*Disclaimer, I don't own any of the characters or the story, this is just me writing fanfiction with no ill intent.*

I make no excuses for the profanities (here in Australia, it's part of the language), you all know this is rated M (should be R) and so of course there will be swearing and sex, probably even kinkier shit knowing me.

Happy reading!

GrangerDanger03

(Renesmee's POV)

Ugh. It's getting harder and harder to ignore Jacob, he struts around all day in nothing but very low-slung cut-off shorts and no shirt on. NO SHIRT WHATSOEVER. I know he's got the wolf genes going on, the hotter body temperature than practically anyone else on the planet, but is it too much to ask for a shirt?! Fucking teenage hormones.

As of now, my body is at that stupid teenage stage where I look about 17-18. Don't get me wrong, I like this body very much... just with all these hormones whizzing about telling me to drool over a certain wolf boy, then pounce him, lick him all over and then get freaky with him... it's kind of hard to resist. You can't blame me! He's half naked almost always, has the body of sex-god (oh yeah, you look at him and just know he'd be amazing in bed), hangs around me all the time, and worst of all? He's a huge fucking tease. First the half-naked-ness, second he has these kind of lapses... he's all best friend-y and trying to kill my character in COD, then the next he says some teasing comment, and what next? He backs off and leaves me hanging there! The nerve! I just wish I could give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Yo, Ren!" Jacob calls from below my window (Second story corner bedroom, used to be my dad's before the remodelling. Basically it's now an awesome size with walk in closet and a little balcony that stretches close to the forest line. The best part? I can sneak out any time I want without anyone noticing).

I clamber off my bed, quickly stash away my sketchbook and open up my door before walking onto the little balcony.

"Jacobiah, how delightful to see you, care for a spot of tea and cucumber sandwich?" I say, complete with an excellent high-class English accent.

"Woo-eh! Look what we got 'ere! Sure do look fine little lady, mind if we change that to a possum-burger? Mah tummy's got the grumblies!" His comical Southern accent making me double over in a fit of giggles.

"Jacob, you know you can just jump up here and come in whenever you please" leaning over the balcony, I let my long copper hair drape over one shoulder.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that? Plus I might catch you naked one day" he says with a wink.

I try my best to hide my blush, I swear he knows that he's making me all flustered.

"Well then get your furry-butt up here before I start stripping!" I hop up off the railing and try my best to sway my hips and walk away sexy. 'Walk, walk, swish those hips, think catwalk model meets pornstar', I tell myself.

A thud echoes around the room before Jacob runs up to me and tackle-hugs me.
"Oof! Jaaaaake, why do you do that? Can't you ever be a bit softer, I actually bruise you know!" he chuckles quietly, and I swear I melt a little bit inside. Aaand, I'm feeling like Jello. Yaaaay.

"I thought you liked my squish-er-iffic hugs?" He spins me to face him, and I am faced with his version of the puppy-dog pout. It's a strange thing, as he is ridiculously attractive mixed with pouting.. not like Zoolander 'Blue Steel' pout or anything... it's just weird.

I sigh, before hugging him as best I can (the dude is huge, and ripped!) "Fine. I do like them. Just maybe a bit less impact, more hugging? You know as well as I do dad freaks out at the slightest bruise and starts accusing you of 'being a Chris Brown'." I say with air-quotes. "I don't want to have to get Emmett to hold him back again."

"Shit, I know what you mean. I thought he was gonna tear my head off! When your dad gets worried, he goes fucking beserk!" He fake-shivvers and hugs me even tighter. Mmmm, this is the part I always like. The close cuddling and hugging when he's pressed up against me. Holding me close to him, warming me with his body temperature, this was the life.

"Enough about mister angry-pants, I do believe it is time for our Friday night game and tacky movie. Anything fancy your inner virgin?" I say as I skip over to my games collection and start rifling through the various titles and consoles.

"How tacky is tonight's movie? Are we talking Lesbian Vampire Killers or worse?" He helps me sift through games and plucks Project Gotham Racing from my Xbox section.

"Much worse, we're going back to the day before Superman... Italian Comic inspired 'Danger Diabolik'! We're talking rubber suits, polaroids and some of the funniest car chases and suits you'll ever see." I grin somewhat wickedly before hopping over to my flat-screen setup (Xbox 360, Play Station 3, N64, Gamecube, Sega and many more old consoles saved from thrift store bins) and pop the disk in the Xbox 360, taking advantage of it's DVD player function.

A soft knock at the door tells me it's Nana Esme with her usual bowl of buttered popcorn, hot dogs and chocolate chip pancakes. I quickly whip open the door so she can come in and pop all the food on the little kotatsu* table. She leans in and gives me a quick kiss on the head.

*(Kotatsu is a Japanese low table that has a heater underneath it and a large duvet coming out from it. In winter this is amazing and toasty warm for your legs)*

"Got you covered hun", She says as she kisses my forehead.

"Thanks Nana".

"Thanks Nana Esme!" Jacob booms from in front of the TV.

She quickly zooms out the room, shutting the door on her way.

Jacob flops onto the beanbag couch, remote in hand like a typical guy and one arm up resting along the back of the couch. He pats it quietly, signalling me to join him. I slide my goosebump-riddled legs under the kotatsu blanket and munch on a handful of popcorn as the movie starts.

"So, what exactly is the point of this film?" Jacob mumbles through mouthfuls of popcorn.

"It's based off an old comic book series from Italy that follows the evil guy and his hilarious plans."

"Where the fuck do you find these movies?!" Jacob, turns to me pulling one eyebrow up while he continues to shovel the popcorn in his mouth like his life depends on it.

"Internet, duh!" I quip as I flick him on the forehead.

he pulls a pouty face (still munching) and rubs the spot I flicked.

Through the movie, I lean a little bit more into Jacob... god, I swear I'd pretty much have to straddle him and start moaning just to get him to acknowledge I'm a fucking woman with needs. Nope, I'd probably have to spell it out for him and then translate it to caveman-English just so he'd understand the first time.

That's it. I am taking a stand against this moron and his oblivious ways. I WILL get Jacob to notice me, and I WILL finally have him as mine.

(Jacob's POV)

Through the entire fucking movie, all I could concentrate on was Ren. How she gradually leant more into me, how her giggle sent my heart soaring, how I just wanted to pause the movie and make out with her... 'woah woah woah, Jake boy. This is Ren we're talking about. Psycho daddy will rip you a new one if you so much as make ANY advances on her. just calm it down, remember the game plan. Win over Eddy, and THEN you can unleash all this pent up gooey shit and sexual frustration. God, what I'd give to be able to pound into that tight little... NO NO NO. Pure thoughts.'

The past six months have been hell. Ever since Ren turned eighteen physically, I've been having to force myself not to take things anywhere. Of course, Eddy is still oblivious to how she feels, and how much of a tease she's being. Heck, everyone else knows she's sexually mature and gagging for it, why can't he?! You'd think for practically 200 years of experience and living he'd get the idea.

Every time we hung out it was laced with subtly-sexy stuff. She'd be in skin-tight clothes, showing off her fantastic set of tits, prancing around and flaunting her tight little body, checking me out every two seconds, and even having sexual undertones in EVERY conversation. This woman was making me have the worlds worst case of blue balls.

Once the movie was over, she hopped up to change over to our game for the night. As she bent over to change the disk, I almost let a groan slip. That perfect ass of hers drives me insane, just thinking about grabbing it or even feeling her grind it up against me... fuck, what I'd give for that.

I change into game mode as she proceeds to jump back next to me and pass me the controller. Can't let any of this slip just yet, knowing the little minx she'd probably jump me right here and now... on second thought, why would I pass that up?! Because of fucking, Edward.

Fuck my life.