3. Rest and Cookies

"This is the most boring fun I've ever had in my entire life!"

"Ya're just cranky 'cause you've lost five times I a row."

"No," Jack folded his arms and almost pouted, "I'm just really bored."

Bunny rolled his eyes.
"Ya sure ya're over 300 years old? 'Cause ya're acting like a little-"

"I'm not a kid!"

"Now, now," North said diplomatically, "Play nice, you two. Just because I won every time... What is it, Sandy?"

Sandy had woken up, and Jack hoped it wasn't because of their squabbling. The little guy really needed his rest. But Sandy was gesturing towards the hallway behind the open doorway of the room, and as the others looked there they could see a queue of elves carrying dubious looking scrap metal. North heaved a sigh.

"I suppose I have to see elves don't make too big mess around workshop."

North was about to stand, but Jack stopped him. If he was going to be the caretaker for the day, he might as well live up to that. And escape the boredom of Go Fish.

"I'll check it out," he said and jumped to his feet. He grabbed his staff from the floor and tossed his cards to Sandy, "You want to take it over from here?"

Sandy nodded happily and Jack skipped his way out of the workshop. He almost squashed an elf that scurried past him like a pointy red mouse. It was carrying an extension cord that dragged behind it like a tail. Jack usually left the elves be – unless he felt like using them for target practise or pranks – but this time they really seemed to be up to something. Jack slung his staff over his shoulder and ran after the elf.

The elves were building something. That was nothing new. The elves lived under a firm delusion that they were actually building Santa's toys. And North was glad to encourage that delusion, since the elves made excellent product testers. This time the elves had put together a monstrosity of a... well, to be honest, Jack had no idea what it was. He could see the car battery there, as well as what the extension cord was supposed to be plugged into. It might have been a life-size mechanical terrier. If terriers had their eyes situated somewhere below their nose and exhaust pipes all over their bodies. It apparently ran with electricity, although it looked like putting any sort of current through it was definitely not a good idea. Jack crouched down and the elves looked at him curiously, their large pointy ears flapping as they spun to face him.

"That's great work, guys," Jack said like North had instructed him to while dealing with the elves, "Why don't you take a break while North recovers?"

The elves glanced at each other and then seemed to decide that no, they didn't want to take a break. One of them grabbed the extension cord. Yeah, no. Not going to happen. Jack froze the elf, and it toppled over looking like a frosted garden gnome. The other elves didn't seem to mind the harsh treatment of their colleague. Another one merely yanked the cord from tiny frozen hands. Jack sighed and then stood back up. Time for some psychology.

"You know... now that North's there in the fireplace room and the yetis are super busy, there's no one watching the cookies in the kitchen."

The elves halted and stared at him. One of them started to drool.

"Those delicious, delicious, forbidden cookies..."

The frozen elf somehow broke free of the ice while powered by some cookie-crazed surge of adrenaline.

"RACE YOU THERE!" Jack shouted at the top of his lungs and made a quick move as if to start running. The elves scrambled over each other and raced into the kitchen. Jack cheerfully waved after them. He could maybe take this time to confiscate all the cords and then go after the elves to make sure they didn't destroy the kitchen.

He didn't see an elf that had somehow missed the whole concept of racing to the cookies. He only realized it was there when it plugged in the mechanical terrier mutant that promptly exploded into pieces as a display of how improbably destructive bad engineering could be.

North had begun to feel slightly better. The yetis had made some excellent vegetable soup with extra ginger that soothed the throat. Sandy seemed to have already recovered almost completely. The eldest of the Guardians really wasn't brought down for long by anything. Toothiana had put aside the books and dragged herself up from the chair again to instruct some of her helper fairies that returned for more orders. Even Bunny seemed to have stopped shivering, even though he was still cranky at Jack about the extra arm. Well, one really couldn't blame young Jack about it, North decided. The boy couldn't have known. And it would pass in just a few hours. Compared to growing extra heads or the like, three arms wasn't all that weird.

North was just starting to relax and even considered taking a nap before he would declare himself fit enough to get back to work when they were all jolted to full alertness by an explosion. North was up and had drawn one of his sabres before he even realized it. His head was spinning uncomfortably, but he quickly raced to the door with Toothiana in tow.

"What is it now?" North boomed to the nearest yeti, who just shrugged his shoulders.

It was probably the elves. North's suspicions were confirmed when a bunch of them ran past him and disappeared into the kitchen.

"What's going on there?" Bunny asked and stood up gingerly.

A slightly singed elf stumbled into view and then fell down with ice around its feet and rolled comically across the doorway. An equally singed Jack Frost limped after it and stopped at the door.

"Hey! You guys shouldn't be up yet!"

"Jack?" Toothiana asked and gestured towards the boy's smouldering hoodie, "What happened?"

"Elves," came Jack's slightly dazed reply, "I'll stop them before they eat all the cookies."

"What the-" North started, but he was interrupted yet again as the winter spirit took off running.

"You guys just try to get some rest!" the boy shouted as he went.

North looked at Sandy. Sandy just shrugged.

When Jack got into the kitchen, the elves had by then managed to devour about a bucketful of cookies and two of the miniature hellions were taking a bath in porridge. A bluish-grey yeti was doing his best to throw the elves out. It looked like it would need some serious stress relief after the day. The poor beast had already torn off fistfuls of hair in rage and screamed something that sounded an awfully lot like "Prkl".

"Uhh... oops?" Jack said, "They're faster than I thought. Okay, everyone. I think that's enough of that."

He plucked one of the elves from a counter by its hat and set it outside and froze its feet to the floor. When he got back up another elf ran to its buddy's defence and brandished a cookie in a way it clearly thought was threatening. Jack raised a brow. About two seconds later the elf was stuck next to its friend in the impromptu time-out corner.

The rest of the elves didn't seem to like this. Well, Jack had to say that he wasn't all that cut out for the situation either. His job should have been to inspire fun, not to be the boring grown-up in a situation. But seeing how he had already caused enough trouble today...

"I'm pretty sure you've all had enough cookies now..."
He hesitated and was interrupted when one of the elves chucked a cookie at him. He caught it instinctively before it hit its mark and ate it.
"So, let's all get back out," he said with his mouth still full of chocolate chips and cookie crumbs – man, these were delicious.

The elves were confused. Their partner in crime had turned on them.

"But hey, we can do something else that's equally fun... uh..."

Okay, this wasn't the best time for the Guardian of Fun to run out of ideas. Although, at least the elves found almost anything fun if it involved enough noise. Maybe he could...

A cookie hit him right between the eyes. This time he hadn't been expecting it, and it hurt. Okay, so the elves wanted a fight? Those little buggers had eaten enough sugar to think they could take on Jackson Overland Frost? Old Man Winter? The Shepherd of the Cold and the Bringer of Snowballs and Fun Times?

Another cookie hit him in the face. Jack narrowed his eyes and the temperature in the room dropped drastically. It was on!

When the blue flashes finally faded, the bluish-grey yeti peeked from behind the counter he had used for cover. A neat row of frozen elves sat on one of the kitchen counters. Cookies, broken plates and even a few pots littered the floor. Jackson Overland Frost, Old Man Winter, the Shepherd of the Cold and the Bringer of Snowballs and Fun Times stood in the midst of it all, breathing heavily and clutching his staff tightly in his hand.

He almost felt like the situation would have warranted some sort of extra witty one-liner. But at the moment he couldn't think of anything. He grabbed a few crumbled cookies from the floor and tossed them into his mouth.

"What is going on there?" North asked for the fifth time. That was it, he would go there himself. His workshop needed him. Cold and fatigue be damned.

"North, wait!" Toothiana commanded when North stood up from the chair and fought the wave of dizziness, "Jack said he would handle it."

"Is my workshop," North said almost childishly, "I do what I want. You wait here."

He marched towards the door, but again he couldn't get far before he almost ran into Jack Frost, who rarely believed that normal walking speed was quick enough and was even now running back to check on the patients.

"North!" Jack snapped and put his hands on his hips, calling the wind to lift him to North's eye level, "What are you doing up? You look like you're about to fall asleep."

"What happened?" North asked back.

"The elves were making a mess in the kitchen. I took care of it."

"You froze them?" North guessed. Wouldn't be the first time.

"They'll be fine," Jack gave North's shoulder a push, "Now, get back in there!"

North grudgingly obliged. He sat down onto the armchair and relaxed the best he could.

"Looks like nurse Frosty got ya," Bunny smirked from his spot.

Both North and Jack cast the Easter Bunny a murderous glare.

"Of course I got him," Jack said, "You're all dead on your feet. Weren't you supposed to be resting?"

"I can't rest now!" Toothiana argued, "My fairies still need their instructions!"

"They'll be fine. You need a proper break."

"We are takin' a break, Frostbite," Bunny said.

"You were writing down a very detailed chemical formula of your new chocolate even as you said that!"

Bunny quickly put the paper and pen away and pretended they had never been there. Jack rolled his eyes.
"Sandy, knock them out."

Sandy nodded in agreement.

"Now hold on, mate..." Bunny raised his paws defensively.

Sandy formed a ball of dreamsand in his hand and threw it, and North and the others were plunged into the land of dreams.

Jack watched as the Guardians fell asleep thanks to Sandy's excellent aiming skills.

"Thanks, Sandy," he said and shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, "You seem to be better, by the way."

Sandy conjured up some affirmative sand images. Jack smiled. It was nice to see at least one of them was getting better. And maybe the others would get well soon once they woke up. Again, Jack didn't have much experience in being sick. But he did know that sleeping things off usually worked. Unless it was a concussion. And at least the Guardians were peaceful now. Jack looked around in the now quiet room and couldn't help feeling a strange sort of connection to the others. Like he was home. Jack decided he really liked it.

His soup and tea lay forgotten on one of the small tables in the room, and Jack picked them up and took a sip of the tea. It was cold by now, but he didn't mind at all. It tasted funny. Very Christmas-y. Christmas-y tastes felt out of place in October. Now that things had quieted down, he realized he was starting to feel tired himself. After all, he had been running around to get all sorts of stuff for his ailing companions, chased elves and been in an explosion. It had been a rough day for him too. Once this was over he would fly back to Burgess and get a good night's sleep at his lake. The Guardians had guessed they would be fine by tomorrow. He really hoped so.

He took the empty mugs and cups back to the kitchen and set them down next to the row of elfcicles. The room was a mess, and a light brown yeti had joined his bluish-grey friend to clean it up. Once the blue-grey one noticed Jack, it immediately pointed to the mess on the floor and growled. Jack was too tired to make a quick getaway, especially since the light brown yeti had just picked up a large frying pan and was basically blocking the door.

"Alright, alright," he raised his hands in surrender, "I'll clean it up."

He didn't like cleaning things up. He was much better at making a mess.

He was almost done with the kitchen when a yeti howled in anguish and Jack figured the beast had stumbled upon the remains of the terrier mutant bomb in one of the corridors.

To make sure the elves didn't start another cookie craze once they thawed, he stuffed the rest of them into his pocket and ate them on the way to the aid of the by now very exasperated yetis.

When North woke up later in the evening, he was feeling much better. In fact, he was feeling just fine. He got up and his head didn't start spinning. Toothiana and Bunnymund were still asleep, but they too looked much healthier. Tooth's feathers had regained their shine and Bunny's third arm was nowhere to be seen. Sandy was up and about. North could see the little man's glow outside the window. Everything seemed to be getting back on track.

He didn't want to disturb his companions, but as he set out to see how his workshop was doing, Tooth stirred, her wings fluttering as she stretched her arms over her head.

"North?" she mumbled sleepily and then her eyes brightened, "Hey! I feel so much better already!"

She sprung into the air excitedly and spun around a few times like an aerial ballerina before looking back at North.
"How are you feeling?"

"Better as well," North assured, "Now I have to see to my workshop."

"Hey, Bunny is back to normal too!" Tooth pointed out, "Bunny? Wake up!"

Bunny's ears perked and he sat up, feeling his side and nodding with satisfaction when he was sure that yes, he only had two arms. He hopped to his feet.

"It feels good to be back."

"Where's Jack?" Tooth asked and looked around, "Did he leave?"

True enough, the young winter spirit was nowhere in sight. Maybe Sandy would know where the kid was. As if on cue, Sandy floated back inside, waving a greeting and asking with pictures if they had slept well.

"We did," Toothiana said, "Thank you, Sandy!"

"Do you know where Jack is?" North asked, "He needs to be thanked as well."

Sandy looked thoughtful and then pointed to the direction of the workshop. He didn't seem to have more detailed information than that.

"Well, he is probably still here," North pointed at the door, "Now to the workshop. To check if the elves did too much damage."

The workshop was fine, as North could approvingly point out. The yetis hadn't stopped working and North only had to suggest a few quick adjustment to the toys made that day. A large amount of elves was found in the kitchen, where they were warming up by one of the stoves under the close surveillance of a very disgruntled yeti.

"Everything is fine?" North inquired as he approached the yeti.

The yeti grunted affirmatively.

"Good. Now where is Jack Frost?"

The yeti pointed towards one of the back rooms. It was smaller than the one the Guardians had spent the day in, and the air in it was much cooler due to being situated next to one of North's ice storages. They found Jack there, stretched onto the back of a couch, staff loosely in one hand. The boy was asleep, clearly exhausted.

"Aww..." Toothiana cooed, "That's just adorable!"

Jack's eyes fluttered open and he looked at the other Guardians with a confused expression on his eternally young face.
"Guys?" he asked hoarsely, "What're you doing up?"

"We're feeling much better now," Bunny proclaimed, "A measly cold isn't going to keep Guardians down for long."

"Oh, that's good," Jack sat up slowly, "I was getting tired of looking after you."

"You did very good job," North said and clapped a hand on the boy's shoulder, "Thank you!"

"Yeah, good job," Jack managed a tired grin, "Like made you sick in the first place and made Bunny sprout an extra arm."

"But you still took care of us," Tooth pointed out, "You helped a lot."

Sandy mimed and pictured something that meant something along the lines "the Guardians stick together in sickness and health". North had to agree with that.

Jack smiled a little, but then he yawned and flopped back onto his stomach. Now that North looked closely, he realized how exhausted Jack really was.

"Jack?" Tooth asked, "You... what's wrong?"

Jack pulled his hood up and mumbled something about elves and cookies and then curled up, falling from the back of the couch and onto the cushions. He was asleep in an instant, even without Sandy's help.

The rest of the Guardians glanced at each other and smiled.

In sickness and health...

Author's Note: Kagirinai-Eternal pointed out to me that white chocolate isn't really chocolate. Well, yeah, it isn't. That's what I get for typing without thinking. Well, I fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out!

So apparently I got sick! Again! Well, at least I managed to take a walk outside before I did. It involved walking through knee-deep snow and then walking on a frozen stream that wasn't quite as frozen as I thought. It seems that super creepy Finnish thin ice PSA didn't traumatize me enough after all. Well, it was a very shallow stream.

Prkl is actually short of Perkele, which is a very common Finnish swearword. It's actually the name of an old "pagan" god and probably the only swearword I know that I actually like!