So here is my new story. It's not-so knew since I already posted it earlier this year but decided that I would repost it later on when I could dedicate some more time to it.
The story has changed slightly but will still follow the same path as before. I just hope this time it will get off to a better start and you will all like it and I know I can't please some.
So enjoy.
15 years earlier
Lakeview, Washington State, 12th of November, 1998
"Derek?" She asks Derek from the floor of his bedroom.
"Hmmm?" He answers as he concentrates on the restringing of his guitar.
"Let's run away together."
"What? You're crazy? We have no money, no car, and no destination."
"We have each other." She says.
He smiles at her with his big blue eyes widening and a smile covering his face. "I would love to run away but we're only 12."
"I wasn't meaning now and I wasn't literally meaning to run away. I just thought that when we finish school we shouldn't apply for college and head straight to LA and get signed and live from a car until we receive our first paycheque and can afford a small apartment and sufficient food and a comfy bed to sleep on. I wanna be a rock star and not a scholar."
He placed his guitar down beside him and crawled over beside her grasping her hand.
"We will be rock stars. We'll live in LA. We'll tour the world. We'll be happy and we'll write and sing for the rest of our lives." He says.
"You promise?" She says.
"I promise. No one gets left behind." He says kissing the tops of her hand. "We'll have our dreams and if not we'll be together forever. We'll live until we are 100 and reminisce on these times." He says. "Cradle to grave."
"I love you." She says smiling.
"I love you too." He replies. "Friends forever."
…
Seattle, Washington, June 3rd, 2013
"Derek, awesome job out there tonight." JT says.
"I couldn't have done it without you guys." He says as he heads towards the dressing rooms. "You guys were great."
"Not as great as you. You are the star Derek." Sav says twirling his drumsticks around.
"Well I wouldn't be this great without you all."
He starts to head back to his room and is stopped by his assistant.
"Derek I have most of your gear in the car and the Lakeview paper." Jenny says. "And your car is out the back ready to go when you are."
"Thanks Jenny." I say.
"Great show out there tonight Derek."
"Thank you." He says as she leaves him.
Seeing his name plastered to the door was weird. Small town boys never got their names on a door of their own dressing room. Small town boys didn't live the lifestyle he lived but he would never trade it in for the world.
He opened the door to his room quietly and heard the even breaths and light snoring of a sleeping soul. He knelt down beside the couch and ran his hand over the green-eyed, blonde-haired girl and smiled.
"Just like your Momma." He says to himself and admires his 5 year old daughter.
He kissed her warm forehead and changed from his clothes and remembered the past two weeks as his daughter accompanied him on the road for these two short weeks before returning home to Lakeview to be with her mother and brother before he hit the road again to finish his final 6 shows. He considered a stopover in Moses Lake for the night but no matter what he chose he would still spend the same amount of time with her.
Even though she was sleeping he would still cherish the trip back to Lakeview to deliver her safely to her mother before he would hold her for a long moment, tell her how much he loved her and then remind her he would be home in no time to spend some more time with her and surprise Lakeview with a free-of-charge concert to surprise them and thank them.
Lakeview had been kind to him, especially since he hadn't been as kind to it. He hadn't been home to Lakeview for nearly 5 years. His surprise show would be free of charge to the citizens because of the nurturing this town had done to him. He would be seeing his parents, one of his sisters and his childhood friends. But the one person he was most excited to see more than anyone was his best friend but his best friend was the mother of his daughter and even though he last saw her two weeks ago he was missing her like crazy. They spent two weeks together in Boston, New York and Jersey. She attended those 4 shows he had and got her back up on the stage to sing at the show in Boston. She hadn't sung in front of a crowd of people for 5 or 6 years. The two were best friends and parents to Savannah and time spent together was well spent and when they weren't together a phone call would always be made, an email or text sent or a Skype call. He made sure of spending more time with her since the two of them were welcoming a baby in 5 short weeks.
Time with his daughter was rare but when he would see her he would make their time special and memorable. Like these two passing weeks he brought onto the stage at his shows and she would show off how much of a prodigy she was. She would duet, sing solo and play the piano with the new tune her mother had shown her. He would take her to the zoo or aquarium or even with a surprise trip to Japan or London and he would always bring along his best friend but she would dismiss his offerings most of the time to care for her other child Jack and to work.
He understood though. She found love with another man a 18 months after their daughter was born and they were married and trying for a child since he was in the Army. She was left a widower after he was killed in a roadside attack. Her life was a constant disappointment and she was the girl with the hard life. No father, a workaholic mother, illness, tragedy, death and disappointment. Dreams being crushed day after day especially her dreams and hopes of leaving Lakeview where thrown out the window as soon as her mother became sick and needed constant caring since they had no money to put her into a home. But it had been 6 years since the passing of her mother and she was still in Lakeview and not by Derek's side like she should be. He always offered her a place at his home for change and she said that Lakeview was home but his home would be with her and his children travelling and collaborating.
He packed the last few things away into bags and pilled them beside the door. When a soft knock came at the door and he opened it, checking that his daughter hadn't woken. Jenny was standing at the other side.
"Are you ready?" She asks.
"Sure am." He says going over to his daughter and picking her up and settling her peacefully in his arms. "I'll come back and get the last of my things."
"Don't be silly. I'll carry them." She says with a soft smile, picking the two overnight bags up into her hands.
"You can carry Savannah if they are too heavy."
"I'm not good with children. I'll wake her and then freak out and it won't end too well."
"Well she sleeps like a log. Nothing can disturb her. She's not a morning person either."
"I don't want to risk it." She says.
"Okay then." He says as they leave the dressing room. Derek drapes the blanket over her body as they reach the misty, Seattle air and prevent her from getting sick.
"Are you sure you don't won't company on your drive down?" She asks him.
"I'm sure." He says smiling. "I just want to wind down and do the drive down on my own with Van. Spend some time with her."
"That's fair enough." She says to him with such distance and sadness present in her voice and they continue in silence to keep Savannah peacefully asleep.
"Savannah looks a lot like her."
"She really does." Derek says kissing his daughters temple. "So much like her. Personality and looks. Savannah didn't inherit any of my genes."
"No she did." Jenny says. "Your musical talent, your kindness, she does look like you even if they aren't dominant features. She speaks like you. She's everything that you are. She's both her mother and father." She says.
"Thanks."
"Daddy?" Savannah says sleepily as she lifts her head to look where she is.
"Hey sweetie." He says with such softness in his voice. "We're just about to get into the car and head home. You'll be in the car in no time and you can sleep until we get home. I promise I'll wake you when we get there." He says kissing her forehead.
"Did you sing well tonight?"
"I sure did baby girl." He says smiling at her.
They reach Derek's Range Rover and Jenny unlocks it and places the bags in the back while Derek straps Savannah into the back. He goes to the back finding her teddy and climbs into the opposite side and fixes Savannah with her teddy, pillow and blanket. She snuggled into the pillow and let out a small yawn.
He climbed out and grabbed his things from the back and Jenny handed him the keys.
"Have a safe trip Derek." She says to him. "Bye Savannah, have a good time back at home and treat Mommy very well."
"Bye Jenny." She says sleepily and Derek closes the passenger door.
"Thanks Jenny. I'll see you in Oregon in a few days." He tells her as he climbs into the front seat. "Ring me when you are all leaving."
"Will do Derek. Drive safe. You let me know when you are in Lakeview." She says and closes the door of the car.
He started the engine of the car. He hooked his IPod in and then took off. He could see that Savannah was sound asleep again and he decided he would ring Lakeview to inform of their impending visit.
He dialled through the Bluetooth but the phone went straight to voicemail just like this afternoon and he hung up and decided he would just leave his mother a text to let her know. His stomach growled he decided a quick food stop was in order. But was it really his stomach that was growling or the worrying that was starting to escalate in his body. He was just being silly. Everything was fine. His music filled the car.
The mix music that Meredith had always told him to listen to and download when they talked to each other. His music was her influence. He even made a playlist of her music. He made playlists of their favourite songs they sang together. They had favourites for everything and songs that were strictly their songs. Songs they would listen to when they were homesick and missed each other.
My happiness is slowly creeping back
Now you're at home
If it ever starts sinking in
It must be when you pack up and go
He pulled in at a service station and locked Savannah in the car while he made a quick dash to the toilet and bought a milkshake and a sandwich. He was craving pizza but he knew he would be living off pizza after the baby arrived. Pizza was a family tradition between the three of them and they would never go to a new city without trying the local pizza scene.
He climbed back into the car and stayed put while he ate his sandwich and had a chance to catch up on the local news of Lakeview but ended up thanking his band for tonight. He ate while Savannah slept. He refilled the car with gas and then headed off towards Seattle but decided on a quick roadside stop to read some of the newspaper and he smiled as he remembered the times he was teased for the way he read the paper.
"You know that the important stories are always at the front of the paper?"
"Yes I do. But if I read it front to the back I am faced with the breaking news. Usually the most heartbreaking news. It's like warming up."
"To read the news?" She asks him.
He smiled at himself just reminiscing those times they spent together as kids and teenagers.
He started the drive home towards Lakeview and remembered the memories and such but the constant guilt of not being home in 5 years. 5 years would bring back a lot of memories and guilt. All these sudden memories flooded back to him and he was unsure why the nostalgia?
He had the radio playing when the newsbreak started.
"In breaking news, a shooting at a small restaurant in the town of Lakev…."
"Daddy, when will you be back home?" Savannah asks in a sleepy haze.
"Um 3 weeks."
"So you're going to come and see us again?"
"Of course I am. I have you, the baby and your Mommy to see. I'll be staying until your Mommy has the baby and then we'll go from there. We'll be together forever after bubby is born. No more distance and time apart. We'll be a family." He says looking down at his phone as it flashed and a headline caught his eye. A headline which meant trouble and bad news. Restaurant Shooting. Two dead, 4 critically injured, 10 injured in a shooting at the local restaurant.
He pulled over the car quickly and grabbed his phone and read the headline and stared at his better half. Derek was staring down those beautiful eyes. Those same eyes his daughter inherited. Those eyes he hoped his unborn baby would inherit. Those eyes were staring back at him. He couldn't believe it. A small town was rocked with a shooting. He didn't know how she was and if she was the confirmed. She was only up on the screen because of her link to him.
"Daddy what's wrong?" She asks.
"Nothing sweetheart. Nothing at all." He says with his voice cracking.
…
The town was deadly quiet as the Range Rover rolls into the ghost town. The same quiet town he had grown up in. A few new shops in the main streets and the constant renovations. Houses stayed the same with refurbishments to tend to the tired houses. The restaurant where the shooting happened was behind the main street and was a family business. He knew he would pass the restaurant as it was the destination to his mother's home.
He drove past the restaurant and it was a crime scene. Police, investigators and crime scene experts were there to try and get light at what had happened. News vans were lined beside the kerb waiting for new news. He caught sight of the memorial that had been set up already and flowers, teddy bears, balloons and letters lined the street. It was an array of colour. Contrasting to the horrific events from over 12 hours before.
He pulled away from the kerb and drove down to his mother's house. He passed her house as well and it looked exactly like it had when he left. Just new refurbished doors and windows complimented the old house. New flowers had flowered and the lawns had been tended to. Just like he remembered when he was a child; the bikes and toys that lay on the lawn. Bikes were scattered along the lawn with kid's toys. It was just like before when they were growing up. The house itself looked tired and old and was not keeping up with the young family
He pulled into his mother's driveway and got out of the car. He had told his mother he would be home but not this early. But he was tired and decided he would slip into the house with Savannah and sleep before waking his mother up. He snuck up the front steps quietly and noticed the door was locked which was strange. No one in Lakeview ever locked their doors. So he searched for a spare key. Under the mat. On top of the porch lamp. In the pot plant. It was nowhere and he was beat. So he decided he would retire to his car and sleep and wait until the morning.
"Derek?" He hears. He turns around and sees his mother standing at the door. She looked confused and half asleep.
"Hi Ma."
"Come on inside Derek." She tells him. She knew too well not to ask what he was doing here. She was shocked but she half expected him to be on her doorstep later tomorrow.
He walked to the car and opened up the passenger door. Savannah woke as he moved her.
"Where are we Daddy?"
"We're home." He says carrying her across the lawn. "We're at Nanna's. I'll go and take you upstairs so you can sleep."
"Can I see Mommy?"
"Wait until morning sweetie." He says.
He walked back up the porch steps with Savannah in his arms. His mother kissed his head and kissed Savannah. She followed him up the stairs and he went and laid her down in his old bedroom. He tucked her in under the covers and kissed her forehead. She waited for him at the door of the bedroom and then shuts it behind him as they walk back down the stairs to the kitchen. The wooden table sits in the middle of the kitchen with the old whitegoods aging along with the flooring and wallpaper.
"How is she?"
"It's not good." Carolyn says.
"Oh no!" He says.
"Derek she is alive but the doctors are telling us that there are slim chances of her making it till the morning."
"What about the baby?"
"They performed an emergency caesarean when they arrived at the hospital. You have a little girl Derek."
"A girl?"
"Yes."
"How is she?"
"She is in the isolate at this present moment. She has the lung machine on just to get her lungs working properly. She's a fighter your little girl."
"I have to go and see them." He says.
"Derek, why don't you stay here for some sleep first?"
"Ma, you said that there are slim chances of her making it til morning. I have to see her before morning." He says.
"Okay. Go on then."
Derek stands from his chair and starts to leave the room before he turns back around to face his mother.
"Don't tell Savannah anything yet. I need to know what's going on before I tell Savannah."
"I won't Derek. Go and be with her." She says.
Derek leaves the house and drives to the hospital. Fear and the unknown are clouding his thoughts and he has no idea how to react and think clearly.
The half hour drive didn't solve anything and made him worry more. He parked his car, gathered his guitar case and his presents he had bought for the baby when it arrived.
He walked through the lobby and stopped at the reception desk.
"Hi what room is…"
"Sorry visiting hours are over." The nurse says not even turning her back.
"What do you mean they are over?" He says.
The nurse turns on her chair, doesn't show eye contact and points to a sign placement on the desk.
"You don't understand, I need to…."
"I don't understand? I do understand. Do you understand that we have 13 shooting victims in these walls. We have people dying. We have people so sick they don't understand what day it is? You sir should leave and come back in visiting hours."
"Glenda!" He hears someone scowl from behind him. "Do you even know who you are talking to?"
The nurse then looks up from the desk and her eyes go wide in shock. "Oh, I'm so sorry Mr Shepherd."
"Can I please see my wife?"
"You don't want to see your daughter first?" She says with a confused look.
"Meredith Grey first, please." He says.
She looks at him and nods her head. "Room 436."
"Glenda I'll show him."
Derek turns around and sees his older sister Kasey standing there. He falls into her embrace and they hold each other for a moment before she leads him to the chairs in the waiting room.
"How is she? She's dead isn't she?" Derek says.
"No, she's still here." Kasey says. "I just need you to understand that her chances of surviving are slim."
"I do know that." He says. "I drove to Lakeview thinking she was dead. I drove here thinking she had died. I understand. I just want to see her and tell her how much I love her and kiss her and share a last moment with her."
Kasey nodded her head.
"Has the baby been brought into her room?"
"No. The peads doctor doesn't want to move the baby because of infection and such."
"I really want Mer to meet the baby even if it's subconsciously."
"I know. I'll take you up to her room and go and get your baby girl. I'm Chief I have the power."
"Thank you." He says standing up and following Kasey to the room.
"We have security by her doors because of the media attention this has surfaced. They may ask to check your bags and such just in case."
"Okay."
Arriving outside her door they are met by two guards.
"Dr Vincent." They say greeting Kasey.
"Boys. This is Ms Grey's husband here. Derek Shepherd. He is going to go in and spend some time with her." Kasey says.
"That's fine." They say. "We'll keep an eye on the door."
"Thanks boys." She says and opens the door and guides Derek into the room.
"Can you tell me about her injuries?" He says staring at Meredith.
"Alright… She was shot in the abdomen. High range, missing the baby bump but shot wounds are tricky and some go straight through, others can cause damage by bouncing around and lodging in the body. The bullet of hers missed the stomach, but hit her intestines and considering that she is in her last 5 weeks, she was lucky that it didn't hit the baby. The bullet went through and lodged itself in her kidneys. Her spleen suffered damage as did her liver. The paramedics rushed her here and straight into surgery where they decided that delivering the baby was the best option and repairing the damage. They did they best job they could with the damage done and they fear that infection is what will take her. She's been out of surgery since 7 pm and they are just making her comfortable. We are hoping for her to get better…."
"But too much damage was done."
"Yeah. I'll leave you to it and I'll go and get your little girl."
"Thank you Kasey."
"No worries." She says leaving the room.
He moves closer to her side and places his hand on her swollen abdomen. She looked so peaceful and quiet just like she was napping. He knew she was under medical sedation and a lot of pain meds to ease the pain. He knew if she woke up it would be a miracle and for the chance to see her eyes again would calm him down a whole heap. Just to hear her voice and such. He kissed her lips and then stood back, grasping her hand.
"I'm so sorry, Mer. You didn't deserve this to happen to you. I was always meant to catch you before you hit the ground. I failed you today and I failed you at my promise I made you. The promise we made each other. Forever meant forever and forever was until we were 100 years old and after we saw the world together and were finally with one another, spending every waking minute with each other. I was almost finished the tour as well and I would have been back for the birth of our baby and then we were going to pack up and move to California and be a family. We would finally live our dreams that we had and I would show you my life and how wonderful it has been to be on the road, writing and recording." He says.
"I haven't even met our little girl yet. I feel terrible that I wasn't here sooner. No one called me or rang me and I would have been here in a heartbeat. Kasey has just gone to get our girl for you to meet her." He says. "I want you to be strong and try and fight this til the very end. Fight this pain and fight this infection with the strong will I know you have. Fight for your life. Light up this world. Be my lady. I need you to breathe and be you so we can be a family and live those dreams we have but I will understand if you don't want to be in this terrible world and if you want to slip into peacefulness and a place where there is no pain but imagine the pain we will go through. The struggles and the constant grief we will have. Think about us as well when you make your final fight.
He looks at her for another long moment. "I have no regrets towards you. Everything you did was right and I was the jerk who could have changed a whole heap of things. I just think time flew and when I realised what was going on, it was too late. I have loved you ever since and I will continue to love you. My focus will be on the kids and making you better. Getting you home and getting you healthy and living again. I will provide all of you with love and we will live out those promises of destination." He says.
"I know I shouldn't feel guilty but all I feel is guilt and this guilt will stay with me for many days until I can forgive myself for the mistakes I have made. Nobody is perfect. You taught me that as well. I know that you love me and I know that love hurts sometimes. It can hurt an awful lot but I will heal that pain. You will heal that pain."
He leans down and kisses her lips. "I love you Meredith and just for me can you open your eyes and meet your girl when she comes into this room. Meet our little girl just in case your time comes. I want you to have that memory of her."
Thoughts, comments, reviews, favourites, likes?
This will let me know how everyone is enjoying and what not. So as a favour to me a little review would be nice.
I'll try and update in the next week with questions solved and such.