I had this idea for a story as I was driving home on a long journey today.

It is set a month after Jenna's shooting, Elliot hasn't left but he isn't handling things very well. What would happen if Elliot totally lost it and had a total burnout, would he be able to get help, would he even want help and how would it affect everyone around him, if the one cop they could always trust in broke down in front of them. Most of all how would Olivia cope with losing her best friend and partner.

Chapter 1

He stood across the road and looked up at her window, taking a drink out of the almost empty bottle of Jack D's, his eyes starting to blur over.

His life was so fucked up right now. He had lost everyone he cared about, Liv; his kids even Kathy in some ways. What was wrong with him why did he always screw up? He thought back to the day in the squad room just under two weeks ago. He hadn't slept properly in days, when he wasn't working he would go home and drink, trying to block out Jenna's face after he shot her. He staggered slightly taking another drink and leant against the wall to keep his balance.

Between the lack of sleep, the alcohol and no eating he was being a complete prick in work, snapping at everyone, turning up late. But they all gave him space knowing he was struggling after what had happened.

He took another drink out the bottle until it was empty and dropped it on the floor.

Cragen had called him into his office. He informed him he had been cleared of the shooting by IAB but had to see Haung and get the all clear to go back out on the streets. He couldn't believe he had been cleared surely he should have been suspended or something he had killed a little girl, a victim, and he wasn't being punished. He walked out the office and passed everyone heading to the Cribs in a daze he had felt the anger inside him building up. Once in the crib he let loose picking up a chair and throwing it across the room and started to hit the lockers as hard as he could. He never heard Olivia come in and walk up behind him begging him to stop. All he felt was a hand on his shoulder he had turned and lashed out pushing the person who grabbed him away. It was then that Fin ran in and dropped down next to Olivia on the floor.

"What the hell did you do" Fin screamed at him.

"Fin I'm fine" said Olivia staring at Him.

He stared at her lying on the floor what the fuck had he done. He tried to speak but nothing would come out all he could focus on was the blood coming out her mouth. He turned and walked out the room. He heard her telling him to stop but he kept going not looking back.

That was the last time he had been at the station. Olivia had tried to call him leaving voicemails telling him she was ok and to get in touch. Cragen had called asking where the hell he was. He sent him a text saying he needed some personal time before he threw his cell against the wall. He had booked into a hotel knowing they would go to his place to try and find him; he didn't want to be found. He spent everyday drinking and every night outside her apartment hiding in the shadows trying to get the courage up to knock on her door and say sorry. It never happened. He would end up leaving going to the nearest Liquor store on his way back to the hotel.

A car he recognised pulled up outside her apartment, what the hell he was doing here he said to himself. He ran up the steps and rang the bell carrying a bag and a 6 pack. Olivia opened the door and said something to him before she flung her arms around him holding him. Before stepping him back and letting him in.

Elliot could feel the rage building up. Who the fuck did he think he was. He wasn't her partner he had no right to be there, bringing a 6 pack and Chinese. He looked around the alleyway and found a metal bar and marched over to the car. He swung his arm with bar back and smashed it down onto the windshield smashing a hole in it and setting off the alarm. He looked up and seen him come to her window.

"Think you can just move in" he said out loud before swinging the bar again smashing the side window.

"You could never take my place" Bang the back window was gone.

"What the Fuck are you doing" he heard a voice Yelling a t him. He ignored it smashing another window.

"Back the fuck off Fin" Elliot yelled taking out another window. "You think you can just move in on my partner, take my place" he shouted smashing the bar down on the roof of the car "Well you can't"

"Elliot put the bar down and think about what you're saying my mam" said Fin trying to calm him.

"Don't, don't try and talk to me like I'm some stupid perp" he yelled back at him as his assault on the car carried on.

"El stop please" begged Olivia "What are you doing"

"How could you do it Liv how could you just move on, we are partners, I killed Jenna to save you" he shouted tears falling from his eyes. "I killed a kid to save you" he sobbed.

A squad car stopped on the road and two men in uniform got out and started to come up behind Elliot as Olivia talked to him.

"I know El, I know what you did"

"No Liv you don't, when I pulled that trigger I died inside and nobody cared, nobody saved me"

He felt someone try and grab his arm with the bar, he turned and punched out smacking one of the uniforms in the face and felt his nose pop as it broke. Fin seized the chance and lunged at Elliot knocking him to the floor. The other uniform jumped on Elliot's back and helped Fin cuff.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME" he screamed as they dragged him towards the squad car.

"Fin stop" begged Liv "don't hurt him" she cried

"Sorry Liv we don't have a choice" he said as they shoved Elliot into the back of the car. He started to kick out at the door and smashed his head against the window. Olivia ran to the car.

"Elliot stop it please" she begged putting her hand on the window "Please stop hurting yourself" she cried. Elliot stopped kicking out and looked at Liv with dead eyes, as the squad car pulled away.

Fin put his arms around Olivia and held her as she cried whilst getting his phone out the pocket and punched in Cragens number.

"Hey Cap it Fin" he said "Elliot has showed up, and we have a problem"

So Yes or No should I continue this. I will wait for some reviews before I post anything else.