A new Batman and Joker fic for you all.
I hope you enjoy it!
Joker looked down at the crumpled heap of bat, bleeding on the floor.
He crouched down, holding his hand to Batman's neck, checking for a pulse.
"Thank god…" he said gently, "I thought those bastards had killed you."
Joker hooked his arms around the larger man, straining to lift him, pulling him down the dank and dark alleyway, down a small corridor. Batman's legs twitched slightly as he tried to move away from the clown, not knowing where he was being taken.
Joker made a gentle hush noise, pulling him across the old wooden floor, he placed him on a half-worn bad, lifting the man's legs and laying him down.
He watched as Batman squirmed uselessly, "Batsy," he said sharply, "Stop squirming, you'll just make it worse."
The clown pulled something from a table nearby, and lifted Batman's wrist. Batman felt pain run through his arm, and heard the soft noise of metal on metal as Joker attached to him what he soon realised was a pair of handcuffs, "Sorry," Joker said, attaching the other end to the bed, "But I can't have you getting away again."
Batman tried to hold back a screech of pain as Joker took his arm, inspecting it, and laying it gently by the man's side.
"Dislocated… gash to the head, no concussion though – that's odd… and a rather nasty laser burn to the leg."
Batman lay gasping on the bed, hissing in pain, unsure why Joker was acting like this.
"We'll have you fixed up in no time!" Joker yelled, Batman felt a wash of fear flood him, remembering the last time the man had said that, after which he had pulled out a surgical knife, and just started cutting.
Joker watched Batman try to inch himself away, he chuckled, "Calm down, I do actually want to help you this time."
"W-Why..?" Batman asked breathily, beginning to still himself.
Joker shrugged, "Because we are now both on the same side."
Batman frowned, even that caused him pain, "N-No…w-we're-"
"Hush, laddy… You're going to make yourself sick!" Joker pulled a medical kit from seemingly nowhere, and began prodding at Batman's wounded head.
The touch made his head spin with pain, making his body convulse a little, making him moan.
"Shit, they really did get you good didn't they?!" the clown said with a soft chuckle, continuing despite the bat's discomfort.
"Why are they going after you? I thought you were friends."
Batman swallowed the hunk of vomit in his throat, "I-I don't k-know…" he said gently, for once it was true, he really had no idea, he hardly even remembered the past week.
He remembered something about an invasion… but then, only black.
"You not knowing something? Makes a nice change."
Batman groaned as Joker began stitching the gash on his head. "Batsy… I might have to take your cowl off to get at this properly."
"…F-Fuck you," Batman growled defiantly.
Joker laughed loudly, "Ah, oh, yes! I should expect nothing more," he continued stitching, pausing only to mop up newly discovered blood, "Fine, I won't, but if it starts smelling like egg then I'm taking it off if you like it or not."
Joker stitched all he could of Batman's head, then moved to the man's arm, pushing it forcefully until it popped back into place.
Joker smiled as Batman let out a harsh scream, letting the arm hang again, "Oh you liked that?"
He moved down to the burn on Batman's leg, pulling back the material around the wound, inhaling the rancid scent of burned hair.
"Now I know Batman has dark hair…" Joker mumbled to himself, he pulled out a can of antiseptic-spray.
Batman roared as Joker sprayed his leg, feeling the hot sting of pain ebb through him.
"Hush little Batman, don't say a word, daddy's gunna get you a mocking bird," Joker sang gently. "…Well, no I'm not. Honestly I don't even know what a mocking bird looks like."
Joker stared down at the bat, waiting to see if he would get a chuckle or a smile. He pouted when no such thing came, and he got to his feet.
"And now we wait!" he yelled, flinging his arms into the air, "If you're not dead by morning then I'll make you pancakes. Doesn't that sound nice?"
Again Batman didn't respond, he lay panting on the bed, Joker huffed slightly, "Well… even if you're not, I am hungry, I'm going to make myself some food. I'll check back on you in a bit."
Joker left the room, leaving Batman under the soft sickly glow of the street light which shone through the half-cracked window.
Bruce didn't even know where he was, or how he got there. He struggled to remember, but it hurt, his head screamed. It was as if the memory was locked away, any attempt to remember just sparked more pain.
He could hear Joker singing in the kitchen, even the noise of that hurt.
Why was Joker being so nice to him?
Why was his mind telling him to relax?
Joker could have killed him, left him to die… why had he helped?
He felt sleep began to creep up on him, making his lids heavy, dulling his pain, he didn't want to sleep, he didn't know Joker why had brought him here, or what he planned to do, but he didn't have the strength to move. He didn't know why. He felt like it had been days since he slept.
He closed his eyes, all he could hear was Joker's singing, he absent-mindedly moved his mouth along to the words as his mind forced him to fall to sleep.
"Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree.
Merry, merry, king of the bush is he,
Laugh Kookaburra, laugh,
Kookaburra, gay your life must be."
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