The Epitome of Eccentricity

presents to you

the story of a young boy named

"Naruto"

You see, there was once a lonely little boy who lived in the great village that was hidden in plain sight among many trees and leaves. It was called the Hidden Leaf Village. This boy was so very lonely living all alone in his lonely village in his lonely apartment. In fact, you could even say he was very lonely, such was his loneliness. He was just that lonely.

Indeed, the boy was lonely. He had no friends, no family, nothing. It was pretty sad, really. Why didn't anyone care about this lonely, lonely boy? Was it because of his blonde, spiky hair? Was it because of the three lines on each cheek that looked like horribly drawn whiskers? Was it because he was so short? Or even, perhaps it was because of the demon that was sealed in his gut that had rampaged through the nice village city thing a few years earlier when the poor kid was born?

Actually, it was just because his eyes were blue and his hair was blonde. You see, Konohagakure was a pretty racist place. They hated other villages with a passion, and preached that they were supreme. Blonde hair and blue eyes was a Kumogakure thing, you see. That was the true reason Naruto was so isolated and lonely- his eyes and hair. No one even cared about the Nine Tailed Fox anymore. That, and the Uzumaki clan wasn't even from Konoha. So not only did he look like he was from Kumo, but his last name was obviously not from Konoha either. Thus, everyone hated him.

So what was the poor, lonely boy to do about this? He declared he was going to become the Hokage, that's what. Of course, seeing how everyone hated him, that'd be a pretty hard goal to achieve. So, because of all that, the villagers just killed him. He was only one boy out of thousands within the village. No one even noticed his body hidden in the sewers.

Thus ended the life of Uzumaki Naruto. He died at the tender age of 8, simply because he looked different from everyone else. After his death, the Yamanaka clan soon followed, the villagers lynching them due to their Kumogakure-esque looks. No one likes Kumo, after all. At least, no one from Konoha does. So take this lesson to heart, boys and girls- don't go to Konoha looking like a foreigner... You'll just end up dead.

The End