Boys are Easier

By: Katerinaki

Published: 3/27/2014

Beta'ed: No

Notes: My only excuse is the job and not being good at emotional writing. It's kind of weird at first, but the end sets up the next bit of action. Thank you for sticking with me. Please excuse typos. I haven't looked over some of this. I just wanted to get it up.

-Katerinaki

Chapter 11:

Kaye pulled her hood up over her head as they passed through the crowds. She found herself drawing on her Ranger training, keeping to shadows and remaining as unobtrusive as possible, all the while following Jaret. She was thankful to those who were trying to help rebuild the inn, but the last thing she wanted right now was to accept condolences. She was physically tired from the road and her Ranger calm was emotionally hanging on by a thread. Jaret, the good friend that he was, kept a quick pace and always seemed to be glancing back at her, just to make sure she hadn't been waylaid.

The Millers lived down the road and around the corner from the inn, just far enough away that they left the builders behind. Jaret waited for Kaye to join him on the doorstep before knocking. Mrs. Miller was not a big woman, but she was strong from working the large grindstones the Millers made their lives from. She answered the door with her youngest; Winnie who was six now, perched on her hip.

"Jaret," she greeted, standing aside to let him in without question. It was towards Kaye that she looked suspiciously, but then Kaye supposed she looked suspicious with her Ranger cloak and her hood pulled up concealing her face. "Is there something wrong?" Mrs. Miller asked as she closed the door behind herself.

Once the door was shut, Kaye took her hood down, feeling at last safe from the great many people outside. Mrs. Miller gasped, and then Winnie was set on her feet so that Kaye could be pulled into her arms.

"Oh my dear, I hardly recognized you! A Ranger, so then the rumors were true?"

"Maybe not all of them," Kaye replied quietly, "If I know Rebecca."

"But you are a Ranger. I never would've believed it, but here you are." Mrs. Miller lightly smoothed over Kaye's cloak, like she wanted to make sure Kaye looked proper, but was hesitant to touch a thing that was associated with black magic and the secretive Corps. Kaye didn't blame her; she probably would've thought much the same if she were in Mrs. Miller's position. One day a girl you'd known her entire life left without warning and the rumors were probably grand with Rebecca at the eye of the gossip storm.

Mrs. Miller seemed to come to herself as Jaret spoke up. "Is he here?"

"Yes," she replied, quickly taking a step back and hugging a puzzled Winnie to her skirt. "He is just resting, but I can go wake him..."

"I would like to," Kaye said. "If you would point me to his room."

"Of course, certainly." Mrs. Miller led Kaye upstairs to where the family slept. At the end of the hallway was a room that, if Kaye remembered correctly, had belonged to the Millers' eldest son, Edmund. Edmund had left a year before Kaye did, to enlist in the army. He was a pikeman, with high aspirations, Mrs. Miller told her as they walked down the hallway. She gestured Kaye towards the door and then left. Kaye took a deep breath before the door. Just on the other side was her father. All of the thoughts that had raced through her mind on the ride from Redmont were back with a vengeance. Kaye briefly considered turning around and waiting a bit longer, but she knew that she needed to see him. So she turned the handle and slipped into the small corner room with its sloped ceiling and low bed set underneath the window.

He looked frail, and his hair was grayer, Kaye noticed as she stepped around the side of the bed. His face was lined even in sleep, but then it always had been. She stood and watched him sleep for an indeterminate amount of time. It was surreal to see him again, especially after everything that Kaye had experienced. In her mind she knew it hadn't been more than a year, and yet it felt like a life time since that night when she had stood before him and insisted that this was what she was meant to do, become a Ranger.

He stirred and Kaye almost took a step back into the shadows before she remembered that she didn't need to hide. She was meant to be here. And so she took a step forward and gently laid her hand on her father's. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"Kaye."

"Papa."

"I dreamed that you would come back. They were so real, but I knew you were in Redmont." His hand came up and cupped her chin. "You look so much like her."

Kaye bit her lip and fought back the emotions like she had been since hearing the terrible news from Baron Arald. She had wanted to be strong, like a Ranger should be, but now it was becoming too difficult. Her father sat up and pulled her into a hug and Kaye buried her face in his shoulder and let herself cry for the first time. In their privacy, she didn't have to be a Ranger. In privacy she was just a girl who would never see her mother again.

"I should've—"

"It was an accident," Kaye's father insisted, before she could begin to place any blame.

"Uncle Gareth is here. We saw him on the road."

Her father frowned, but said nothing of his younger brother's presence. After a few minutes there was a knock on the door and Mrs. Miller brought supper for just the two of them, murmuring about how she figured they needed time to themselves. Kaye thanked her for the both of them. She and her father ate and talked quietly, mostly about Kaye's training. They both strayed around the accident, both recognizing that they would need to talk about it, but neither wanting to at the moment.

As the sky began to darken, Kaye finally decided that she needed to be getting on. Mrs. Miller insisted that she was welcome to stay, that they had plenty of space. But Kaye knew that they really didn't and although Halt had never spoken one way or the other, Kaye knew she should join him at Gilan's. She wanted to stay with her father, but part of her knew that her place was also with her teacher. Her father, who had always seemed to know what she was thinking, recognized the two feelings fighting in her mind.

"It is getting late," he said quietly. "You've had a long journey from Redmont and I'm sure your master will be expecting you."

Kaye's insistence that it really wasn't that late, that Halt would understand she was needed here was already on the tip of her tongue, but once more her father interrupted her.

"You need rest, and so do I." He stood and the two of them left the small corner room for the first time that night. Down in the kitchen, Kaye was surprised to see Jaret still there, sitting and talking to the Millers's eldest daughter, Adeline. They were smiling at each other and as Jaret murmured to Adeline, she giggled. It was strange and Kaye stepped extra loud as she entered the kitchen. The two of them hopped back from each other, Jaret drawing shapes on the table and Adeline going back to the counter where dough and flour were waiting. They looked up when Kaye and her father entered and both seemed surprised to see Mr. Harrow.

"Kaye, Mr. Harrow—we were just—I was just—waiting, for Kaye, to walk her home."

"I can take care of myself," Kaye replied dryly, her lip just barely twitching as she suppressed a smirk.

Jaret's eyes widened as he drummed his fingers on the table nervously. "Right! I didn't mean—that is, I know—"

Kaye let him ramble for a little while longer before she finally put him out of his misery. "Jaret, relax. Thank you for…waiting." She turned and hugged her father, lingering longer than she had before she'd first left Meric. When she pulled away, her throat clenched and she found she was afraid to let go completely. What if something happened in the night? What if she lost her father too?

"Tomorrow I'll bring Uncle Gareth," she murmured. "I love you."

"I love you too," her father replied, giving her hand one last squeeze before letting go. As Kaye and Jaret left the house, she almost turned back around. She could sleep on the floor; she and Halt had slept in worse conditions before. She should be with her father. He needed her now more than ever before, but once more she was leaving to go be a Ranger.

"Everything will be alright."

Kaye was drawn from her thoughts by Jaret's sudden declaration.

"We'll rebuild the inn, you'll see. You don't have to worry."

"I know," Kaye murmured. "Thank you." She was grateful to her former neighbors and friends for helping what remained of her family. Their kindness could never be repaid. It wouldn't ever be the same as it was before, but maybe Jaret was right, and things might be okay.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to Gilan's cabin. Although they walked beside each other, there seemed to be miles between them. Where before they had been able to banter back and forth with ease, now there seemed to be a wall that was too tall for either to peer over. A year seemed like a short time, and yet Kaye hardly felt she knew her friend anymore. He was taller and stronger. He flirted with girls and yet when he spoke to Kaye, he was always hesitant and uncertain. As they walked in silence, Kaye realized that she knew nothing about his life anymore, just as he knew nothing about her training as a Ranger. When the small Ranger cabin came into view, Kaye sighed in relief while Jaret tensed and became more uncertain. He stopped on the path and Kaye looked back in confusion. It wasn't until she saw the way his eyes nervously darted towards the cabin that she understood. She saw a place of refuge, a warm fire and familiar people, but Jaret saw a solitary hut, shrouded in mystery. When they were younger, they used to dare each other to go closer and closer. One boy had even knocked on the door, but the Ranger hadn't been home at the time. It seemed silly to Kaye now, but Jaret's hesitation reminded her that not everyone saw Rangers as she did now.

"I think I can manage from here," Kaye said, and Jaret seemed relieved to be able to stop where he was.

"Goodnight," he bid her. "I'll see you in the morning." He gave her a grin, but his eyes still darted back to the cabin before he turned and left. Kaye watched him go for just a moment more before turning back to the cabin. It looked similar to Halt's, though it was made from different wood and surrounded by less forest. A little ways away, Kaye spotted the lean-to for the horses. Alejo, Abelard, and Gilan's mare, Blaze were already out and watching her from the other side of the fence. Likely they'd heard her and Jaret approaching. Seeing that Kaye was not their masters, Abelard and Blaze returned to the lean-to, but Alejo stayed behind, nickering softly as if to say "I'm here if you need me."

Kaye crossed over to the fence and laid a hand on his nose, patting him gently. Halt had taken good care of him and Alejo's coat was quite clean considering how much time they had spent on the road in recent months. He nibbled at her hand, but Kaye had nothing for him. When he realized that, he huffed and trotted off.

"I'm sorry," Kaye murmured, watching him disappear inside the lean-to before she turned back towards the cabin. Light flickered through the small windows, probably from the cooking hearth. As Kaye approached, her feet silent on the soft grass, she heard the murmuring of Halt and Gilan inside. Curious, Kaye took extra care to be silent as she approached the cabin. She didn't dare step up onto the porch, knowing that the wood would likely creak and alert the Rangers inside to her presence.

"…she handling everything?"

"She's been quiet since we left the Gathering. This isn't helping."

"Give her time. She's strong, and just as stubborn as you."

"Isn't that why you suggested her?"

Kaye froze as she'd been taught to do in training. She hadn't been expecting them to be talking about her. Halt still didn't tell her most of what he learned from the Ranger missives that kept him up-to-date on the clandestine goings-on around the kingdom. She'd hoped to maybe hear something between the two fully-fledged Rangers.

"One of the reasons," Gilan replied and Kaye could hear the smile in his tone that was without a doubt on his face. "Have you read the missive out of Aspienne?"

"I have."

"There is talk of it being connected. There are certain similarities between the incident there and here. Baron Ewart has asked me to investigate. We may have a group of arsonists."

Arsonists? Kaye's mind raced as she tried to make sense of what she was overhearing. Something had happened in Aspienne fief. Another fire and the Rangers thought it was connected to the one here. But then, the fire that had destroyed her family's inn, that had taken her mother from her and cut down her once proud father, was on purpose? Who would do such a thing? Was someone angered by her family? Had her parents done something wrong?

Or maybe it wasn't her parents they were angry at. Kaye's mind raced back to the angry words spat at her by Raulf and the other apprentices. Nothing had come about during the Gathering, despite Raulf's threats. Kaye had made it through the Gathering with Brant and Declan. Even Raulf and his friends had passed, though their scores had been the lowest of the group and they had only gotten their bronze oakleaf by the skin of their teeth. Surely they weren't behind this. Raulf was hot-headed and bigoted, but he was also just a Ranger apprentice. He couldn't arrange to have her family's inn burned. And anyways, the fire had happened while they were still at the Gathering. But Raulf reflected the opinion of others too, maybe even others who had more power, who could possibly have arranged this.

Kaye knew she wasn't supposed to hear any of this, but the more her thoughts swirled around inside her head and made connections that may or may not be true, the more Kaye knew that she had to be part of Gilan's investigation. She had to know the truth, otherwise it would torment her. She would always wonder if it was her fault, if because she was the first female Ranger apprentice, her mother had been killed.

Resolving herself to go inside the cabin and demand to join Gilan in his hunt, Kaye walked up the steps and opened the door. Halt and Gilan were sitting by the fire, coffee in their hands. They weren't talking any more, but Kaye had heard all she needed to hear.

"Kaye, I'm sorry to hear of your loss." Gilan jumped to his feet and in a most unexpected move, wrapped Kaye in a firm hug. Kaye held stock still, uncertain if she should hug him back or not. By the time she reached up to pat him on the back, Gilan had pulled back again and was busy pouring Kaye her own cup of coffee.

"We thought you would want to stay with your father," Gilan said as he offered Kaye his chair by the fire and pulled another from the table.

"I thought it best to get back and tend Alejo. The Millers don't have much room as it is."

Halt was quiet as Gilan bustled about. He watched her carefully and Kaye had the distinct feeling that he suspected her of eavesdropping. It was hard to get anything by Halt; Kaye had learned that early on in her apprenticeship.

"You can have the second bedroom. I don't mind the floor by the fire," Gilan offered as he handed her a warm mug of coffee. "It's still a little cold at night and—"

"I want to help you find the people who killed my mother."

Gilan choked on his own coffee and immediately fell into a hacking fit. Halt, however, didn't seem surprised by her declaration at all, which only confirmed her suspicions earlier. She'd have to work a lot harder to fool Halt.

"No," he said firmly.

"She was my mother," Kaye insisted. "My family's livelihood is destroyed. I have every right to find out who did it."

"And you will after Gilan and I have done a thorough investigation and brought the culprits to justice."

"I'm a good tracker, and I've lived in this fief for most of my life. You can use my help and then we'll be able to find them faster!"

"You are not ready for an assignment like this."

"How is this any different from tracking Legrand?" Kaye demanded.

"Because you are emotional."

"I'm not emotional!" Kaye screamed. Her chair clattered to the floor as she jumped up and the loud noise startled her. Outside she heard Alejo whinny; ask if he was asking if she was alright.

Halt looked pointedly at the chair and fixed her with an unimpressed stare. Gilan had finally stopped coughing and seemed to be warily glancing between the two of them, not wanting to get in the middle of the master and apprentice stand-off. Kaye's heart pounded in her chest and her throat felt like it was closing, but she stood tall and held Halt's gaze, refusing to back down. Halt might be able to intimidate others with that stare, but Kaye refused to let it work now. She had to stand firm. She deserved to be a part of this.

"You are not going to be involved in this," Halt stated, simply and in a low voice that brooked no argument.

"Halt, perhaps—"but Halt wouldn't listen to Gilan's suggestion.

"No. I am the master and what I say is final. You will focus on your family while the Rangers will handle the investigation." He stood and walked silently across the cabin before disappearing inside the bedroom and closing the door firmly behind him. Kaye glared at the door behind him, the knot in her throat cutting off any words she might've hurled in insult. Fury and frustration burned in her gut alongside the guilt and grief she had been holding inside since Baron Arald called them to the castle in the middle of the night.

"Halt is doing what he thinks is best," Gilan said quietly.

"He's being Halt," Kaye growled. "And sometimes he's not always right!" She grabbed her bags from the floor by the door where Halt had left them and marched into the second bedroom. She shut the door behind her and wedged the extra chair under the handle so nobody would come in. For the second time that day, she cried.