A/N: This is the epilogue, lovelies. It's named Counting Stars (same as chapter 1) a song by Sugarcult.

No real warnings, really. Shocker, I know. Well, there is some mention of suicidal thoughts...but, I mean, don't you kind of expect it after that last chapter?

And, um, review? Please?

Disclaimer (for the last time, oh my god D,: ) - I don't own the beautiful people in this fanfiction, even if I somewhat tweaked their personalities and the events of their lives and made them fall into a homosexual romance that was TOTALLY apparent in the movies. Stan Lee, let me love you.

~Enjoy, babes~

Tony had finally stopped partying enough to come home and shower- three days wearing the same clothes and he wasn't smelling so...fresh anymore. The warm water had felt good, relaxing a bit of the tension between his shoulder blades. It had also reminded him of the silky feeling of Loki's wet skin, the way his eyelashes sparkled with liquid diamonds, how his smile looked with man-made raindrops resting on them.

Tony's fist still hurt from punching the wall.

His eyes were still ringed with red from the sobs that had exploded in his chest.

And he was more than willing to die, when he didn't have the only thing left worth living for.

Now, all he had to do was wait. And we all know how good Tony is at patience. Of course, he could always speed it up. But that would leave things unclear. Loki would never know why Tony had broken up with him- and that just wasn't acceptable. Loki had to know. He had to understand. Tony couldn't die, if he didn't know that Loki would hear and realize exactly why Tony had done the terrible things he had.

In retrospect, Tony regretted it all. He regretted not falling harder, sooner. He regretted waiting so long to take off the clothing barring them from each other. He regretted not giving up all his secrets to the pallid teenager with hair the color of death. He regretted it all, because Loki was his. Loki had been his. And now, Loki would be someone else's. In a way, he was glad. And, in a very dissimilar way, he was upset that someday, Loki would no longer be bound to him. That someday, the beautiful young man would be loved by someone else, someone kinder and sweeter and better. Someone that would eventually wipe away every trace of Tony from Loki's mind.

Maybe that's what was making everything start to end faster.

Maybe that's what caused the pain in his chest.

Maybe that's why Tony wanted to rip the arc reactor out of his chest, and end it right now.

He was back at his dorm. In bed. Sniffling and trying to stop the tears by pretty much not breathing more than he absolutely had to and blinking about three billion times a second- it wasn't working. And everything hurt. Everything. His formerly burnt arm- which felt just like it did the day he'd woken up in the hospital and found out, oh yeah, he's an orphan. His cut up arm- which is bandaged and looks like hell. And his heart- the most wounded of all.

Trembling fingers ran down that old burn, feeling the strange texture of the newer, scarred skin. It felt foreign, alien, like it didn't belong on him. He remembered how Anthony had come to the hospital, looking shy and embarrassed and completely taken with him. It had shot a thrill through his heart, that he had denied even recognizing. And it made him remember that drunken moment he had carefully filed away for just such moments as this, when his world was imploding and it seemed like nothing would ever be right again. That moment when he had first kissed Anthony Edward Stark, billionaire, playboy, genius, and the love of Loki's life.

He remembered that taste like it was on his tongue right now. He remembered clutching at the inventor with all the might in his then-shaky, feeble body. He remembered wishing on all the shooting stars in the world, that that moment might last forever and take him away from the hell his life had become in something just short of an instant. And yes, that night had been ill-fated, and cursed by the constellations smiling above them. But it had been a beacon of light in the all-encompassing darkness.

Anthony had looked at him like he was worshiped. Anthony had treated him like a god, like something special in a good way, like something he had truly loved. And Loki had been stupid enough to fall for it- as the red lines on his arm reminded him. It had been stupid, dumb, reckless, and Loki had known it. He had done it anyways, being careless with his heart and placing it in irresponsible hands, hands that could so easily crush him.

And Loki was crushed.

Loki was hurt.

Loki was broken.

And really, everything in his life hadn't been this magnificently fucked in a very long time. He missed knowing how to smile. Because, suddenly, all he knew how to do was cry.

Tony sat before the screen, watching the screensaver change every three seconds. It switched from picture to picture, torturing him and healing him with visions of him and Loki- happy, smiling, teasing, tickling, loving. There was pain in his chest like never before, nearly incapacitating him, making him stay still or be shot through the chest with agony.

It was the end.

Just a few more hours.

A picture of him and Loki, locked together, kissing, eyes closed, alone in their own world- came up on the screen as he moaned quietly in pain. It was the only sound in the big laboratory beneath the Stark mansion. A phone sat beside him. It's homescreen was decorated by another depiction of he and the one who truly owned his heart. Everywhere, there were pictures of he and Loki, reminding him of what he'd done, of what he'd lost.

He leaned back in his chair, dialing Pep's number. He could feel the power of the arc reactor start to flicker. He was losing the will to live, it was time to say goodbye. Even if Potts got here in time, no one could save him. It was a lost cause; only he and Yinsen alone knew the technology it took to save him. And even that was a temporary, illusive fix. It was over. The fighting was futile, the war between Tony and Death was lost.

She picked up on the second ring. He smiled, she had never missed his call. "Hey! Tony, I was just about to call you." Her voice seemed to be shaking, making him sit up in his chair and stare at the screen blankly, completely focused on what words would come out of her mouth next. "It's about Loki..." She trailed off, obviously hesitant.

Tony frowned, still gazing at the monitor before him. Loki was laughing, Tony's fingers roaming his body- a precious moment captured, frozen, secured for years to come. "What about Loki? Is he okay?" He hadn't the presence of mind to keep the panic from his voice. "What happened, Potts?" His heart was pounding, making an unbearable ache start deep in his chest.

"Well, yeah. I think so. It's just..." She paused, obviously choosing her words carefully. Tony bit his lip, closing his eyes and praying for Loki to be okay. It was all that mattered, now, in the last few moments of his life. "He's gone, Tony. He's on a plane to Europe. Thor just called me, he thought you should know. Actually-"

The voice in his ear disappeared, snatched from a hand suddenly paralyzed. His lungs slowed, his heart rate dropped. Everything achingly froze. Obadiah appeared in front of him, sitting on the desk and smiling at him malignantly. An evil twinkle colored his eyes. Tony fought to speak, but felt as if everything was weighed down and leaden. He couldn't move, barely breathing, barely functioning, even the blood in his veins slowed to a crawl. But his mind, that was moving at a speed he wasn't even sure he had ever attained before.

Obadiah waved a silver wand in front of his face. Tony hazily recognized it through the racing thoughts, rushing through his mind like a tidal wave. "Remember this, Tony? One of your best inventions. It's a shame it wasn't cleared for use by the military." He shook his head, opening a brief case beside him. Inside, Tony recognized some sort of gadget, which Stane placed over the arc reactor in his chest. "But this...This is your magnum opus, the goose's golden egg, per say." He chuckled, the gadget engaging the device and ripping it from its anchoring. Pain shot through him like a bullet. A groan drowned in his throat. "It's a shame you didn't want to share the technology with me. All of this could have been avoided." He shrugged. "Really, you should've been dead a year ago. Me and your father had you kidnapped, and Raza was supposed to kill you. But, as they say, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself." Obie stood. He walked behind Tony, and soon music flooded the laboratory.

'Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin, apologize for all my sins...'

It was a song Loki had told him about when they first met. It had been on constantly when Loki was living with him right after the dorms burnt down. Tony had nearly forgotten it. Ironic, that it come on now, of all times.

'All the things I should've said to you. Hey, I can't make it go away, over and over in my brain again, all the things I should've said to you...'

"Oh, Tony, this is your ninth symphony." Obadiah held the glowing arc reactor in his hand, twisting it back and forth. Tony glared at him as best he could. Something warm was running out of his ear. Blood. One of the many reasons the short-term paralysis wand had been "destroyed." Or so he thought. "You know, just because you have an idea, doesn't mean it belongs to you. Your dad gave us the atomic bomb. Now what kind of world would it be, if he had kept that knowledge all to himself?" Tony grit his teeth, the pain getting more unbearable by the second.

'Counting stars, wishing I was okay; crashing down was my biggest mistake...'

The song wove through his ears, reminding him of Loki's voice, giving him something to hold onto. It was like a pain-reliever.

'I never, ever meant to hurt you, I only did what I had to. Counting stars again...'

Oh, what he'd do to be able to tell Loki he was sorry. To explain. But he couldn't, the giant hole in his chest being one of the many reasons why.

'Hey, I'll take this day-by-day, under the covers, I'm okay I guess...'

And this song was so fabulously Loki, he could hardly think past the lyrics that reached his ear drums.

"Oh, Tony." Obadiah stood, shaking his head. "Too bad you hadn't died in the bomb a year ago. It would've made things so much easier on you. But, in restrospect, it worked much better for me." He stooped in front of Tony so they were eye-to-eye. Tony glared viciously. "Thank you, Tony. You've made me a very rich man."

'Life's too short, and I feel small...'

Tony watched him leave out of the corner of his eye, feeling some sensation start in the tips of his fingers. Everything in him was hopeless, except that tiny part of him that was screaming for him to get the fuck up because he had a beautiful, raven-haired boy to apologize to and live for. But he couldn't. He was bound down, tethered.

It was over.

His eyes looked back at that Christmas gift from Loki.

Or was it?

'Counting stars, wishing I was okay. Crashing down was my biggest mistake. I never, ever meant to hurt you, I only did what I had to...Counting stars again...'

At the airport, Loki stood nervously beside Thor, his fingers threaded between Thor's. His hand was dwarfed by the older man's, making him feel even smaller and less insignificant than he already felt. This was a bad idea, he was leaving the only two people in this world that he truly loved- Thor Odinson, and Anthony Stark. But what other choice did he have?

"Brother, you must contact me as soon as you land." He was pulled to face very wet, very sorrowful cobalt eyes. Loki swallowed back the sob that arose in his throat. "I- I want to know you're okay. Please...please let me hear from you often." Not for the first time, Loki Laufeyson fell in love with his foster brother.

He nodded, swallowing hard. "Of course." His voice was husky, because in the past few days, he had leaned on his brother more than he had since he was sixteen years old. And he had needed that. He had needed to remember the Thor he had known when they were young and life was simpler- the Thor that had cleaned his wounds, kissed away his tears, and rocked him back to sleep after nightmares. "I'll make sure to call you once a week or so." He promised, squeezing the hand that was holding him so tightly it almost cut off the blood circulation in his fingers.

Thor averted his eyes, still holding him like he was his lifeline. "I don't want you to go." His voice was a wet, shaky reminder of the fact that, as hard as he may be, Thor had more of a heart than any man Loki had ever known. "I want you to stay. I want you here. I can keep you safe, I can keep that-that maniac away from you." His eyes hit Loki's again, a burning, fiery, passionate sapphire that Loki had only encountered once- and that once had been so long ago, he'd nearly forgotten it.

Thor had pretty much flipped his shit the morning after Loki and Anthony broke up, when Loki told him all that had happened after he left the party. If Loki hadn't physically restrained him...well, the inventor would probably be in the hospital with multiple broken bones and a concussion or shattered skull. Nevertheless, he had calmed down as soon as Loki explained that he was 'okay' and that he still loved Anthony far too much to let Thor harm him.

"I know, darling." Loki sighed, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "But I must go. For me. You understand?" He spoke in a low, tender voice- for this once, he was the one babying Thor, not the other way around. "You know I have to do this, don't you?" Loki's doing that thing where you ask a question everyone in the god damn world knows the answer to, merely to prove a point.

Thor nodded dolefully. "I do." He sucked in a heavy breath. "But do you have to go so far?" And honestly, it's not like Loki's going halfway across the world. Just Europe. It's not a big deal, Thor.

Loki reminded himself that right now was the worst time in the world to roll his eyes. "Yes, I do. I have to start over. Between Thanos and Stark..." He shrugged. "It's time for a change of scenery." A big change of scenery, the kind that has a whole different country involved.

A lone tear slid down Thor's cheek- unbidden, no doubt, because when was crying in public ever acceptable for an Odinson?- and broke Loki's heart. He wiped it away with a thumb, causing Thor to look down at the floor. "I'll just miss you, that's all." Like it wasn't a big deal and like Thor wasn't totally breaking Loki's poor, abused heart.

Over the speakers, Loki heard his flight get called. "Darling, I must go." He whispered, very aware that Thor's semi-new girlfriend was watching, and listening, and that her pretty hazel eyes were glistening.

Before he could react, he was swept into a crushing hug that almost re-broke his ribs for the second time. "I love you, little brother." Thor's voice was husky and broken. Loki wrapped his arms around the man's neck and held him tightly, wishing for all the world that the man could come with him, that he could take him everywhere like the little lost puppy he resembled.

He was put back on his feet gently, and a kiss was placed at the side of his mouth, the beginnings of a beard tickling his face. "I love you too...brother." He winked, his hands trembling as he picked up his bags. "I'll call you, okay? And," He smirked. "Behave." He nodded once towards the young woman now holding Thor's hand consolingly.

Then he got in line, ticket in hand, to board the plane- ignoring the way his heart was breaking again and again and again.

Obadiah Stane walked away from the Stark family mansion with a smile on his face and a brief case in his hand that held several billion dollars worth of technology. With this in his power, Stane could literally take over the world. Right now, he was the richest man in the world.

Dialing a number on his phone, he listened to the dialtone. "Hello?" A husky, accented voice answered.

"Raza, get my suit hooked up. I got it." He had shipped the man over a few months ago in preparation for this very moment. Now, was his time. And there was no irritating, arrogant Stark to stop him.

Now, Obadiah was getting what he deserved. And the whole world would be witnessing it.

The plane was rumbling beneath him as he put his head phones in. He skipped through a few party songs that he and Anthony had danced to over the last few weeks, until he got to his favorite song. Counting Stars by Sugarcult. He smiled softly, feeling his heart pick up pace a bit. He had listened to this song with Anthony countless times over the past few years, telling him how much he loved the lyrics, listening to the inventor sing them softly in his ear as he fell asleep.

Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin, apologize for all my sins, all the things I should have said to you. Hey, I can't make it go away, over and over in my brain again, all the things I should have said to you. Counting starsm wishing I was okay. Crashing down was my biggest mistake. I never, ever meant to hurt you, I only did what I had to. Counting stars again.

It was all like a dream now. All those times, hearing Anthony pour his very soul into whispered words that meant so much to them both.

Hey, I'll take this day by day by day. Under the covers, I'm okay, I guess. Life's too short and I feel small. Counting stars wishing I was okay. Crashing down was my biggest mistake. I never, ever meant to hurt you, I only did what I had to. Counting stars again.

It occurred to Loki, that maybe Anthony only did what he had to.

Maybe they just weren't meant to be.

Maybe, this was for the best.

Or maybe, Loki was just reaching for hope, and coming up empty-handed.

New York City started to disappear beneath the clouds.

A/N: The end, my lovelies. The next part of this series will be started very soon, so keep your eyes open for it. It'll be called Different Stars- a song by the Trespassors William.

To be honest, I'm completely in love with this site, with the people on it (you beautiful folks) and the opportunity to write and have it read by, you know, actual human beings. I hope you all have enjoyed this as much as I have xoxox.

Sorry for the sadistic cliffhanger. You guys know how I am by now xD.

Ugh. The Thor/Loki in this. I was seriously tearing up. -sniffles and starts sobbing-

Pleaseeeeee review. This is it, kiddos. The very last 'chapter' of Counting Stars.

I'm gonna end this now, because I'm actually crying. No joke.

I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLL.

~xoxox, Rayn.