This goes out to fuzipenguin on LJ as a belated birthday present. I was asked to do a 5 plus 1 story with the topic: Five times Murdock faked being crazy and the one time he wasn't pretending.

This is movie verse and will have slashy Face/Murdock elements.

Disclaimer: Blah blah... don't own characters. (As if any of you would have assumed I did had I not said anything to the contrary).

Chapter One: Sunny Days

Murdock was lightly dozing on one of the loungers set up near the grill when he felt a chill climb up his spine. He knew from the sudden desire to hum the wicked witch's theme from "Wizard of Oz" that Sosa had approached.

Sure enough… "Hey dipshit, where's Peck?"

The pilot pushed his hat back from his face and looked up at the stuck up bitch who would never be good enough for his best friend. Making a real effort to be at least civil to Temp's girl, Murdock shrugged. "Hannibal sent him to pick something up. I'll tell him you slithered… I mean stopped by." Civility was overrated anyway.

Charissa's eyes narrowed at the lanky ranger. "Don't bother. I'll wait here for him."

*Aw hell no no no! MAYDAY!*

Murdock racked his brain for anything that would keep him from having to share space without being forced to abandon his comfy spot. He grinned as inspiration suddenly stuck.

"Do to want you whatever do."

Sosa scrunched her nose as if she got a whiff of something particularly rancid. "What?"

The pilot rolled his eyes and sighed. "Myself repeat to have shouldn't I. Socializing are you which with those to attention pay not to rude it's know you don't?"

Charissa growled and declined to answer. She instead made herself comfortable on the closest chair despite the less than desirable company. Like the world famous chef, Emeril Lagasse, Murdock decided to "kick it up a notch".

"Day sunny…."

***An undetermined amount of time later***

Face sauntered back to the A-Team section of the base with Hannibal's newly requisitioned cigars. He paused and nearly dropped the box when what sounded like the roar of a wounded animal assaulted his ears. His eyes widened comically behind his aviators when H.M. Murdock sprinted by him singing something at the top of his lungs. On his heels and swinging what appeared to be one of B.A.'s larger socket wrenches was Lieutenant Charissa Sosa.

This time he did drop the box and pounced on his girlfriend. Face wasn't sure whether he did it to save Murdock from a concussion or Sosa from death. (Bosco wasn't very forgiving when any of his tools went missing, after all).

"Whoa, whoa, hang on!" He wrested the wrench from her surprisingly strong grip and shifted quickly to the side when the irate woman tried to knee him in the groin in retaliation.

During this struggle, Murdock proved exactly why he had been locked up in a secured mental ward when he came back in sight of the enraged woman. "Geez, what's wrong with your girl, Face? All I did was try to entertain her 'till you got there and she went psycho!"

"Let me guess… Les Misérables with the sock puppets again?" Templeton grunted when a flailing elbow caught him in the jaw, sending his sunglasses flying. Sosa redoubled her efforts to kill the lunatic pilot as he came closer and squatted down beside her and Peck.

H.M. scoffed. "She wishes! I chose a classic piece which has inspired countless generations and guided them on the right life paths." The pilot appeared to be legitimately angry that whatever he had chosen to do had sparked Sosa's ire. "Not only did I carefully pick the most perfect selection, I even decided on a custom arrangement which would have thrilled and amazed her if she were human!"

Charissa emitted a sound which nearly caused Face to lose control of his bladder. Murdock, on the other hand, tweaked her nose and stuck his tongue out at her.

"Dude, what did you sing?!"

Trying her best to claw out the pilot's eyes while he thumbed his nose at her, Sosa screamed. "He sang the Sesame Street theme… THREE TIMES IN A ROW! BACKWARDS! And then when I threatened to rearrange his colon he moved on to THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! ALSO BACKWARDS!"

The pilot had now turned around and was shaking his ass at her. Face, in a rare moment of true stupidity, giggled. "Man I love the Sesame Street theme!"

Realizing his faux pas, Templeton's eyes widened a split second before his girlfriend's fingers closed around his throat.

In retrospect, Murdock decided he had gone perhaps a bit too far in his endeavor. It took poor Facey a whole week to stop limping, and the involuntary flinch he gave every time B.A. asked about his missing wrench would probably also disappear with time. Though if the corporal knew where the tool had been he probably wouldn't want it back anyhow.

The only good to come out of the situation is Charissa Sosa never again chose to spend any time around Captain Murdock when it wasn't strictly necessary.