I know, I haven't updated in three months. Long story short lost my cat who was sicker than we thought and had to put her down which was very sad and unexpected, stuff going on with one of my friends, and having stuff to do when i'm not working. I give up.
Disclaimer: I do not own HSM.

Chapter Seventy-Four

Grief is a funny thing. It affects people in different ways and no one ever knows what to expect from it. Sometimes it can throw people into a spiral of depression. Some people could have their appetites affected. Others could go into denial and try to act like nothing changed. People could try to remember the ones they lost and think positively about them. Grief was something that completely depended on the person and how close they were to the one they lost.

Chad was someone who didn't feel a lot of grief in his life. He had been to only a couple of funerals in his life, though they were when he was very young. The death of Chastity was the first major loss he ever experienced. And it was definitely taking its toll on him. In a little over two weeks Chad didn't laugh. He barely ate. He felt no motivation to do anything. It was like he was a completely different person.

It wasn't like he could be blamed, of course. Between finding out what caused Chastity's death and actually experiencing it, the Danforth parents hadn't quite been themselves either. Chad had no idea how Beth was handling it; he vaguely recalled her dealing with her ex and his new twins, so she was juggling more than anyone else put together. Avery, for one reason or another, was sticking around the house. She kept herself scarce but Chad knew she was there; he could hear her loud snoring every night. But Chad was in a huge slump. He barely talked to Taylor, or anyone for that matter. He stayed in his room most of the time. Truth be told, he didn't even go to work. He was sure he got calls from Grayson asking where the heck he was or when he'd be coming back, but Chad couldn't bring himself to answer. As much as he knew he should surround himself with people he cared about to help him get through this, some days he just really wanted to be on his own. But as much as everyone else may have understood that – some more than others, of course – there was still one person who refused to accept it.

"Dude, answer your stinking phone already!"

It was the ninth call Chad got from Troy that day. Troy was leaving messages for Chad left and right trying to get him to talk. Most times Chad just let it go to voicemail. Honestly, he couldn't remember if he even returned one of Troy's calls. But now Chad was just getting sick of it. If finally calling Troy back would be the way to shut him up, then so be it.

"Dude what the hell?" Chad questioned as soon as Troy answered.

"Man, if I could slap you wirelessly I would!" Troy insisted.

"Can't I just be left alone?" Chad continued.

"No Chad, you can't," he responded. "Maybe everyone else is just fine with giving you your space but I'm not. Don't think I don't know what you're doing, cause I do."

"Ok, Troy, if you think you're so smart then tell me. What did I do today?" Chad questioned.

"Nothing!" Troy yelled exasperated. "I bet you haven't done a thing since the funeral. I saw you, man. That was the lowest I ever saw you. And it sucks. I get it. But you gotta move on."

"Talk to me when you understand," Chad decided. He was about to hang up when Troy caught his attention again.

"Bastard."

Chad scoffed. Troy wasn't a naturally mean person. He didn't curse people out; when he did curse it was usually for a good reason. Troy was one of the most supportive, open-minded people a guy could ask for in a friend. But when he let that insult leave his mouth, Chad actually had to take a minute to figure out how to respond. It was one thing to hear someone curse. It was another thing to be cursed at. Especially by a best friend.

"What?"

At first Troy's typical reaction kicked in. He realized what he said and how it must have hurt Chad. "Sorry man. I didn't mean that." Then he paused. Troy was taking the time to realize he said it for a reason. No one wanted to curse their best friend out. And Troy of all people wouldn't be doing it unless something needed to be said. "No, you know what? I do mean that. You are being a bastard and a shithead and an idiot…"

"Dude do you even know what you're saying?" Chad asked.

Troy groaned. "Can I just…?"

"Fine," Chad groaned even though he knew he was going to regret it.

"You're cutting yourself out of the world, Chad. You lost one person. One person. Did you even stop to think how many people you do have left around you? Cause the Chad I know would be thankful to have all those people around him and move on with his life. He wouldn't be the dick that you're being right now," Troy replied.

"You don't have me figured out," Chad shook his head.

"But I saw you. You were a wreck. Tell me you're not still a wreck," he said.

Chad refused to answer.

"Yeah. Thought so," Troy said.

"Are we done?" Chad wanted to finish this as soon as possible and go back to doing nothing.

Troy didn't answer. Instead he took a different approach. "How did you feel when we were working at Lava Springs?"

Chad shook his head. "Hoops we are not sharing feelings."

"Fine then. What were you thinking when we were working at Lava Springs?" he clarified.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he shrugged his shoulders.

"Just answer the question," Troy sighed.

Chad rolled his eyes. "You let one thing change you. You weren't acting like Troy anymore, you were just another stuck-up country club person."

"Exactly," Troy said. "And right now you're doing the same thing. You're letting one thing change you and you're not Chad anymore. Listen, I'm sorry about what happened that summer. I still am sorry. And I tried really hard to remember not to let one thing change me. I lost my friends once. I'm not letting it happen again. And that goes for you, too."

Troy's heart was in the right place. And he may have been doing everything he could to relate to Chad, one way or another. It was the kind of thing only a best friend would do. Troy was contacting Chad non-stop every chance he got to try and talk some sense into his friend. No, it didn't mean he was saying all the right things and it didn't mean he could completely understand how Chad felt. All Troy knew was that his best friend was hurting and he had to say and do something. Anything. He didn't care how long it took or what Chad would say or do. It was just something Troy had to do for his best friend. Unfortunately, Chad didn't want any part of it.

"I'm done with this," Chad decided.

"So you really don't wanna talk to your bro," Troy observed.

"No, Hoops. I just wanna be on my own," Chad answered.

"What about Taylor?" he asked.

There it was. Troy pulling out the big guns. If he couldn't get Chad to open up to him somehow, to try and remotely be Chad again, then the only other person to do that was Taylor. Whether it meant talking to her or talking about her, she was one of the most important people in Chad's life. And in knowing that, Troy must have also known that Chad would never want to disappoint her or hurt her. He was going to make Chad realize that and open up to one of them, somehow.

"What about her?" Chad asked hesitantly.

"When was the last time you talked to her?" Troy asked.

Chad shrugged his shoulders. "She came by for an hour yesterday."

"But did you talk to her?" Troy repeated.

Chad refused to answer.

"Chad. Did you talk to her or didn't you?" Troy asked one more time.

"She put you up to this, didn't she?" he replied.

"Not just her," Troy shook his head. "Do you think I like seeing you like this either? That anyone likes seeing you like this? And if you're like this after two weeks then what are you gonna be like next week? Or in a month? Or three months? We are worried about you, Chad. Don't you get that?"

"I get it," he mumbled stubbornly.

"Then make us stop worrying," Troy said. "Go back to work. Go figure out when to be at Lava Springs. Play some video games. Babysit. Rob a bank if you have to. Just don't be like this. Please. Cause it hurts you and it hurts us."

Chad tried to hide a chuckle. "Rob a bank? Seriously, that's what you want?"

"If it'll help you get past this then…then yeah," Troy nodded. "At least then we'll know that you're doing something."

"How am I supposed to do anything now?" Chad replied.

"Honestly? You just do," Troy said. "I'm not there to know what's going on. But what I do know is you can't go on like this. You have to go to work. You have to live your life. Isn't that what Chastity would want?"

Chad was about to answer when the front door opened. He was going to say that he sort of didn't care what Chastity wanted. Or that he wanted to hear what she would have wanted. He just wanted his sister. And that was something that was never going to happen. Chad was going to have to live with that forever. But when the door opened and Taylor walked in with Red, Chad had a change of heart. He would have been just fine leaving the conversation the way it was. He would have been ok with just Taylor walking through the door and they could continue with how everything was going. But it wasn't happening and it wasn't what Chad wanted. It pissed him off.

"No, Hoops, that's not what she wants. She wants to drive me crazy, that's what she wants!"

This was a different chapter to write. It wasn't like writing normal interactions between Troy and Chad. When i first wrote this, there were a few things wrong with it so naturally after the crap in my own life i had to teak it. That resulted in it becoming a pretty short chapter. Ok, a very short chapter. Here's the thing, though - it's extremely difficult to talk to people so soon after the fact. On both ends. It's so easy to shut yourself out and tune everyone and everything out and just mope and mourn and everything. And yeah, of course no one's gonna wanna go back to work or school or wherever right after the fact. But it's also hard for people on the other end, which took me some time to figure out. No matter how much time passes, it's still hard for people on both ends, especially when there's a reminder of how bad things are or someone feels. But in the very beginning, the people who don't experience it for themselves, who are indirectly if not barely affected at all, have no idea what to do or say. And in reading this again, i think i figured it out. Yeah, Troy's mad at his best friend for tuning him and everyone else out - especially during a time where he needs them the most. But i think Troy's also mad at himself for not being able to be there or doing more. Because the truth of the matter is, Troy has his own life. He lives in another state with a full time job (possibly pretty demanding at that) and about to start his own family. He has himself to think and worry about, as well as Gabriella. He's got his own things. It's hard for him to be there for Chad the way he wants to be. So all Troy can do at this point is call and call and call until Chad answers. And even if he's not saying the right things, even if he can't possibly relate to what Chad's going through, he's trying. That's all he can do and that's all anyone can do. Whether or not it continues is completely dependent on Troy's schedule and what goes on in each of their lives. But at the end of the day, right in that moment, Troy means well. And he's doing exactly what people should do which is reach out. Because this is the time when Chad needs support the most. And in the meantime, while Troy was doing this, Taylor was doing her own thing to help out Chad, as you'll see in the next chapter. When that will be up specifically, i don't know. I'm done making promises that i'll update as soon as possible when chizz keeps happening and i can't do anything to control any of it. And, in all honesty, no matter what time of the year it is there's still gonna be times where instead of writing or being productive with something i'd rather just binge watch something online. But for those of you who still follow and read when i do update, thank you very much for doing it. Thank you for putting up with me, for reading my sporadic updates and just enjoying the story. Because it always means something to me. Happy pre-holidays everyone!