Story takes place while Rin is locked in Mephisto's prison. There's a twist! When the group comes to save Rin, they are sucked into his past memories. Upon arrival, they discover they can hear all of Rin thoughts, as well as feel all of his emotions.

First chapter will be Rin's POV. POV will probably change every other chapter. You'll have to forgive any grammar mistakes I make. This is my first fan fiction, so try and be gentle. Constructive criticism is appreciated. If you notice any mistakes, please feel free to inform me. If you have any requests, and would like to see something specific in this story, than you can leave a review, and I'll consider it, giving you credit, of course. I'm not sure how often I'll update, but if I get good reactions, then I'll try hard. May be OOC. Please keep in mind that Rin is the property of Kazue Kato.

Rin's Pov:

He stood atop the railing, clutching one of the bridge's poles for support. It was raining heavily. He was soaking wet, bleeding, and trembling. He was also as high as a kite, the offending drug being a very strong pain killer. His sleeves had turned a sickening shade of pink. Just like his cheeks. He was cold, but warm at the same time. He slowly released his source of support, and stretched out his bleeding arms for balance. He walked along the rail, as if a tight rope walker. He stumbled, but managed to catch himself on another pole, preventing himself from plummeting to the chilly waters below.

He slowly lowered himself from the railing onto the safety of the concrete sidewalk below.

I wonder if I would die if I jumped from here?

He thought to himself, unaware that there were others, who were close by, that could actually hear everything he thought. He was also unaware of the fact that said people were his so called "friends." At this point in Rin's life he didn't believe in friendship. Didn't believe in much of anything. The only things he could bring himself to believe, was that he was a demon, and his brother was an angel. Thinking about his brother made him shiver, to think that the nerdy little kid he had protected all these years was the only thing keeping him alive.

Yukio. Does he still need protection? Lately, when I try to help him, I get pushed away. An angry Yukio is a scary Yukio. I'm afraid that Yukio will come to hate me, and not want my protection. In actuality, I already know it's happening. I've always done my best to take care of Yukio. I've always been a bad child. A delinquent, if you will. I know how to fight. And when fighting isn't enough, I throw myself in front of Yukio to prevent injury. After many years of this, Yukio has learned to wrap bandages, and clean wounds.

Yukio is a picky eater, so I learned how to cook. I know what Yukio likes, and what he doesn't. I know what he's allergic to, and I know how to portion things out correctly. I know that Yukio eats a bowl of rice at breakfast, 1 and a half cups at lunch, and two bowls at dinner time. He likes it when his food has been arranged by food group, and he prefers veggies over meat. I know that Yukio always has a time set aside for homework, and I try not to annoy him during that time. I know that Yukio falls asleep around 10:00 pm, and wakes up at 5:00 am. But he likes to set the alarm for 4:59 am.

I know that Yukio is getting tougher. Before long, I will be left without a purpose.

I have no dream for the future, nor desire kept specifically for myself. All I want is Yukio's happiness. And, if I have to play a demon to protect my brother, I will do it. I would gladly offer up my soul and take his place in hell, if it meant that Yukio would reach heaven. Wouldn't give it a second though. No, I wouldn't even think about it. If the time ever came I would throw caution to the wind and step out of the way before it could come back and smack me in the face.

His thought left Yukio, and retuned to bloody wrists, and the water that churned below the bridge.

I've heard of plenty of people dying from a jump like this. But, can I call my self a person? Everyone says I'm a demon. So, could a demon die from a jump such as this one? It could go a several ways.

I'm really a human, I die from the fall.
I'm not a human, I live to breath another day.
I'm a human, I break my neck, but live. I'm paralyzed, life's a bitch, blah, blah, blah.
I'm a demon, a live, but am injured severely.
I'm a demon, I live, I'm completely unharmed.
I'm a demon, I die anyway.
I'm an idiot, decide not to jump, go home, take a bath, apologize for retuning late, tell everyone I'm fine, when I'm clearly not okay, ignore my little brothers worried face, regret not jumping, come back and do this bullshit all over again tomorrow.

Okay. Now, I would really love a warm bath right now, cause it's fucking cold! But I'm bleeding everywhere about to pass out, and I probably won't make it home. I'll try anyways, I guess.

He reached down and picked up his school bag, where he no longer kept school supplies. Right now it had a bottle of painkillers, bandages, various other medical supplies, snacks, and a change of clothes.

Oh, lucky me, It's an umbrella. He thought sarcastically.

By now he had noticed that the pain killer was no longer working as well as it was earlier, he felt himself returning to the reality that was "sober." And what a damnable reality it was. A massive headache, and arms he tore apart himself using the same old dull razor blade he had always used. He wanted desperately to take his precious medication and just swallow it, bottle and all. But he knew that anymore would cause an OD and that was something he didn't need right now.

He stumbled into an empty ally where he found some much appreciated dry ground. He pried his soaking wet shirt from his torso and chest. He knew it would be hell trying to loosen it from his arms. He decided to just jerk it off, like a band aid. When he did, he couldn't stop the pained whimpering that escaped his mouth. He bit harshly at his lower lip, trying his best to regain his composure. It also began to bleed, but he quickly lapped up the crimson liquid. After he was free, he bent down and rummaged around in his pack, pulling out some tissues, a pack of butterfly closures, and bandages.

He paid close attention when Yukio had treated his injuries, so he knew how this would have to go down. He grimaced as he reached back into the bag for the peroxide. He looked away as he poured the stinging liquid onto the cuts of his left arm. His favorite arm to cut. He tried to ignore the tears that weld up in his eyes. After the burning sensation had numbed considerably, he moved onto the right arm. He repeated the earlier action and was pleasantly surprised when it hadn't hurt half s much. He then wiped the blood off with a tissue, and applied the butterfly closures to the larger cuts.

He finished up by wrapping himself in bandages. He had to admit he felt a lot better now. He was still wet so he pulled the hand towel out of his bag and dried his hair and upper body with it. He then changed into his extra shirt, abandoning the old one in the dumpster at the far end of the ally. His new shirt was actually a nice blouse, it was red, with black buttons. My hair's a mess. He noticed, while looking into a puddle. So he dug into his bag once more and pulled out some hair gel, and the umbrella. He slicked his hair back and unfolded his umbrella.

He could finally go back home. This should had been a relief, would've been a relief, had it not been for the lecture he was most certainly going to receive. Probably a chat about God to. "Honor thy mother and father" Same old crap he usually got. Still, he knew he'd be relieved when he saw his father.
Rin finally made it home, he was a mess, of course, but he was home. He latched onto the heavy church doors and pushed with all his remaining strength.

Why must they be so damn heavy!?

They creaked open, but only enough for Rin to squeeze his lithe body inside. He was to tired to bother with his umbrella, so he left it there.

I really want a bath. He made his way to the front row of pews, but found himself on his knees before he could make it to the back.

I give up. He though as he pulled himself onto the front pew and lay down. He was dizzy from the blood loss, the fever, the meds. Everything had him worn down. He opened his eyes to stare at the cross which hung on the wall in front of him. A demon at the churches mercy. Ironic. He lay there, staring begrudgingly at the cross. He soon fell into a light sleep, hoping his father would come and find him soon.

I don't want him to know what I've been doing. I just want to be in my bead…

I just wished for something didn't I? To be in my comfy warm bed. Sleeping across the room from my brother. Hearing him breath. Being near someone. Not so… untouchable. I wish someone would just reach out and touch me. Just a hug, or a hand to ruffle my hair. I used to get that kind of attention, didn't I? Back when I was younger, less of a demon. Or maybe it's my fault? For being the way I am toward others. I'm cruel to my father, but why?

Because he's a priest who has no business loving a demon such as myself.

He couldn't help himself anymore. He chocked, and hiccupped, and sobbed. He wanted his father. He wanted the pain to go away. He wanted his brother to need him for more than just protection. He wanted to be wanted. Wanted to be loved, wanted to have friends, wanted his family, wished he had dreams, wished he had someone who understood him, and wished he could understand things more than he did now. Wished he wasn't stupid, wished he wasn't mean, wished he'd kept going to school, wished he wasn't a demon.

"Rin? What's the matter?" His fathers voice.

He knew he's made a mistake now. He should've been more careful so as not to be caught crying. But he secretly wanted to be caught. Wanted it, and yet couldn't bring himself to look in his father's eyes.

He could hear a sigh from above him, as his father sat down next to him.

"Here I was, hoping to lecture you, only to find you crying your face off like a little girl." He chuckled.

Only response he received was more hiccupping and sobbing. He frowned, now positive something was very wrong with his son.

"Rin, what wrong?" He asks again, more demanding this time.

I wish I had some kind of excuse for acting this way.

"I-I'm s-s-sor-r-ry." He replied simply, feeling embarrassed.

"Sorry for what, Rin?" He asks sternly.

"I-I'm c-c-cold, and t-tired, a-and, m-my a-ar-ms h-hurt." He said without realizing.
"Rin, what wrong with your arms?" He asked gently.

My arms? What's wrong with my… oh no.

Rin felt his eyes widened, and found himself unable to make anymore noise.

"Rin." He heard he father coo.

Before he could protest, warm and calloused hand had found their way to his arms. They were lifted gently from there place by Rin's side. He was slowly leaned upward to face his father.

Not good.

"D-don't." He tried.

Too late, his arm were in his father's lap. His sleeves were pulled up. There was unwrapping of bandages. There was a gasp, and then there was silence. Rin had never heard this kind of silence before. He wasn't sure whether his father was angry, upset, annoyed, frustrated, or worse.

"When did this… why did you…?" His father interrogated.

Rin couldn't do anything. He was too ashamed to look at his father. All he could do was cry. And so he did.

"Rin, I understand… I understand, so it's alright. I'll make it better, I promise. I know, I should've realized you were hurting earlier. I'm so sorry. So sorry." He said as he rocked a broken Rin back and fourth. Rin's crying stopped suddenly. Father Fujimoto looked down to find Rin was unconscious. Panting heavily, face red as a beat, and wrists beginning in to bleed again. He carefully rewrapped the bandages on his arms and carried him to the bathroom, sitting him gently on the sink counter. He took out a towel and cleaned him up, wiping away the soot and the sweat from his face.

He changed him into a pear of pajamas, and carried him to his own bedroom, so as not to worry Yukio. He placed a wet towel on his forehead and lay down beside him, removing the hair that was clinging on to his sweaty face, and stroking his soft raven locks. Rin was now regaining consciousness. He looked up at his father with half lidded eyes. "so-rry." he managed. "Don't be." His father replied. And with that he slipped back into a dreamless sleep.