was comfy, the soft bed, the warm blankets the… Birds chirping? Roxas fluttered his eyes open and realized that he wasn't in bed. He was back outside. The sun was beaming down on his back and the grass was just so comfy.

"Oh Kingdom Hearts," He stared as he held his head to wear the throbbing pain was. Suddenly a stinging pain burst from the left side of his back and he groaned trying to hide the tears, "Oh great, they stole my freaking kidney."

A scar was there to prove it also. Those dang friends, why did he always end up listening to them anyway?

End; Did you like my parody?

Leoplueradon is pronounced (Lee-oh-plur-a-don)